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I love New Years. I go to bed early, so it isn't about the fireworks, but it's the week I clean out the old (I am running out of things to put on the curb now I have so drastically downsized). It's a fun week for me. As to resolutions: I do them half-heartedly and usually fail. Here are mine.1. Be more kind to N. My partner's a political junkie, and comes to me with story after story. I HATE politics and avoid them like a plague, so I stop him short almost every time; I beg, I plead. And still I cannot stop him. Instead I will endeavor to just listen more this year. He pleads "I have no one ELSE to TELL" (which is untrue: He tells his oldest daughter, then his youngest, then his grandson and then his best friends at a weekly lunch. Still. I must be more kind.)2. Be more kind in general. I am abrupt. I call it honest. But one member here suggested that I am like the abusing husband who claims "I did it for her own good"; and she had a REAL POINT there.3. Proofread my posts. I won't. And whether it's age or inability, re-reading posts has proven an embarrassment. This is the single resolution I am CERTAIN to fail.4. Try to let go of worry. Ha. Yeah. THAT'S likely to happen.

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I'm trying to let go of worry too. That's a hard one for me.

But...........worrying really doesn't do anything except make you
mentally and physically ill. So, yeah, gonna try to stop that.

I worry I won't be able to. LOL
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I sure hope 2025 is better for all of us .
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I wish you all HEALTH for the new year, for you and for yours.

If health is there, then I know you all to be capable of handling everything else.
I so appreciate this Forum and all here. I love the diversity of your wisdom and I appreciate the INDIVIDUALITY of your advice, your hearts, your minds. I am so very fond of you all.
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Thank You Nacy!
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It is already the New Year 2025 many places in the world.

I resolve to make no resolutions or new rules to follow.
I will make no rules for others, and no rules for me.

Life already has enough rules and regulations.

Happy New Year everyone!

May 2025 be the year that sets you free!
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No real resolutions per se. However, I realized that its been a year since I have been on AgingCare forum! I went back yesterday and re read my original posts and the answers to them, from Dec 2023. I realized that I have come a LONG way since then, and thanks to the input from you all!

I am in a much better place than I was in Dec 2023 and have learned a lot. There is more improvement to do, but its nice to reflect on the progress and learnings of the past year!
Best wishes to all for a good 2025!
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Thank you all for your stopping-smoking advice! I am kind of the "all-or-nothing"-type, so last time when I managed to quit for some years I just stopped midday, cold turkey. But that was 15 years ago, and the long-term addiction and effects on my older body might increase the withdrawal cravings now.

When I quit drinking I allowed myself the comfort of alcohol-free Martini (I called it my "Methadini"), and at first I really, really needed it to calm down at wine-o'-clock (I should add as a warning that I never was a full-blown alcoholic in the sense of having been physically dependent, otherwise this method could have turned out rather badly!!!). About a month in I increasingly forgot about the substitute and since then have not used it anymore.

@ lealonnie
Your vaping-method might work similarly like "Methadini". Maybe I'll try it, thank you so much!
@Anxietynacy
I had to google/translate "cream of tartar". Did you mix it with the orange juice, or take it dry? Sounds very interesting, and even if it should just be a placebo any help is welcome!

Wishing you all a peaceful New Year's Eve and a healthy & joyful 2025!
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I'm hoping and praying it's the year caregiving finally ends and I can experience breakthroughes, miracles, happiness, and having a life again. I do pray 2025 is the year PT finally happens. In the last 2 years combined, mom has been up and around the house a combined 96 times.

I do know my grandmother's estate will be taken care of in the New Year. Assuming probate ends in early February, mom can proceed with tending to her bank accounts. Mine and my mom's names will go on her bank accounts. My mom's name is already on the checking accounts and the plan is to take off my grandmother's name and put my name on them. I'm hoping that isn't too long or complicated a process. Every bank account but one is out of state.

Having my name on the accounts would give me leverage over my mom. If the PT window is closed and it's too late, the money could be used to pay for the NH.

