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To all -
A friend sent this to me. Interesting.......

Here's the way it should be:


Let's put the seniors in jail and the criminals in nursing homes.



This would correct two things in one motion:


Seniors would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.

They would receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs, etc.

They would receive money instead of having to pay it out.

They would have constant video monitoring , so they would be helped instantly if they fell or needed assistance.

Bedding would be washed twice a week and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.

A guard would check on them every 20 minutes.

All meals and snacks would be brought to them

They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.

They would have access to a library, weight/fitness room, spiritual counseling, a pool and education...and free admission to in-house concerts by nationally recognized entertainment artists.

Simple clothing - i.e., shoes, slippers, pj's - and legal aid would be free, upon request.

There would be private, secure rooms provided for all with an outdoor exercise yard complete with gardens.

Each senior would have a P.C., T.V., phone and radio in their room at no cost.

They would receive daily phone calls.

There would be a board of directors to hear any complaints and the ACLU would fight for their rights and protection.

The guards would have a code of conduct to be strictly adhered to, with attorneys available, at no charge to protect the seniors and their families from abuse or neglect.


As for the criminals :




They would receive cold food.

They would be left alone and unsupervised.

They would receive showers once a week.

They would live in tiny rooms, for which they would have to pay $5,000 per month.

They would have no hope of ever getting out.

" Sounds like justice to me !"



(If You agree, pass this on!)
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Wow! Talk about taking me on a trip down Memory Lane! Unfortunately, I didn't realize until AFTER I started to brush my teeth and got her hair stuck between my teeth. (Sorry...) I ended up buying a bunch of toothbrushes when they were on sale and keeping a few handy ~ just in case :)
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Rip you are so importamt to the group and are a big help and a good friend to us all-do not for a momment think what you do is not important nothing helps us as much as your kindness and understanding out lives suck most of the time and you make us feel better. Sunny you said it so well and that is what my Mom tries to tell us but not in a nice way-but does say she is so tired of everyone telling her what to do-of course it is necessary for her,
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your description of what the person with ALZ is going through is a good way of looking at this. thanks for sharing it
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Can you imagine? Being told you're wrong over and over. When did that start? Being treated like a child when you have been an adult for a long time. Being told so and so is not who you know they are. Pushed and pulled to go in one direction or another against your will. What will? No personal choices or decisions anymore. Someone telling you when to get up, when to go to bed, to bathe, to eat, to go to the bathroom, take some pills, see the doctor, answer questions and then being told you're wrong. Over and over again. Can you imagine?

Then one day someone, (well meaning and someone you love) puts a sweater on you or takes your arm again to take you in the opposite direction you were going and they say, "NO, not that way, this way." You hear the exasperation in their voice and it suddenly fuels your own, so you swat at them. Finally, some release from the anger, frustration, confusion and all the emotions you've been keeping bottled up because you weren't sure who you were anymore. Now all that is replaced with fury and lashing out. You focus on being obstinate, fighting back and being mean. All you want is to be left alone, "Who do they think they are. I'll show them...Don't touch me...Get away...and take this damn sweater with you! Maybe I'll take off my clothes, run outside and feel free again. Maybe I'll have a beer, maybe I'll eat that whole cake. When did I stop laughing?"

Can you imagine?
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Hye Miz...
I wrote a rambling post which isn't showing up yet ... oh my!
DId you see Sunny's post? Dementia Daughter?
Something to watch ...
Just noted your post is 4 hours ago ... forgive us on the West Coast.


Where's Jen?
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That is so awful to be fearful of your parent's rages!
I've seen the strength of it in a friend's mother with Alz.
Like a crazy person on Meth. Suddenly different ... Unknowing yet lashing out ine every direction! Your direction!
No reasoning ...

Teriifying strength that you can merely subdue & protect yourself from. Driven straight at you!
Causing wounds ...

Where is any happiness?
How do you all cope with it???

When you say you are grateful that some of us are here, on line ...
I find myself so helpless with what you are coping with ...
I want to help, yet feel helpless with you in your situation, dealing the best way you can!
I want to cofort each & all of you but
How???
My ears / eyes , reading posts don't seem enough ...

Do you think donating to Alz, PD charities would help? Where do we find them?
A hidden disease.
Like our new friend ... forgive me for not remembering your name, said ...
Quarantine sign on the door ~ or something to that effect.
It's not contagious. Love it!
But want to cry ...
Thats the mind set!
We now have awareness for HDAD, PSTD, OCD, ....Ok ... I could go on with the acronyms ... make some up!
what is hapening with Alz?

Y''all are silently caring for an extreme condition that has no real research that I'm aware of. If it's happenng, its not main stream that I know of.
The key word is Silent.

