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Reading your posts I wondered why you were so much against cold turkey. If you eat meat, in general they advise you to eat poultry and fish! Then I had some doubts, I googled it and I understood!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I remember when I cold turkeyed with smoke, 20 years ago. I was a furious beast for months. I roared against everybody, whatever they told me, even if they told me "Good morning". I had visions of the saints smoking in the corridors!
With time I got used to it and I took 10 kilos (20 lbs) of weight, just eating candies (and I never lost that 20 lbs!)
And after 1 year and a half I restarted smoking (and never stopped since)
When I was young I drank a lot and smoked and I liked men.
I have only the smoke, now, and gallons of coffee (it is my gasoline). I take pills against high pressure, in order to neutralize the effects of coffee and smoke. In fact, there is some blood in my coffee and some pieces of lungs in my cigarettes... I don't know if I am going to live a long life, I know I could not sleep an average of 4 hours a night if I were not helped by some stimulant, and I can't afford cocaine. (I'm joking of course)
Anyhow, your posts made me smile and seriously, we have to take good care of ourselves. I hope this winter I find the time to go to the swimming pool, because this is really very very good for my lungs and my back! I love swimming. I love water in general.
Deefer, if I have understood your husband is safe! I am so glad! You must be so relieved!
Tenn, if you are on a diet, why does little Tenn have to stop eating ice creams? You have to be brave and watch your young daughter eat all the rubbish she wants to eat, at her age!!!!!
Love you guys
I go to work, now!
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tennessee, how awful! Please tell her that we're all thinking about her! I don't know which is worse, someone lingering or it being a total shock. Maybe better, for them, to go fast. That's how I want to go. I don't want to linger.

jen, you go girl! I think you should've played twice!

Y'all are so funny about your coffee! I've never drank it & don't even like the smell of it. Smells burnt to me. I know! There are those of you who think I'm crazy! Maybe...OK, probably! Just give me a glass of Quik chocolate...very cold! I guess I'm still a kid at heart. lol Not even drinking it since the UT problem! Too much caffine. One day soon, though I'm gonna mix a whole container of Quik in a gallon of milk & add a straw...YUM!

UT problem update...the new med hasn't worked so I called the doc today & they changed the med AGAIN...I'm about to the point that I can open my own pharmacy from the leftovers that didn't work. I told them that I don't mean to be impatient, but that I'm tired from not sleeping good for over 5 weeks now & she said that it should have worked by now if it was going to. I've just started the newest one so we'll see...

Went to the new shrink today. No disrespect intended, but she was foreign & VERY difficult to understand! She put me back on Effexor during the day & Remeron (sp?) at night. The Remeron is an anti-depressant that's supposed to make me sleep at night, but I don't ever think that she understood that I'm not sleeping at night because I'm having to get up 10-12 times a night to pee!!! Plus she said that it has a MAJOR side effect of weight gain! Really? Do we want me to go there again?!?! Still?!?! She said that we'd deal with the weight gain after my depression gets better...Don't think she understood that the reason I'm SO depressed is because of my husband's illness & our finances...Something that's not just gonna change overnight! Something that's not gonna change until he passes & then we have a whole other situation to deal with...AND can you believe that she told me today that I need to go ahead & put him in a NH?!?! I told her that isn't an option at this time...husband is way too lucid & still to mobile for that right now...she told me that if I don't do it now that I'll die of stress before he does of the PD. What have I gotten myself into?!?! Another situation of no money, no insurance...! And the bad thing is that right now it's the best that I can do! The good news is that the yeast infection is feeling better this afternoon! yeah! Celebrate wherever you can!

Hope everything's going fine for everybody today!
Thanks for listening! And for caring! Love y'all!
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Sad news about the caregivers hubby...my condolences!

Gotta have my coffee...it's my jumpstart to the day!

