My "whine moment today." What's yours?

LOL Veronica and FF - I have no idea what he was telling me. I'm sure it was just a funny accident, but it was hilarious. I guess we'll see if he does it again.

Cap, have you tried loading up on Vitamin D ? It really helps with the winter blah's. Sure worth giving it a try so you can beat an egg again!!

Susan, maybe your big puppy was cold :) My 80 lb'er (constant companion) loves to be snuggled somewhere warm...

Perhaps you're just anxious to see your on which brought on the "stress" feeling?? Like, hurry up and get here already!! LOL!! I sure would be anxious... or, could be your stressing about putting this altogether to make sure mom is okay while your gone? Nothing like trying to enjoy yourself plus worrying about what's going on at home.

oh oh, speaking of sons... a few weeks ago I called Josh ( my son) and had a full breakdown on him. Poor thing... I begged him to move here with me - in hindsight I might have been guilting him to help me after all the help I've given him. I did fee bad later, but not too bad ;) Anywhoo, he, all on his own without prompting, sent me a lovely birthday card and his message brought tears to my eyes. When he called me last night he told me he'd already set up two weeks in January to come see me. Got it all cleared with his boss and everything! I thought my heart was going to burst from happiness... I get so tired of trying to figure everything here out on my own. It will be nice to have him here for 2 weeks, hopefully I won't kidnap him and make him stay!!

Bubble wrap? Hmmm..... gives me an idea, I can bubble wrap moms head in the evenings when she goes on her 10 mile pace around the house :D awesome!!

I solved the hot/cold issue in this house with 2 space heaters. One in her room and one in front of her chair. What chair, that chair, where, right there, that one, yes that one, where ARGH!! The one that is all warm and snuggly!! LOL hopefully the heat will draw her to the chair..... like a moth to a flame

my mom used to successfully micro regulate the temps with an electric heater in her room but one day she told me it started pouring out smoke . i was into dementia enough by then to know her mind would never change so i didnt argue about it . for the next few months i just silently rechecked the wall thermostat behind her . i lived with 81 degrees but sometimes shed have it pegged . she didnt see well .
jeanette,
my system is depressed from those dam colonoscopy meds . ive been freezing for a week ( indoors ) and if i dress warmly it isolated my body from the ambient heat and i get even colder . probably still better than colon cancer but always takes me weeks to recover .

Something odd is going on with Mom today...she fell asleep 3x in the shower, took her over an hour to actually get showered. I ran back and forth 4 or 5 times checking on her. Claimed she was fine, and then came out and sat up in her chair watching tv for over an hour before she laid down for a nap. She scared the heck out of me because I could hear that the water was just running and running in there, and that she wasn't actually using it to shower - just letting it run (she has a handheld showerhead, so you can hear the difference between water just running vs it being used) - so I went in to check on her and couldn't see her shadow sitting on the shower chair behind the curtain and she wasn't answering me.

Came out and was fine, sat up and watched TV and then went to sleep again - in her bed this time. What the heck?! Guess I'll just watch her for the next 24 hours - she has "down times" as I call them, where she gets the blues or gets lethargic and just won't do anything. This might just be another of those times, but this was odd, even for her. She usually doesn't fall asleep in the shower - the fact that she gets chilled sitting there is enough to make her hurry and get done so she can get out.

Susan, has she done a sleep apnea test? Had a check-blood work done lately? I'd be a bit worried myself, especially since she fell asleep in the shower! ... Like you said, the cold alone should have kept her awake and motivated to get the heck out! Very weird indeed!

Ok Cap, just what kind of meds do they give you for a colonoscopy that does this?

Could she have had a Tia or something like that?

Went to see a plastic surgeon this afternoon about a trapped nerve in my elbow at the suggestion of the Neurologist. Hubby was somewhat pissed that I did not go for the surgery as he said I was still fit enough to have the surgery. I told him it would not fix my frozen elbow which apparently embaresses him when I eat as it looks strange. ( I have to hold my hand at a strange angle to get the fork to my mouth} All it would do was stop my hand going numb when I lean on it. I added that he did not realize how disabled I really am. He thought for a moment and then said. "Well you have never been a complainer" Does anyone think I should start whining?

i think they gave me versed and propofal jeanette . versed is one of the benzo 's and screws with the hypnosis part of the brain . i think propofal is what made mike jackson moonwalk -- in hell .. either way this crap causes me a few weeks of depression every time .
veronica ,
hope you get your arm fixed but in the meantime couldnt you bend a 90 degree angle in your fork ? just kiddin . i have a junk elbow too . somebody took a photo one time of me beating on a rock . the hammer was moving so fast it wouldnt photograph so that explains the worn out elbow .

