I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
I'm sorry to hear that. It sounds like many of them just used her.
Yes sharing in relationships is healthy but only as the relationship is healthy.
I don't talk about my caregiving experiences at all on FB. I just don't get why that popped up. Luckily, it isn't all that much. I will say I've seen some random posts making note of enjoying your parents while you still have them. I won't object to those and I do hope those aren't signs my mom is a lot closer to the end that I expect.
And for those who talk positively about their caregiving experiences, either they were able to endure far more easily than people on here have or they're lying through their teeth, unless they're so far removed from caregiving that they've completely forgotten the numerous negatives they had to put up with.
It won't be right after my mom passes, but after an unknown amount of time passes, I'll be telling it like it is on FB to those talking highly about their caregiving era.
I find it very sad that others can not see that their experience is not others and try to make those of us with hateful parents feel bad. They will likely be a pleasure for their children, not.
And I just want to add - my mom was probably my best friend yet I still would never call any part of that experience rewarding, I think traumatizing is a more appropriate word 🤔
I have to say, I would be traumatized watching my best friend slowly, painfully lose themselves. You were indeed blessed to have that relationship with your mom.
I hope everyone has as calm and peaceful a day (or hours) as possible today.
Don't rush me.
I'm waiting until the last minute.
She said "oh I hate to ask him he's so busy with Susan (his mother in law who is currently in a rehab post hospital)".
I lost it. I said "you know you're his mother, why is everyone so concerned with Jimmy's time!". Felt badly after as she is just a few days home from the hospital but with that I've been running point on all post hospital appointments for home health and follow up etc and as you know it's a LOT.
The thing is my brother doesn't mind or push back at all in anything I ask of him for help but in my parents' mind he's oh so busy and we can't bother him yet I can be bothered at any time of day or night for any question. Grrrrrr....
My counselor assigned me homework this week three hours of uninterrupted self care time. 🤗
nacy - I'm glad you are holding your boundaries. Sis used to lie to mother about me, then mother raged at me. It was pretty unpleasant. Enjoy the "feel good".
My whine - my dishwasher gave up the ghost, and the fridge is showing it's age. They are 20 yrs old so it's not surprising. I had already looked for what I to get to replace the kitchen appliances. Now to order them and organize as it will be a bit of an upheaval. especially emptying the fridge. I'm collecting cardboard boxes for that purpose. Any tips are welcome. Replacing the stove is the easiest and the place I am buying from hauls the old ones away free right now,
Anti-whine. Got a new kitchen tap, (the old one was leaking); got the garburator removed and new sinks put in - deep, granite, 60/40 ,(which I had back at the house) allhx to R) Slowly I will get the kitchen up to speed. Even new sinks make a big difference!😊
At least it’s cold . You can put your food outside in the boxes temporarily . I had to do this for two weeks in tne winter one year waiting for a new fridge .
nacy - glad you are keeping your boundaries. Sorry about your back. If this continues I'd go to your doc or ER. Back pain -kidneys???
From the internet - Back pain accompanied by vomiting can be a symptom of several conditions, including kidney stones, gallbladder issues (like gallstones), pancreatitis, appendicitis, a urinary tract infection, abdominal aortic aneurysm, or a herniated disc; if experiencing these symptoms, seeking medical attention is advised, especially if accompanied by fever, severe pain, or other concerning symptoms
Aaargh - In setting up my new and supposedly cheaper service I paid twice for my cell phone bill - once by cc that they insisted on and then a couple of weeks later they withdrew the same amount by my pre authorized bill payment.
So I had a credit and now the downable bill says I owe that same amount again. The email says I have that amount as a credit. Who to believe?
I called and got the first amount refunded to my cc so we are quits but I have no confidence that they won't withdraw that full amount again.
Trying tyo contact the account specialists. I will tell them they have false information on my bill and I want it corrected. Wish me luck!!!
You are so right about back pain. Pain is often referred to the back. In my own bout with diverticulitis that's exactly where it went and the docs had a devil of a time thinking it was kidney, I must have passed a stone, and etc.
Referred pain is one of the WORST things. The sciatic nerve in the back has tiny branches into the groin and can cause groins pain.
All this is why as thorough a history of you give of any pain is SO CRUCIAL to getting the right diagnosis.
Whether it is sharp or dull
Whether it is constant or intermittent
Worse with movement or better
With meals, after meals.
And on and on and on. A.I. when told ALL SYMPTOMS clearly, is actually better than doctors at diagnosing the problems, they are saying.
nacy - I get back pain for some gut issues. Never for anything else.
Speaking of which my ileocecal valve pain has flared up again. Pain but no diarrhea, Massage, Imodium and anti-inflammatories got rid of it in a couple of days. Increased carb intake helps. Go figure!
Hoping to have a productive call with the cell phone people today and get my account sorted out.
"I can assure you that this won't happen again".
Yeah, right. That's what I was told last time.
I said I wanted a correct copy of my last months bill showing the amount I actually owe - not back charges which have been paid. He said he will send a paper copy. I asked if he could email it and he said no. That's a laugh. I will get it in 12 business days. We'll see.
Then I said I am not impressed that such a large company cannot keep their billing straight and asked to speak to someone above him. He hung up.
I think I will cancel my preauthorized payment method until I see that the bills are correct.
