I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
My own DD has been learning the consequences of 'swooping' herself lately. She saw what I did from a step away.. yet I suppose one must live it to really learn.
I am about to watch her take a big step into the unknown.. for better or worse time will tell. It's all *experience*.
I'm following JoAnn's 'show the way' not 'be the way' too.
I feel like I'm making little bits of progress; hopefully, DD will find her footing.
Thank you so much for your beautiful post on Lea's thread today!
Your doctor should never have told you steps don't matter. Any activity is better than none.
My ortho doctor told me to walk as much as I'm able to. Use the stationary bike too. Even if you're not getting your heart rate up it's still benefitting your health.
Walking or riding the bike even at a slower pace helps build strength and stamina. It also helps with circulation and muscle tone.
You keep walking at any pace you can.
I feel there is a difference between enabling and helping someone over a hump.
I have no issue with helping someone over a hump when they simply need a push to get started.
Anyone can find themselves in a position of needing a little bit of help now and then.
I’m talking about a person who has suddenly lost their job or something of that nature. In other words, someone who didn’t bring their circumstances upon themselves.
I think it is incredibly difficult not to want to try and fix things that are going downhill fast.
Whenever I foolishly tried to fix something beyond my control I made things worse for myself and them. I had to learn the hard way to step away.
I was young and naive. It was also about trying to spare others pain. I would have given anything for my parents not to have to deal with my oldest brother’s issues.
I learned that no matter who said what, my brother was not going to listen to reason. He was in too deep and sadly he lost his life to drugs.
He was a talented person who owned his own business and had a wife and children only to lose it all due to his addiction. He wouldn’t go to rehab. God knows, I tried to get him to go. He was an interesting guy. He would go cold turkey and stay sober for awhile and then relapse again.
Knowing that drugs cost him his life breaks my heart. It’s been years since he died and I still find it disturbing.
We don’t stop loving our family because they are not making wise choices. We may hate what they have done. We can’t allow them to rob us of our lives.
Even after we succeed in not being overly involved, we still hurt inside. Healing takes time.
Sometimes we find beautiful surprises in life and other times we feel frustrated, hurt and sometimes even angry, but mostly just plain sad about certain things. I had to see a therapist for quite awhile before I was able to get a grip on my emotions.
I first thought it could be gout. Foot issues can be related to the antibiotics as a side effect.
They are going to do an ultrasound and testing to see if they can find out what is causing the swelling and pain. Meanwhile, he will continue hobbling around on crutches.
venting - sure it's caregiving. Hope you figure out a way to avoid this hole again
need sorry about your dh's foot problem. I hope it is easily fixable and that's the last of it for a while.
way - don't you love the armchair experts! NOT!!!!
My whine - it snowed and all grass is white again, and it is still snowing ❄🌨❄
I can’t imagine living with snow like you have. My daughter and her Siberian husky miss the snow in Colorado.
I am still puzzled about my southern daughter loving the snow! Her dog loves to play in the snow.
It’s 78 degrees here and sunny!
We have the long, hot and humid summers. My daughter hates the humidity and I think that’s why she fell in love with Denver.
Let’s face it, the Rocky Mountains are beautiful. We are flat as a pancake here.
She loved being able to drive to Vail, Breckinridge and other parts of Colorado to experience being in the mountains.
I am sorry that your caregiver called in sick.
About the neighbor, try to ignore her. She has absolutely no idea what you are going through so she shouldn’t be talking about you.
I hope that your caregiver returns soon.
It’s 82, sunny with a nice breeze right now in Aruba . I don’t want to leave this Island and go home 😭😭😭😭
I’m sorry that on top of the sick calls today you had to hear the neighbors gossiping . That’s terrible . They have not got a clue I’m sure of what is really going on .
❤️🙂
I would be tempted to stay on an island. Sip a tropical beverage for me!
AND I am not at all ready for another presidential campaign season!
Sure, fly in and visit for 3 hours once a year and decide you know how to fix a stubborn man with with a broken brain. 😡😤👿
Uggh . DH and I went away last week on vacation . So step siblings drive out to visit FIL in AL for 3 hours for the first time in a year , while we are gone , acting like they were helping out . Left us with a laundry list of ridiculous things . The best was to get FIL a library card because he wants to go to the library and we never take him . And he says he has run out of books that interest him at his facility . The man has had a library card for the public library for a year . We got it right away when we moved him close to us because we know he reads a lot . He never wants to go when we’ve asked him . So we gave up . AL he lives in has a wall of books shelves that he takes books from and reads . DH brought FIL lunch today . DH comes home and said to me “ Guess who doesn’t want to go to the library “.
And they think they are doctors too , but I won’t even get into that .
I'm sorry but I had to laugh about “ Guess who doesn’t want to go to the library “.. Lol. Echoes of mother telling others that I never bought her any clothing,
And my sister coming for a visit and asking me "Have you seen mother's room?"
I wanted to answer her, "Who do you think moved the furniture in and set it up? The relocation fairies?"
I just turned my head and rolled my eyes. They haven't a clue!!!!!
Relocation fairies . Lol.
And Yes DH is a very funny person . Both my kids learned his humor as well .
We have some very funny family group texts . And my daughter in law is the queen of puns .
regarding flying monkeys, unfortunately there are always silly people around the corner throughout life. huggg.
i hope you can keep the beautiful-island feeling.
❤️🙂
Would you tolerate verbal abuse from a child? Or a teenager? My guess is no.
Don't tolerate it from the elderly either. Even when they have dementia. Give it right back to her and follow it with a period of total ignoring for as long as is safe to do so.
True, a person's dementia can reach a point where they are completely out of it and have no realization or self-awareness. When it gets to that point, they do not belong at home anymore. They need to be in managed care. Many times they belong in managed care long before that time comes. If your mother's dementia is in the early stages, she will improve for a time if you're a bit hard on her. She'll get more respectful when she experiences consequences of her disrespectful and abusive behavior.
I operate a homecare business and have gone to open new cases and will tell a family that their LO is past the point of homecare and needs placement.
I was a homecare worker for 25 years before going into business. I've seen many a once happy marriage end in bitter divorce because an elderly parent was moved into the house.
Don't let this happen to you. Start looking at AL facilities and memory care now. Often there are very long waiting lists.
Think I could borrow a couple of those re-location fairies? I have been packing for almost two months now. Just my things. When I came back to live with my mother I pretty much live in one room and I have so much stuff.
My mother is now on the kick that I won't be taking anything from "her house" to my new one. I showed her the paperwork just last night and told her she is mistaken. My husband doesn't want anything from here anyway. He's right and I know it. Even if I take things that I've purchased (which is pretty much everything that isn't old broken crap) we'll never hear the end of her complaining about it.