Veronica, ah the old Mars vs Venus when it comes to injuries/illnesses and complaining. Most of us gals will run screaming into the night if we see a scary insect, but won't say boo when something hurts. On the other hand, a guy stubs his toe on the coffee table, you feel you need to bring out the wheelchair :P

And if we did complain something hurt, oh well, we would sound like we were nagging.... [sigh].

Mom can't do sleep tests - she never sleeps deep enough or long enough for the test to be completed. (She's tried in the past.) She seems well enough this evening, just wants to sleep a lot, but she's up now and seems alert and oriented enough - like she normally is. Not sure what the heck all that was this morning with the shower, though. Weird.

yea men might do a little sympathy hor ' in sometimes . ive personally stood and laid stone on one particular hepc treatment until i would abort after about 4 hours because i was tripping over my own feet or the uneven ground . the va didnt really like my teen son being my primary support system so i went out of my way to not even sigh audibly . women fuss about child birth but id like to see one of em zip their d*ck up in their zipper , shed scream like a tornado siren ..

I would like to see men go through pregnancy... they wouldn't make it through the first week of morning sickness :P

Ha! Did anyone see the video on youtube of 2 guys going through simulated child birth. Woosies ;)

Well, Mom is back to normal today - can't explain what happened yesterday, but...I guess I'll chalk it up to just one of her "low" days. I got up this morning and she was actually up and dressed! First time for that in probably about a month (her dressing without me telling her to, that is). When I commented that she was up and dressed already she looked at me like I had 2 heads and said, "Well, YES!" kind of sarcastically. LOL Ah well...she's doing better today, so I'll take it.

Think I figured out my stress issue yesterday. Jeanette, I think you were the one that said it was related to my upcoming trip - I think you were right. It hit me this morning that I am leaving in EIGHT DAYS. OMG. I have an incredible amount of stuff to get done in that short time. I have to get lists ready for the neighbor and sibling that will be checking in on Mom, make a list of TV channels and phone numbers for Mom to keep beside her, make sure Mom's meals are all prepped and in the freezer (to be put in the fridge the day I leave so she can just pull them out and nuke them), make sure her clothes are all ready, bedding is all washed and fresh when I leave, house is clean, van is packed, got all the Christmas gifts for my son wrapped and ready, food purchased and packed (staying in a cabin), dog stuff all packed - he's going with me, and THEN, since I'm hosting the family Christmas party the day after I get back, I have to make sure all that stuff is ready before I leave so I don't have to rush when I get back. And I'm sure I'm missing something here...oh yeah, the van needs a once-over and an oil change.

On top of that, I have my regular workload for my clients and a new project I picked up to earn extra money for the trip. Yikes.

I'm tired just thinking about it. LOL No wonder I was stressed yesterday. Subconsciously, I was freaking out over the stuff I have to do this week.

Jeanette, I SAW that video...I recommend anyone who wants a good laugh go and watch it - it's great!!!

I don't know how realistic that simulation could have been, but I couldn't bear to watch. I can't stand hearing grown men wail.

Susan, I knew it! LOL It's more stressful preparing for a trip than anything ... so much to do, so many T's to cross. I'm impressed I even remember what it's like to prepare for a trip. Oh well, reading your to-do list tuckered me out as it is! I;m very excited for you. Have a wonderful time!

CM, they did indeed wail ! It was supposed to be pretty accurate pain wise, if anything it would have been less, not greater. Just priceless!!

OK. I just watched something I thought was disturbing posted on FB.

A long time friend of my sons mother posted a 5 minute video of her mother whom she is visiting in NY. Her mother has been battling AD for 10 years now. Either I never knew this or I forgot... anyway, I was disturbed watching it. Of course her mother had no idea who her daughter was or her name, she didn't know the grandchildren or great grandbabies. For 5 minutes I watched her ask her questions and saw the poor dear squirming but keeping a smile on her face. The show timing was so evident (to me) that I just wanted to grab her and whisk her out of there and the interrogation that was going nowhere. I do realize she made the video for her children and grandkids but please, why post it on FB? Maybe it's just me but I would never post a video of my mother like that.

JeanetteB, I agree with you 100% about posting something like that on Face Book.

My sig other has been after his grown daughter to stop posting photos of her grade school girls on Face Book... you never know who would copy those photos to use elsewhere on a website that is inappropriate. For myself, I never created a Face Book account.

FF I also agree. I never joined facebook either

Veronica, glad I am not alone not being a member of Face Book. People look at me like my hair is on fire if I tell them, nope.