Psue - I think of you often too and hope you and hub are doing OK all things considered. Check in and update us when you can.
You too, Eva!!!
19 minutes after my "allotted" time, and turning my phone back on there's the text . Nothing horrible. Just making sure he had the new stove on right, which I'm glad he's checking, and oh we need an extension cord. And "your brother stopped by but he only stayed 10 minutes" . Yah if I had the choice that's how long I'd stay too.
It just sucks not being able to be anything other than a caretaker. Just really hit me the wrong way tonight. It's depressing as hell..
Ok pity party over. Time for White Lotus. Maybe I'll get through the whole episode without a call or text.
Margaret - the heat sounds oppressive and the snakes scary. Hope it cools down soon
Nacy - sorry about your walking partner. Yeah, we get used to our own weather challenges.
It's almost funny watching the Amazon driver driving around in circles. He is obviously lost which is strange in this day of satnav. He's been north of us, east of us and is now south of us in a dead end street. This has been going on for at least an hour and he has actually never been more than 10 minutes drive away since the tracking map came up. I wonder if he will get here today.
I got apologies from my cell phone carrier over the bad customer service and assurances that the agents would be dealt with and that I didn't owe them anything. I let buddy know I was extremely unimpressed by the "service". I had asked for a corrected copy of my bill and was told what was sent was a copy of what I already have and they charged me for it. He reversed that and explained that the lag in the system caused the original problem and if I had waited it would have worked out. I told him if the first guy I had talked to had explained rather than pushing me to make a cc payment we wouldn't be in this mess. Obviously the first agent doesn't know his job. I also got a $15 off my next bill. Not much, but something.
My gripe today, if I can be so gruesome, is to say I was at the ER today with my mom who has dementia. She’s been acting quite a bit nuttier than normal following an oral surgery, so I wanted her checked for a UTI. I witnessed her poop on the floor several times and didn’t realize she decided to go commando today. Poor choice. No UTI thankfully, but I may need therapy and strong adult beverages. Thx for letting me whine.
My whine today is my new Bosch dishwasher. With all it's electronics it could probably fly me to the moon, but I can't get it to start washing dishes. When it's plugged in everything lights up including a cute red warning light somewhere low down, but I can't choose any individual command. Checked with oldest son who sold appliances for years and followed his suggestion as well as all the trouble shooting ones I could find online to no effect.
R installed it with no trouble other than making endless trips to the hardware stores to find the right-fitting connector for the old copper pipe to the new flex hose. The usual ones didn't work.
Son says call a technician.
I hate these complicated appliances. Like who really needs to turn on their dishwasher remotely while watching TV. I don't have Alexa and don't plan to get her. All I want is an ON button and a few choices. That's it, but I'm not sure that is possible anymore. And I didn't see that air dry was a choice!!! I always air dry.
Unfortunately the one I had chosen was not available right way (despite what they said on the web site), so I chose this one quickly at the agent's suggestion without doing any research. I know B is a good make for dishwashers and I wanted it to last. Oh well. Time to make a call for a tech and do yet another load of dishes by hand. My fingernails are suffering.
Go down to get the Prius and it's computerized screen is saying everything but "do you want a date with me". Car won't start. N. takes key away after shutting down, and turns back on and it DOES start. We go to Trader Joe and get a shipload of groceries, five bags full. And in the lot it WON'T start and the screen is being even MORE insane. I tell N. to shut it off and restart like last time and he's afraid to turn it off, that it won't come on. We are close to calling triple AAA to have it hauled to dealership when finally he does shut it down, and restart and it starts. Now we make our terrified way home hoping it doesn't do something else.
When home we call a nearby repair as we are afraid to turn car off. The guy says "Can't do diagnostic until tomorrow, but bring her over and at least it's here for us; 200.00 to do diagnostic."
We are pretty certain this will cost a bundle and don't even know if reputable repair place, but at least close.
Want to know what it was? Recently --about three months ago it needed new batter and that WAS installed by Triple AAA when it wouldn't go. About time for the change so there you are.
Well, apparently they didn't sit it securely and perfectly on the stanchions there for it. So it would wobble, the whole battery, had come loose, and was therefore sending bonkers love letters to us and stalling out.
GREAT.
He charged us only 100.00 because he never even had to run diagnostics, that's how honest THIS guy was!
Rare.
But, Lordy, remember when you lifted the hood and your grandson fixed whatever was loose?
So pi$$ed about copilot showing it's nose into my writing in Word. You have to do so many more clicks just to clear it off. There must be a way to turn off copilot but I haven't looked for it yet. Ah, just found I have to uninstall it. OK! Done!
Yes of course, cw. As I wrote below, I followed all the steps suggested online for troubleshooting, which were limited as all the lights lit up and I couldn't choose any one function. Nothing happened when I pressed any one of them. All we could do was a reset with the power button which turned the lights off of a while then they all came on again. We unplugged at son's suggestion and repowered after 10 mins but it made no difference. He was flummoxed and suggested getting a tech. That I will do shortly. I'm just done for a while with dealing with it. There are other things in life besides dishwashers!
I've forgotten what it's like to have a normal sleeping pattern.
Any idea why that disappeared???
I looked in activity log and my answer doesn't show as having been given so seems it was completely removed. By time I got to it Nacy and Way, several others had already answered.
Seemed innocent enough to me? What don't I know. (I know. I know. A LOT).