We all got to have our vices, if it gets you through the drudgery...once it's over you can begin the repair job on one's self...at least that's what I am planning to do. Go to the gym and loose weight and travel!!!!! Enjoy myself for a change in my life without my parents evil tongues waggin at 'naysaying'....they hated it when I traveled to anywhere...always had some comment. I think they wanted to keep me close to home to make sure their investment of caregiving would not get hurt in an accident or anything or just jealousy.
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Got my fix today, TOOK A DOLLAR without asking, yes well it IS October and I am supposed to get my monthly hundred bucks...went and walked down to 7 11 and bought a lottery ticket. That IS my fix. Don't smoke, drink, pop pills, binge much, hate coffee but understand why people need it...Some days I wish i could get drunk. So I waste what little lolly I have left after paying my health insurance and prescription and trying to pay mom back if I owe for doctors or cab..why I should have to pay for a cab to my doctor because I have to bring fart pants with me is beyond me, I can take the bus, make him pay for the cab! what the hell ever. Know your limit, ten bucks a month is all I can afford, and I don't plan on not doing it, if that is a Gambling Addiction So What. if I don't have something to look forward to I will go bug house...
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oh noooooo. thats terrible to come home and find hubby dead ! thats my biggest fear ! escsialy dad this morning !
oh tenn i know smoking is bad for me , ive smoked all my life and without it im bad ! i tried it and it made my life mirrisable , im a biggest monster ever without my ciggy .
maybe ya shall have a half cup of coffee to get u off the edge , u will start to get headache and become a biggest monster ever ! cold turkey isnt my thing , i cant handle it .
few puffs pls then a drop of coffee plz , then next thing ya know ure happy camper woo!
bought me french roast coffee beans , am gonna try that out in a bit . maybe i ll zoom around and get my house work done in 15 mins . i havent done anything today ! hubby be home in 15 mins . oh wait a min i did take care of dad this morn and just got back from store . so i did do something . :-)
gotta try that coffee out and hope ill get a hellva buzz from it so i ll get dishes done in 15 mins ??
will let ya know .... xoxo p.s. it smells good , perkin and smells good !
im sorry tenn . i shouldnt be rubbin it on ya . tell ya what ill drink one for ya , hows that ? xoxoox
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What's homegirl growing on your property?

lovbob
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On the way to the store I saw my best paid caregiver helper,so I pulled over to say 'hi,'.She wasn't looking as good as she usually does,so I asked her if everything was alright.She told me she walked in and found her husband dead a bout 2 weeks ago.It made me feel rotten, I didn't go to the funeral.She said ,he told her that night he was feeling good.She takes care of a lady at night and came in thinking he was sleeping.She said it was pretty aweful. I think he was about 62 years old.He didn't smoke or drink,but he was over weight.She said he showed no visible signs-no pains.She did say he was huffing and puffing more with his breathing.
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Back from my vitiman run.I hope Dollar store vitimans are o.k. Couldn't afford the GNCs'. I got all the Bs the C-ZINC-FOLIC ACID-E-A and D-CALCIUM-IRON and fiber tabs.Well, that should be a start.Deefer, I have to quit cold turkey,I'm a cold turkey kind of person.The Doc said to radically change my life style,so extreme it is.I tried to get my dad to drink decaff. I dumped the decaff in a regular coffee jar. He looked at me and said,'You think I'm stupid don't you,I know the difference.'I personally drank the coffee for the coffee buzz.Linda and Miz, I HATE to tell you this but smoking is bad for you.You do have to want to quit though.Food is my main vice,Bobbie, remember how much I like to eat.Yogurt and rabbit food will become my life--for a while.Lil Tenny is scared she'll never see ice cream again. Anyone know how long it takes to get over coffee addiction. I feel a little on edge,I would like to slapp that 5oo million dollar squatter woman.That would make me feel better:)
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Well it turns out the lady at the Driver's License place didn't know what she was talking about. The total fees for my sticker and changing my name was about $114.00. MUCH better than the almost $200.00 I thought I was going to have to pay. Wow, some things do go right now and then. ;)
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As my mama has said, everyone needs at least one vice. :)
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Good Morning Ladies,

Deef... we're all sayin a prayer for you and your husband.
Miz! thas right... sorry for no coffee for Tenny.
Linda:
French Roast beans, freshly ground and put through a French Press. Darker the bean the less caffiend and acidity. If I drink folgers I get the acid stomach and the jitters.

I don't chase men, drink excessively (and after mom's birthday I haven't had any. Too much for me) or play the horses anymore. I gotta have something!

lovbob
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oh miz , it be wonderful if we could meet one day . maybe we shall travel together to getin bobbie s boat . some day we will ,
pa is prob awake now . i kept ckin up on him and for a min it looks like he wasnt breathing , i got closer and whew he took a deep breath and zzzzzzzzz , damn i think he did quit breathin for a min there .
scary feeling . i m gonna go wake him up and lethim know b fast is ready woo ,
damn my shoulder is aching , prob from hangin on to pa . dont want him to fall on th efloor , gotta hang on to him real tight . ahhhh ,
bye bye for now xoxo
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Right, Linda. And the problem is being able to get away, as you know.
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cant afford to take a vacation if theres no pay . . what makes them t hink u can enjoy it with no money ?
i like getting paid for not workin for 2 weeks . i miss those . quit my job few yrs ago and i havent had a vacation yet . sux !!!

oh tenn , deffer is right , cant go cold turkey ! decaf coffee is wonderful too , my gfriend drinks those kind , says cant tell the diffrents , but i can tell the diffrent cuz i know it has no caffine , lol
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Linda, you're so funny. You crack me up. I hope we get to meet someday. :)
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So we had a staff meeting yesterday to discuss vacation and furlough time. I have to take two weeks of furlough, unpaid of course and the boss told me that even though I'm part time and don't get benefits that I could take two weeks of unpaid vacation. I thought that was nice of her but a vacation from there is no vacation for me. Sorry. Whining again.

