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What have we learned by this? Nothing, sadly ...except never to cook so then you don't have to hear people whine when it's not good enough, etc. No.

No. What we have learned is that people who are "challenged" and are on their way out still have cravings for tasty things...thing you or I may not be able to fulfill, but they are there just the same. Part of me cries because they may not remember you or me...but yet they still remember that flavor/taste/smell. All you or I can do is try our best to recreate those flavors/tastes/smells for them. If we can't...then just say so.
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Hobbesmom: I used to cook double meals so I could bring my parents a homecooked meal. My mom refuses to cook and hasn't since my Dad retired in 1995. They went out twice a day to dine. After he died 8 years ago, she is only interested in dining out.. nothing home cooked. A home cooked meal to her is takeout from anywhere. Fine by me. She never appreciated my meals. She was jealous that my Dad loved them so much. I'd bake for her.. and she'd rave about some bakery item someone dropped off to her. So now I do the same.. drop off bakery items. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. She's fine now going out to dine once every week or so with me, but daily? NOT happening! She'll call me with guilt trips about having to eat a sandwich for dinner... her choice. I tell her to open a can of soup to go along with the sandwich. Or call for takeout delivery. I'm lucky she's still able to care for herself. But I can see the handwriting on the wall and I'm staving it off for as long as I can... cuz when the time comes... I'm IT!!!!! I'm so lucky to have found this website. You caregivers... should all be sainted someday.
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Susan! - that is genuinely :-P

It is never going to catch on, not in the classier cocktail bars anyway.
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i just hate wintertime . even after 25 yrs in construction it never gets easier . i feel like i should be outside kicking things around but if one looks around NOBODY is outside kicking things around . i do things much differently than a " tinkerer " . i tend to get the right things staged in the right place and then hit it like a typhoon , essentially so i can go back to lying in the shade and lickin my n*ts . i shouldnt feel so bad about it . a lot of the animal kingdom operates that way . maybe thats why a lion is so ferocious . hes thinking " man if i have to do this , something is gonna die " .
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Well, had my kidney stone surgery this past Thursday... oh my gosh the surgery was 2 hours long.... now a days you get discharged to go home the very same day... with in 2 hours of surgery... to the care of someone who is totally clueless how to be Florence Nightingale or Dr. Welby..

Had to chuckle regarding the discharge papers, especially where it says after 24 hours you can go back to your normal activities.... say what?... whomever wrote this form sheet never had this surgery, and/or maybe if I was 40 years younger I would be able to bounce back that quickly. I feel like something the cat dragged in. No going back to work tomorrow and the next day.

Of course, the day after my sugery, my Dad [93] fell in his garage. My sig other didn't want leave me home alone but I told him go see what is going on. Apparently my Dad had fallen a hour prior and laid there the whole time, Mom didn't hear him call for help. Dad is doing ok now. Since it was a nice sunny day, I bet my Dad wanted to go outside to mulch some leaves with his lawn mower. Dad doesn't like all those leaves on his front yard but he refuses to pay someone to do the work. I had a landscaping service out recently who mulched all the leaves... whew, now one less worry for myself. Wish Dad would realize he can no longer do that type of work, but he's stubborn.
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Your Dad didn't expect you to drive him to the doctor's for a check-up, then? Well that's something! - even your parents are cutting you a tiny bit of slack, so take advantage and take proper care of yourself, promise. Hope the recovery goes smoothly, cautious hugs (minding any sore bits). Glad he's ok, too.
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Hey ff, glad you made it home safe n sound and ... of course, dad is ok! Scary when they fall and you find them. D*mn stubborn ole fools! :)))
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I can't remember when I had a good, decent, sound and refreshing sleep. What is it like? Sleeping with one ear, one eye and the door open is exhausting... mom has been on yet another marathon pace - since yesterday - I kid you not. Her little feeties just march along until she comes to a corner and can't figure out how to get out of it, yet, those feeties keep marching in place. Then the talking starts... I finally gave up around 4:00 a.m., secured everything I could think of and just let her be marching to her own drum. She is the energizer bunny... just keeps going and going. I kept hearing her talking - even in my so called sleep I hear her.

