I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
No. What we have learned is that people who are "challenged" and are on their way out still have cravings for tasty things...thing you or I may not be able to fulfill, but they are there just the same. Part of me cries because they may not remember you or me...but yet they still remember that flavor/taste/smell. All you or I can do is try our best to recreate those flavors/tastes/smells for them. If we can't...then just say so.
It is never going to catch on, not in the classier cocktail bars anyway.
Had to chuckle regarding the discharge papers, especially where it says after 24 hours you can go back to your normal activities.... say what?... whomever wrote this form sheet never had this surgery, and/or maybe if I was 40 years younger I would be able to bounce back that quickly. I feel like something the cat dragged in. No going back to work tomorrow and the next day.
Of course, the day after my sugery, my Dad [93] fell in his garage. My sig other didn't want leave me home alone but I told him go see what is going on. Apparently my Dad had fallen a hour prior and laid there the whole time, Mom didn't hear him call for help. Dad is doing ok now. Since it was a nice sunny day, I bet my Dad wanted to go outside to mulch some leaves with his lawn mower. Dad doesn't like all those leaves on his front yard but he refuses to pay someone to do the work. I had a landscaping service out recently who mulched all the leaves... whew, now one less worry for myself. Wish Dad would realize he can no longer do that type of work, but he's stubborn.
I just hate wintertime too. Wait, in South Florida I didn't hate it, I loved it. Now I hate it. (imagine my ears laid back and eyes are slits) cold, dark n gray. No colors. Plus side is the Christmas lights look pretty at night, especially in a light fog. Meh...
We stopped by my p/t carer's apt yesterday to see her tree. OMG I didn't know such clean tidy places existed anymore :0 not a speck to be seen, nothing out of place and and .... guess who has been viciously cleaning all day while mom marathons? Yip, me. Why bother though since it will be a short week until it's back to clutter as usual. Really think a few giant garbage bags will do the trick or lots of boxes ... then a mega garage sale in Spring :)
anyway , while she cleaned the dump up i got my end of year tax ledger all ready to go . im not lazy or a procrastinator , there are just things that matter to me and things that dont .
Not fair is right! hehe, by the 3rd night of respite care and you feel like maybe you can sleep.... they come home! LOL! Not that I would know.... I'm just sure it's gotta be one of those "Murphy's Law" phenomenons.
She's still going.... hasn't sat for 2 minutes this entire day, much less last night. Wow. I'm impressed.
Jeanette, geez, I wish your mom would find a place to light and stay there, for your sake! I know that has to be nerve-wracking, keeping an eye out for where she's at all the time.
Our house is a HUGE mess right now. All I've been able to do for the past week is keep my head above water with the laundry and that's it. So now I'm scrambling to get dishes done, and having to negotiate the obstacle course caused by all the storage totes of stuff from the Christmas party last weekend, which are stacked in the kitchen, which is as far as I got when I hauled them in. Tomorrow should be a fairly slow work day, so I'll tackle the consolidation of the Christmas party stuff down into fewer totes and put them away for another year, get all the dishes cleaned up, do a little food prep for the week and try to get the house in order again. Still don't have the tree up or all the Christmas decor up yet either...just not really in the mood, but I need to do it for mom. And Christmas cards to send out. I'm back out of the doldrums and raring to go...glad to be back. I hate feeling like that, but I think it happens to the best of us from time to time. I just needed to get out of the house for a while, I think.
Spent 3 hours helping a friend with their computer issues tonight. Got them through 3 forgotten passwords, set up a few "housekeeping" type programs for them and cleaned up viruses, adware and malware on 2 computers. My good deed quota is filled for the week, I think!
Glad the doldrums left Susan! No rush trying to get the house cleaned up... if it's like mine, it will look exactly the same in a few days! I hated to cook dinner my kitchen was so clean.... grrr
Yes pamz, mom takes agitation meds. This is not an every day occurrence... maybe twice weekly. It does keep her fit and trim and fully exercised, cept it swells her legs n feet up. When she finally crashes I elevate them and they go back to normal. It may seem nerve wracking... it IS a lot easier than entertaining her hours on end every day. She entertains herself. Please don't take it as me being harsh... I did get a lot done today. Other than knocking her out with drugs... this is just the way it is on some days. Yes, I keep all 6 eyes on her... mine and 2 dogs that is. We all make sure she's safe.
Has anyone tried the "weighted blanket"? It's used for Autism as a sensory tool. They are so darn expensive though.... I'd love to try one on mom at night to see if it helps eases her fears so she can sleep better, and ME! It might be worthwhile for me to buy a used sewing machine and make my own d*mn blankie?
Oh, she had a very filling dinner and desert... she's still up n going. I, on the other hand, am getting sleepy as heck.
Susan, my tubs are stacked in the mud room.... seems like I just move this crap from space to space :/
hope? haven't heard from you in awhile. How are you doing and how's your lovely mama? check in girl....
Being over 70 does not give you any more rights to agression than you have now.
Take yourself back and learn to say "No" don't do anything unless it will not adversely affect you. Choose a few things she actually wants to do like visit the beauty shop and tell her you don't feel like going out and give her the phone number of a taxi service or someone you know who would like to make a little extra money by giving her a ride. Things she needs to do like PT and dr visits you may just have to grin and bear it. Consider yourselt free to become a b**ch begining today. No warning outsmart the old trout. She is very smart so keep one step ahead of her. You managed that with difficult patients so practise what you spent years learning.