love,
miz
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Ohhh I get it. No coffee for tennessee. :(
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Tennessee, Don't go cold turkey an the coffee! I do half regular and half decaf when I brew. Dennis and I both can't do a lot of caffeine. Him, irregular heartbeat, me RLS, rapid pulse, etc. But cutting back to I/2 and 1/2 makes a big difference, and we can still have our coffee! Do decaf the rest of the time. Also, watch for caffeine in soda and chocolate we tend to get more of it that way. As for the weight! That's why I started Weight Watchers this spring. I was at the heaviest I have been in my life and that was just from the winter! No more! Still stressed and all, but feel better with the exercise and better food choices.
Miz, sorry you are still feeling down:( Wish we could help! HUGS?!!
My husband still has his job after the first day with the new owner, but his boss called the house last night, and he does not have a job. So, I think Dennis will be hearing about more people not having a job during the day today. It looks like most of management will be gone. That's common when a business is taken over, and we knew that would happen. He thinks each of them will be spoken to individually today, so I'm waiting on pins and needles for him to call with an update. I can tell you, I'm not sorry his boss is gone! Big bucks and never did his job! My husband will be happy to work for a real professional.
Bobbie, we're getting all the rain from from that tropical storm up here in Ma. My pool water looks to be about 6 or more inches higher! Making up for all the rain we didn't get all summer, in one day! Bad thing is the wind. It's knocking off all the beautiful fall leaves!
Got to tend to Mom. Hope everyone has a brighter day today.
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Linda, me too!! Think about the boat. Not that dang black hole!! :))
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tenn ,, yes i agree about a woman dr . i ve always felt comfertable with a woman dr cuz she too is a woman and knows what a woman s pain feels . male doc they dont understand cuz theyre not a woman . i had a male dr which is my kids and husbands dr . he and i dont get along , he has a thing for going against ciggy , he gave me shitty attiude once about my cig smokin . i thought screw him i dont like him anymore now .
i woke up feelin body ache , shit what now ?? more coffee pls , i want bobbie s coffee , she said her kind makes u wanna paint a barn . now thats the kind i wanna slurp on , yummie . she told me once what kind it was but done forgot what it was . so i perked up folgers and instance aldi s brand , mix er up . but i havent had the urge to wantin to paint a barn yet . lol
took pa s urine to the lab yesterday . ugh no infection , what the hell ! piss smells up the whle house . ah i dont know . well its good that it shows no infection .
miz ,, glad u didnt fall into the black hole , i see mine wayoverthere but i dont dare to get near it , i just wanna jump into bobbie s boat . :-) xoxox
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bobbie, you're out of coffee??!! OMG!!
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NO COFFEE!?!?!?!
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Tennessee, I know what you mean. My blood pressure is higher, I'm smoking more. Not exercising. Battling my weight. You're right. We're all going through our own personal combat...some worse than others. I lost my sense of self too. Wow, tennessee, your post is brilliant.

love,
miz
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Hey everybody,I was at the doctor yesterday. I guess I'm another statistic on how caregiving[and lawsuits,in my case] destroys your body and health.The stress gets you from the inside out.I've gone to the same lady doctor for about 25 years,so she knows me pretty well.She was very supportive and understanding of the whole process,particularly the caregiving-she was in disbelief with my brothers and the lawsuit as were alot of people.She would have supported me in court if I ever made it there.Unlike alot of doctors,she's a nice normal person,who cares,she even laughs at my dumb jokes-I find alot of doctors have no sense of humor,but she does. I usually perfer girl doctors,they usaully listen better.I had to look at my weight in writing and that was uncomfortable,so there is no denying it now.I know ya'll are all aware that stress brings on weight gain.It goes back to at our age we need to be taking better care of ourselves,but with children,sick husbands, and aging parents and the added stress of no account siblings,we are last on the list.Maybe that is why the good die young .All of my tests were bad so ,she wantsme to try to be who I once was,and excercise and do everything right.I cannot even identify who I once was ,much less be her again.People don't come back from combat the same people as they were when they go in. Caregiving is like long term combat,unless you have help,relief and reinforcements. I would like to see my child grow up with a mom,so I'm going to try to change things around.First change is no coffee this morning-D@mn. We caregivers need our own vet hospitals-don't we?
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"I did not find". Sh*t! It's five o' clock in the morning for me - getting crazy on this stupid translation
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Tks. I found the expression, I did not found the explanation
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I Googled it and didn't find anything either. :(
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I asked hubby and he doesn't know either.
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Thanks for trying. Any husband/boyfriend awake?
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I'm really tired. Bad day. Good Night, Dear Ones.

love,
miz
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