Facebook sounds like *Dear Diary* [no offense to those who do Facebook].... gosh, I remember way back when diaries were under lock and key, heaven help those who found the key and read the pages :P

I meant more of posting such a personal video of ones mother whom suffers with AD. Posting pics and other types of video's really doesn't bother me. I post a lot of pics and video's but they're mostly of my dogs, river's waterfalls, fall leaves and other scenery here in the PNW. Wait, I've posted lovely picture's of my mother while she was outside enjoying the weather and flowers. Never a gut wrenching sad personal one like that was. Not judging anyone, just thought it a bit too personal...

Jeanette I think it was cruel and unnecesary

There are times I wish there was a reality show or TV drama showing a half dozen families who are Caregivers and what they all go through. If viewers can watch The Housewives, maybe they would watch a Caregivers series.

Bet it would be quite an eye opener to those who never have faced the trials and tribulations of caring for an elder. Instead of using an actual elder, have actors portray. I know I knew zero about elder care, I know it sounds silly but I never pictured my parents becoming so elderly :(

The only time I videoed my mom was with her persmission,she doesn't have dementia, I videoed her room and my friend was there that day and showed her cleaning mom's room and what the room looked like,also pictured my room and the house, and mom's art room in the basement and the only person I ever showed it to was my therapist because I needed reassurance that I wasn't keeping my mom in a prison, after viewing mom's living conditions and environment my therapist jokingly asked if she could live with me but I would never put pictures or video of her on public display especially if she had any kind of dementia and I don't even like my mother.

freqflyer, I love your idea of a caregiver reality show or something to that effect. I was thinking it might wake up some of the family "slackers" but after reflecting on it I concluded they probably would not watch a program like that.

Okay, where to start, first I apologize to those I know have it worse than me so this is just me venting;whining.Well the day started okay, I have found some art activities for mom and she has signed up for art classes at this ladies house which she is looking forward to,I was so thrilled about this because I am going to start riding my horse more and maybe start competing again all of which I told my mother,was afraid to because knowing her she will start to have "problems" everytime I try to ride.So I though with the art classes, once a week, PT twice a week , church,getting her hair done once a week with her energy level this should keep her stimulated and busy.What a fool I am.I picked her up from the hair salon today and as she was getting in the car(this is long) I noticed what looked like dirt on the side of her right leg, so I asked her what is that smudge on your leg, I could tell immedieately something was up just be her facial expression, like she had been caught, I looked closer and saw that it was dry betadien, I am a nurse, so I asked her in the car what was dry betadine doing on her leg(I had given her a very good shower the day before and saw nothing unusual.I get no answer at first, then she said well I put some on my toes because they hurt, I said you know betadine doesn't help arthritis, also that your toes always hurt because of arthritis( she is on 200mg morphine a day for osteoarthritis).Well long story short she finally admits she put betadine between her right little toe and the toe next to it becaue it hurt inbetween,I though oh god she has another infection,her toes on both feet are mangled and June of this year she had a bunionectomy on the right foot becaue of constant infections.So we get to the house and she wants to go to her art studio, I said no we are going to your bedroom so I can look at your foot, she is not happy, get to her room and get her sock off, she had soaked some gauze in betadine and had it between her toes, I took it out and thought well here we go again, asked her when she did this,because the day before we I bathed her the gauze wasn't there and she made no complaints about her toes.She finally admitted it had been hurting there for the last 3 to 4 days,I thought the top of my head was going to come off,she doesn't have dementia. Yesterday I took her to PT, she says nothing, we were already in the car not far from a doc in the box and could have gone there but she says nothing.Even to day she said nothing until I confronted her, took her to MD , placed on antibiotics until I can call her podiatrist Monday, he did her foot surgery and told her she might need more on the right foot,also went ahead and had a urine done for uti,it was clear, and a cbc which showed no active infection, the md there said he didn't think it was infected but it was reddened with what I though looked like an abscess/blister in appearance ,I know her foot history better than him and told him just get us thru the weekend because I will be calling her podiatrist Monday. I told her the reason I was angry was not because I had to take her to the MD but because I had to find out by accident she was having a problem, she obviously knew something was wrong and was treating it herself and not telling me despite numerous opportunities to tell me.Thank god this guy was open on a Sat. because otherwise we would have been sitting in the local ER. I have told her numerous times tell me when something first starts not 3 days later.She started whining that well she thought it was a horse day, meaning I would be riding, I told her it didn't matter if that was the day symptoms started, I understood things happen but to wait for days and even then I find out just because I am very observant,If I hadn't noticed that smudge on her leg I wouldn't have found out about her toes.And no I don't go through her toes every time I bath her, I ask her if their is a problem and trust her to tell me, again she does NOT have dementia, NPD yes.This is so frustrating,you can't believe how frustrating. All day Friday, I take her to PT, get her home get her bathed even bathed her 2 dogs, then did an 80mile round trip to get her Morphine prescription,right I do nothing for her.With dementia I could understand,but she doesn't, her hair appointment was more of a priority.I told her I believed that she was either going to wait to say something on a day I was going riding or it was because she didn't want me calling the podiatrist because he would want to do surgery. Her foot surgery actually went well and no more infections at that site.I even sat down with her last week with my calendar and hers and got our activities coordinated and I thought that would make her feel more involved and show that her having activities was important to me, but again I forgot I am dealing with a NPD.I knew she was going to start some sh*t when I told her I was going to start riding again.Well I am calling her podiatrist Monday and she is going for an evaluation because I am not going thru the multiple foot infection episodes again and if he says she needs surgery if I have to declare her incompetent I will because I explained to her if an infection gets away from us it could kill her and it would be worse than losing a toe.I could just run down the road screaming.