How can we silently "scream" while quietly doing our private daily deeds that over whelm us?

I saw Sunny pop up here yesterday .. Dementia Daughter. website.

I hope she creates a milestone & all those media types step up.
Dr Phil, Oprah, etc???
Get with it!
We are here & not going away. Every minute a valuable parent is declining.
We are Baby Boomers ... getiing older every day & dealing with our parents!
Wake up media!!!
Not some spoiled teenager with drug issues ...
but a persons / people who have raised solid families, provided education for their kids, lived thru the depression ... saved their money & did their best. & made life happen!
Aging away ... a;most forgotten.

Yet for us Now caring for parents who are disolving in old age ,,, forgotten except for us caregivers who still honor & care for them.
Sacrificing our time ... our lives ...

It's what we do.
Mary is ticked tonight ...
You are all too special to be ignored,

What hurts me is the thousands of peope who aren't as lucky as we are ... us who have stumbled across this website & made valuable forever friends.
Can vent or silly horrible daily events ... & have safety doing it.
Not always right, as I found last week .. simple slip for not really reading an agonizing post & trying to redirect ...

but we are the beginning of a new age of caregiving.
A place none of us thought we'd be in ... yet we are stuck.
parents & us doting kids.


Like I said ... how many thousands of isolated people around the world don't have this mind saving site? Suffering alone in their caregiving strife?
I feel so close to you all & never want to lose you ...

How can we reach & help the others out there alone & isolated?
Ted may have said it .. a reality program? TV? Now we have a man with 3 wives & a bunch of kids on mainstream TV. Haven't seen it but I love Little People Big World * the Little Couple.
Pit Boss is great on Animal Planet.
There is Kate Plus Eight ... Ted mentioned & joked aout.

Where is the
"Living at home with an Elderly Parent" show"?
Betcha there'd be lots of viewers watching at home when their parents were finally in bed ....
Bring in the cameras & producers!

Let their cameras follow a few days in our lives.
How many would wonder how close to home it might be ... we all did.

So Mary went wild again tonight, after putting dear Dad to bed.
He was such an important man is his industry!!!
A hero in many respects. The Army.
& I put him to bed now... despite his heroics & medals of valor that once held value ...
Yeah. Purple Heart, Bronze Star, some others too ... he achieved them all & more I can't remember. Hidden in a drawer. Those memories are sad for him, not proud.

I tuck his frail feet under the covers & make him feel safe ...
Another night of sleep he has ..

He loves when I share all my Grossed friend's adventures & other sad stuff! Appreciates your pain, doesn't love it ... mis word cares for you all.
Bobbie ... he might want to talk with your harbor master boy ...
it wouldn't be pretty if Sir got on the phone ...
but he would love Kitty & show her the ropes of a boat!

Hope I didn't offend or overlook anyone or anything. Just trying to think of the future people who will be here soon enough.
Trail Blaze some ideas.
Help every aging person ...

Cripes!!! Was I too long winded??? My screen went blank ... maybe a sign to shut up?
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yes, and we are lucky she is not stronger than she is. Otherwise we shall be full of bruises! you don't have an idea how she fights when we wash her.
I think violence is the normal progression of the disease. At least this is what many ladies told me, here
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Oh no!! She actually slaps them? Awww. Poor little girl. :(
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Yes, she slaps them. Daniela's daughter (5 years old) has learned she must not go too close to her.
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K, rossella. I will try. :) rossella, do the animals and children make her nervous? My mom is that way now too. It's really too bad.
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Miz try to see the good things of winter. Those sunny frisky days when air is clear and colours are beautiful. You are cold, you go into a café and drink a hot chocolate (or an eggnog).
It's almost as good as jumping into the sea when you are hot.-
Austin, I would like my mother to be so rational. She shoud wear socks, but she takes them off during the night. One of my cats would like to sleep with her, but she sends her away! She has no more patience with animals and children. It is a pity because she used to love them (animals and children, I mean). This is a nasty disease!
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"Its so true early morning and after dads in bed is the best time." nancy, I could not have said it better myself. You're not alone. :)
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rip, I feel the same way about my mom. Feel very alone now. Hubby wants to sleep and I'm tired but I'm not. Welcome to nancy & ddotel. Austin, I hate Winter too. I even hate Fall. Everything is dying and it's getting cold and all that. Give me the tropics any day or night. Aren't pets wonderful? Sometimes they are the bright spot in a day. Bobbie, how are you? Rossella, Linda, Pirate, everyone, love you all. You're my bright spots too.

love,
miz
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Are you new?
I love my dad so much but he still frustrates me daily.
Lord knows we never thought we'd be here ... but are. In the deepest depths of it!

