I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
I need to wear them for pictures , I’m short .
I can see wearing them for special occasions when we are dressed up, just not on a daily basis. I am short too.
And flip flops in the summer. I lived in those as a kid. Now, I hate something in between my toes like that. 😝
Some flip flops are really fancy now. They are cute. My youngest daughter has some cute ones.
The good doctor has a few years on you, and is likely saying:
"I don't know what happened. One minute I was reaching out to grab this beautiful younger woman in yellow, like a flowery vision, and the next I'm on the floor!" "Do you think she smacked me?"
So, Alva.
No one has banned you, no one will be taking you away (even though that would be the easy way out of aging).
You collided, along with an elderly 85 y.o. man, who was a doctor, and he fell.
You were being very brave just to go on this outing, and remembering it has been a long time since your brother was ill, and passed--since you were able to attend this favourite event.
Ah, I see now that you did not go down?
In the meantime, take a rest commensurate with the age you are feeling like right now. Be kinder to yourself-an accident that was no one's fault.
You will still have carefree moments, times you may feel younger than today!
It's not over for you.
Let us know how you are doing later, and tomorrow. Thanks for telling us, who care, about your crowded museum incident.
And, of course, we care about the good doctor too.
Next time, take a taxi home, not a bus. You are worth it, imo.
Hugs, many hugs.
No , I normally wear a sandal with a small one inch wedge for my back .
My daughters love Birkenstock shoes. I usually buy Skechers for walking.
I only wear nice shoes when I dress up for special occasions.
And, oh, no I sure didn't go down. I sent HIM, down, the poor guy.! I PERSONALLY feel GREAT other than a bit shocked to be reminded just how easily those of us in our 80s can go down! And how little bounce we have.
I was kidding about being banned. Better entities than museums have tried to ban me. It never works. I do think perhaps the guards are warned about me. Like "watch that gal in the blue jeans and flowered mask; she is taking them down as she goes".
I actually felt very well, other than a bit teary in that while staring at lovely flowers and paintings I failed to notice the doctor. And then his daughters were so danged nice to me they made me cry a bit more. Not the boo hoo, you know, just the tears sliding down thing.
I was in fact congratulating myself on being on my third round of the entire show, having clicked dozens of pictures and enjoyed a round camera free, having used the stairs rather than the elevators, having worn my best blue jeans and black teeshirt WITH my handmade earrings. I was in quite the celebratory mood until I leveled the good doctor. Having said to myself "You are a member! Why aren't you here once a week! And why am I not. Such a marvelous open and beautiful place.
He surely is disliking nurses even MORE now than generally doctors do, and in SF they generally do dislike us because we are overall very mouthy and naughty due to very strong unions which allow us to pretty much advocate for our patients no matter what the doctors say or do.
I am going to just watch a bit better where I am going I think. When I am going.
Nacy, my brother lived his life in nothing but Birkies. I do think at some age he needed, for his balance, more support, but he never listened to me. His balance was trashed by Lewy's, but he didn't live long enough at 85 to ever fall from it. Or anything else. Sure looked like a drunken sailor there toward the end, but always managed to correct for lean quickly enough.
I don't WALK. I pretty much HIKE. So I wear Hokas. A lovely wife toe pan, great support, and they just go and go and go. Getting close on to about two hundred for them ,but boy do they last. I swear by them. So I am barefoot at home, Hokas on the street.
I even have the foam type Birks for the beach & 'nice' lacy Skechers for going out 😁
Travelled Tasmania with heavy hiking boots the first time. Never again. Last trips packed 2x Skechers. Washed out the mud & dried over a heater.
Backwards . Maybe if he did that before he wouldn’t need Trulicity.
Anyway , last month he went for his yearly diabetic foot check at the podiatrist, who cut calluses off both feet for the first time and gave DH a 10% coupon for new sneakers and sent DH to a running store for more appropriate walking sneakers .
He said the owner helped him . She made him walk and she watched how his foot hits the ground to decide which was the right sneaker for him .
My daughter is a runner , she’s gone to this store as well for her running footwear . They helped her as well. She has flat feet and her ankles turn in . She said it’s a Mom and Pop store . And it’s right near my house .
I have always gone barefoot at home.
I kick off my shoes as soon as I get inside.
My husband is a slipper kind of guy. I am not a slipper kind of gal. My daughters love slippers.
My daughter was buying shoes for a school dance and she asked for platform shoes. They weren’t like the platforms that I wore as a teenager. They were ridiculously high!
I told her that she could never walk in those, much less dance in them. She said, “Mom, everyone dances barefoot.”
Apparently, they just wear them for a short while before they take them off.
I'm relieved you're not hurt, and good for you going to the museum.
I love San Francisco. Fisherman's Wharf and Chinatown were two of my favorite places in the world when I lived there for a bit. I especially love Golden Gate park. I have not been there in many years and from what I see on tv of it, I hope it's not as bad all that.
