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It's not really a problem I think she might be trying to fit in? She's been going to a few activities in the dining room. Used to she would wear colorful tops and solid bottoms. She likes red. Today she asked me to bring her some white blouses. She has a few. I just emptied out her huge house and I'm trying to find room in my closets for all of her clothes!! It's just funny. I'm blessed that things are good right now. She is sleeping better and the food there is good. I'm one exhausted daughter, though.

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I put some of mom's clothes in two different tubs and the rest were given away. I tried to make sure to keep some of the ones I knew she loved. This way I can rotate out her clothes as needed. I only visit mom twice a week as to reduce stress. It has worked out well. You might want to scale back your visiting. You are not in charge of making her happy. That's up to her. I hope you get some rest.
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I had to go through my mother's clothing when she was too ill to make the choices herself. She had every closet in the house full of clothes. I first thinned out items that no longer and donated those right away. Then I looked for items I remember she wore or showed signs she had worn them for the keep pile. (She had unworn and rarely worn items and party clothing she would never wear again--added to later donation pile.) I kept a couple nice outfits she liked and asked her what she wanted to wear for her burial--added these to keep pile. I took these to her Assisted living apartment. I told her to look through them and tell me if she wanted anything else. I kept the later donation items in bags for several weeks. She did not ask for any of them.
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Isabelsdaughter, it sure can be an emotional thing to deal with. I got through with it a few days ago, Hoping it will be sold soon. I knew it would never come to me.
I brought some things, papers and such to my home and today I started sorting through them. It triggered something within me. But I got rid of it and wish I had never looked through that box.
My Mama doesn't seem to care about any of the knick knacks she picked up 'along the way'.
I will say, some of the stuff I've been purging has brought a sort of understanding that I didn't have before.
I'm sure I'll need to talk this over with a therapist at some point though.
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I inherited my parents house and all of their accumulation of 60 years. Memories and reminders of their lives everywhere. Very hard to deal with. Since I was living there. It took me 10 years to remove their clothes from their closets. Heartbreaking. But I did it, and I got through it.
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I have been lurking here for almost a year, and I find it tremendously helpful. Thank you all so very, very much. I can relate to Rbuser 1 in that I am an elderly senior (way older than 65) and the thought of having to take on the project of cleaning out a house that, if something ever happened to my LO, I could not possibly live in alone frightens the dickens out of me.
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I cleaned out a 4 bedroom 123yr old farmhouse. So been there. Do not get too sentimental. Mom will not be returning to her home. I had 3 siblings and bought small moving boxes with lids. Each sibling got a box. As I cleaned out, I put what I thought they would want in their boxes. I gave a lot to local thrift stores and Habitat. The rest where but out for trash day.
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Rbuser, thanks for clarifying where your exhaustion is coming from. I'm sure getting your moms house ready to sell is exhausting especially if she was one to hang on to everything.
There is no need to have to visit her everyday, so I'm glad you didn't go the last several days. Please continue to cut back on your visits with your mom as you matter too in this equation.
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Funkygma, the exhaustion comes from trying to get her house ready to sell and then stopping by to visit every day which I didn't do the past two days and I'm still in clean out, donate, or keep mode all the time. Even going to see her I seem to be doing things when I'm tired.
The clothes are probably a non issue for most people. I think I just want to keep her happy still but that's working out too. She likes it there. I'm trying to beat the clock by selling the house to use for self pay.
The white blouses might be something she's requesting to have something to tell me to do. She might request all patterned blouses next week so I'll just see how it goes. And save a few of those.
I've gotten rid of a huge amount of her clothes. I'm still going through and donating in between clearing out the house.
Other problems with the house have come up (after all these years) that she knows nothing about. And I'm handling it best I can.
I've decided to just do what I can and rest in between. Fortunately the 'house' is almost completely empty and now I can start taking care of myself a little more.
Thank you for your replies and moral support. It means a lot.
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I'm thinking mom is wanting to fit in with how the women at the SNF are dressing. My mother was very much like that herself when she lived in AL and even Memory Care.

Save some of moms clothing in those big plastic bags you can suck the air out of and store under the bed. Donate the rest, that's my suggestion.

Thank goodness things are going well! I'm sure you're exhausted from all you've been doing and from the relief of having mom placed. Take lots of down time for yourself now and enjoy the peace and quiet! 😁
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Not sure what if anything is your concern here but count your blessings that your mom has adjusted so well to her new home.
And if it were me I certainly wouldn't keep all of her clothes to take up space in your closets. Just keep a certain amount of pants, shirts/tops, shoes and underclothing to get her through a few weeks. Then donate the rest to the charity of your choice.
I also have to ask...why are now so exhausted when your mom is receiving the 24/7 care she now requires in a nursing facility? Just because she's close to you doesn't mean that you have to visit every day you know. You can limit your visits to just a couple days a week, as her facility will contact you if an issue arises.

And on a side note, I'm not sure how practical white blouses or tops of any kind are very smart to have someone living in a nursing facility to wear as the odds of them dropping foods and drinks on them is 100%. Are you prepared to get the many stains out of them just to make your mom happy?
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