My "whine moment today." What's yours?

Anytime I see, hear, or read of someone being unkind to an elderly for whatever reason, like the elderly person is walking or driving too slow, I want to say to that mean person "is your calendar going in reverse?"

OMG OMG OMG...TOTALLY agree re the posting of things on social media on an elderly person who can no longer speak for or defend themselves and whom, you KNOW, would be so upset if something like that were posted...Also, when folks come in our home and Mama has no idea who they are and they poke at her, laugh at her, think it's funny when she says an ugly word (Mama never used foul language...always a very gracious lady) and so sadly now, will occasionally the "s" word fly...but folks think it is funny...Before Mama got so bad, when she was still talking and felt good. I will say I had a few pictures of her with us where she looked absolutely glamorous and I posted them...now that she is so sick and frail and no longer recognizes folks I rarely get on social media...this is a very private time and I do not feel it is appropriate or even have a desire to "share" such a personal and painful journey with people who truly don't even know us....I have had a few folks send me private messages wanting to "chat" or getting upset because I never get on there and cut up like a fool these days. I am so fed up with all of it I don't even respond to them anymore and when it becomes harassing I just delete and block them. Idiots...all of them ...idiots...you would think grown ups would have enough sense to understand that when you are in the throes of losing someone so dear in your family no questions would even be necessary....idiots...I agree Jeanette...it would be hard to keep from clocking someone like that.....

It is raining here ...again...Mama is still running her fever..it is low grade but they cannot determine where it is coming from and we hospice has been excellent with keeping us informed with everything going on...I won't get to see brother today . He texted me and said he is coming down with something and so does not want to risk spreading it...and I am thankful for that...He at least has some common sense. I had a couple of relatives who came by about three days before Mama started running a fever...AFTER they had been here for two hours I learned they had been getting over a bug..what the he** is wrong with people??? i am now going to put a very prominent sign on our door stating "IF YOU ARE OR HAVE BEEN SICK, PLEASE DO NOT ENTER. CARING FOR SOMEONE WHOSE IMMUNE SYSTEM IS SEVERELY COMPROMISED".......

I had a dear friend once whose husband was in the process of chemo and he was very very sick. I wanted to visit him, but my friend told me she appreciated my wanting to come but he could not have even the slightest risk of contracting something and she was having to keep folks from visiting but she would tell him we were thinking of him. I agreed and was not offended in the least. Once i knew he was in that condition I had better sense than to go anyway, but it was not offensive for her to inform me. Why do people get so offended for standing up for folks you love.....

I am very worried about Mama, but over the last few days after a lot of prayerful would searching it finally came to me that while I am NOT saying I want to lose her, but I know how blessed our family is that we have had Mama with us for such a long and blessed life. So instead of falling apart like I did last week, I want to find that inner peace and strength that I always saw in my Mama and be here for her like the young lady she raised me to be. Mama has always been such a graceful and strong lady...that is who she would want me to be....so I am trying....and I am blessed and thankful..

Hope, thoughts and prayers with you and hugs too. Do not tolerate disrespectful behavior from any one in your home.Mama is still a graceful and strong lady it is only the packaging that has become worn and that only adds to her value. think of her as a valuable antique and treasure her as you have always done.

Today we are doing *Thanksgiving* dinner at my house. My parents will be here shortly.

I can't wait for the day to be over because I am no Martha Stewart... thus days like this are very stressful for me. My sig other doesn't do much because his generation the men sat and watched TV while the women folk were all in the kitchen cooking, plus all the cleaning the house before the company would come.

The grocery store cooked the turkey for me, but it is still stressful trying to get all the fixings [all heat and serve] and rolls all heated up at the same time. I tend to get frizzled. I rather be at the office :P

It's just me, my sig other, and my parents. No Aunts to help out, no siblings to help out [only child], nor do I have any children. It would be so nice if someone else was bringing some home made side dishes. My Mom use to do sweet potatoes with marshmallows but at 97, she can't do it any more.

Wish I could go back in time when I was a kid to my mother's parents home for Thanksgiving in Connecticut, and my Mom's 4 sisters and 1 brother, and their spouses and my cousins, all out on the farm. The house was haunted, so that was extra fun :)

FF save the turkey and carve up the relatives....

Ok. I wanna know who the hell sprinkled the Earth with crazy last night? WHO DID IT?

Why you ask? Well, on my phone this morning was a voice message, yup, not a text message from my ex husband. I think it's been close to 7 years now... he left me a Happy Belated Birthday message saying he's been thinking about me. WHAT? WHAT? Oh my gawd.... he hasn't did that in those 7 years... we do share the same birth date (he's one year younger than I ) but.... but.... whaaa?

Oh good Lord Jeanette..RUN.

I know I would if my ex did that....either one of them.

LOL!! I did run clear across the United States.

I'm scared to leave the house today.... something weird is lurking out there...

