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Survivallmode....
Please contact the Hospice and tell them that it still seems as if your grandma is in pain.
Also now that she is on Hospice you can request a Respite stay. They will place her in a Hospice In Patient Unit or they will find a facility that they work with that has a bed available.
You will get a break, hospice will care for her.
the next thing you have to do is talk with the Hospice Social Worker and tell them that you can no longer safely care for her. Your Mental wellbeing is at risk.
If you really have to take her back home you can request a Volunteer that will come and sit with her while you can get out. Typically a Volunteer can be arranged 1 day a week for 3 to 4 hours. the Volunteer can do NO "hands on care" (that is the reason for the 3 to 4 hour limit.) but it will give you a chance to get away from the house.

Ignore friends and neighbors that complain.
Ignore and possibly report medical staff that treats you as an annoyance. You are advocating for someone that can not advocate for themselves.
the next thing you HAVE to do is talk to YOUR doctor make sure they are aware of the stress you are going through and ask for a referral (if you need one) to talk to a therapist.
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You need to get respite for the person that you are caring for, so that you can take a break. It doesn’t have to cost you much, just some me time. Try to attend some caregiver workshops to get updates and encouragement/support. Get counseling if needed. If you still feel the way you described, then it’s probably time to get another type of job. You need to feel better about yourself and rewarded in your work.
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Hi there. First of all. Do something g nice for yourself. Have a bath. Cup of coffee. Pat yourself on the back for the care you have provided when it was most needed. And most of all. Be realistic. It sounds as if your person is in need of more care than one person can handle. This may come across as firm but just maybe the care you are providing isn’t adequate because it’s just too much. No one’s fault. But you need to take one step back and trust. Trust that others want what is best for both of you. And perhaps. Perhaps you would be better taking a step back from the care. Sometimes medications are necessary. There is likely pain and fear and medications will help with that. Talk with the social worker. We had a caregiver in our family that refused meds and our poor Mother in law suffered from pain and fear. Injuring staff. Medicated they were able to provide care and the medications were reduced eventually. But remember. There is an end to someone’s life and that is not a failure.
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