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I hear you Susan....on all levels....I don't understand. My nephews and most "kids" I know now are so self centered...all full of compassion for the planet, the environment, the homeless and yet not one iota of compassion or selflessness when it comes to their own families. It makes me angry to see the disrespect and thoughtless way they treat their Dad (my brother) Mama everyone..yet they are all at the ready to save the world...they literally make me ill. I am tired of asking them to come. I think they are coming in a few days and I really could care less. I will be nice and I hope they make their visit and then get out.....
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I also think that a lot of that has to do with most of this generation have literally been handed everything they ever wanted on a silver platter. neither one of my nephews wives/ fiances work...they are busy crafting, volunteering, spouting their views on politics yet both their husbands/ fiances work their butts off and make their lives as easy as possible..just as their Dad's made their lives growing up....Then they come here and look down their noses if something is not Martha Stewart perfect and in my head all I want to say is "Kiss my A$$"
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Oh here comes the guilty trip by my Dad.... last night he called, he knows he and Mom have an appointment to see the Elder Law attorney on Monday. Well he wants to cancel the appointment. SAY WHAT? I exploded which I rarely do when talking to my parents. Their old Will is a landmine.

Turns out Dad said he and Mom wouldn't be able to read anything if they went to the attorney [both have macular degeneration]. Gosh, guess that means blind people don't have Wills.... [sigh].

My parents go to the eye doctor every 6 months and it's always the same thing, nothing has changed therefore no new eye glass lenses. They probably keep thinking the next appointment there will be magic pair of glasses that will give them 20/20 vision. Unfortunately, that isn't happening in their life time.

I finally convinced my Dad to still go to the attorney appointment as he won't be signing anything... all the attorney wants is the paperwork she asked them to fill out and to talk over what they want in their Trust, POA, etc.

Now I am thinking it might be a good idea to get a new Will and work on the Trust as we go along as Trust can take months to put together. With my parents age [93 and 97] you never know what will happen next month.
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Jessie Belle - I'm laughing at your story about the 85-year old visitor.
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I am also glad the "holidays" are over. I still have a raging cold contracted from someone in the eye MD's office for my mother's "I gotta have this exam" eye appointment for which he told her to come back in one year and gave her an otc box of eye drops.Of course my mother is fine and feeling great.Starting the new year with new rules, no appointments during cold/flu season,we are leaving if I hear anyone in the waiting room coughing(like I did for the eye exam,and it was the kind of coughing I though a lung would soon be seen)no appointments after 12 noon or during holiday traffic and no appointments that will require me to drive at night, just can't do it anymore.If she is so "sick" she has to go during one of these no appointment zones I told her I would just call 911 for her.I have been flat on my back for the last 6 days,my husband has really had to fill in but even so I see that he and my mother would fall apart if something happens to me.He is good for cooking and getting groceries, but for laundry,putting up the laundry,vacuuming,he stinks,love him but he just doesn't do it.He has taken mother to her hair appointment, I got her bathed from a distance,I am constantly washing my hands, also got one of her dogs bathed,she's fed,medicated and in her little art studio in the basement right now.She has a podiatrist appointment in Jan. I have got to take her to, even with more foot care I can tell she is going to have to have some toes removed,they are so mangled and entertwined and probably infected again,I am just chasing my tale on the foot care,she doesn't have dementia and I understand she doesn't want surgery but I am afraid an infection is going to get away from me and I also realize that the MD doesn't want to operate on a 79yr.old but something has got to give.Feel like I am between a rock and hard place.However, made it thru the "holidays" looking forward to 2015.To all of you in the trenches please take care of yourself, to h*ll with your ungrateful siblings,and I appreciate everything you do if no one has told you so recently.
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Jessie Belle, now if that gentleman was Clint Eastwood :)

Hard to believe that Clint is near 85 years old. He's divorced now. He and his young wife, who was 35 years younger, called it quits.