You know what's funny, Jeanette? I had one of those vivid dreams about my ex one night - where he called me up and did what yours did - said he was thinking about me and why didn't we get together for coffee. Against my better judgement, I did it, and in that dream, we got back together. Now *THAT* was a nightmare. Woke up with a major case of the heebeejeebies from that one.

Okay, since we're talking about dreams -- Last night in my dream Bill Gates came to visit. Nothing tawdry. He was super nice, but he stole my pillow. What kind of billionaire does that to a poor caregiver. :'(

bahahaaaa Jessie!! That must have been one really nice pillow for Bill Gates to want it....

hahahahahaha!!! Of all things to steal Jess!! Exactly what kind of pillow do you have? Or, have you sewn a billion dollars in it? :D
How and WHY in the world do we have these type of dreams? - Yes, I've been dreaming about the ex as well as the ex boyfriend as well.... sigh, and they are just weird!! The scariest part was the "I was thinking about you"... oh, and the "I meant to call you on my birthday".... no, not my birthday, it is OUR birthday.... and why does it even bring any emotion to me. I feel like a drank 5 cups of cuban coffee :/

Just a plain pillow. There's a lot of wisdom to that dream. Remember that no matter how nice a billionaire acts, he's only after your pillow.

got rained out after 4 hours of work today . i dont care but the short hours are hard on my helper girl .
found my aunt a hell bettwer cushion at the goodwill tho for only 3 bucks . i tied that sob towards the front of her wheelchair with my usual orange mason line so it doesnt scoot rearward when she sits down . she seems very pleased with it . when i can make edna more comfortable its a good day regardless of how crappy other aspects may be .
bought a great big " bone in " ham for 1 . 39 a lb . man i can make 90 meals with that big sucker . enough bone for a couple big pots of beans too .
foreman still hasnt killed me a deer yet . the jars are ready and heather wants to help me butcher and can for a share of the venison .
the bunker is getting nice compared to only a year ago . doll of a little kitchen ..

ff, how was your dinner?

I still haven't decided what we are having on Thursday..... no clue. Not really in the mood for a big ol' heavy dinner, besides, mom doesn't eat meat all that well.

Same here, Jeanette - one sibling is coming for dinner (hopefully) which will make Mom happy. Since there will be just 3 of us, I'm doing a turkey breast in the crock pot (which turns out fantastically moist). Not sure on the side dishes at this point, I'm sure there will be some very *NOT* low-carb dishes involved, just for that one day. I have tons of recipes for low-carb stuff, just no time to cook it this week. All three of my new clients are clamoring for work to be done and I'm swamped.

My trip to see my son is being delayed due to a medical issue that came up with one of his siblings down there, so I won't be going to see him for a while. It's ok, though - the medical issue that came up was far more important than my trip and needed their full attention, and my son is old enough to help with his other younger sibling while his dad and stepmom focus on the other one.

JeanetteB, the already cooked turkey and the heat/serve side items were a success.... the grocery store has a different vendor for the stuffing and for the cranberry relish, much better than last time :) My parents went home with half of the left overs.

My parents came mid-afternoon and dozed off watching football, so did sig other. And instant replay of the dozing after dinner. I am not into football so I just sat and stared at the TV. Mom is almost deaf so the conversation is very limited.

Our 3 teen-aged cats made an unusually long appearance so my parents got to see them. Normally it is a quick how-to-you-do and they leave the room. The cats get panicky when they hear Mom and Dad move about the house using their canes.

Hope everyone here has a nice Thanksgiving :)

Awh bummer Susan! Glad to see you're taking it in stride though, not much good comes of getting upset tho does it? I do hope whatever medical issue's they are having all turn out fine.

Hmmm, the crock pot breast o' turkey sounds scrumptious. It will make a nice soup for the following days :) Soup is the best part of winter.

So, I was thinking of eggplant lasagne. I have one jar of homemade sauce left and I've never made it or had eggplant lasagne before. A new tradition perhaps? Plus one of those yummy salads like The Olive Garden makes. I love those tart olives n banana peppers... now you have me thinking of adding a crock pot turkey breast as a "side".

It's been months since I've seen my 2nd oldest brother and the brief visit the eldest paid a month or more ago doesn't hardly construe a visit, so I highly doubt any of them grace their mother with a visit. Fine by me. She never mentions them anymore anyway so not as if she'll miss them right?

I have a fire/emergency scanner, and within a half hour there were two calls to two different grocery stores in our area for what was called a *sinkable episode* [pasting out], and both calls were for women in their late 40's and in their 50's.

I'm thinking the stress of trying too do too much for the holidays? Sandwich generation? Make that 3 calls, another one just came in.... [sigh]

FF--- they probably got pepper sprayed fighting over a good Turnip.

freq , the hors were cracked out of their heads . lol
my aunt got her replacement hearing aid this evening and she comprehends every word said . awesome .
holiday ?
im baking some brotchen rolls right now and hoping they last thru the week . really , you could smear cat crap on these rolls and theyre still a treat . i love em with nothing but butter on em ..
i dont want turkey , i want some d*mn bread rolls .

