I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
Now I am thinking maybe that is why I am stressing so much. My parents are digging into my house maintenance time. I need a month without any doctor appointments for my parents, or grocery deliveries for my parents, or going to Home Depot with Dad, or the barber with Dad, or trips to Target with Mom. I need to get my house under control !!
Where's my helmet :P
The first couple of Thanksgivings, I did the frozen turkey thing. It was okay.
Now I get a boneless chicken breast (like that better than turkey) bake it in the oven in a pan with an aluminum foil liner (don't like to clean). I happen to like cranberry sauce, so that, too. Sometimes I'll make it myself other time I just do the canned thing. I love cranberry bread, so I make that. And you can figure out the fixin's easy, i.e., stuffing out of the box (just as good), etc. Then you have your dinner, your wine, whatever.
Decorate your house. Why are we doing this for everyone else yet we don't do it for ourselves?
Taking my mom for UTI test in about an hour. She got up at least and I swear this is true, 35 times in two hours last night. Seriously. She's afraid she'll wet the bed. Then today she told me she can't poop or pee but when you ask her she says she can, then she can't. She's definitely delirious or at least I think so. I looked up UTI's in elderly and see it can make the dementia worse. Problem is I had to tell a friend of mine I couldn't take her to the MRI she is having today because of my mom. I felt bad about that, but my mom has to come first.
Hopefully, this is a UTI and not another bought of Paranoia. The psychiatrist I thought might be good down here (FL) lowered her dose of Olanzapine because he said they had given her that for appetite. I questioned that vociferously but I need the prescription refilled. Well, wouldn't you know, the psychiatrist in Boston told me, NO NO NO....that's for paranoia and we did NOT give her that for appetite. So I just went with the lower dose and now this!
Now that I've made one huge mistake here re that medication, I'm angry at myself for actually listening to this guy. I didn't like him when I met him. Just wasn't a good fit. Now I'm really missing the medical care she was getting back home, MA, but I can't live up there with her. We all try our best but it seems our best just is not good enough!
Who in their right mind would let a 70 year old with AD go on a trip to the mall unattended? No to mention it is flippin freezing outside.
He was found this morning. RIP ...
Some people you just can't beat the stupid out of them.
JB, for family to just drop off someone with dementia to find their way to the mall, sounds like either consciously or subconsciously they that he won't come home. Or they had no common sense and didn't want to be bothered accompanying him.
it said "As the population ages and more people live longer with chronic medical conditions — for instance, the number of Americans with Alzheimer’s disease is expected to nearly triple by 2050 — companies are beginning to grapple with growing numbers of workers who have elder-care responsibilities....
Some, including pioneers such as Fannie Mae in the Washington area, are offering not only flexibility, but also benefits such as emergency backup adult care, geriatric assessments, social workers to assist with referrals for adult day-care programs, and help with legal, financial and emotional counseling. For caregivers whose parents live far away, some companies offer privacy and time for workers to Skype into parents’ appointments with doctors."
The article goes on and on... I can say it is about time. In my previous employment my boss was the ice queen as she had zero understanding about what I was going through. I had taken so much time off that I found after the fact my position was being eliminated. My current employee understands 100%... in fact he let me dash to my own home when a bird flew into the house and my sig other was in a panic [reminded me of the "Modern Family" show where a pigeon flew into the house and Mitchell was in sheer panic].
It sickens me to even think they did it intentionally.
sorry if i implied you were belittling your mother with the baby doll . i can only compare what i read to my own experiences . my mother was pretty cynical even during her last weeks of life . she was delusional but still quite analytical . hospice suggested i lie to mom about our destination then deliver her to a phsyc doc . no matter how demented she was you just dont pull any BS on my mom .
ive been down with depression all day today and determined to figure out why . of course !! those damd colonoscopy meds . they do it to me every time . a phsyc doc once agreed with me that the meds could very well have such an effect on a person for a while . whats to be depressed about ? i just had a 250 . 00 ticket dismissed . court clerk said that never happens .
Like you I have been alone a long time, but for some reason, being "alone" WITH someone is much worse...ie...Mama being here in body, but seemingly barely so in mind and spirit..It just seems very sad and holidays amplify that. I am however doing exactly what you do, moving forward with decorating and such for me because i used to do it for myself when I lived alone two and a half hours away...so might as well do it for me now..and who knows...Mama may enjoy the lights too. I know soothing music is relaxing for her...so we're moving forward, one step at a time...I just miss her laughter and our chit chattering so much....