Why can't these guys in Hollywood date and marry someone their OWN age. I mean what kind of message are they sending to their own daughters? That once they get to a certain age that no guy would be interested?
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Oooo, I can't stand Clint Eastwood after what he did to Sandra Locke. He used her up and tossed her away. I know she allowed it, but it was certainly ugly. The things that came out about him showed he was everything that women dread in a man.
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Only woman Clint is looking for these days is a nurse,man he got ooold!
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Now a really gross thing is my mother thinks I should snap him up because he has money. I couldn't imagine kissing him for any amount of money. Yuck, wipe mouth on the ground. I told Mom SHE could marry him if she wanted, but leave me out of it. Really, he is her age and not mine.
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Oh my gosh, Jessie! "Yuck, wipe mouth on the ground..." I'm rolling laughing over here. Sheesh. Mom must think you're desperate. I *refuse* to marry again. Been there, done that - twice - got the emotional scars to prove it. Never again.
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Jessie has Mom thought about what would happen to her if your new love whisks you away for a world tour on his yacht.Visits to fashion shows so you can pick your wardrobe for the next season. A personal chef and housekeeper. A chauffer to drive you to your beauty shop and lunch appointments with your friends. A pool and a pool boy to rub suntan lotion on your back. My mouth is watering at the prospects. You really should reconsider. Your wifely duties would only be once every six months or so. So count the viagra and when he takes a big dose call in a surogate and turn out the lights. As long as you are whispering sweet nothings in his ear he won't know the difference. You will be there to put his depends back on and bring him a good night glass of scotch. You will have it made. Can we all come to the wedding?
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Tex I don't see a problem with Mom having one or more toes amputated at 79. They would do it under sedation and a local. it would be a different story if they were doing a bunionectomy and straightening the toes. She would not be able to weight bear for six months and have to scoot around on a knee scooter which would be very dangerous. My Podiatrist said that she would amputate my toe if it got painful. I am making sure it does not get painful. So mom can go in for a quick snip and be home for lunch.
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I'm a bit cross. My son reports that my sister has commented on Facebook: "I hate hospitals."

Yeah, well, don't we all. I just think that if you're the person who gets to go home at the end of the visit, you shouldn't be the one complaining. Try being stuck in there on an oxygen mask and level 2 fluids only, then see if you still feel hard done by having to spend an hour or two visiting your mother.
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But at least she went. I should have given her credit for that.
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Veronica, I would have to change my username to AnnaNichole. :) I'm afraid he couldn't whisk me away on his yacht. He walks about 1 mph and has balance problems. He would probably spend the trip in the potty and I would have to come in to try to get him off the floor. Maybe I would have to take a Hoyer lift.

Oh, I'm being mean. But it would be one caregiving stint to another.
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Besides... with his type of money, we might have to settle for a john boat. :D
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Cm, yes, do give her credit! My brother, who is mom's poa, was in the hospital for nearly two years when he should have been in high school, with a chronic bone infection. He has very good reason to hate hospitals. When ever he shows up, I'm incredibly grateful. How's your mum?
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Jessie where is your imagination. How about taking a couple of young male nurses with you. All you would have to do is pop a couple of grapes in his mouth from time to time or get some strawberries dipped in chocolate. Go for it Anna Nichol.
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Ahem. That's the love of my life you're talking about. Can you just leave me with my heady Rawhide memories please? :)
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Sorry Babalou, I cross-posted. Thank you for asking - she's responsive but terribly tired, nothing unusual. Hoping that come Monday we can get started on a plan of some kind. I hate having no idea of what is going to happen - but you get what you're given, there's no arguing with it.
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Oh great, this evening our electric wired smoke alarm started to chime... just for a couple of seconds, then silence, then half our later an instant replay, silence then again. So I quickly pulled out the business card of the electrician who installed these alarms and said help.... he will be out at 8 a.m. Sunday morning.... whew.

