I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
Thanks.
My Ex MIL is in a really nice CCRC, in the Independent Living level.
She is partially blind from an occipital (?) stroke, no short term memory, still mobile and in a place with lovely grounds, swimming pool and activities.
One of her good friends recently had to move to the AL side- she'd been in IL with aides and was burning through lots of money and had to move. Ex Mil is apparently quite bereft.
ExDH is asking everyone in the family, myself included, to visit more often because his mom is so "down".
I don't think that's the real solution. I think she might need some better mental health intervention (i.e. meds) a SW to facilitate more socializing, whatever.
Any and all suggestions are thankfully received!
I agree. Can ExMIL get some counseling also. Can she visit her friend in AL , Can't the facility help these friends visit? I'm sure the friend would like the visits as well.
Wondering if AL would be a better fit for exMIL now too? Now that her memory & sight issues are limiting her independance?
From an apartment to one room + ensuite. Much less belongings. I feel sad she has had to downsize again, but it is a better fit.
At least hubby was moved tonight to his own room, ER told us dr will be there. No doctor on that floor at night!
Maybe tomorrow will get some answers.
barb - what other's have said. Is it time for ex mil to move to AL. and/or can she visit with her friend. If she is blind and cannot visit her friend without help, she is hardly independent. Counselling/sw is a good idea anyway.
Thank you. Will insist on getting some answers.
She had a stroke. She’s doing speech,, occupational and physical therapy. She’s scared and depressed and has actually always struggled with anxiety. She’s on Wellbutrin.
She has always been a night owl and doesn’t want to wake up early for therapy. I tried to encourage her. She has it in her mind that none of this will help even though it has only been a week since her stroke.
They are giving her trazodone before bedtime, which she says doesn’t really help with her insomnia.
I’m starting to wonder if she will see much benefit from rehab. She’s given up and has little hope.
Depression is almost a given after a stroke. Also , Maybe they could make her therapy later in the morning ? And have a counselor speak to her for some depression therapy ?
I almost laughed when they came into her room to verify her schedule.
Oh my gosh, my friend is not one to hold her tongue. LOL 😆 She says, 7:30? Oh no, make it 10:00 and I will be there!
They kept the schedule as it was. They won’t move it until later. Believe me, she tried!
I think she does have some type of emotional therapy as well. I heard her nurse speaking with her about it.
My dad had some depression after his stroke. It’s heartbreaking to struggle with trying to recover. Daddy was never himself again after his stroke.
That comes from a wonderful lady, who not just survived her stroke, but thrived. Learnt to walk & talk again + reinvented her life.
The stroke uncovered how UNsupportive the husband really was, how unsuitable their townhouse was (too many stairs) how her job wouldn't work... So left spouse, moved & made a new home, left her job & started back up with her art.
Very inspiring 😊
Sadly I suspect post stroke depression is very common - literally depresses motivation to move, try & engage.
Attending therapy, regardless of *wanting* to or not. "Just Do It" attitude. Then downtime afterwards to avoid brain fatigue is usually recommended.
Need - sorry to hear about your friend. As Way says, a stroke is usually followed by depression. Hope she gets the help she needs and makes a good recovery.
That’s a good idea to speak further about it. She is a person that I know never to call her early or ask her to have an early morning coffee with me. She has never been awake before 10:00. Sometimes she wakes up at noon! LOL 😆
I know that she hates waking up early but I have no idea how flexible they are with the schedule.
Thanks, Golden
Another friend of mine and I are going to try and see her on Thursday evening.
I like that terminology. Stroke survivors instead of victims. Sadly, my friend isn’t able to walk right now. I’m so hoping that she will improve
my sister got into an argument with the eldercare attorney’s paralegal and I received a call from the para that she does not want to speak to my sister anymore and will deal only with me.
I had a giant glass of wine and am going to bed. I want the world to go away.
NHWM,
Sorry to hear about your friend.
But, like Betty, friend hardly 50 had a stroke, but recovered almost completely, lost some vision in one eye.
I think he also discovered how much he wanted to do in his life and it seems he is doing a lot, changed his job, travelled etc. Total survivor!
She can certainly use the prayers.