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rip, aw, sweetie, I know how much you loved Hawkeye! Maybe it will bring you comfort having him so close. I hope so! Sand blasting monuments? You never cease to amaze me at your talents! Yep, broken toe...hobbling right along! Whole side of my foot is black & blue. It'll heal. Don't realize how important your little toe is until it's compromised! OUCH! Anyway...

deef, you're more than welcome! Anytime! Everything's gonna be ok! Keep us posted, ok? I'd like to know about the diapers for future reference, if you don't mind.

BGB, vent on Baby! That's what we're here for! deef's right that the Dollar Tree is a great place to get all of those kinds of products! They even have a cleaner that's called Awesome that is, well, awesome!

miz, how's the dark hole today?

tennessee, I'm sorry & I wish I could make it better for you! My heart goes out to you!

COSTCO? If you guys can't get out of there for less than $200 I know that I definately don't need to darken their door! lol

I'm sorry if I missed anybody! I do send hugs to ALL of you!
Hope everybody will have an easy night!
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Hi everybody. My telephone line has been cut for a week (and, as a consequence, I could not use Internet) because I had not paid the last bill. I called the telephone company every day, begging and begging and using every possible strategy- At last, a very nice young man decided to connect me again even if I have not paid the bill yet. This is a very difficult period for me, as far as $ is concerned, and I am working like crazy to climb the hill again. I spent the last hour to read your posts of the last week and I would like to give my contribution to the digging of the black hole... We are here to vent, right? I am going to super-vent!
My mother has gotten very anxious lately. We discovered she had an UTI, we treated the UTI, I started to give her a Seroquel in the afternoon... But, as always, I see a problem when it comes, but I do not understand immediately what it really is. I focused and now I have the answer!
My mother does not like to stay with me, in the evening. She is so well with the two women who take care of her during the day. They have families. so she spends the whole day among people, who chat and laugh. She comes back home at 6.30 (p.m) and she finds an exhausted daughter who sleeps too little, who is constantly tired, who has spent all day looking for a way to find money to get out of this mess. And she simply does not want to stay with me. She asks the lady who takes her home, to go with her, to go to sleep at her house. For the first half an hour I am kind and I tell her "you have been all day among people, you can stay home with me for a few hours. Then you'll go to bed and tomorrow, you will have another good day with your friends". After half an hour of her complaining and wanting to escape from my house I snap and I become disagreable. I know, I know, I know it's not her fault. Her brain does not work anymore. It hurts like hell that I am dedicating my life to her, that I give her 90% of my spare time, and if I do not have spare time, I find it, and I sleep even less in the night to work and make up for the time lost. I work a lot so that we do not go live under a bridge. I work for myself, for my animals, but for her, too, so that she has the essential things, her good dessert after dinner, her ice cream in the cafés, her rides in the car - to pay the salary of the ladies she loves so much. And what I have in exchange, is a person who loathes to be with me. I have understood that I have no more the right to have feelings, emotions. Everything has to pass through the brain. No more feeling just thoughts. I MUST NOT be hurt if my mother rejects me. I MUST be rational, at any time, at all costs. During my worst moments I feel guilty toward her because I do not have a family with which she can enjoy herself. I feel a loser because I have no kids, no husband, just an empty house for her, poor woman. I am sorry that my performances in life are not enough for her. And, of course, during my moments of rage, I think WHAT THE HELL! She has always been quite selfish, even when she was younger and normal. When I tell her: "well, if you do not want to live with me, you can go to a nursing home", she understands and she says "No, no, I want to stay with you, I love you so much". So, this makes me even more furious, because this means that she has a part of the brain which works very well and when she feels the danger of complaining too much, she stops complaining. Nevertheless, she spends all the night sat in front of the TV and she does not tell me anything, because she is angry with me, as I don't let her stay with her "friends".
What was the first post of this thread? AWWWW LORD!
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Hey all...

Hope everyone had a good day. deefer sorry about that crappo coming down for your husbands employ I hope something goes well some how! You are right about the dollar store, it isn't all cheap no name brand stuff it is close out from other places so you can get really good stuff for a buck...

I had the MRI, was OK, strange, loud weird noises...but that is done, we shall see.

