My "whine moment today." What's yours?

i had to go get some 2 inch styrofoam insulation for my bunker walls . i always thought that being partially underground meant you only had to heat from 56 degrees up to 70 but i was wrong . the damn earth keeps pulling your 70 degrees DOWN to 56 . i have to get out and work in the cold weather but i need to be warm at home to pull the chill back out of myself .
not complaining by any means . people in this world sleeping on the streets are the ones i feel bad for . GWB allocated federal charity monies to the churches and it was imo the wrong thing to do . secular people shouldnt have to beg churches for federal relief money and thats why many people sleep rough instead of going to shelters . i would also ..kum by ya my ass MF .

panapal, those roller walkers are great. At first my Dad didn't want one, but it took a tumble on his driveway and a call to 911, and a nurse to convince him otherwise. Bought him a bright shiny blue model, hand brakes, basket with a seat on top... good heavens, you'd think I had bought him a sport car.... boy can that man take off with the rolling walker leaving us in a cloud of dust :)

This is not whining, but I'm not quite sure where to post this.

A dear friend is 86 and a couple of years ago, her son and daughter got her a "gift" = a walker with 4 rolling wheels and a seat.

Well, my friend didn't feel stable enough to use it. She preferred her walker with 2 front wheels. Having broken my ankle last June, I can understand the need for stability where and when you can find it. Her children are still 'in the sh@ts about it. I don't know why. They never even asked her about it. So, it just sits there taking up space and they continue to lay the guilt upon her. I suggested she donate it, but it seems that would cause even more family drama.

Long story short - ha! - sometimes caretakers or pseudo-caretakers try to do the right thing, but it is not appropriate nor welcomed. It's best to always ask first and let the person try it out if they are even interested.

hobbesmom, you are correct about how some things might not work out for everyone. My Dad tired to get my Mom to try out his new roller walker thinking she would like it.... but she couldn't figure out how to use the hand brakes.

Now that I think back, my Dad when he was younger learned to ride a bike which had hand brakes, so did I. But my Mom never could ride a bike even though she tried, just wasn't coordinated. So now I am thinking maybe that is why my Dad learned so quickly to use the hand brakes on his walker, it came second nature to him... but not to my Mom.

I can't tell you how many people have suggested a walker for Mom, who now uses a cane to walk, or a wheelchair for longer distances. She just doesn't want one - she thinks it will be more hindrance than help.

Cold as cold can be here tonight. Wind chill has had the temps hovering at or below zero all day - it was near 50 degrees (farenheit) just a few days ago. I guess it was inevitable, though - it *is* winter, after all.

Oh boy my year is ending on a crap note! Mom is on day 3 of antibiotics for bronchitis.. still no energy or appitite. Hubs brought home lobster for everyone for NYE.. she loves lobster. hardly could eat any.I got home from work to a sh*tstorm. Dad having a fit about taking his last (sleeping) pill... Mom exhausted, hubs frustrated. Dad talking nonsence, about how the pill will kill him. Mom angry and weak. I have no idea whats going on... Oh boy the fun... Got dad to bed.. no last pill.. And I have to get up at 4 am for work.. I tried to tell her its not worth the battle. But she is so tired and goofy at this point. Not eating well for 2 weeks.. was all I could do to get her to the dr at the same time as dad, and now I worry we waited too long (she refused to go). I guess I'm gonna have to hope tomorrow goes better, or try to get her back in Friday to see the Dr again. This is how her pneumonia went 2 years ago. And dad is getting more confused.. he makes no sence most of the time the past 2 weeks. Dr checked him out.. just the way it goes, but I hate when he is angry and I worry. Seems he was fine all day.. it's the pill taking that is the problem now. Sorry if this is rambling.. I am tired from 2 weeks of no sleep and lots of worry.. may 2015 be better!!