The woman's youngest daughter ( 21 ) is one smart young lady!

She just posted this to her mother/video

I appreciate the video but this shouldn't have been publicly posted.. & I already texted you this should have been sent among us not on Facebook. Take it down please

Texarkana, I will come running down the road screaming with you. Yes, what seems small can become so very BIG in a manner of days.

It's like when my Dad fell in the driveway and hit his head. A neighbor and some workmen carried Dad inside the house. Instead of Mom calling 911, she thought an ice pack and a good lunch would be the cure all. It was hours later that Mom called to say what happened to Dad. So I rushed over to their house, I wanted to take Dad to an urgent care down the street as that goose egg on Dad's head didn't look real good, but Dad was too wobbly to stand. So I called 911. The EMT's were great, Dad went to the ER. Better safe than sorry.

Oh how I wished I had a sibling to bounce this off of.... glad this website is here, I have a lot of *adopted* siblings here... and if I don't like what they say, DELETE :P

Tex....we're right there with you. Vent away.

FF...we're happy to be your adopted siblings! I think all of us need someone to talk to and this site sure helps.

Jeanette - that video should NEVER have been posted. Oh my gosh. I feel so badly for that poor woman, with someone sticking a video camera in her face and interrogating her, having no idea how to answer the questions and wondering why she's being taped. Thank goodness her daughter had the guts to say something.

Some people have no filter between their mind and their keyboard and post ANYTHING on social media. They understand that everyone can see it, they just don't care, or they hope it will bring them attention and/or sympathy. I have a friend from my high school days that does this *all the time*, and it drives the rest of us nuts. She changes her relationship status like most of us change socks, posts her gripes and complaints about her newest man publicly on Facebook, has *very* public fights with him on there, etc. My stance on that is: if you wouldn't invite all 300+ friends from your Facebook friends list into your home to witness your private family fights, DON'T POST THEM ON FACEBOOK.

Exactly!!

I "Liked" her daughter's post about taking it off on FB. She sent me a message thanking me for being the only one who agreed. She said it hurt her tremendously to see her grandmother displayed publicly and if her grandmother could realize what happened, she would be offended and upset. Oh Lord... I know, mind my own business but damn... common sense anyone? It took every ounce of restraint to keep my fingers closed... if one more person would have said how "lovely and sweet" that video was ... grrr, just what is so lovely and sweet seeing an 80 year old woman no longer recognize anyone in her family?

Idiots, that's who thinks it is so damn sweet.

I have zero tolerance to those attention/sympathy seekers.... show some respect to your mother!

Okay... off my rant now. (ears are totally laid back)!!!!

Getting enjoyment out of watching an elderly person be intentionally confused and befuddled by someone pushing a camera in their face and demanding they recognize family members when they can't is NOT cute or sweet or lovely. Those people need to put themselves in the elderly person's shoes.

Go ahead and lay your ears back, Jeanette - I think we're all right there with you.

I'm playing the Sunday-Morning-Shower-Game here today. Older sibling is in town for a few days and is meeting us for breakfast in 1.5 hours - but Mom has yet to get in the shower, and I haven't gotten mine yet either, because Mom's been in the bathroom for 25 minutes now, just sitting on the toilet. I've heard 3 flushes so far, but I'm pretty sure it's not because she was flushing anything down...she just forgets whether she's flushed or not, so she does it again.

Ah! THERE'S the shower water turning on! Well, mark that as a victory for today. I was half-expecting her to come out of the bathroom and say she wasn't going to breakfast today.