I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
Outside on the front porch, many spider webs, I had to duck to get back in.
Told dH about it, he was oblivious, standing in the web.
I am realizing that I can no longer task my dH with a lot of things, both of us needing a break.
What that "break" looks like at my house, is me doing what he was doing so he can have a break.
Outside temps are in 3 digits now.
Instead of sweeping spiders, maybe decorating early for halloween with more spider webs. That way, no one will come up to my door, lol. I am just sick.
We've tried DE and recently started spraying cedar oil cause I've heard it will deter them from entering your domain. Before anyone says anything I know there are those who think it's useless but I'll try anything at this point.
There are so many flies this year too. Outside on our patio. I have to do a bug check every time I open the door. Summer sucks in a lot of ways. :P
My bright spot was the groceries were delivered on time this afternoon and for the most part were what I wanted.
I am enjoying the brightness of having no blinds. The plants will love it!🌿🌱☘.
Another thing that really works is to put a few bright, shiny pennies in a ziploc bag and hang it by the door. Keeps them out of the house great.
Moths and cedar spray really does work. I keep it on the door frames of the closets and they don't, so far, get into the closets.
Just some ideas from a person that doesn't do bugs in my space and will do just about anything to keep them away.
Good luck being rid of the pests.
Golden, one of those days! Hugs!
My youngest daughter is terrified of spiders. Several years back, a spider got into her car when she was leaving our home.
She noticed the spider when she was driving on the interstate and freaked out.
So, she pulls off and drives into a gas station and begs the employee to please get a spider out of her car. LOL 😆
Thankfully, the guy working at the gas station got the spider out of her car.
She called us before she pulled over to the gas station and was having a full blown panic attack.
Gershun,
I am with you. The flies are a pain if they come inside.
ITRR,
Interesting, about the pennies. I wonder why it works.
Golden,
I hope the rest of your day goes well.
Nacy,
I hope your mom feels better soon. Is your brother retired or still working?
In our area, Council on Aging provides shuttle buses to and from doctor appointments.
I always took Mom to the doctor because she couldn’t hear well and I needed to be there. She had one ear that she wasn’t able to get a hearing aid for. The other ear could only be helped slightly with a hearing aid.
If your brother is working two jobs, then he doesn’t have time to take mom.
If you find it is becoming too much for you to continually run around with your mom, tell your brother and your mom this.
Your mom can hire someone as a companion. I know a woman who did companion work for an older woman. It worked out well.
She took her to doctor appointments, hair appointments, grocery shopping, out to lunch or dinner, etc.
Need has a good idea .
Do you think your brother would be opposed to hired help for your Mom , even to be with her part time at home ?
Anyway , at some point your Mom won’t be able to live at home anymore based on what you have been saying .
Do you have any ideas of AL’s to suggest if/when “ it happens “ whatever that may be landing Mom in the hospital ? Since your brother most likely won’t .
Your bro will have to listen when she can’t walk anymore .
I get it , I dealt with Lo “ doesn’t have dementia “ naysayers too . It stinks .
Yeah, since he’s the golden child who has POA, your hands are tied. What a shame.
You will have to just stop then. Why do you continue to put up with this? Your mother and your brother need to accept that there's going to have to be outside hired help or your mother will have to go into assisted living. The best bet is probably to bypass homecare homecare and just put her in AL. If you want to try homecare first, you will have to neglect for a little so she and your brother will understand that you mean business and will not be doing this anymore.. Do not 'baby' your mother or cater to her. This always makes the situation worse. Get homecare. If she gets fussy or throws a tantrum about it because she only wants or will only "allow" you, let her. Give her the same choice I gave my mother. Either you make it work with the homecare aides or you get placed.
@NHWM
You know I usually agree with your good advice but I disagree with you about the Anxietynacy's brother. Having to work is not an excuse. Nor is it acceptable that he does nothing. The mother is his mother too. No excuse. If he can't put in companionship hours with his mother he can make arrangements for homemaker/companion service to go to his mother.
I work six days a week and arranged homecare for my mother. She knows that I am not at her beck and call anymore and my sister never was. She also knows that if she doesn't make it work with homecare, she gets placed and not placed in my home.
The brother can help arrange homecare.
I said the exact thing that you did. I suggested that they hire a companion or caregiver for her mom.
Maybe you didn’t see my previous post, where I said that I knew someone who was a companion to an elderly woman.
She took her to doctor appointments and other errands. It worked out well for them.