Wow! I was helping my mom with her taxes and I wrote down all the MD visits for 2014. OMG! 45, that's right, 45 MD visits for 2014. We live in a rural area and have to travel up and down a major interstate to get to these MDs, Each trips is an 80 mile round trip at least so that worked out to about 3,440 miles I have driven my mother to the MD this year. I haven't even calculated the hours that were involved in driving and then sitting in the office. This year I blew off my mammogram, my colonoscopy,and dermatology exam, and my dental cleaning. I did get surgery on my neck but that was because my hands were going numb.I was stunned when I looked at the list for the last 12 months and I wondered why do I keep feeling like I don't do enough, it is looking at from the paper, 45 MD visits! for the year of 2014.She has seen a podiatrist, dentist,dermatologist,cardiologist,pain specialist,hand surgery specialist,opthamologist.I have actually had more interaction with my veterinarian.My pets have seen a MD more than me.I am just stunned.Has anybody else taken their elder this many times to an MD in a 12 month period?

I forgot to add she also saw her primary MD along with all the others.

Also didn't add the twice weekly trips to physical therapy.

Tex I think I have you beat this year sadly. We had rad every day for 35 days chemo 2 days a week for 7 weeks (same time rad was going on) then the ent Dr , heart Dr speech dr dermatology dr. He had 7 surgery's. I had a calendar that I took with me to all apts, trying to no have more then 2 on the same day!!!! Ok with the taxes if you have a ? just message me I have did taxes for 26 years and will be glad to help. This goes for anyone if you have a tax ? mes me I will try to help

only I never had to drive 80 miles, thankful for that

Oh geez pamz, sounds like it's been a long rough month! I feel for you and completely understand your plight. I sure hope your mom recuperates quickly and nicely enough. I'm feel awful for you. I can't imagine trying to work a out of home job and the in home job of your dad. They say it's the lack of sleep that makes caregivers give in the towel. If they could sit there and watch tv or do something besides pace around it wouldn't be so terrible... trust me, I get it.

I tried to use the 4 wheeled walker/scooter chair thing that I had bought for my dad with my mother. She's way too wobbly to use any sort of walker, in fact, I think it would make it harder on her. It's amazing how I have assist her walking but then during her pacing attacks, she gets up/down and walks/shuffles just fine on her own? So confusing...

Tex, oh hell no! No wonder you are about to fall apart. 45 appointments not including her primary? Damn girl! My mother see's her primary once a month and the other few times are ER or Urgent Care which so far has only been a few times this entire year. hehe, my pets have seen their vet more than I have also. It's just not funny... when I take mom to see her primary, since he's also mine, I get a few whines in with him but not much more... some days my body feels like it's been beat up and I am dying inside, aside it gets pushed. Somehow we both need to change this way of taking care of our mothers or they will surely out live us.

On a happier note.

Happy New Year to the Aging Care family whom I have grown to cherish. May this year bring us all some happiness in our year, along with sleep, peace and a brighter outlook for 2015.

Blek! I spent most of the evening with Mom tonight watching TV. I had gotten into JAG, so was trying to pay attention. She was talking about things, like playing with my nephew on the floor when he was a baby. I wasn't saying anything, just watching TV and half listening to her. Then suddenly she said, "You're in a mood tonight, aren't you?" Huh?? She went on to say how she could tell by my voice -- that high pitched irritated sound like "mweh mweh mweh." Man, she was really getting down on me. The problem was that I hadn't said anything at all.

Beam me up, Scotty. Some people get accused of plotting or stealing. I get accused of talking in a high-pitched voice. (Really kind of funny)

I'd like to think that 2015 will be better, but as far as things with Mom go, I'm sure that's not going to be the case.

I started out typing a very long post and just deleted it. Not much point in hashing over what's already been said.

Scooch on over in the transporter there Jessie... although I've not been accused of plotting or stealing, I do get accused of "you're going to kill me aren't you? at least 3 times a week. Usually this occurs when I'm making HER dinner and not devoting my all to her... my reply is "nope mom", I'm cooking you dinner". Her reply "I'm hungry". well duh... so either I'm OH OH wait... I guess you could say I get accused of plotting?... ah ha! I am slowly poisoning her with homemade beef stew... when I could have just microwaved it :D

I've noticed my appetite is gone. By the time I get her food ready, mine is cold and it's no longer appealing. I've tossed more food this month than ever before. It sounds great in my head but when it comes time to eat it... just yuck.