I just hate wintertime too. Wait, in South Florida I didn't hate it, I loved it. Now I hate it. (imagine my ears laid back and eyes are slits) cold, dark n gray. No colors. Plus side is the Christmas lights look pretty at night, especially in a light fog. Meh...

We stopped by my p/t carer's apt yesterday to see her tree. OMG I didn't know such clean tidy places existed anymore :0 not a speck to be seen, nothing out of place and and .... guess who has been viciously cleaning all day while mom marathons? Yip, me. Why bother though since it will be a short week until it's back to clutter as usual. Really think a few giant garbage bags will do the trick or lots of boxes ... then a mega garage sale in Spring :)
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Jeanette, what had me screeching with frustration is that it seems to take at least three nights into respite care before you can sleep through: you find your ears are twitching of their own accord because the alarm's NOT going off. Not fair!
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my bunker is all squeaky clean . #or heather cleaned it up for a little christmas money . the last time it was vaccumed was last august when heather helped me move home . i drag in a steady supply of sand and mortar dust . id rather see it lay in the old carpeting than to vaccume it into the air and breathe it every week . its just the way i roll . societys standards dont mean s*it to me . i look at modern man then at his neanderthal ancestors then find a middle ground that works for me . heather loves my bunker and sees the simplicity and beauty of it . there is nothing in this bunker that isnt essential . kinda like the cartoon smurf houses . theres a phsyc medical term for a minimalist but i cant remember what it is offhand . the minimalist is just as crazy as the hoarder but they operate oppositely of each other . some day when i crappy off the division of assets will be as simple as dumping the nickle jar into two seperate jars .
anyway , while she cleaned the dump up i got my end of year tax ledger all ready to go . im not lazy or a procrastinator , there are just things that matter to me and things that dont .
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I had to disconnect the text alarm from the camera in her room. 40 plus times a night? Uh - NO! I just peek at the video feed from time to time...

Not fair is right! hehe, by the 3rd night of respite care and you feel like maybe you can sleep.... they come home! LOL! Not that I would know.... I'm just sure it's gotta be one of those "Murphy's Law" phenomenons.

She's still going.... hasn't sat for 2 minutes this entire day, much less last night. Wow. I'm impressed.
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Blimey. She must be as fit as a fiddle by now, surely? Whereas in your shoes I'd be crying in a corner. I can only hope mother's arthritis will keep her in her chair if her brain ever gets to this phase. Hugs.
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Is your Mom on anything for her agitation? dad started the night time "up all night" thing about 2 weeks ago.. we were all fried! I got him some meds and we are all sleeping again. Just still getting things adjusted to deal with the daytime sleepies now. It was gonna kill us. I can;t imagine how you have done it so long!
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FF, so glad your surgery went well and you're home. I do hope you can find some time to recuperate, but with Dad's fall, it doesn't sound likely. :-(

Jeanette, geez, I wish your mom would find a place to light and stay there, for your sake! I know that has to be nerve-wracking, keeping an eye out for where she's at all the time.

Our house is a HUGE mess right now. All I've been able to do for the past week is keep my head above water with the laundry and that's it. So now I'm scrambling to get dishes done, and having to negotiate the obstacle course caused by all the storage totes of stuff from the Christmas party last weekend, which are stacked in the kitchen, which is as far as I got when I hauled them in. Tomorrow should be a fairly slow work day, so I'll tackle the consolidation of the Christmas party stuff down into fewer totes and put them away for another year, get all the dishes cleaned up, do a little food prep for the week and try to get the house in order again. Still don't have the tree up or all the Christmas decor up yet either...just not really in the mood, but I need to do it for mom. And Christmas cards to send out. I'm back out of the doldrums and raring to go...glad to be back. I hate feeling like that, but I think it happens to the best of us from time to time. I just needed to get out of the house for a while, I think.