All is well with grandpa so he is GOING to Adult Day Health this FRIDAY! We shall see.....
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BGB, Not sure where you live, but look up Dollar Tree. The store has everything for $1 ! Paper towels, tissues, lotions, shampoos, body wash, body powder, Etc. I go there for all those things for Mom. As for diapers, order them online from a medical supply house. Cheaper by the case and much better quality. If you are interested, I let you know what brand and where to order them. Free shipping too!
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COSTCO, I CAN NEVER COME OUT OF THAT STORE WITHOUT SPENDING LESS THAN $200.00 DEPENDS, ENSURE, BACON,EGGS,GRITS, AND PAPER TOWELS, PAPERS TOWELS SHE WON'T USE CLOTH HANKIES BETWEEN HER AND THE CAREGIVER THEY HAVE A THING FOR PAPERTOWELS. I FIND THEM IN THE SIDE OF THE CHAIR THE BED AND IN BOTH OF THEIR POCKETS. I USE TWO ROLLS A WEEK THAT A LOT WHEN YOUR TALKING ABOUT COSTCO PAPER TOWELS. AND DON'T FOR GET THE WASHING POWDER AND ALL THAT GOOD STUFF,THAT SHE HAS TO HAVE EVERY MONTH TO MAKE SURE HER BODY STAYS CLEAN AND WELL OIL, THE FOOT CREAMS AND THE LIST GOES ON,
EVERY TIME I SEE SOMETHING I WANT IN THERE I NEVER HAVE THE MONEY BECAUSE OF THESE THINGS I NEED EVERY MONTH. JUST VENTING
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Egads, we are a sorry bunch! Broken toe? Kaye, girlfriend ... what to do - what to do ~

Back from Costco over $200 lighter. Enough food & papergoods for a while. Keeping Sir in Kleenex is a major expense.
I always enjoy my local Costco. Both staff & customers. It's like we are all in this huge, bewildering place together. My friend since kindergarten worked there over the holiday season. They worked her ass off. If they had good part time shift's I think I'd have fun.

Came home to a message that Hawkeye's cremains are ready to pick up. Ouch ...
I really should try to set up the sandblaster again ~ make some formal memorial tombstones.
For such a born loner I'm sure getting tired of doing stuff solo lately.
well ... excuse me kitties & puppies ... you are always nearby. *I just don't think they're up to moving the air compressor or bags of silica. Like Dad, if they hear me whine they'll want to help.

Where is my motovation??? I am wearing out this chair!
Y'all are habit forming.

Rockette's scratching again. Had her bath a couple days ago & the stupid fleas are at her again.
Blended up some dry oatmeal & baking soda today. Rubbed the powder onto her back & it seems to have helped.
Now, to flip her over & dust her stomach.
Hopefully it will soothe & dry the moisture which the fleas thrive on.
We'll see!

Later gang!
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Thanks for the kind words everyone. Don't know what we would do without each other!
Linda, Kids! Don't you just love them to death!!!
Tennessee, Sorry for your bad memories and hard times. I hope things will get better for all of us soon.
Kaye, Thanks again for listening!
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Kathy, we're still keeping our fingers crossed that your husbands job will be safe! Keep us posted! We're here for you! I'd still call the doc's office & ask them about the charge, especially since he cancelled 3 times!!! See if they'll write if off or discount it.

Linda, hope you're husband's job will be safe too!

miz, you too! People are so dumb...they think that keeping laying people off is the answer to the economy, but until people loosen the purse strings & start hiring things will get worse, not better!

jen, how did your test go?

castoff, glad that you're Mom's cousin is ok! That's wonderful! I understand what you're saying about it not being a blessing to have longevity in your genes! I'd be outta here on the first train if I didn't have to do it myself! I know that sounds bad, doesn't it!

Mary, how are you today? Sorry I have mised you the last couple of days. How is Sir?

Bobbie, are you feeling better?

UTI update...Still here, per the hospital, but they did call me in another antibiotic yesterday...the FOURTH...& they made me an appt. at the urologist office for tomorrow. Another bill I can't afford, but have no choice! Got up 8 times last night...it's getting really old!!!

Met with the new depression doctor's office yesterday for an intake session. Several hours worth...even had to do a drug test! Still on the Pyridium so I passed with flying colors...sunset piss, remember?!?! lol Meet with the actual docotr on Friday so maybe she'll put me on another anti-depressant. I think I scared them yesterday. The therapist that did my initial consult wanted to know if I'd go check myself into the hospital because she said it would take 3-4 weeks to see the doctor & I didn't need to be off of the med for that long. I told her that wasn't an option since I have to care for my husband so somehow they got me an appt. for Friday. Go figure!

Did something else stupid last night...stubbed my pinky toe & broke it! When it rains it pours!

Good news, I got an email from our youngest today that was really good & positive!!! We haven't had a good relationship in a long time & she reached out to us! THAT was a blessing!!!

tennessee, SS, angie, Pirate miss you guys & hope all is ok!