Hey Susan, we over lapped.... no, no point in going over the ran over many times before. 2015 has got to give just a bit dont'cha think?

My son gave me dates he could finally come visit me. This makes me happy. Hope I find enough energy/strength to actually enjoy his visit.

I know the disappearing appetite thing. I can be hungry when I start to cook, but by the time I sit down, I don't want to eat but a few bites. It would be great to hire a chef. While I'm at it, I'll dream of an entire wait staff and a big mansion... with the thermostat set on about 70.

70? That is one helluva great dream!

It's 20 degree's here and my windows in my room are wide open and my bed is calling.... nothing says sleep well like a cold room and a warm big pibble snuggled against you :)

I think joining this site and forum is the best gift I could have given myself on the 1st day of the new year! I thought I was the only one who had these feelings and I felt I was turning into the Grinch of Caregiving! I often look in the mirror and i dont recognise what I have become. I once read an article that said the only way to survive caregiving is to develop a morbid sence of humour- some of the comments here have made me laugh out loud as i absolutely recognise my situation in them. So here's wishing us all a 2015 that has a good dose of sanity, humour and hopefully, a large dose of light at the end of the tunnel- whatever shape that takes......

... and I learned a new word already this year. Pibble. I had to look it up to know what it was.

I decided to skip 2015 and go straight to 2016 after figuring that next year will be better than the current one.

Happy New Years to all of us caregivers. May this coming year be better for all of us

Issues at 3 sound like sun downing to me. Been there...done that. That too shall pass. Then it will be something new. Hang on. This roller coaster ride is never boring. And when all else fails; put yourselves in their positions. I would for sure rather take of them than BE them!!!

hahahaha!! Jessie, were you trying to find out just what or whom I was snuggling with in my bed? LOL! Sydney is the American Staffordshire mix, the larger of the mix breed. She is such a great dog, friend, companion and snuggle buddy.
What is a Pibble?
A Pibble adores her people. Her world revolves around head skritches, belly rubs, kisses and snuggles. Her purpose in life is to love her family with her whole heart. She's happiest when you're with her and she waits patiently for you when you're gone. If you want a dog who has eyes only for you...you just might need a Pibble. Pibbles are American Pit Bull Terriers, American Staffordshire Terriers, Staffordshire Bull Terriers....or any one of the three mixed with any other breed of dog. Major physical characteristics include blocky heads, muscular builds, short coats, and the most expressive eyes ever to be seen.

Yes, Happy New Year to all of us! It will be a much better year, especially if we make it happen. Today is rest day and watch College Football day. Now if only I could get mom to stop thinking the sportscasters are talking to her life would be okie dokie right about now.

Yikes, what a start to the new year. An early phone call awaken me, it was my ex-mother-in-law's daughter.... I've been best friends with my ex-Mom-in-law since 1973, weekly we would telephone each other... what a fun lady, you could be in the most fowl mood and within a couple of minutes she would have you giggling with laughter. Her son and I divorced 20 years ago, but according to her I never divorced her, so there, I am stuck with her :)

Mom-in-law [89] lives alone very capable of caring for herself, but she had fallen in her yard and after an hour a neighbor saw her and ran out to help, it was cold and rainy. She had fractured some bones and is now resting in the hospital and determined to get well as soon as she can... she has all the nurses and doctors in stitches [sorry for the pun].

How I wished I lived closer to her, but I am four hours away. I just worry about her because her daughter says the hospital care isn't the greatest, example the orderly transporter didn't even know how to move her Mom from the bed to the wheelchair to go have x-rays... the daughter had to find a back board and instruct this orderly on what to do [the daughter has worked in the medical field her whole life]. She's the type of gal you would want as your advocate, so I know Mom-in-law is in good hands. I am hoping for a speedy recovery.