Spent 3 hours helping a friend with their computer issues tonight. Got them through 3 forgotten passwords, set up a few "housekeeping" type programs for them and cleaned up viruses, adware and malware on 2 computers. My good deed quota is filled for the week, I think!
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oh my gosh.... this site has a lot of pop ups and they stole 3 paragraphs from me! Ha! Lucky you ;)

Glad the doldrums left Susan! No rush trying to get the house cleaned up... if it's like mine, it will look exactly the same in a few days! I hated to cook dinner my kitchen was so clean.... grrr

Yes pamz, mom takes agitation meds. This is not an every day occurrence... maybe twice weekly. It does keep her fit and trim and fully exercised, cept it swells her legs n feet up. When she finally crashes I elevate them and they go back to normal. It may seem nerve wracking... it IS a lot easier than entertaining her hours on end every day. She entertains herself. Please don't take it as me being harsh... I did get a lot done today. Other than knocking her out with drugs... this is just the way it is on some days. Yes, I keep all 6 eyes on her... mine and 2 dogs that is. We all make sure she's safe.

Has anyone tried the "weighted blanket"? It's used for Autism as a sensory tool. They are so darn expensive though.... I'd love to try one on mom at night to see if it helps eases her fears so she can sleep better, and ME! It might be worthwhile for me to buy a used sewing machine and make my own d*mn blankie?

Oh, she had a very filling dinner and desert... she's still up n going. I, on the other hand, am getting sleepy as heck.

Susan, my tubs are stacked in the mud room.... seems like I just move this crap from space to space :/

hope? haven't heard from you in awhile. How are you doing and how's your lovely mama? check in girl....
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Jeanette - do a Google search on how to make a weighted blanket - I've seen tutorials for them. My grandson has SPD and Verbal and Physical Apraxia, among other disorders - I looked into making one for him at one time.
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My b*tch for the AM.Have already put her Christmas cards in the mail to people who never call, will get another ink cartridge so I can make more prints of her stupid Christmas letter to more people who never call,will also take her to PT today even though I don't feel like it,get her bathed, change her BSC,do her meds, make sure she is fed, make sure her dogs are cared for, return the traction device(very heavy) that she just had to have and then didn't want it after using it one time and do her bills and probably some other stuff that I do so routinely for her I'm not even aware of,she basically let me know she didn't think I was as efficient as my friend that helps out with some cleaning and takes her shopping once a week.Told her to call ( my friend's name) if she didn't like my services and she replied sarcastically I will. I can't stand the sight of her right now and yet I am about to take her to PT because it really does her a lot of good, make myself be pleasant, be aware not to be verbally sarcastic in defense(sarcasm is considered verbal aggression)of course it's okay for her to do this to me.The day I get over 70 if I ever do I am going to become a complete b*tch as apparently society is accepting of this.
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Oh Tex can I send you some polish for your halo?
Being over 70 does not give you any more rights to agression than you have now.
Take yourself back and learn to say "No" don't do anything unless it will not adversely affect you. Choose a few things she actually wants to do like visit the beauty shop and tell her you don't feel like going out and give her the phone number of a taxi service or someone you know who would like to make a little extra money by giving her a ride. Things she needs to do like PT and dr visits you may just have to grin and bear it. Consider yourselt free to become a b**ch begining today. No warning outsmart the old trout. She is very smart so keep one step ahead of her. You managed that with difficult patients so practise what you spent years learning.
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Tex, love and hugs to you from me.
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Tex, I don't know that I could live without sarcasm. But, I have to tell you, since I have been coming to AC I flatter myself that I am much improved. In America sarcasm is used judiciously, when called for. In the UK it's a way of life - no wonder we're all so permanently sore.
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I certainly do not have a halo,wouldn't want one.Yes, I have had difficult patients,the difference was there wasn't the emotional involvement of them being my parent,one that I don't like and would have chosen to never be around again.Also, she isn't that wild about me and I know living with me was not her plan but sometimes life just doesn't work out as planned.I wish I could call a taxi but I live in a rural area and also because of her osteoarthritis I need to be near her while she is moving.A fall is actually her biggest health risk at present.I try to keep her environment as fall proof as I can,always on the alert like a watch dog.Yes, I grin and bear it. I wonder if that is going to eventually put me in the class of caregivers that die before the one they are taking care of dies simply because I imploded from all the grinning and bearing it.
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Ugh, sorry to hear you're having a bad day, Tex! Hopefully things will improve soon. We all have those days now and then - trust me, I had a looloo of a bad day last week- doing better now. Hang in there.
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I've decided to dive into an all-out war against the clutter in the house and the "to-do" list I've had on my desk for over a week now. It's therapeutic for me to put things in order, makes me feel like at least ONE thing is in order in my life! Got the new drapes up in the living room - no more fishbowl feeling at night! Still don't have the Christmas tree up - that's next on the list.
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This morning I did some cleaning and got the Christmas cards done. It was mid-afternoon before I finished. I had told my mother I planned to put the tree up tomorrow. No problem until later when I was taking the garbage out. She started in on how it wasn't Christmas until she got the tree up, and she didn't know why a young person would not have decorated already. She told me how she always did it and how she decorated every year, but couldn't this year. Of course, I knew I had done the tree the last five years. And, embarrassingly enough, in the years before that, they kept the tree all decorated in the back room all year long and just moved it at Christmas.

