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Jeanette, how exciting for you! You must be beside yourself with happiness. I am SO looking forward to getting a break and visiting my son - just wish I didn't have to drive nearly 700 miles one way to do it. I can't afford to hire a caregiver for more than 4 hours a day for 4 days, so my time will be limited. It will be bittersweet. His older brother has vanished on us, won't communicate with anyone, won't answer phone calls or Facebook messages - in fact, he just recently deleted my entire family (including his sister), plus anyone related to his father, from his friends list on there. His sister was especially hurt. I know when I visit my younger son this month, he will be asking all the questions that I have no answers for - where is he, is he ok, is he doing drugs and/or alcohol, why won't he talk to us, why is he treating you this way.....and the only answers I can give are - I don't know, I don't know, yes - I'm sure he is, I don't know, I don't know. The only thing I do know is that he's running from the law and from his child support responsibilty, and that's probably why he won't talk to us, because he knows we will turn him in if we find him, because no one in my family or his dad's will give him shelter or hide him from this situation. Love him to death, but it's been a 22-year struggle to keep him on the straight and narrow. My younger son is devastated - he loved and idolized his brother, and now he doesn't know what to think of him - he's almost afraid of him now.

Anyhoo...

I'm sure Boudreaux's Butt Paste is available on Amazon - maybe you could have it shipped, CM? It's great stuff. It's meant for babies, but it works wonders on elderly skin too. We used it on Dad's legs, because they had to be sealed in bandages all the time. Another wonder drug: Medi-Honey. It healed the ulcerating sores on Dad's legs that had not healed for over 10 years. He actually had healthy, pink skin (not dead black skin) on those spots for the first time since his legs went bad on him. Took only 2 weeks of using the Medi-Honey for them to heal up completely. Unfortunately, the specialized care hospital he was in at the end of his life refused to use it or to let me bring it in to use on him myself - so his legs went right back to being ulcerated, and they went back to debriding (scrubbing) the dead tissue off the raw, open wounds twice a day and bandaging them up again. He spent the last months of his life in horrible pain because of their stupidity.

I'm excited to go on my trip, I just wish it was at a different time of year. I'm praying for good weather. Ever since I had a bad rollover accident on the ice 2 years ago, I'm a big chicken about driving in snow and ice - not a great thing for someone living in Michigan.

Planning meals like meatloaf, turkey breast, casseroles and such for the next week so I can make extra to put in the freezer for mom's meals when I'm gone. Thinking I'm going to be meeting myself coming and going in the next week or so.
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Jessie - I'm a frustrated writer, can you tell? LOL I get into something like that and run with it. God help the world if I ever do find time to write a book.
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jeanette,
the road noise is probably being caused by low level of differential oil . they put up a pretty loud howl as soon as the gear oil gets low -- but -- you probably have a leaking pinion seal or wheel bearing seal . not all that expensive of a repair even if a bearing is bad .
my cuz's ( pia ) engine locked up in her minivan . im sure it was about a year ago that i explained to her how important it is to get dirty oil out of her engine as soon as it began feeling gritty between the fingertips . shes particularily thickheaded and i knew she wasnt listening . i emailed and offered her a ride to see her mom or anywhere else she might need to go . its kind of fun being nice to someone whos trying to be vengeful to you . it leaves them rather bewildered .
i saw edna today and shes not doing very well . she is shaky from her very innards , says everything feels wrong and her head constantly aches . shes not distressed but at 91 with advanced dementia and no appetite i dont think shes long for this world . ill forever despise pia for stopping our outings and essentially incarcerating her mom but ill never let the scumbag know how bad she hurt " us " . ill get my revenge by living well and with the memories of all the fun edna and i had for a year .
and ill keep my motor oil clean .
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Cap, I worry about you... especially now with Edna becoming so frail. I don't care what you say... death isn't pleasant, not for the living left behind. How I wish you could break Edna out for one more fun outing with you. Personally, I think it would do you both good. Sorry buddy... you've been so good to both your girls and I am positive they know and appreciate all you've done.

I have my mechanic coming by tomorrow to look at it. Google say's it's something to do with the differential thing. It's parked. Went to pull out my Endeavor and well, it had a front flat tire. Damnit man. Fix a flat didn't inflate it. My carer's male friend came by, he had a compressor and inflated it for me, so then I high tailed it the the tire place. Bought 2 matching pairs of 70% high end tires for $100.00 bucks!! Included installation and disposal of crappy tires.

Susan, when are you leaving? Be sure to let us know so we don't worry too much :) 700 miles is a LONG trek! Sorry about your son who wants to disappear from life. One day when he gets older he hopefully, will realize it would have been easier just to face it and get it over with. Moms and their sons, boy... what we do for them.