Hubby barely goes near dad when I suggest it he goes for two minutes The sister in law is upset he's alone in his space. He kicks me out quite often so I sit on the stairs he wants alone time. I love my father in law and cherish every second with him but his kids are driving me a little crazy. Fyi I know we all cope different and support their needs just inside I don't get it and guess that's ok

Well I have already started to try one of my new year resolutions. It's a sorta of do it at home cognitive behavioral therapy for myself. Instead of getting "p*ssed off"with my mom's constant complaints,(this is the woman of 45 MD visits for 2014) I am trying to do actual deep breathing after one of these verbal "drive by's".Tonite just before the household(meaning me) shuts down for the night so I can get up at 0500 for her first pain med of the day she informs me " don't you think it is a little bit cold in the house" she sweetly and passively aggressively says.Now we live in the south,it is 65 degrees in the house which would be fine with her if it were July( because then it's "don't you think it is to hot in the house?".She is saying this as she is scooping out huge spoonfuls of sherbert she has just taken out of the freezer (what the what?)I made myself take 2 deep breaths, ask her as neutrally as I could "is the heater in your room not working" ,also " if I have to make it so hot in the house I have to leave you will be living alone and you know you can't do that",also offered to give her my electric blanket, reminded her that her hemoglobin and hematocrit were normal 28days ago(I have the lab results print out),offered to have her thyroid rechecked again, reminded her that she has Raynaud's which will give the sensation of cold and also "do you think eating frozen sherbert is going to help".Even before she moved in we had disconnected the gas heat from the central air and just used our gas logs if a little heat was needed but the house is well insulated. Her room with her electric heater keeps her room about 75-80 degrees and I know this because the nanny cam I have in it gives out a temp reading on the monitor and also it feels like she could grow orchids in her room.Her other little remark is again that she doesn't think " a person should have to wear insulated underwear in the house".Well, I do, I frequently go in and out of the house,because of all the dogs and the horses I dress for the weather ,I have purple ones, grey ones ,black ones and I am looking for some pink ones(they are bottoms but look like leggings and aren't thick,look like exercise pants) but she says it in this Miss Manners tone of voice like the fashion police are going to get me.I live in the country, there is no one around and the local wildlife so far have not complained.Again, I moved Zsa Zsa Gabor to Little House on the Prairie. I remember when she still lived with my father and my husband and I would visit, they had put timers on the hot water tank and didn't tell us and that was something else to find out in the middle of the shower, that is something my husband and I would have never done to my parents when they frequently visitied us.Also ,she had been living in her new house for 4 years before she finally bought a bed for either my husband or myself to lie in on the many times she called us to come up and fix something,(she actually had him sleeping on the floor, he has had 2 back surgeries.She only bought the bed after I told her there was no way we were coming back up there until she provided a decent place to sleep.Money wasn't a problem,at the time the bed issue came up she had just spent $1800 dollars for a small piece of stained glass to be installed and she can't get a cheap *ss bed/mattress for the only 2 people in the world she has to call on when she needs something?Okay,gotta deep breath again.

Gosh your lungs are going to get so healthy in 2015 Tex.
I think you are old enough to decide on your own wardrobe but as you know she is only happy when she is needling you. may be you should catch your husband's deafness and pretend you can't hear her. She will hate having to shout at you. Make a sign and put it round your neck. "CAN'T HEAR YOU MOTHER"

Hi guy's, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! I sure hope 2015 is Better for All!!! My Whine of the moment, is my whine EVERY DAY, and getting worse!!! My FIL lives w/ my husband and I in our home for the past 10 years, but that's my whine, lol. Just my intro... But my FIL HUMS, STAMMERS, Talks to himself, sorta SING-SONGY, hyyahmbabmasya like, and it drives us Crazy, and its getting worse every week!!! What is that??? HELP!! When I mention it to him he gets very defensive, denies it that bad, and says we all do weird things, but I don't think so.... Is it dementia? A weird tick? He didn't do this in the begining of living with us. If I persist in the question of it he can get really nasty, which is coming out more and more anyway. How to approach or just let it go and get earplugs? He's nearly 85, I'm tired of this, I want our life post kids back!! Wait, he moved in 1 week, after youngest moved out! We've never had a post kids period of our life yet!!! Uugggg!!!! I feel better now!!! Just venting!! Thanks, Stacey b.

freqflyer, Mom likes her shiny red one with the hand brakes also. My sister told me it was only $27.00 after Medicaid paid they're portion. Seriously worth it folks.