Then she says that this is my house -- talking about me -- and I was going to live here until I died. I had to speak up at that point. Her boundaries between her and me are totally gone. I told her it was her house and her life.

The chewing criticism got worse at that point. She told me I owed her because she gave life to me. At this point I decided it was best to leave her to watch her TV in her house and continue to live her miserable life. I have to say that I did little to bring on this nastiness, other than not having the Christmas tree up yet. Some people are just too ugly inside.
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Yikes, Jessie...not a good day at all. Hopefully when you go back, she's calmed down some and is a little more reasonable to deal with.

I gave Mom the Christmas cards today and a pen and told her to have at it. She went through and signed both of our names on all of them, so all I have to do is address them and get them in the mail. One more thing off my list.

Speaking of the list - I sat down and updated the list that's been sitting on my desk for a week now, and holy cow - I think I must have been brain dead for the past week, because I have a ton of stuff to do now, some of which should have been done already. Time to catch up.

Mom and I had a talk today about the need to hire help to come in and take care of her when I'm not here - like when I go to visit my son for a few days. It's become very clear that just having someone come check on her a few times a day just isn't going to cut it. She agrees she needs someone to help her. Tonight was a perfect example - she took a shower today (really didn't want to, and tried to tell me, "I talked myself out of it" once she was in the bathroom - but she DID shower) - and came out in her nightgown after the shower, with no underwear/incontinence pad on. She always does this - says she needs to "dry off" before getting dressed. I give her about 20 minutes before telling her she needs to finish getting dressed. Tonight, she walked towards the bathroom to get dressed, stopped at the doorway and said, "What am I doing? Going to take a shower?" - I reminded her that she was already showered, just needed to get her undies and such on. "Oh! Ok" she says....

As frustrated as I get with her sometimes, I'm glad that I can speak candidly with her about her future - at least *that* part of things is relatively easy to deal with, and I know she understands. I just hope that when the time actually comes, she really *does* understand the need for placement in a home. I'm not foolish enough to think that it's going to be an easy move, or that she's going to be completely accepting of it - but I just hope that the decision will be taken out of my hands by nature - that there will be some event that forces the issue, rather than me having to make that decision just because I can't provide the care she needs anymore.
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I can't help but think that I really do have it easier with the pacing/non sleeping mother than the NPD/Owe me everything mother :)

If I could get away with it, I'd slip my tree into an unused room, toss a sheet over it and come next year - voila`! Pretty d*mn genius and nothing to be embarrassed about. Using your time wisely ;)

It's been pretty quiet here today. She was up most, if not all, of the night again. I'd put her to bed, put soft Christmas music on and within 27 seconds POP...up and out again. Rinsed n repeated so many times I lost count... finally secured everything and went to bed. She was up standing at the foot of her bed in the corner at 7:30 this morning, so .... after a nice washing up and breakfast followed by morning meds she crashed. I will wake her for an early dinner, warm sleepy time tea and she will sleep the entire night. As awful as it sounds, it works. Most meds leave her a mumbly Zombie...so as long as this alternative route is working and I can stand it, we shall keep trying.