Please keep sharing ....
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Its so true early morning and after dads in bed is the best time. Never figured it would wind up this way. Love my dad so much but it can be really trying at times. Thanks so much for all your comments. It helps to not feel alone in all this.
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I sure hope things get better for you does she wear socks to bed -I do when it is cold out it does help-wish I could share my warm bodied cat but he would cry if he was away from me-we bonded the first day I had him home even though when I asked him there if he would like to go home with me he seemed bored by it all. One of my mothers's cats brings a mouse up from the basement-sometimes alive and puts it is the tub while he takes a nap.
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Yes, Austin, maybe you are right. I could wait for a couple of days. I shall put more blankets on her and keep the stove closed if she does not want it open. But if the situation does not change, I see no other solution than moving everything around. With my mother, the problems never solve, they increase every day! So I am afraid she will not forget about the stove. We shall see... thanks
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Rosella she will probably forget all the drama about the stoce I have a wwod stove since the 70's I think when fuel oil was so high men in business suites were stopping along the road to get wood for their fireplaces so we got a stove that inserted into the fireplace and I am getting the chimmnet cleaned and bring in wood for it -it is so nice and cozy in that room and my husband had put fans in the fireplace so the warm air goes out into the rooms-I sure hopes she stays put in one room instead od moving all around hopefully she will forget about it and if she wants to move again say no a nurse I worked with took her father in and he would get up and add wood to the stove and caused a lot of problems but the worse was running outside naked she was mortified-it did not bother him in the least. I was thinking of a pellet stove but will keep the wood stove as long as I can-when we had dogs they were over the moon laying in front of it and my cat will probably also do fleu oil is getting expensive I am on a budget plan and have to keep the house warmer now but when alone turn it down-growing up we did not have heat upstairs so I was use to sleeping in a cool place and like it and my faithful friend snuggles under the blankets when I first adoped him after being in the shelter for a year he remembered how to lift the blankets up -but slept so close to the edge of the bed he would fall off. It is starting to get cold night here now-I hate winter but like not having to go into work early in the morning when the roads are bad-and slept many nights at the hospital so did not have the horrible drive home.
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I went to check on my mother. Gosh it's freezing cold in that room!
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Castoff, my mother and father were both "keepers", so when we had to clear the house of my parents in Rome, so that we could sell it and my mother could come live with me in this country house, my brother and I were frightened by what we would find. In fact there were thousands and thousands of useless things, three times of everything. For example, when my father went to buy a lamp, he came back with three lamps, just in case. (he had built a mezzanine which was as big as half apartment, and that mezzanine seemed Istanbul's bazaar)
My brother was very determined to clear the house soon, so that he could give my mother to me (HA), and he threw everything away without looking too much at what he was doing. I hope he did not throw anything important; I had to take care of the books (thousands) and I did a nice job, looking one by one and deciding about their destiny. He used the strategy of putting everything he found in big sacks and hop! to the garbage bin!
I have another story to tell tonight. A funny (? funny?) one. It is called "the pellet stove" and "Rossella the removal man".
Until one month ago, my mother slept in her bedroom, adjacent to the living room where we have the TV and the pellet stove. (logically). One month ago, she decided she did not want to sleep in that bedroom, alone, without TV. Therefore, the girls and I moved some pieces of furniture, among which a huge table with 100 framed photos on it, and we put that table in my mother's bedroom, and my mother's bed in the living room. So she could watch television. Tonight, another turn of the fate! She does not want to see the pellet stove because she does not like to see the flames. I tried to explain to her that if I switch off the pellet stove, we are going to be cold. Those of you who have an Alzheimer parent know that it's impossible to convince them about anything. After one hour of "Switch if off, switch it off, switch it off, switch it off", a merry singsong, I actually switched off the stove, because the alternative was to put her in the stove. She is happy now, in her cold room. I am in my room with my kerosene stove and I am very well. I put an extra blanket on her bed, and a blanket on her shoulders. But, unfortunately, real winter is coming soon and we can't throw away the pellet stove because she does not like it. (it cost a lot of money, by the way, but I am saving a lot of money of gas) So, as tomorrov my brother is coming, I have decided that he has to become a happy removal brother. We are going to put my mother's bed in her bedroom again; the big photoful-table (which is in my mother's bedroom, now) in the living room, again; the TV set in my mother's bedroom, and the hideous evil pellet stove will be all alone in the living room, so I shall be able to switch it on when my mother does not see it.
Shall we become crazy? Shall we become saints?
I know that this story will make many bells ring....
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ddotal welcome I think you will be very glad to be part of this crew-it saved my sanity any problems you have others have also you will get the plain truth not a lot of medicial jargon we are a family we laught and cuss and fight at times but at the end of the day we are there for each other and any time of night or day someone is there to offer love and support. Bobbie next time someone gets me po'd I tell them my friend Bobbie is commin down the Hudson so bug off she may have her leg in the air if so you better skaddle if you know what is good for you -and her cat will bite and scratch on demand-that is not true but they will not know that-New Yorkers think they are tough-not-you are a ray of sunshine in my day.
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I'm new to the group (hubby has AD) and right about now I'd really sail off ,too.
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had not have.
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Bobbie, How did Kitty Girl take the move?