I could change the backup batteries in these alarms but one is at the very top step of the stairs on the ceiling.... I have visions of me tumbling down... why on earth the builder had placed the wired alarm there is a mystery. The one in the basement at least is at the bottom step and easy to get to. I'll let the electrician deal with both.

So far the alarm have been quiet for the past couple of hours. Holding my breath :P
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I guess I should not be ranting but I am. I was invited to spend the week with a friend. However, I feel like once again Im being used or taken for granted. Maybe Im so used to being around my father that all I can do is complain. Our friends that live a long distance away invited us to come stay with them. Another set of friends offered to drive us in exchange for me paying for the gas and tolls. They found a route that did not involve paying for tolls but they still wanted me to help with the gas. They could not even bothered to pick us up. They insisted that it was out of their way (when it was only an additonal 10 mins by car) My children and I had to pack our bags and stand in the pouring rain to wait for a bus to get to the meeting place. They were an hour late picking us up. Rather than driving to our other friends house, we drove to their house first, stayed up all night then left the following day. Heck I could have met them the next day and gotten a decent night's sleep. As soon as we got in the car my friend says "Do you need to go to the ATM to get the money to pay for the gas ?" I thought that was very tacky. I dont see how they needed me to hand them the money right away, they could have waited until we stopped at the gas station and I would pay for the gas as needed. But they just expected me to hand them 100 when I got in the car. So now we are at our other friends house. They work at night. So now Im stuck babysitting while they work. There are no plans for us to go anywhere or do anything until the day before we leave. Im not thrilled but at the same time I feel bad for being disappointed.
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toomuch4me....I think I'd avoid activities with those friends in the future if it makes you that uncomfortable. It doesn't sound like it's going well. I have "friends" that only contact me when they want something (happened again today). They don't call or contact me unless they need help with their computer or something like that - then I don't exist again.

FF - I have a humorous smoke detector story. I was sound asleep one night when the smoke detector in my basement went off. Since the furnace was in the basement, I was up and out of bed RIGHT NOW and barreling down the stairs. I got down there and turned the smoke detector off, and looked (and smelled) all over the basement for smoke, flames, fumes...nothing. I had just replaced the battery in the smoke detectors all over the house the week before, so I knew it wasn't that. Back to bed.
10 minutes later, the alarm is shrieking again. Back down to the basement, same routine - turn the alarm off, check the basement - nothing - back to bed.
Repeat about 3 more times over the next hour. Now I'm freaking out. I'm a single parent alone with my kids in a house where the smoke detector - located in the creepy old basement - appears to be possessed by a spirit determined to deprive me of my much-needed sleep. Then my sleep-addled mind starts working overtime, wondering if there's someone hiding in the basement and triggering the alarm in an attempt to get me down there to do unspeakable things to me. I'm huddled in the bed pondering all of these things when the dang thing goes off AGAIN. I decide I've had it and I'm going to dismantle the stupid thing - regardless of the danger of fire. I go stomping down the stairs, *really* ticked off, but also armed with a baseball bat.
I get to the basement, open the cover on the smoke detector to remove the battery, and what do I find? A wee little spider, busily spinning his wee little web inside the smoke detector. Every time he runs across the sensor at just the right angle, he sets off the alarm.

Spider - dead. Smoke Detector - re-assembled. Me - finally sleeping.
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Those were odd things to happen, toomuch. I would have been majorly peeved.
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I am believe me. I already know what my New Year's Resolution will be...to stand my ground.
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Wait... what? Jessie has a boyfriend with lots of money?