I hope it's not a costly repair for the Jeep. Took both mom and myself to the eye doc, got new contacts and... haha, broke for the rest of January now! I may have to re-think my retirement plans since everything is getting more expensive and the value of my dollar keeps going down. Bummer
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well , edna and i cant go out in the wintertime , shed chill in a matter of seconds but its pretty sad that shes been locked away for 6 months just because pia wanted some cheap revenge on me . the bigger picture is i formed a great bond with the two g kids this summer . an intrastate divorce had kept me from seeing them for at least 2 years . i cant get fixated on one little agitation and let other relationships suffer or fail to transpire .
edna doesnt remember our year of country tripping because of course her most current memories are barely retained but we had a lot of fun , made up lost time and something in her memory still loves that little truck we rode in .
upon my first visit to phsyc doc back in the spring , doc said " oh man , edna is helping you as much as your helping her right now " . ive made it a point ever since to hang onto those words and try to understand in how many ways doc was correct .
jeanette , i hope you have good luck with the used tires . the dam rubber in them tends to age and harden and they tend to slow leak around the rim . your best insurance would be to get a 25 . 00 12 volt air compressor . they plug into the cigarette lighter and are a real lifesaver if you have a low or flat tire .
i had a flat tire upon leaving the factory one morning many years ago and as a few of us were standing around contemplating putting the spare tire on one of my coworkers saw my 12 volt compressor lying in the trunk and had the audacity to suggest i just air up the flat tire and go get it fixed . ( DUH )
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Jeanette, I'm headed out in a couple of weeks, but I'll be in touch!
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Esskay My mom has been in a NH for 11 years. I talked to her last week don't think she knew who I was but she keep telling me she had 4 buildings and my brother sold them all. Now she never had 4 buildings she had 2 and they are still there. Her apt is just as she left it, even to her clothes in the closet. My brother was there with her at the time, He had just got her hearing aids! He thinks this is going to make her better. She thought we were all trying to poison her her mother was trying to kill her, then her mom was not her mom, then she had things planted in her brain and things in her blood. Sometimes this changed but the one thing that never changes is we sold her buildings! We used to take her home to her apt for a few hours then she told us she didn't like going there to many bad memories she said. But she knew she owned the house next door . Only by then she thought she own most of the block !!! It will not get better but some things they do not forget memories to them I guess. no matter how wrong they are
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Her mom is dead now but she still thinks she is alive and trying to kill her. I know the age thing sounds strange , but my Gmom was 98 when she died my mom is 87 now I am 70. People live a long time in my family, Blessing or cruse? In my moms case I don't think it is a blessing. but she is in good health just she is not there any more. scares the crap out of me
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These were actually really nice looking tires! I normally use the Jeep during the winter and keep my FL warm in the garage... LOL, how gosh that sounds... Just saves wear and tear per vehicle is all. Besides, who can afford 400 bucks for TWO tires? Not me... and these are really nice for used tires.

Being single and a DIY'er, I try and have everything needed in case of emergencies... apparently not today. Truly I hate counting on other people to help me out, today I was grateful ...

I am so tired tonight... not even 9 and I'm ready for bed. Mom's tipsy walking is making me insane. I just want to "straighten"her up!