Yup, totally agree hope, nothing like being alone with someone right next to you. Much worse if you ask me.
That article has a lot of people upset and with good reason. Apparently he called a family member at 11:00 P.M. that night (they dropped him off at 1:00) he told them he was lost and was just gonna sit down and rest. Here's another kicker, the police tracked his cell phone within ONE MILE of where he was. They resumed RESUMED search in the morning. WTF?! Guess the police wanted to go home where it was warm and safe. He was found just off a bike path... breaks my heart thinking what he might have been going through. I pray when the cold set in his body just slowed way down and he slumbered of peacefully. Oh, the police also needs a public flaying along with his family.
3:00 appointment. She forgets to pull down her pants before she pees. I tell her she has to stop, pull her pants down, etc. Then there is this guy banging on the door, he's got to go. Well, I've got the pee cut, pee is dripping down my fingers, and this guys yelling he's got to go. (To his credit, he was on oxygen and looked pretty sick). Anyway ---
So, we're now waiting for the girl to come out and she does. She shows us to the examining room. Now my mother walks fast. She is focused and walks fast. No matter how many times I tell her to walk slower, use a cane, whatever, she doesn't listen. She focuses straight ahead. Next thing the two of us know, she's falling off the step that leads to the examining table and cracks her head on the floor. It was so fast, the mind doesn't even register it.
The crack so loud, everyone came running. Fire Department was called and they stabilized her head and neck. Brought her to the hospital where we spent hours in the ER for CT scans, etc. Now she has to pee, so nurse gets her up and she's limping. I say to the nurse, hey, she doesn't limp! So, nurse takes her to bathroom (my son said in no way would he have continued) ... so I tell them they need to xray her leg. Turns out she has a fractures pubic bone along with the hematoma. She's was admitted to the hospital tonight.
And yes, she has a UTI.
And I have no idea why I am writing this. I think I need to breathe.
And you know what else bothers me...so many patients, yes, lots of help, but nobody listens to you. She's got diabetes so I'm telling them she has to eat and take her meds at a certain time. They get the chart and say, oh yeah. Whatever. That nurse shouldn't have been walking with my mom. She should have been cognizant of the fact that this was a woman who was limping and she was telling her 'it hurt'. If I wasn't there, she would have had nobody speaking for her. I mean, gees. And so many people! So many sick people. I just kind of want to cry when I see all the people, older, and their lives gone. Personnel just treat them as 'next'!' like a fast food restaurant. I'm not saying people aren't 'nice' but they're not 'nice-nice'.
Now about those exam tables... someone needs to resign those terribly uncomfortable tables. Even I have issues climbing up onto one... they are designed for someone over 6 foot tall. Design one with a hydraulic lift that moves every so slowly not to scare one.
On the urine sample topic - I can completely identify with that one. Mom is a large woman, and there's no way in heck she can get a cup under her to take a sample. So we're in the restroom in the doctor's office with mom sitting on the toilet, me squatting in front of her and reaching up under her to try and catch the sample in the cup (yes, that was every bit as awkward as it sounds). Then she decides that she can't go - doesn't have to go. Stands up to pull her clothes up and promptly pees on the floor. Then they tried to tell her she had to bring back a stool sample from home, which she refused to do. (sigh)
Why they didn't take one look at this large woman and put a HAT in the toilet to catch the urine sample, I'll never know. I thought about that after the fact, and will definitely mention it to them next time.
One thing I have learned this past two years. No one, not the Dr's, not the ER people, no your loved one like you do. Even if it's medical, like your mother's leg, they don't notice those things. Gotta be ever so vigilant with those people!
Please take some time to breathe.... and keep us posted!
Not fishing for any happy birthday's, just trying to make it through another year without acknowledgement from anyone here. Which is fine. Just gives me more determination to be a better person and when the day comes that I can go back to my other life it will be with pride and accomplishment.
I remember how fun birthday's used to be, especially working at a school where we were all family. Nothing like getting homemade cards from all the children. The staff had a "Sunshine Committee" that did an awesome job for everyone. Even my boss/friend was fun. He'd always give me like $50 bucks or so and lots of us would go to "Chili's" to finish up happy hour and get the free lava cake. Oh what fun ")
Mom's in a pretty good mood and it's warmed up a bit outside. Rainy and foggy but not freezing, so maybe I will have her take me out to dinner at the fanciest place I can find in this small town. Although the Burger Basket at the Bowling Alley is pretty tasty and lots of people watching for entertainment!
Have a great day AC peeps!