Then she says that this is my house -- talking about me -- and I was going to live here until I died. I had to speak up at that point. Her boundaries between her and me are totally gone. I told her it was her house and her life.
The chewing criticism got worse at that point. She told me I owed her because she gave life to me. At this point I decided it was best to leave her to watch her TV in her house and continue to live her miserable life. I have to say that I did little to bring on this nastiness, other than not having the Christmas tree up yet. Some people are just too ugly inside.
I gave Mom the Christmas cards today and a pen and told her to have at it. She went through and signed both of our names on all of them, so all I have to do is address them and get them in the mail. One more thing off my list.
Speaking of the list - I sat down and updated the list that's been sitting on my desk for a week now, and holy cow - I think I must have been brain dead for the past week, because I have a ton of stuff to do now, some of which should have been done already. Time to catch up.
Mom and I had a talk today about the need to hire help to come in and take care of her when I'm not here - like when I go to visit my son for a few days. It's become very clear that just having someone come check on her a few times a day just isn't going to cut it. She agrees she needs someone to help her. Tonight was a perfect example - she took a shower today (really didn't want to, and tried to tell me, "I talked myself out of it" once she was in the bathroom - but she DID shower) - and came out in her nightgown after the shower, with no underwear/incontinence pad on. She always does this - says she needs to "dry off" before getting dressed. I give her about 20 minutes before telling her she needs to finish getting dressed. Tonight, she walked towards the bathroom to get dressed, stopped at the doorway and said, "What am I doing? Going to take a shower?" - I reminded her that she was already showered, just needed to get her undies and such on. "Oh! Ok" she says....
As frustrated as I get with her sometimes, I'm glad that I can speak candidly with her about her future - at least *that* part of things is relatively easy to deal with, and I know she understands. I just hope that when the time actually comes, she really *does* understand the need for placement in a home. I'm not foolish enough to think that it's going to be an easy move, or that she's going to be completely accepting of it - but I just hope that the decision will be taken out of my hands by nature - that there will be some event that forces the issue, rather than me having to make that decision just because I can't provide the care she needs anymore.
If I could get away with it, I'd slip my tree into an unused room, toss a sheet over it and come next year - voila`! Pretty d*mn genius and nothing to be embarrassed about. Using your time wisely ;)
It's been pretty quiet here today. She was up most, if not all, of the night again. I'd put her to bed, put soft Christmas music on and within 27 seconds POP...up and out again. Rinsed n repeated so many times I lost count... finally secured everything and went to bed. She was up standing at the foot of her bed in the corner at 7:30 this morning, so .... after a nice washing up and breakfast followed by morning meds she crashed. I will wake her for an early dinner, warm sleepy time tea and she will sleep the entire night. As awful as it sounds, it works. Most meds leave her a mumbly Zombie...so as long as this alternative route is working and I can stand it, we shall keep trying.
Susan, did you ever make the weighted blanket? I've watched several DYI video's and it doesn't look too hard, just time consuming filling then sewing all those squares... I do think it would be helpful with the secure feeling at night?
Guess I should finish up the tree while she's sleeping. Or take a long nap. Or watch whatever I want on tv. Already spotified the kitchen/living room... detest laundry so that's a big NO... hmmm. Decisions decisions. Nap/TV and Ellen Degeneres 12 days of giveaways it is!
I hope you can have a peaceful night - heck, I hope that for all of us!
I've been running full tilt all day today, bouncing between work for my clients and "the list". Got the living room curtains up, called for water delivery and received that, called our local agency on aging to request a caregiver list (they do background checks, etc on them before referring them), paid a few bills, washed the dog's bed cover (which is now dirty again, thanks to 50 degree temps and rain today), washed the living room windows, cleaned out the van, washed it and detailed the inside, including the windows and did 4 loads of laundry (thanks Mom). Going to try to knock out a few more things on the list yet tonight, but have a couple hours of work to do for my clients first.
I suppose I'll crash somewhere around 2am. Good thing I don't get days like this very often, or Mom would definitely outlive me! lol
Oh my gosh...Mom just got up and said she dreamed that she robbed the bank downtown of $2400. Why? She didn't know - "I guess I needed the money!" she said. I asked if there was a weapon involved, but she couldn't remember - all she knew was she robbed the bank! Life is never dull....I guess I should be glad she's not driving anymore, Lord only knows what she'd get up to!
I received an email from Coursera that John Hopkins will be starting in January 12 for a 5 week course. It's titled: Living with Dementia: Impact on Individuals, Caregivers and Societies.
Based on their previous course, they now have structured this upcoming course to ensure that everyone benefits (to me, the first course was more aimed for the Professional caregivers.) This upcoming one includes healthcare practitioners, family caregivers or anyone interested. FYI, despite the first course leaning more towards the professionals, I learned a LOT from it.
Well, I'm off to send an email of this to my social worker. Our monthly caregiver's meeting is this coming Saturday. I won't be attending so hopefully she can relay it to the others.
FYI, I did not complete it the first course last year. I only joined so that I can learn about dementia. OMGoodness! There was a wealth of videos and more videos of personal accounts/journeys, how to respond to "I want to go home", etc... I'm planning to do the same with this upcoming course. Since I'm not going for a certificate, the course is FREE.