My whine moment today is that along with the daily frustrations of caring for 2 AZ/dementia people, I learned the used truck I bought 3 months ago needs a transmission & rear end. No way I can afford it. At 57 years of age which have been nothing but a constant struggle I just want to give up right now. I am so very tired of life.

After two weeks of fighting a really bad fever, last night I noticed that Mama's forehead felt cool, as did her left cheek...her right cheek however was flame red and hot to the touch. It immediately reminded me of when I had my abcessed tooth so I got my flashlight and lo and behold, the tooth that had broken off at the gumline had become enflamed and oozing (sorry) so Mama has a bad abcess...God bless her heart...what she must have been through this past couple of weeks...her dentist got her on meds immediately and her temp is now back to normal and she is sleeping like a baby and is becoming coherent again...so it was NOT a UTI but an abcessed tooth...it reminds me once again that while medical professionals do know their job, they don't necessarily catch everything and it is important to observe your loved one for things others may not realize is not normal for them...Thank God we have found this. The plan is to get the infection handled then they are going to remove the tooth..BOTH of them...soooo thankful tonight...so VERY thankful....

ill probably work thurs and fri if the weather cooperates . holidays dont mean too much to me . friday is even my birthday . still doesnt matter . im going to have to buy a 1000.00 concrete cutoff saw pretty soon . gonna have to cut a lot of wood at 10 bucks an hour to pay for that .
i did skin the sav a lot yesterday . got a 10 lb ham , ten lbs of chicken quarters , bag of onion , large bag of pinto beans , bag of sugar , bag of flour , brown sugar , 3 cans of red beans , 5 lb bag of frozen french fries , all for 28 bucks . bet i eat well for 2 months with all that .

typo ;
38 bucks at the savalot . still pretty d*mn good for that much sustenance .

You did good Capt. My Save A Lot is not that cheap most of the time.

Thanks for the description Hope of your mom's abscess tooth. My dad has several cavities. He has toothaches but is so stubborn. He refuses to go to the dentist. I told him years ago to go to the dentist. He refused. Now, I'm sure it's past just putting fillings in. You know how you have terrible bad breath when you have cavities? My dad's bad breathe is so strong, I can smell it several feet away from him. Despite the constant pain, he still refuses to go to the dentist.

1butterfly, I'm tired of life too. Too bad I'm not suicidal. It would be so nice to just go to sleep and never wake up. All well. We just have to keep getting up every time life knocks us down. At least we can come here when we cannot get understanding and support from our family/friends.

Jeanette - things are ok (so far) with the little one with a medical issue. He was born with non-functioning kidneys and required a transplant - far more important than my trip, and I was more than willing to put my trip off for a few weeks so that they could focus on his recovery. My ex and I may have a somewhat contentious relationship, but I'm not a total a**hole. I miss my son terribly, but I can wait a few more weeks to see him.

Good job on the grocery shopping, Cap!

Butterfly...hang in there.....I wish I could offer more than that. It's all some of us can do sometimes.

Looking over things that have happened with mom in the past week or so, and it's very clear that the marked decline continues. (Of course, I knew this was going to happen, but some weeks it's just SO darn bad...)

In the past week, she's fallen asleep in the shower 3x in one shower period and I had to wake her up. Now THAT'S odd - she hates showering, but always says she feels better when it's done - it's just getting her IN the shower that we struggle with. (I want her to, she doesn't want to, etc.) She's never fallen asleep in there before. She's had a small sore just inside one of her nostrils and won't stop picking at it. She picks at it until it bleeds. I've kept after her about that and been putting vaseline on it to help it heal up and stay soft so it doesn't crust over and irritate her to the point that she picks at it - but she still does it and then gets insulted if I ask her to stop picking at it. Yesterday I mentioned that Thanksgiving was this week, and she said yes, she knew it was. Today, she asked if Thanksgiving was this week or next...and then asked if we could make her favorite cottage-cheese & fruit salad - something she's made for every holiday and family gathering for as long as I can remember. I told her I could make it, and she said she wanted to make it herself - then said she knew we would have to get mandarin oranges, but then went blank and asked me what else goes in it. That one really floored me.

(sigh)

book....Mama also began to have the breath issues and she had always taken excellent care of her teeth and since the one tooth had broken off at the gumline I had been worried since it happened. And then this....but thank God I found it. I am surprised that the Hospice folks didn't really look into that. I think dental issues are just not on their radar. Having this near disaster has made me realize how important it is to be an outspoken advocate even more for our loved ones we care for. Had I just sat here and accepted that it was just the normal decline to be expected, i fear it could have been the end for Mama. She was alert and talking to me for the first time in over two weeks this morning.....even had a cup of coffee, which means she really feels so much better...I can't even begin to tell yall how thankful I am....I feel like I can breathe again.. :)