YAY!! My son is almost here! ohmahgod I could almost cry... it's been so long since I've had a friend around me. Doesn't matter if he's my son, he is also my best friend. He said I could take TWO days off (minus depend changes and potties)... oh sheer heaven, what shall I do?
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Ok. Not sure who is being the bigger baby here, me or mom. Like I've said, she is now leaning far to the right, which makes her topsy on the right. So, after begging her to sit down for 5 friggin seconds *she wouldn't* she toppled to the right... not the first time today either. Nope, not killing my back or hurting her shoulders trying to stand her up again. Swear to life she can walk a thousand miles around this house but she cannot figure out how to turn herself on her knees to stand herself up. Nope. You may think I am being unfair... but she's managed to scoot her butt into the living room, right next to her chair, what chair, that chair, where?, there... that chair, OMG yes, THAT CHAIR, and guess what?... she just told me it's HER chair. Well fine. Get up and get in your chair. Really? This is what happens when you get tired...
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jeanette,
you dont think your mom is near death but her actions sound like terminal restlessness to me . whatever the case it sure sounds like its beating you down .
after my mom passed away it took me about a year to even get the wild eyed look out of my eyes .
ive figured out how some fortunate entrepreneur can make themselves rich . upon googling around last night i find that im not the only one looking for a downloadable mouse cursor shaped like male genitalia . i can think of so many satisfying uses for it . angie merkel ? bam , right in the eye . woopie goldburg ? in the ear .
* sigh * . maybe im not all better just yet ..
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i have to go work in the cold today - cant let " crack - ey " run out of crack ..
id rather spend the day trying to hack digital highway information signs .
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Jeanette....Mama did the exact same thing right before got to where she started LIVING in her lift chair...it was a mixed emotion thing for me, sad that she no longer wanted to, or even could get up and walk around and yet glad that she was no longer wanting to or able to get up and walk around.... prior to that, I would tell her, now is there anything you need... "No, I'm just fine"...ok Mama I'm going to the bathroom, I'll be RIGHT back..don't move.... "I'm fine..I won't"....I'm back in a couple of minutes...and she is up and going back and forth in the den or trying to get through the levolor blinds so she can go out in the yard....It was unbelievable to me that she could barely get around when I was trying to help her go, but let me leave the room for two seconds and she was trying out for the Olympic track and field events...it was and is heartbreaking that she can no longer get up and about, and yet, in some ways probably a blessing in disguise because it got to where everytime she fell she would fracture something...It's a bad situation either way...and yes, oh mercy how it wears on you......I remember after some of those nights of roaming I literally would imagine myself just hurling myself over the railing of the back deck...
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OK...question....there are a myriad of bugs, colds, viruses, etc. all over the place right now and our area has been really hard hit ....our bathing aid came down with the flu and did not show up Monday....no on even called to tell me until late Monday when a very cheery person called to tell me they were filling in for her and they would be here in a few minutes...Well, thank you for the advance notice, but it is now going on 2 PM and I gave Mama her bath a LONG time ago and we would not need them today...thank you...same with our normal nurse...they sent her to a different area monday and no one ever came..or called...period.. NOW ON TO THE QUESTION...This morning, I was almost fearful our bathing aid would try to come out and knowing she was getting over the flu I got up and made haste to bathe and change Mama and already had her set for the day when I got a text from our usual aid saying she was back to work and asking if she could come on out. I told her I appreciated it but I was afraid she might still be contagious and also didn't know what the scheduling was going to be today so I went ahead and bathed her and hoped she was feeling better. She and I are OK, I don't blame anyone for being sick..it happens...she was insistent that she was ok to come out because she did not have a fever...I have heard that if that is the case you are not contagious..BUT...she was throwing up and flat in the bed Monday afternoon...I'm not willing to risk it...was I wrong to not want them to come out???? It won't take but one more bad cold even to take Mama out...I'm not going to risk it for something I can do myself...and this has been going on two weeks without the bathing aid, (she was on vacation last week) so I'm exhausted but still not willing to put Mama at risk for a bath...that i can do. comments??? what have yall done in such cases?
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I think you did the right thing. Personally, I don't want anyone around if they have the slightest thought they might be catching something. My carer was telling me that most often it's not AD that causes actual death, it's pneumonia or falls that lead the way to death. THIS is why I follow her around like a shadow ... this is also why I just let her sit on her bottom last night and watch tv with me. Got her a warm snuggly blanket, propped her up against the couch and voila`... life became peaceful for awhile. She won't even attempt to stand on her own, I have to do it all for her. Thank God for youtube and video's on how to properly stand an elderly person back up. Anyway, if it was just the pacing, I've learned to adjust to that, but this lopsided topsy turvy pacing is a nightmare AND an accident waiting to happen, not to mention crashing into things, knocking them over and spilling their entire full glass of ensure.
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That is exactly how I feel Jeanette! That is what I have heard time and time again..it is usually not the AD that does them in but pneumonia, a fall, even a really bad cold when someone is very frail....so I had a long talk with all of them today...in the kindest possible way and let them know my thoughts and feelings....The nurse told me she felt the same way I did and this was my Mother and she would be just like me....so I guess being a pitbull is ok when we're protecting those we love. :) So glad you and your Mom had a good time together and that's great that you had that idea...probably felt kind of like a girlfriend sleepover like when we were little girls.. :)
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Hope, you did the right thing. Gotta look out for you and yours, even if it means cancelling a few appts or such. Mom hasn't had so much as a cold since I moved in, and neither have I - which I attribute to the fact that neither of us gets out a whole lot among the germ-passing population. I keep natural supplements on hand for the occasional sore throat, which kills the bacteria/virus and keeps anything more serious at bay. So far, so good.

