I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
kat, I am really sorry for what you're dealing with. There is such an inherently different emotional pain in having one's spouse ill and with such a sad illness.
She see's her primary doc first of next week. He needs to give her something a bit stronger to help her sleep at night. This just can't continue, it's too harmful to her well being. She needs to gain some strength back... I know she's tired. I just hate this stuff... just hate it. I couldn't get her in my SUV ... had to ask the neighbor guy to help me lift her in, bless his heart, he just scooped her right up and in she went. Then he gave me the biggest heartfelt hug. I just cried like a baby.
Yeah, it bothers me also when people question her. Even the dr and nurse where asking her silly questions even though I told them she can't answer them. You can see the frustration in her eyes... just stop there and simply ask me.
Well, I guess it's time to find a nice lightweight wheel chair for her. How do I solve the issue of getting her in my vehicle? Oh... she's also very rigid like? I asked them yesterday what is causing her rigidity? Why is the answer always "old age"?
My heart truly goes out to you with loved ones with Alzheimers. What you live with on a day-to-day basis would take a saint to deal with.I wish I could hug each one of you; you are angels on earth.
I mangled a watermelon one day, after I had clean up the mess and was back in the livingroom, hubby came in and was trying to tell me that THAT WOMAN in the kitchen didn't know what she was doing and made a big mess (so true) LOL
About the coldness. He was hypothyroid, tho his blood tests were supposedly OK. After reading about it on several internet medical sites, I tried Iosol Iodine - just a few drops a day. The Dr. said it would not hurt him and it really helped.
He never registered a 98.6 degree body temperature- one sign that the iodine was needed.
He's been gone now for three months. I miss him, but know that he is at peace and where he said he wished to be, daily. We were married nearly 71 years - quite a big change.
Good luck - take care of yourself and don't wait too long to get help - do not run yourself down! Big hug going your way...
kat and henzoo... although I care for my mother and I know it's not the same as a spouse but... I hate to say it's refreshing to read that others are doing what my mother does but it kind of is. Solely in the I'm not alone category. The chanting and endless pacing had me buggy.
I've noticed that the changes in her aren't that subtle anymore either. We are not supposed to go by the "stages", however, with this mobility issue and rigidity starting I'd say 7a. Between my carer and myself we try and keep her movements going... we toss a beach ball back and forth and use those rubber band things to strengthen arms n legs.
Susan, thanks for the Overstock tip! I did order her one. A folding lightweight pretty blue one with a built in seat belt. Now I need to find a transfer board and an easier way to get her in the SUV. However... we have a program her called Dial-a-Bus. For $2.00 bucks they'll take us anywhere... especially Dr. Appointments. They have a lift and everything so it will make it that much easier on both her and I.
Lois is right, if you can get more help it is imperative to do so and find ways to make it a little easier. No point to run ourselves down if we can help it. Easier said than done... I know
Don't for heaven's sake do what I do and feel every suggestion she makes as a criticism of what you've been doing - it can make you into a very prickly person indeed. I'm trying to do better.
ttc10. My mother can't see the 5 ft totally lit up tree 5 feet from her, but oh holy night, let her see a dark spot on the ceiling, floor, carpet...wall at 30 feet! It always amazes me how she does that? I guess the fear of bugs runs deeper than... uhm, who their children are?
Where did cap go? Is he hanging out with ff and hope?
I'm going to whine about my brothers, again. You know, I bit the dust and called my oldest yesterday morning... seemed mom had scooted onto the floor during the night and I wasn't able to immediately get her up off the carpet. She'd hand a very long/hard 2 days as did I. I called and asked if either him or his NON WORKING wife could just stop by and help me... told him about her fall the day before and the staples... well, guess what. He couldn't stop by, he said he was working... hmmm, his work is seasonal and usually doesn't work for 5 months during the winter... ok, I get it. He also said he was not working today and probably not for months... ok, got it. He called his wife... she finally called me 30 some minutes later... bottom line. We got zero help even though I finally reached out and asked... damnit. This is why I hate asking them for anything. I know they were all home today... could either one of those 3 even bother to call to ask about mom? I don't know why I even bother with them anymore. This will sound very harsh, but I will never ask them again for anything. Nothing. When I have to go to the neighbors, bless their souls and can count on them more than her own beloved sons?... oh hell no.
I was talking to a home care nurse the other day about setting up an evaluation for Mom, and we got around to the topic of social security income, and how when one spouse passes, the survivor keeps the larger of the two social security payments. What the government doesn't seem to understand (or care about) is that the surviving spouse *still* loses a significant chunk of money every month. Most couples have their bills and lifestyle based on 2 incomes - so when one of them dies, the survivor is left scrambling. In Mom's case, she is left with *just* enough to cover her monthly bills - but not anything extra - like FOOD. Or vehicle repairs, gas for the vehicle, house repairs and maintenance. Not to mention clothing, incontinence pads and things like that. I pay for all of that. If I hadn't moved in, where would she be? She makes too much for food stamps (which is pretty incredible), and she couldn't rely on the local food bank all the time.