Love you guys & hope all is well today! Thanks for being there!
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Sorry deefer,hope everything will turn around for you soon.My Insurance didn't pay for colon test either. I have a doctors test thurs.,makes me nervous,Just now paid off the last visit.Today is the aniversary of my mates death,so I'm in a funk.It was a beautiful day just like today when he passed.He would be so disappointed in our family if he were around as would my dad.I can't seem to get much done,just looking at pictures with the 'WHAT IF'S' going on.Don't know why he had to die-he was too young.
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oh mygosh deefer ! that doesnt sound good at all . i sure hope in lord s name that he keeps his job or something betters comin at his way . i am so sorry ..
i too worry about my hubbys job , hope it stays put . they laid off bunch people but hasnt told my husband if hes next or what .
yes tell me about the hospital bills and dr bills , ins sucks , theyre suppose to pay 80 percent but i feel like its half and half .
try not to worry so much , sometimes we worry so much over nothing . it hasnt came yet so no worry , worry when the day finaly comes .
daughter called crying needin 900 dollars for repairing her car . says her car is falling apart , great . trie dto tell her not to buy a new car ! high car payment and now bam shes gotta have 900 to fix her car ! if she had kept her other car cheaper payment well she wuld have extra money in her pocket . ahh zip my mouth zipp zipp .
have a good day you all xoxoox
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Well everyone, could be bad news for my husbands job. Current owners and new owner have not spoken to the employees yet, but they found and article in the Cape Cod Times, about the new owner closing his former dealership. He said that the majority of his 20 employees were going to relocate at the new dealership! Although where my husband is, is a much larger dealership and now employs over 40 people, this odes not bode well for many. My husband just turned 62, so...... we just might be screwed!!! If he loses his job, it will be awful hard to find another in this economy, at his age.
I have no idea what we will do if that happens.Another of life's little challenges. Oh, did I mention that I got a bill for $1500 for my colonoscopy? Yeah! That's right! The new health insurance doesn't count it as a wellness thing! not only that, the original doctor canceled 3 appointments for it while i was on an insurance that would have paid for the procedure.
I always said, " If I didn't have bad luck, I wouldn't have any!"
I surely hope the rest of my friends here are having a better day than I.
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Goodmorn all,

Mom called last night & good news. Her cousin was released from hosp. same day after the stroke. Mom said she spoke to her & the voice was a little raspy but was articulate. Wow, that was a fast recovery!!!!! Pretty good for 93!!!
One of mom's nurses once told me I came from good stock. Yeh well, I don't really want to live that long on this earth so I don't consider that a blessing. If I can be of some value to the world OK, but if I become a chore....no way.

We have an all day rain here today so it's inside work for me. Maybe I'll clean up this cluster f___ we call an office. That'll keep me out of trouble.

Stay out of those holes ladies. Pit free days to all!!!!!!
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K, night everyone. I'm tired. Sweet dreams. :))
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Thanks Miz! I feel the same way. Good or bad, it is what it is and we have to deal with it as best we can.
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deefer, I will pray that your hubby's job is safe. I tend to adhere to the belief that everything happens for a reason but sometimes that's hard to believe, isn't it?

love,
miz
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Three people got canned where I work today, maybe four if the lady decides she doesn't want the replacement job they offered her. Pretty scary stuff. I hope my job is safe. We really need my income. Badly. Everybody does, I know. Oh well, what was that Doris Day used to sing? Que Surah? Really I would hate to lose that job. I may have another choice at the beginning of the year. We'll see.

love,
miz
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As for myself, it's CRS Syndrome. ;)
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ah ... Like Driving HUA.
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HUTAS:

Head Up The A$$ Syndrome

lovbob
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oh man, I never thought about the webs....

that's what the genetic engineering guys are going to say about stuff in a few years.

Cast, you are funny!

Raining cats and dogs and I think there was a goat in there somewhere. We added 4 lines from the boat to the dock for a total of 7.
We are now literally tied 7 ways to Sunday.

Linda, people sux. HUTAS. It's a disease. buncha people with hutas.

Everybody I love you.

lovbob
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Happy Monday all, sorry it takes awhile to catch up,
Rip, Sounds like your rose was grafted and your friend pruned back to the host plant. Katsura tree sounds lovely. I envy your rain forrest environment there. I looooove green & misties. Hope to visit your national parks there soon. Hub & I have planned on moving out west Wyoming/Montana/Idaho for some time but mom could not make the trip. Hub says he would have to kick one of us out of the vehicle before SDakota. LOL. "You two are like two cats in a box!" I can't argue with him about that.
Thanks for the link to the Hyak hummingbirds. You do have the rufus. We have the ruby throat & they go to Florida. You would think we would take the hint too.lol

Linda, Sorry your reunion was unpleasant. The relatives may have gotten scared when your pa asked for his momma. Folks run from that which they can't understand. If they aren't caregivers they truely don't get it & won't get it unless they find themselves in the midst of it. They just don't know & can't comprehend. That's the real shame of this. If we knew what caregiving was all about upfront from those who know......we wouldn't be so lost when we become caregivers. That's why this forum is SO VERY VALUABLE!!!!!! But no one wants to learn the hard/painful lessons.