hehe, guess I need to go a few pages back and catch up ;)
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Susan, just read your itsy bitsy spider story this morning. ROFLOLOLOL. Loved it.
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Christmas...correct me if I am wrong...but I think it was several days ago. Not one peep from either of Mama's grands but there was "talk" that they "might" be coming today. no word, no anything...just possibly. Well, maybe I'm just tired or fed up or sick and tired of spending my life waiting on brat kids who have long been adults and ought to know better, but I don't give a dang if they come or not. In fact, as I sit here, I am still in my lounging pants complete with loungy tshirt and am NOT cooking one stinking thing "in case" they show up. I have had their gifts bought since long long ago, but oh well.....I am so sick of this off these kids, and off this family...my family always had such a good loving relationship and once my brother married these kids mother, our lives were forever changed...for what reason I don't know because this was OUR home, not theirs yet my parents, especially my Mama let them run rough shod over us all my adult life. God forgive me but I hate that family. And while I have always loved my nephews, since their mother's influence has become predominately their guiding light once they moved away, they have become some of the most unthoughtful arrogant little snots I have ever seen. I saw a post by one of my nephews last night quoting a scene from the Christmas vacation movie re the whole "we're going to have a traditional famly holiday if it by God kills us" and he was saying that this was their holiday in a nutshell...since when????? I know that NO ONE in this family has ever demanded or expected anything out of them. They have always done exactly what they wanted to do and could care less whose plans it interrupted. And now they think I am going to have a christmas thing three days after Christmas...NOPE...not gonna....they can KMA. Mama doesnt seem to even recognize them anymore and so I could care less if they ever come here again. During the time she could have and would have loved to have seen them, they were too busy being arrogant spoiled adult brats whose lives were so much more important than anyone elses...and yet they expect us to roll out the red carpet whenever they drift into town. Maybe I'm harsh, but I just don't give a D*** anymore....35 years of hell is enough
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Hope, I assume you saw the grandchild's post on Facebook? Good heavens, how did families communicate prior to the invention of Facebook or MySpace? How many here think it's a good way to communicate? Or it causes too much hard feelings by what relatives are writing?

I never signed up for Facebook, and don't plan to. I believe sometimes what ever is posted could be taken out of context because we aren't physically talking to that person to *read* emotions. Plus nothing is really private, even though we might think it is. My sig other finally got his daughter to take down photos of her grade school aged daughters, you never know who will copy said pictures and put them on inappropriate websites :(
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FrF....yes, I saw it...and while knowing him he probably thought it was funny, it was not to me..and I don't think my brother found it funny either. It is just heartbreaking because my brother has taken such good care of those boys and his ex was one for the books ..she was one of the rudest, most hostile, disrespectful humans I think who was ever born, and while the boys were here locally and my brother was their primary example (they were in college and so were close to him) then they were good kids...but once they both went their own ways and moved away from the area and now their mother (who btw actually LEFT them and ran off with her man of the hour) and whose main focus in life is the almighty dollar has seemingly become their role model..and a disgusting one at that. she controls where they go even though they are well into their adult years..she calls the shots and they let her, just as my brother and my mother let her..and I had to watch it all unfold...now the ugliness has come home to roost and my family is ALWAYS the one who gets left until the end of the visiting and if time has run out, we may get one of those run bys crammed in or they just don't come at all. I feel sad for my brother. He just texted me and has heard not one word from them and they are at the nephews WIFE's house...and they will spend most of their time there...we did not see them at all on Thanksgiving, even though they were local...I am disgusted by them. I wish I could tell the nephew what i thought of his actions, but I know that would just hurt my brother so I just sit here and have to suck it up...but I am so freaking sick and tired of it...it has been a lifetime of seeing my family disrespected by this ex wife's family and now the two boys have taken on this bratty snotty arrogance that is so not the way my brother raised them...what else can I do??? I have no control over them now they are grown..but I'll be danged if they disrespect me any further by just drifting in whenever...if Mama still knew them it would be different....but they let those precious years slip away while they busy being fancy a$$ big shots and all the abundance they have has been largely due to my family doing way too much for them along the way...

I agree I do NOT think FB is a good way to communicate at all..way too much room for hurt feelings...and seeing the ex wife thinking their snotty little comment was "hilarious" knowing she will get her time with them and here is my mother, who more than likely will not be here next Christmas just has to make do with whatever....It is sad...and sickening.
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