@Need
If I had to choose what city to me had the greatest art museums and world antiquity to see, I have go with Rome. I think I'd have to go for a year to explore and see all of it properly.
I do love the Smithsonian museums in Washington, DC also. I've been to DC several times and have not seen half of them.
My DD said to me "Mom, did you ever think he could have bumped into YOU" and honestly I never did, but he could have. I guess the many cameras would tell if they could tell ANYTHING in those crowds; I doubt they could. He said to the guard "I tripped and fell" and I said "I think I felt out shoulders bump and I saw him go down. I honestly don't know.
Worrisome to me is that the exceptionally KIND KIND daughter who took my number promised to send me a text today telling me he is OK and it is 1 pm and I don't have it. I know she would not forget about this. And that means me think he could be hospitalized, could be hurt. I think if I don't hear ANYTHING by tonight I will have to think that my partner N. is correct that in all the hullabaloo she wrote down the number wrong. She did the first time and then went to put it in again.
I would feel so reassured to think he is OK, because honestly it is about all I can think about regarding this visit. I have pictures I haven't even downloaded to my Facebook and have instead just downloaded some pictures others took.
Alas.
I will let you all know if I hear anything. The truth is it is no place for old folks like us, but the other truth is that with the flower exhibit most of us who GO are OLD.
If the doc says he tripped maybe that’s the reason you bumped shoulders .
Don’t look to fabricate self blame .
Take his statement that he tripped at face value .
N. says they are probably consulting their attorney and the cops will be at the door soon. He is trying to keep the mood light; I will continue to garden and hope I will hear. Otherwise this is something I have to let go of without knowing. I should have taken the number myself. Like I said, it was an overall mess.
She said--this psychologist "You can take all the people in the entire world and divide them up into two lines.
One line thinks they are responsible FOR EVERYTHING
and the other line thinks they are responsible for NOTHING. I am going to figure which line you go into, but will tell you that the line with those who think they are responsible for EVERYTHING???
THEY are the easiest ones to treat".
I never forgot her. She shook me up and she shook up my world. She taught me so much and helped me to heal.
OK, so I don't KNOW who knocked who over here.
But the doc and I aren't going dancing any time soon.
And I do hope to hear he's OK. For all I know he could have stoked out right there before the bouquets.
LORDY!!!!!!
I recognized it right away !
I am/was ( depending on the day )
one of those that feels responsible for EVERYTHING .
That’s how I ended up caregiving !!
I highly recommend taking something you no longer want and taking it out to the garage or outside and smashing it .
Put it in a trash bag first .
Id love to go
I think I never had a whole lot of anger in me. I have known many times when I could not understand, when I was curious, when I wished I had answers or understanding, but I cannot remember a lot about anger. Not ever. And I guess that means I lived a really lucky life, then. I remember when my second marriage failed, a man I was so in love with, and someone asked my Dad why I wasn't angry. And he said "The kid doesn't love many people, but once she loves them she isn't able to stop that".
Loved that man, who, even when I was in my 50s, called me "the kid". He was such a QUIET man, gentle, and so into "observing". Fascinated with others, but not "partaking" and mostly observing.
I think if there is such a thing, he was a very OLD SOUL. Very advanced. Very without judgement of others. Always said "most people are just trying to take care of themselves and those they love". Would excuse wrong-doing (to my mind) way too often with that.
Rage? There is so much I cannot understand. But rage? I can't understand that either. I guess --were I attacked-- were one I LOVED attacked, THEN I could understand blind rage to hit back. Automatically.
It is a fascinating question.
I don't really need to beat anything.
I just long to understand.
You were lucky to have parents like that .
Instead of dealing with a narcissist ( diagnosed by the way ) mother who chose you to be her slave caregiver from a young age .
My rage during caregiving was mostly over my own failure to realize sooner that I should have broken free from Mom’s grip much earlier in my life . By the time I realized , it was too late. Mom was an old widow with dementia .
I don’t have rage for others either .
Caregiver rage can be rage because of the stress , grief , exhaustion , etc of the situation . It does not have to be directed at a specific person .
Finding outlets for stress , anger , rage , prevents people from taking it out on others .
Hubby and I play hockey. It burns off stress. And some cookies.
I did it a few times after particularly bad days with my mother.
You smash it you throw it away . It put closure on the day .
I would like to try the smash room for fun .
And I should really clarify my last post . I don’t think I ever approached the emotion of “ Rage “ . It was more anger , sadness , grief and stress, depression .
Rage is more violent , loss of control .
I was very in control when I decided to take an item to the garage to smash a few times . I had read it can be calming .
I agree .
The alliteration “ Rage Room “ makes it catchy .
But it’s a controlled smash room .
The thought of those hatchet throwing places to me is scary . You throw hatchets at a target on a wall I think , like playing darts . There is one by me that is BYOB. That’s a bad combination , booze and hatchets.
If we don't vent, we will blow and that is not healthy for us or our loved ones. So find anything, not drugs, alcohol or food, they just cause more pressure on ourselves, and release that pressure and take care of yourselves starting today!