Have any of you all gotten flu shots or flu shots for the ones you are caring for? Hubby and I got ours on Thursday at my work for free and Mom got hers yesterday. I hate shots and they gave them in front of other employees at my work. I closed my eyes and I know I have an awful look on my face. Kind of embarrassing.

Anyway, not sure what to do with myself today. It's gloomy out. Maybe we'll have a good thunder boomer. Love those.

love,
miz
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Bobbie, F that dockmaster!!!!! Little old men with little old.....egos that need stroking. GOD bless 'em real hard!!! I've been living in that realm most of my life. Reprobates have to make someone else miserable to make themselves feel better. Romans & Isaiah are 2 of my favorite BIBLE books....you can read & find out why. I thought I had escaped when I retired from my last employer....but no. Those who feel the need to "get a rise out of us".....GOD will be getting a "rise out of them" on our behalf at some point. Their choice. OK...I'm done & onto something else.
Ted, Passage? Hemlock Cruise? You are the new chief of puns. I gladly relinquish my title. LOL When mom got her second knee replacement the docs sent me home an 83 yr old junkie from the vicadin. That was big fun. I watched her eyes glaze over like a shark & she hissed at me like a snake. Love you too mom.
Rosella, You are soooo right. Even negative attention is good attention & she must be the center of all at all times. She is a hoarder & was probably angry with me for disposing of the trash. I come thru like a whirlwind & dispose of things her twisted little mind would NEVER think of "throwing away". How dare I clean up after her piggy self! Too bad mom, if I have to do this I'm not going to be held liable for your mess also! If I must work in this environment it will be in some order & clean. It took three years to clean up my dad's place so it could be sold and I still haven't caught up with her highness's crap! What a hateful thing to do to someone! I spend my whole life cleaning her whole life! She has saved it for me all the way back to 1940!!!! What a waste. I pray no parent ever do this to another child. Hoarders suck!
I too had to re-login....updates I suppose.
Oh well, hope all of you are having a lovely weekend & it gets better for all of us. Good days, bad days, good days.
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Hemlock Cruise ~ Great one, Ted!
have you hears about seniors who spend their golden years on cruises or living in hotels? Cheaper than nursing homes. Hope your computer is up soon. Mine have been very screwy lately ... dropping connections, etc.
Cats constantly on my lap doesn't help ... 3 just hopped on tp announce it's raining out.

Hey Bobbie ~ does the marina have live feed video? I'd love to see your interchanges with little dock man. From what you say you're moored in a high travel channel. Privacy sounds nice.
What a pain ~

So Kitty has learned some new word,s huh? She'll be cuss yeowing soon ,
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Mornin' Everyone. Sick & tired today. My parents made it to 69 years married. Can you imagine? She still misses him so much. I think by that time you're like part of one another or something. Bobbie, those people you're dealing with at the docks are weanies. I hate practical jokes like that or whatever they are. People that get their jollies out of making someone else suffer or go through shit they should not have to. People can be such ass holes. Pardon my French. Foul mouth today I guess. Pirate, so glad you're back. Love to you all. Sandy is better. A runny eye and sneezing. Is taking antibiotics. Gonna go lay down. BTW, I'm all for "when you wanna go, you oughta be able to go." if you know what I mean. Animals are not made to suffer by loving humans. Anyways, talk to yas later.

love,
miz
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Hey guys, just checking in quick on my way to the post office to pick up the bills,
Jsomebody, you're right about the over-med thing. When I got mom back from the nursing home she was addicted to heavy doses of tracedone and had a broken vertebrae and a broken hip. It was a bitch getting her off the stuff.
Kuli i don't think that story was sad, I agree with Rossella, it was brave and beautiful.
Rip, Where can I book passage (pardon the pun) on the Hemlock Cruise?
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Oh, and there was no 'big' boat. It was a joke. he was just wanting to get a 'rise' out of me.
I really despise people who are such a mess themselves that they think they have to keep other people 'on their toes'
oh please.

It's the human equivalent of poking something with a stick.

life is way too short.

lovbob
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