Of course, Nacy shouldn’t be overwhelmed with her mom’s needs.
Her mom and her brother are taking advantage of her kindness. Some people view kindness as weakness, and will push others past their limitations.
Nacy will have to tell them that it’s becoming too much.
Since her brother isn’t able to do these things himself, due to working long hours, then he can easily hire someone to help.
Nacy posted that her family doesn’t want to pay for any additional help.
Talk to your brother about having Council on Aging doing an assessment of your mother’s needs.
He may not be listening to you because you are his sister. He should listen to you but that may be what you are dealing with.
He might take things more seriously if he hears news from an outside source.
If you are the person taking your mom to the doctor appointments, why on earth would your mom and brother not want you to be on the emergency list.
So, an emergency happens and they call your brother. What is he going to do? He will end up calling you because he is at work!
Geeeeeez, I had myself and my brothers on my mom’s emergency list.
Did you ask your mom why she didn’t want you on the list? Do you want to be on the list or would you rather let your brother handle emergencies?
Give notice to your brother that you are not able to take Mom to her doctor appts any longer . That Mom’s mobility/balance
problems are too much for you to handle .
I would stay off the emergency list for now until Mom gets placed , so your brother will have to deal with the next emergency .
Call assisted living facilities in your mom’s area and have them send out brochures.
Place the brochures on the coffee table for him to see when he’s watching the Hallmark movies with your mom! Hee hee, 😛
Your mom’s house should be sold for her care. It isn’t your brother’s home.
Your brother should be concerned about your mom’s needs, rather than having his eye on her house. Is he the brother that has POA?
If you suspect that your mom has dementia, how capable is she of knowing what is best for her?
She may not agree to going to an assisted living facility. Her POA should be included in these conversations.
Try to stop making things so easy for your POA brother . Hopefully you can think of specific ways to dump some responsibilities on him . So far this is working out well for your brother which is why he’s not willing to do anything different .
Give him the next doctor appt date . Tell him you won’t be in town .
Since 2019, the year my bro fell ill I haven't had the guts to get the two buses, do the walk through a portion of the park (now closed to cars) just to GET to it, and then deal with the crowds and the cameras and all, but this year I talk myself into it.
I Arrive early, before "the ladies who do lunch". And after a round with the camera I have stamina for a second round without it, and THEN decide I can do one more exhibit yet a third time, one I really liked in a small gallery off to the side. Not knowing....................................
That way lies disaster.
So how it happens I cannot exactly tell you. I think BOTH of us mid 80s folk, me and the good doctor I took DOWN to the ground, were looking not where we were going or who was around, but at some spectacular floral arrangement.
I think we bounced off one another's shoulders. I think at 85 his balance was just four years worse than mine at 81 and he was the one who landed on the floor to the collective gasps of all.
Guards there immediately, taking the report, wheelchair called for, and his two KIND daughters comforting ME as much as him. (They were SO kind I could have sworn I was in the Midwest. Even in the South. ("We can see you're upset; is someone here with YOU? Would you like to come to lunch with us. These things happen. He will be fine. He's a doctor. Don't worry. Accidents happen. If you want to give me your number I will text you tomorrow to reassure you there's no damage done").
Meanwhile I cannot believe I just brought someone down to the floor in the middle of a crowded gallery, he has a small cut over his eye, he's hit his head and I am the one on AC daily admonishing you ALL that a fall is "often the beginning of the end". He cannot get up and is told not to try until the w/c comes. He is offered an ambulance and says he is fine, doesn't need that.
I just keep repeating "I am so sorry; I am so sorry".
I am telling you. I will be whining about this one for a while.
At least until I know he's OK.
Last thing the one daughter says to me is "I love your earrings; they are hand painted aren't they. They match your mask".
Yup. My home made earrings I haven't worn in years, worn now for this special celebration of my gutsy foray out into civilization.
Civilization is still there. And riskier than ever!
I arrived home to have N. telling Frieda the Foster "Your Foster mother just took down a DOCTOR, Frieda!" Take care.
I love your city. It’s beautiful and has so many interesting places to explore. I love Golden Gate Park.
The botanical garden there was lovely. It was the first time that I saw a black swan swimming in a pond. Gorgeous!
I have family in San Francisco and San Diego. My brother in law is a wonderful photographer, living in San Francisco and I have many photos of your area. I have a beautiful photo of your Palace of Fine Arts.
My cousin is a musician who lives in San Diego.