Mom is back to her normal self - normal for her, anyway. LOL Slept almost round the clock for 2 days, now she's up for 4-5 hours at a time and then sleeping - soundly - for a couple of hours, affording me some much-needed time to myself, even if it's only to work or do things around the house. It's just disconcerting when she goes into "sloth mode" and sleeps so much, but it's always been this way. I guess it bothers me now because she's older and it makes me wonder if it's something serious - but apparently it's not. Just SSDD for her. (Same Sh*t, Different Day.)

Ugh. Ex asked if I was still coming to see our youngest this month, and I told him yes, and gave him the dates - he seemed reluctant and kind of hemming and hawing - but said there was no problem with the dates I gave him. Good darn thing there isn't, because short of some major vehicle catastrophe or ice storm, I AM GOING TO MAKE THIS TRIP. I've already had to cancel twice, lost money both times due to reservations made and cancelled - I am not doing it again!
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Mama never used to have colds, or anything else...and once she became bedfast, and hospice started coming..with the various aids and social workers and such, it is like she started getting sick right and left...I have had them come in and AFTER they are here comment that they have been fighting the flu, a cold...WTH???? why would anyone, especially a hospice person come around an individual whose health is already compromised and risk it...I have just now gotten Mama back to where she has begun to eat, stopped vomiting, etc. and I am not willing to risk it, whether or not someone says they aren't contagious...if you were flat on your back a day ago there is no way I want to even think of risking that....
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Ugh, I hate when people do that, Hope - they *know* they are working with a vulnerable population (elderly) with weakened/compromised immune systems - and they are supposed to be healthcare professionals - at least some of them - and they still show up while still contagious. I'm touchy about that - I know how easy it is for Mom to get something like pneumonia, and that could be the very thing that would take her down.
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I use a lot of bleach here... bleach counter spray, bleach bathroom spray, bleach in the mopping water and of course, basically all mom's laundry. Long ago one of my brothers asked WHY I use bleach in everything... and there ya go, some people have zero common sense.

Cap, no, I don't think this is terminal restlessness ... saw it first hand with my dad and this is not even close. It's plain restlessness. Keeping her awake and busy during the day isn't enough to stop the night time moving. I don't think it's an awful thing to have her sitting on her butt in the evenings, it sure will keep her safer. I use the seat belt in her transfer chair during meals so she HAS to stay put and eat (with assistance).... like I've said, if she wasn't so wobbly her pacing wouldn't bother me at all, unless of course she's standing right in front of the tv during the playoffs!!

I keep a laundry basket full of towels in the living room for her. Do you think she realizes she's folding the same stuff day after day? LOL, that makes me feel bad also.

hope, so nice that your mama is feeling better! Keep those contagious people far away!!
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Same here, Jeanette - I use Clorox wipes in the bathroom to wipe down the seat after Mom, because it's not clean when she's done, and to wipe down the base of the toilet, because she dribbles. I use bleach in the dishwater when I wash dishes as well, and her clothing is washed with bleach and hot water as well (whatever clothes will tolerate it, of course) - because of her accidents. It's the only way I can be sure they're getting really clean.

I bet your mama doesn't care that she's folding the same thing day after day, Jeanette - it keeps her busy. I have mom fold now and then, but to be honest, it creates more work for me, because I have to re-fold and re-sort everything, because she mixes it all together and folds differently than I do (towels she folds don't fit on the shelf, so I have to re-fold - things like that). So I let her help when I can, but I usually do it myself, late at night, in my room.
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This basket of towels is specifically for her to use. Creates less work for me and something to do for her. She also folds differently, more of a wad it all up kind of fold. hehe.. that's also how she used to make the bed, just wad it all up in the middle. Poor daddy would just look at it and try to unravel it so he could lay down. Thankfully, we have LOTS of towels. When I moved here I packed a lot of my breakables in towels and those peanut things, so a towel shortage will never ever happen here.

I use bleach in my dishwater also. This came from working at a Private School for so long... it was mandatory to keep down the spread of germs. Those Clorox clean ups are great but I had to take them out of her bathroom since she'd pull them out to wipe her face or her nethers. They do look a lot like wet naps so.... in her defense, LOL, they had to leave her bathroom and was replaced by an awesome baby wipe warmer :) If you don't have one of those, I'd highly recommend it.