Miz, Thanks for the ear info. The doc cleans mom's ears for her & I think I'll stop using the Qtips so much on myself.

Bobbie, 8 legged turkeys. That's all good but can you imagine the webs????? They'd be enormous!!!!

Mom's cousin had a stroke this morning. Mom sounded scared on the phone (more for her own mortality) but I assured her that folks rebound from strokes all the time. Her cousin moved back to our state from Cal. last year but every time I ask mom if she wants to visit she comes up with an excuse not to. They were so close when they were younger, I don't understand why she is stand-offish. Oh well.
Looks like I'm going to get in all my gardening in the fall this year. 60% off sale at the nursery & I bought even more for our yard & the park too. I make plenty of work for myself & don't need assistance to make me more. LOL. I made the mistake of telling hub that they had mugo pines and that's all it took. Ha Ha. I should have kept my mouth shut!!!! Lots more to plant this week & lots more aleve to take after.
Love & best to all.
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Rip, He buys and sells stuff on there. Does pretty well at it too. :)
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Hey Guys, nothing yet here, hope things are going better for you all....

Not sure about the advice on the new posts: The daily Ask.. "Don't listen to anyone here..." I am sure they mean as legal recourse and microview stated he/she has a legal background, but that sounded harsh...
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Yay, Patti ~
What's important on Ebay? We need each other!
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Husband is back to work after week of vacation. Not much news on the business takeover. He just called and said they are waiting for all the paperwork to go through. It was supposed top be set for today, but now it's up in the air again. So we still don't know if he will have a job or not. Where is that black hole? Move over, I may be joining you!
Mom is out of it today. She slept on her arm this morning and woke up with it swollen down to her fingertips. She also had a small fluid blister on the underside of her arm.
If she is no better tomorrow, I'll have daycare get a urine and call the doctor. They'll even drop it at the lab for me.
Like I said. It's a crap shoot from one day to the next. When they can't tell you if anything is wrong, it's a guessing game. If she could come up with the right words, she could tell me how she is feeling. But the words get all mixed up now.
Where's that BOAT?!!!
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I know, Linda. I just kicked him off e-bay to come on here. ;)
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miz !!! no wonder ure depressed ! hubby stealing ur computer to watch movies , waaaaaaa i would be whiney whiney , its like stealing ur best friend waaaaa.

bobbie ,, happy birthday to ur mommy . wish i were there to help u drink that speical beer , yummie , when is tenn gonna come back down there ? maybe u could rent a car and go visit her ?
is there anytime soon nik be joining you on the boat ? soon i hope . u sure need a real human hugs and kisses . bless your heart . u have been away from ur hubby too long .
ok housework time . just didnt have the enegry to do anything . dad said his back hurts i said so is mine . we both pop a painpill and now hes sleeping and im gonna zoom n clean .
you all have a happy smiling monday . xoxo
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Linda, that really sucks that they left you at the reunion. So selfish. Makes me want to bust their chops. ;) You're right about smiling. I have heard that if you act like you are cheerful you will become cheerful. Sometimes it works and sometimes if doesn't, damn it.
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I'm here sweet Linda. Hubby has been watching netflix movies by connecting the computer to our new flat screen tv, sooo...I can't get on-line when he's doing that. I am pulling myself up out of that black hole I think. Still down. Thank you for your concern, GP. :) Weekend was just about getting by and getting through it. I know that so many of you have it worse than I do. I guess it's my chronic depression and length of no freedom and other stuff that adds to my darkness. I'm trying to think up stuff to say in my articles and will just have to force myself to start writing. Thanks everyone for being here. GP, I hope you feel better soon. Linda, I still need to read about your family reunion. I can only imagine one with my family. Food fight!!!!! LOL. Love yas. We'll get through all this together.

love,
miz
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Hello dear Ladies,

I am here on the boat. The last few days have been hard. Yesterday was mom's bday and she would have been 90 and I have been missing her and my daddy and crying and generally being a weepy mofo.

Other than that and the fact that I celebrated mom's bday by drinking a bunch of Coronas with limes shoved down the neck, I am almost ok, just hungover.

You guys are in my thoughs constantly and I hope today is not too stressful.

lovbob
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