Susan, did you ever make the weighted blanket? I've watched several DYI video's and it doesn't look too hard, just time consuming filling then sewing all those squares... I do think it would be helpful with the secure feeling at night?

Guess I should finish up the tree while she's sleeping. Or take a long nap. Or watch whatever I want on tv. Already spotified the kitchen/living room... detest laundry so that's a big NO... hmmm. Decisions decisions. Nap/TV and Ellen Degeneres 12 days of giveaways it is!
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Relentless walking was a phase for hubby and I pray sincerely it does not come back. That was terrible. I told his day stay facility, I didn't need stay stay, I needed night stay. 7p to 7a would have been heaven. The talking or more like chanting is intermittent during the day and night. All things considered, I'll take it.
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Jeanette, I never got around to making the blanket - I wish I had, but my life was going full bore into madness at that point, between the adult kids and their various dramas and then Dad passed away and I moved in with Mom. I keep hoping maybe I can find time to make it.

I hope you can have a peaceful night - heck, I hope that for all of us!

I've been running full tilt all day today, bouncing between work for my clients and "the list". Got the living room curtains up, called for water delivery and received that, called our local agency on aging to request a caregiver list (they do background checks, etc on them before referring them), paid a few bills, washed the dog's bed cover (which is now dirty again, thanks to 50 degree temps and rain today), washed the living room windows, cleaned out the van, washed it and detailed the inside, including the windows and did 4 loads of laundry (thanks Mom). Going to try to knock out a few more things on the list yet tonight, but have a couple hours of work to do for my clients first.

I suppose I'll crash somewhere around 2am. Good thing I don't get days like this very often, or Mom would definitely outlive me! lol

Oh my gosh...Mom just got up and said she dreamed that she robbed the bank downtown of $2400. Why? She didn't know - "I guess I needed the money!" she said. I asked if there was a weapon involved, but she couldn't remember - all she knew was she robbed the bank! Life is never dull....I guess I should be glad she's not driving anymore, Lord only knows what she'd get up to!
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I rarely check my emails. Glad had came on here last year in November about a free course on dementia at the website Coursera. The course was taught by John Hopkins University. The invitation is worldwide.

I received an email from Coursera that John Hopkins will be starting in January 12 for a 5 week course. It's titled: Living with Dementia: Impact on Individuals, Caregivers and Societies.

Based on their previous course, they now have structured this upcoming course to ensure that everyone benefits (to me, the first course was more aimed for the Professional caregivers.) This upcoming one includes healthcare practitioners, family caregivers or anyone interested. FYI, despite the first course leaning more towards the professionals, I learned a LOT from it.

Well, I'm off to send an email of this to my social worker. Our monthly caregiver's meeting is this coming Saturday. I won't be attending so hopefully she can relay it to the others.

FYI, I did not complete it the first course last year. I only joined so that I can learn about dementia. OMGoodness! There was a wealth of videos and more videos of personal accounts/journeys, how to respond to "I want to go home", etc... I'm planning to do the same with this upcoming course. Since I'm not going for a certificate, the course is FREE.
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FYI, I joined the course on Coursera on learning Chinese. I can only speak and understand English. I have tried - replaying the video on My name is... What's your name?..etc.. I do NOT have an ear for foreign language. On the vowel pronunciation - I could not tell the difference between a short vowel, a cut-off vowel. sigh... I gave up on it. Chinese language would be helpful with a job in tourism. Too bad my ears cannot distinguish the 'accent/sounds'.
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