I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
And now these bullies are forever out of my life!
Thanks for all your support.
Not sure how to deal with this. I explained he sees more family now than he did living with me and he is safer.
He likes being doted on. I can't visit, I am many states away. He did have a social life living with me, Dinner, breakfast and lunches out and church on Sundays. That took a toll on the people having to drive him everywhere. Took a toll on me and my wife too. Now we have one adult child back in the house and watch my granddaughter 3 days a week (my choice).
How do I deal with dad starting to complain about being lonely?
Do you think perhaps he's attempting to turn you into a "flying monkey"? That's a relative who is enlisted by someone with a personality disorder to get someone ELSE to do their bidding. It seems to me that both your sister and aunt fell prey to this when Dad was living with YOU. Do you see the pattern here?
Dad is in a good facility with lots to do, yes? He has dementia and can't be reasoned with, yes?
How about "sorry dad, can't help you out there" and move on to another topic?
"How do I deal with dad starting to complain about being lonely?"
Well Dad, being lonely is a problem that can happen as we age, or any age really. What can you think of to see more people, get more fun into your life?
Turn it back to him. It's his feeling. Only he can fix his own feelings.
Good start for the New Year !
sorry you had a bad text . Glad you will treat yourself.
“ he likes to be doted on “.
He has staff to dote on him where he lives . He also has activities , and meal time for opportunity to make friends there and have a social life. They also bring in church services , and most likely have some outings he can go on out to restaurants , stores , perhaps the movies or a play , library .
My FIL refused to make friends where he lives , that’s on him . He partially did it to try to get us to dote on him more. He demanded we take him out to meals and wanted us to take him on vacations where he wanted to go . Being in AL was beneath him . He still complains that he’s “ in an institution” , nothing we can do about it. FIL has dementia, 1/2 the time he doesn’t think he belongs there. We encourage him to go to activities , make friends and then we change the subject .
So I called and asked the nurse to look for it when she brought him his meds , or to send and aide in to look for it .
That is so hard. Your FIL is exactly where he needs to be. He could never survive on his own without help.
I am sure that you and your husband thought that it would become easier when he was placed in assisted living.
It isn’t any easier if he still depends on y’all for help. Grrrrrrr…
Sorry about the text that your daughter sent.
DH is just as ridiculous. He’s complaining to me about his father calling him about his hearing aide. He told his father he couldn’t run down tonight .
I told DH when his father calls, tell his father to use his call bell. DH replied to me with his go to answer “ I’m sick of this “. And added , “he won’t use the bell”.
Sheez. It was clear DH wasn’t going to do anything so I called the AL. Otherwise FIL would call DH about it again.
Thanks
Yep, one phone call to the assisted living facility is a lot easier than running over there.
Your husband is lucky to be married to a logical woman!
DH knows better. But doesn’t always act .
Instead he just stalls, tells his father he will get to it.
Then turns to me and says ,
“ I’m done dealing with this S4!t “
His other go to answer for when he doesn’t do something ( even if it will make it easier for all ).
So, he’s pacifying his dad.
It kind of reminds me of when I was a kid and my mother said, “We’ll see.” Oh my gosh, I knew every time my mom used that phrase, it really meant, “No!”
Yep, it’s a stall tactic.
My allergies are driving me crazy!
I highly recommend it.
Do the research on how to use it with your own solution, it is so expensive otherwise.
I have been suffering for several days with sinus congestion. I am thinking about buying a Navage.
Don’t laugh but years ago when I tried netipot I couldn’t get the hang of it. I felt spastic. I kept spilling it!
It’s my own fault that I am sick, because we agreed to watch our daughter’s Siberian husky. I love him and I have snuggled with him far too much! I am allergic to cats and dogs. I took Claritin but it hasn’t helped much. Maybe I will add Mucinex.
My daughter has been in Colorado for two weeks. She flew home last night. She Ubered to her house and is picking up the dog after she gets off work today.
Do you use your Navage often? Thanks for the additional information. I will look into that.
Maybe your FIL is approaching the end. I am glad that hospice is involved. It is so hard to watch a parent decline. How is your husband holding up? I know that he must be exhausted.
My mother was ready to go. She was tired of suffering. She was content in her end of life hospice care home. She received excellent care. They kept her comfortable towards the end and that’s all we wanted for her. She had suffered enough.
You should watch videos on how it is used, it is pretty simple but does take a bit of practice to get it right. I still get some water coming in my throat but it doesn't bother me. I don't swallow it and that takes some practice.
I think you will like the end results.
Good luck with it.
I have horrible allergies so I think I will buy one since you have seen good results.
I’ll check out the YouTube videos too.
I don’t think he’s going anywhere soon unless something catastrophic happens .
He is still getting all his meds , he had extra Lasix given and he’s taking the antiviral . He mostly wanted pain relief from the back pain . He is also bedbound for now . So his choices were to go to the hospital ( which would have lead to a nursing home ) or stay at AL on hospice . We will see what happens. He always has the option to change his mind which is a possibility . I could see him wanting to try to get PT to walk again , which I do not think would be successful . He would have to come off hospice for that , however I doubt the doctor would give him an optimistic prognosis about him ever walking again . He was in bad shape before he got Covid , we were waiting for the call from AL saying he needs SNF .