When I am visiting places I always ask the locals where to go. When we were in San Diego a man told us to visit the Museum of Man in Balboa Park. It’s a very nice museum! The name was later changed to Museum of Us. museumofus.org
I will tell you that the best museum here in my city is the WW11 museum on Magazine Street in the warehouse district. It’s phenomenal! Top notch museum nationalww2musuem.org
We also have a wonderful children’s museum. Louisiana Children’s Museum has relocated from the warehouse district to City Park. lcm.org
There a smaller museum in the French Quarter that is quite unique and fun to visit. It’s the New Orleans Pharmacy Museum, established in 1823. It’s on Chartres Street. pharmacymuseum.org
New York is a place to visit for museums! Love all of them.
The Garden District is lovely.
I don't think you appreciate what I DID in my own museum today.
You are giving me information on MORE MUSEUMS to go to.
Do you not understand that I have just taken down a doctor in my own museum.
It is entirely possible an ambulance is at this moment speeding away from the museum I just left with an all points bulletin listed for my apprehension.
And Nacy, while you may love the story, the entire gallery thought it quite appalling. I mean it was a massive collective gasp. A shocking sound. I was just lucky I did not take out this absolutely kind gentleman near one of those pillars with sharp edges. A platform. A precious painting. A massive flower display. Something WORSE.
I think you are underestimating the seriousness of my being allowed out and about in the city.
It's entirely possible I should be placed in facility care for the protections of "others".
That's ME! What about the good Doctor?
Your mishap sounds awful! It could have been ended even worse than it did. That must have been horribly shocking for you and those around you.
When I read the first sentence about your favorite museum, did you ask, ‘what’s yours?’ and then delete it? I thought I read that and that’s why I was posting about other museums.
Glad that the chicken revived you! Enjoy your chocolate! I’m glad that you’re okay.
have some potato chips too .
Glad you are Ok.
No guilt . It was an accident . For all you know the good doctor may be saying in his own head that he should not have gone out today either . But that’s silly because most falls happen at home anyway.
His daughters were taken that he's a doctor and I a nurse. I told them we are, nevertheless, no good together on the dance floor.
The daughters were so incredibly kind. One was hugging me.
And need, nope, I didn't write "what's yours!". I think that no museum will let me in for a while. I am likely on a nationwide banned list for now.
WaytoMisery, I will take you up on the chips. I just happen to have some T-Joe classics.
Geeeeez, Golden was complaining about her vertical blinds on her patio door falling down today, which is a nuisance but it pales in comparison to your event!
Okay, I misread the post then. My fault.
Go to Trader Joe’s and stock up on your favorites! Trader Joe’s has a great cheese selection too!
It’s been one of those weeks I guess .
My husband took out a deer with the car two days ago . DH never even saw it coming .
My younger brother hit a deer when he was living in North Carolina. He felt horrible about the deer. They do cause a lot of damage to a car when hit.
I had mentioned that I had done Trader Joe shop one day (requires a bus there; then I shop; divide up groceries in two bags and walk a good distance downhill with the bags--my cardiac workout). THEN gardening for hours, and noticed stepping on the uneven flagstones it was throwing my balance. Yes, stamina goes down. I pride myself that I was the one still standing, in my latest, however, ha ha. Remember, I wasn't the one to go down here; I simply took the good doctor out.
My Reddit story was asking cwillie, who's a fan, why she likes R. because I had some very odd questions and answers on it. I think that was more a yahoo news flash on some of the funnier postings from Reddit. cwillie says that any number of them are quite sane there, and she likes it overall. I have never really tried it. Facebook, AC, and Nextdoor (minimally) are about all I can do, as staying on the computer too much will add to spinal stenosis!
I will update all when I know the good doctor is OK (he's likely muttering "GD nurses! Always a pain; never watch where they're going!" And I wouldn't blame him a bit.)
Trader Joe is the only shopping trip I do on my own. If we do Safeway (which I dislike and seldom do except to stock up on Rao's sauce on sale--arrabriata hot) or Costco we do it together and with the car. I no longer drive. Do the buses but N. still does drive. I am lucky in not driving as I am more active and more on my feet because of it.
I wear comfy shoes when I walk now.
Sometimes, I think about when I was young and walked all over in high heels! 👠 Never bothered me.
Youth! We could do so many things when we were young. I walked all over. Rode the buses and street cars, rode my bicycle for miles and miles.
I don’t remember even getting very tired when I was young. When we are young, we are in great shape.
At 68 years old now, there is no way that I am wearing high heels anymore!