I'm hoping I can avoid doing any of my mom's laundry on New Year's Day. It's considered unlucky and I had to do it to start this year and last yr. Last year was hard and while this year was an improvement, though that perspective has kinda shifted in recent days, it was despite losing my favorite aunt and grandmother. I'm superstitious, but she isn't.
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Inkraut,
I love your no3 and then 5.
Allow me to quote you because this should apply to every caregiver:
Enjoying everything good that life will offer without the slightest feeling of guilt. I deserve it.

No more guilt please!

Giving myself the freedom to reinvent myself and not giving a flying f... what other people think about it. I deserve it. 

I think everyone post caregiving should reinvent, restart their lives. We owe to ourselves to do it and not giving a flying f.. is a bonus. Why should we?
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Unkraut, I'll share with you how I quit smoking after many failed attempts and decades of being addicted to nicotine. On the off chance it may work for you or others struggling with the beast.

I took up vaping temporarily. Yes, I know it's no good to vape either, but it feels exactly like smoking. I bought the vape juice with the high nicotine content at first, then cut it down by half, then I threw the vape pen away and bought nicotine lozenges in cinnamon at Walgreens. I cut the full 1mg tablets in half. Then in quarters, then stopped using them altogether and I was RID of the entire habit of smoking and nicotine reliance! That was a decade ago and I've never picked up another cigarette or vape again.

I couldn't do it cold turkey and stick with it, so I did it unconventionally.......but I DID it!

Good luck.
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Anxietynacy, you are more than welcome to borrow N° 5. You deserve it! :-)))
Hugs to you, and wish me luck for giving up smoking.

All the best
Unkraut
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Finish and execute on the darn estate plan ughhh.
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I stopped making resolutions a few years ago. I just try to improve in every area of my life but I do intend to make this year more about me and my needs. I have always put others first and I need to just get in tune with me. I also need to work very hard at loosing weight, work on becoming financially stable , declutter and find ways to relax and stay focused, Happy New Year to all of you!
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1. Not to look back in anger and bitterness regarding my caregiving years but instead...
2. ... to celebrate my strength for having followed through and the opportunity to integrate the concept of mortality into my own life.
3. Enjoying everything good that life will offer without the slightest feeling of guilt. I deserve it.
4. After having quit drinking as a coping strategy in 2024 I want to do the same with cigarettes in 2025. I deserve it.
5. Giving myself the freedom to reinvent myself and not giving a flying f... what other people think about it. I deserve it.

Hugs and best wishes to you all, and may your hopes come true!
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1. Downsize more of my stuff to move
2. get a job in education that is not teaching
3. Quit overthinking and worrying so much
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Thanks Alva; the reminder is helpful. I think I’ve actually been mourning for quite some time but I know that when it is finally quiet and calm here, the sadness will be magnified.

My resolution is to somehow learn to stop agonizing over my choices and to make peace with why I made them. Was my timing right? Is the facility right? Did I fail him in his time of need? What’s wrong with me that I gave up so easily? I know I did not cause my husband’s disease but I am ashamed that my inner Super-woman seems to have taken a powder when I really need her.
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My resolution is to not make any resolutions and to just live one day at a time, doing my best at everything. Walking, eating right, being kind, giving back, etc.
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Pea,
You are allowed to mourn it.
You just aren't allowed to take the responsibility for what he has, because you didn't cause and can't fix it.
It's worth grieving over. If this isn't, then nothing is. Allow yourself to feel the sadness without making the disease somehow your fault.
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To get through my husband’s placement in the first week or two, then to get through the rest of the year without beating myself up about it.
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To NOT make resolutions and set myself up to fail .
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My biggest resolution which I intend to keep is to live in the moment. Less of past and regrets and not worry too much about future.
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I'm going to get back to more dutifully doing my Silver Sneakers online Zoom exercise classes. It's good for weight control, balance, flexibility, cardio, and is pretty rewarding overall. I'm going to try to keep up contact with friends better. Try to get outdoors to walk in the sunshine even though it's cold. Get a huge box of photos scanned so my kids won't have to do it after I'm gone.
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I'm either going to try to cut back on junk food carbs and sugar or I'm going to say screw it and go all in.
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