Slow quiet day here, whew... had to drag out the rug shampooer to clean her strawberry ensure spill and a few pee pee spots from my old blind guy. It's not his fault, he does wear a belly band but it slips and not always catches everything. That's another must have for elderly (humans and pets)...
carpet cleaner!
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I with yall on all the bleaches, sanitizers, I even boil the water I wash the dishes in and rinse them in boiling water. My hands look horrendous...even with the little disposable gloves I use, the constant washing, boiling, sanitizing has ruined my skin...even with constant good quality moisturizers including petroleum jelly in really cold weather.. It is so cold here...I cannot get warm and haven't seen the sun in days and days....ugh
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Hope you certainly have my support in keeping germy people away from Mama. You can go even further. Every time someone comes to the house insist they put on a mask and wash their hands and put on gloves. Have either paper towels in the bathroom or preferably a small pile of clean hand towels. After they have gone wipe everything down with your favorite bleach and if used put the hand towel staight in the next load of laundry. You can buy masks at the pharmacy, they come in a box like the disposeable gloves. Now for your hands buy yourself a pair or two of sturdy household gloves, the heavy duty ones that last and use those when you are doing dishes etc. Before you take them off you can rinse your gloved hands in bleach then rinse them off. Buy some cotton gloves, the $1 store may have them and get a tin of Bag balm. Some pharmacies carry it or if you can't find it go to a farm supply store. It is used on cows with sore udders (works well for nursing moms too) Once you are in bed slather your hands with a thick layer and put on your cotton gloves for the night.In the day time also wear cotton gloves for household chores. Does your heating system have a humidifier on it? If not think about buying a portable humidifier. If thats too expensive keep bowls of water by the radiators or air vents. Even hanging wet laundry to dry in the living area will help.

Jeanette I think it is a very good idea to keep Mom safe sitting on the floor
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Now for my whine.
Got the results of the biopsies taken during my EGD and colonoscopy. All were negative which is a very good thing of course but what I am whining about is that the GI said the inflamation in my esophagus is probably due to my PERCIEVED swallowing difficulty. I guess the radiologist percieved the barium stuck in the back of my throat and the stuff I aspirated into my lungs and the neurologist percieved the weakness in my neck muscles. Somewhat pissed off now!
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Oh wow!! I've been using Bag Balm since I was maybe 3? Back then it was for my saddles/bridles, lately, feet/hands/elbows!! I have a green tin of it sitting right here :) Ha, not many people know if this wonder balm ;) that and DSMO have been my parents savior for ever! Works for me as well.

Veronica, I am going to perceive that YOU have the right to be somewhat pissed off right now. Do not let them perceive something is wrong, and thank you for your kind words. At times I think I should do more... and feel bad when I do have her sit her bottom down. It is for her best interest.... and I am not restraining her nor sending her to a memory unit. Get's hard tho... very hard.
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Hope, every winter I use to hate my hands because it felt like I had a dozen of paper cuts.... I tried so many different hand lotions with zero luck. One day I was roaming through Home Depot, waiting for my Dad to decide on what light bulb to buy, when I came across a small green container called O'Keeffe's Working Hands Hand Cream.... for the first time in decades I don't have those winter paper cuts on my hands :)
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ff, Bag Balm has been around forever... green tin. Just like your O'Keeffe's stuff.
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I have heard of the bag balm but never tried it, but will get some for sure...will check out the OKeeffe's too..thanks all...I used to have pretty hands...they look like lobster claws most days now...Mama was doing so well and now she seems to be getting stuffed up again...I have gotten on this immediately ...so hopefully can nip it in the bud but not as easy now that she is so fragile. I think I mentioned that last Friday the aid who bathes her and had just gotten back from vacation told me after she was already here that someone in their group came down with the flu and she was afraid she was coming down with it the night before but now she thought it was not so...but then she was out Monday flat on her back...and headed here today..til I managed to stop that in its tracks. Veronica...I have wondered if those masks would be helpful...and since you have mentioned now I am definitely going to get some...that is an excellent idea..even for me when I start feeling "iffy"...anything to keep Mama from catching something...tonight her fever spiked to 102.7 so I immediately got her on the prescribed strength Tylenol and am keeping plenty of fluids in her...She has already eaten enough today (ensure) and because her breathing seemed sketchy, I gave her a couple of dots of her morphine..this is probably the fourth time I have used it over the course of an entire year..I don't like to use it..but her nose was so stuffed up and her breathing so struggled, that always seems to help. I cleared it with her nurse too and she told me to do it...and now Mama is finally resting...

I do have a new humidifier and that seems to be helping both mama and me. I also enjoy the "white noise" it makes...right now it looks like an ICU unit in our den...but I guess whatever works...thank you all...the gloves on my hands sounds like a great idea too!!
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I also use bag balm and OKeefes.. on my feet!! My heels crack and so I slather it on and sleep with socks.. and put in on in the morning before I put my socks and shoes on, really helps! And the tin is pretty (small pleasures)
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