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He was told last week he has low blood platelets and should see a hematologist. Said no they just stick you!!!
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Today he decided to try and eat something. so he is going to make a bake potato. Has a potato in his hand and ask me don't we have any potatoes? I said you have a potato in your hand. He said O I do? I"M scared
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Guilty for complaining? Seriously. I just read your profile. You're taking care of a man who is not old, i.e.70 with cancer and you thinking your complaining?

You have every right to complain, whine, cry. Plus your mom is in a NH with alz/dementia?

Whine and complain all you want. That's what this board is all about! It's hard to watch our loved ones hurting.

Hmmmm.....so, he cleans the pool while your not home if it's dirty? Does he use it, too? I don't know what I'd do about that. Is his primary illness cancer ? Can you talk to him about not cleaning the pool because you are worried about him falling in?

I'm thinking that answer is 'no'?
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youtube/watch?v=wqK1NEpNBic

Hurry and look... if it's too late just youtube it. Yes, I got sideswiped but... just look.
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Here is the AD commercial showing the way it is now vs the hopeful side. Maybe the link will stay up for a while. Not a bad commercial, but I wonder how long it will be to a cure.

youtube/watch?v=wqK1NEpNBic
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Oh, Jeanette. I see you posted it, too. I should have read on to the last message. :)
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No, it's ok Jessie love... I was starting to feel like I was seeing things. They were a bit tricky.... sigh... least they're trying, right?
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A trouble I am having is I've gotten jaded in my old age. I've heard tongues wag raising money to cure things since I was old enough to hear. And no one has cured most of these things yet. There have been advanced, but it usually has to do with cutting things out, then wapping the body with chemical hammers that feel worse than the disease itself and can have long-term consequences. We have more cancer than ever. Colds, the flu, and AIDS are still around. People are still having strokes, though fewer people are dying from heart attacks -- probably because fewer smoke and watch their weight better now. All the money being poured into research, and I haven't heard of any fantastic breakthrough since polio that I remember. Maybe someone can remind me of other major breakthroughs that I've forgotten.
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Oh, we do have transplants. That was a breakthrough.
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Jeanette, you are absolutely right and this method of marketing - holding out a distant hope like that - is a revolting, emotionally-blackmailing disgrace. As anybody who had any direct experience of AD would understand. They do the same with cancer, with MND, with MS… give us your money and we'll find a cure. Like buggery they will, what they'll actually do is employ a good many lobbyists; and meanwhile the people who are living in reality with these conditions, here and now, what about them? How are they supposed to react to the exciting news, e.g., that by 2050 AD will be no more? That no child of the future will die of leukaemia? That breast cancer will be a matter of taking a once-a-day pill for a week?

When I bump into the guilty copywriters I give them a piece of my mind (assuming they're too big to go over my knee). The trouble is that too many of them are young and callow and have no emotional understanding of what they're required to write about. Their campaigns are then signed off by people who just want something that looks nice and gets the money in. I hate it, hate it, hate it.
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i can tell you about an incredible breakthru -- hepc . 15 yrs ago i was told to hang in there , meds were in the developmental stages . of course you figure itll happen too late to help me but in this case they werent kidding . my liver is healing , feeling better every day and the body rushes of o2 / energy have never stopped . ive been putting in 8 hour days all fall and winter wheras 5 hours used to wipe me out .
id like to rest today instead of sloshing around in the slush and light snow , but -- crack - y wants to work ..
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Oh guys, there is a campaign in this house to google all the fund raisers who send us free preprinted labels birthday cards and the like. Go to the organization web sites and find out how much of your contribution actually goes to the cause it is suposed to help. if you are really lucky 10% of your doanation actually goes anywhere near that poor starving child in Africa and that is before the local gove has skimmed off their share. hubby was in malawi (at his own expence) several times doing research on finding help for children with the effects of AIDs. All the famous charities were there with plenty of workers. the locals called them "Great Whites" that was because they drove big white SUVs down the mud roads splashing the natives as they roared past. In the meantime there were rarely enough rubber gloves for the staff in the hospital to care for the patients or use in the lab. There were fantastic opportunities for Dr from all over the world to gain experience with diseases and conditions they could never see in a western hospitals. These were highly trained specialists in their field and they worked for free. There wer abundant local fruits etc as it is tropical but the natives ate a corn gruel. When he left hubby offered the cleaner the blankets from his bed becuse it gets very chilly in the rainy season. She just laughed and said "I don't have a bed to put them on!" Every rental house came with a gardener, cleaner/cook and a guard.
Pharmaceuticals were not available but they could be ordered from India. M had to open a local bank account and when he left had about $100 left andtold another aid worker they could have it. When she went to the bank to cash the check she was told there was no money. stealing is a way of life there along with corruption. foreign aid even if it reaches it's destination is simply seem as a way to turn the goods into income. These days we concentrate our charity on local causes like the local food banks or individuals we know are in trouble where we know it reaches it's
destination. Very very sad but at least we try to do what we can to prevent fundraisers from getting rich.
So CM stop contributing you pieces of mind to these people it's a waste of time.
Now don't get me wrong i have no problems with Irish people or mean any offence to other posters (My mother did not know if her father was Irish or Scottish!) A charming kind wife of a Senior Cardiologist in the South took me to a lunch meeting where and an Iris man was the featured speaker. At the end she wanted me to actually me the man whose views I did not appreciate so I went politely. So when the introductions were made I smiled and said very quietly " I come from the other side of the Irish sea" We both kept smiling and finished shaking hands and I returned to my gracious hostess. Well rambling as usual but it does feel safe here to express my views.
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Fundraising, aye ay ay. Sometimes I wonder how many thousand veteran organizations we actually need. We get deluged here with requests from veteran organizations. I am beginning to think there must be one for every soldier out there. In reality I think many nonprofits are to provide jobs for fundraisers. I think the government needs to look more closely at the need for an organization before it grants another 403c.
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We still get those pre-printed mailing labels from the Veterans, plus a shiny nickel taped on the inside. I informed them well over a year ago that daddy had passed and to please stop sending them, but alas... another new nickel arrived in the mail. Now, I have to wonder how many shiny nickels actually get someone to donate money? Since my dad was a vet, I simply place the shiny nickel next to his Urn and tell him they said "Thanks".

On a fantastically happy note, mom slept the entire flippin night!! Nothing like a good BM to make on relaxed enough to sleep :)
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I just looked at 403c. What is that? Could I have meant 501c3? I better get some LTC insurance fast.

Oooh, I don't like the nickels and pennies. It is an old trick to get people to open the wallets to "pay" for the gift. And I really hate the telemarketer fundraisers. The phone is quiet this morning, but tomorrow is Telemarketer Tuesday. They go crazy on Tuesday for some reason.
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Jeanette, going through same thing with my mom. Forgets what she's supposed to do in bathroom and constipated all the time. Try this - warm 8 ounces of prune juice in microwave and add one dose of Phillips milk of magnesia and have her drink it all as quickly as she can. It works! I've also been known to resort to magnesium citrate or suppositories. I try to get her to eat lots of fiber and drink more water, but she doesn't always go along with the program.

Well, all of those charity organizations should be required to send a statement with each request for assistance. Disgusts me that some folks working for non-profits actually live the high life. Either they have no clue or they just want to take advantage. If I don't agree with how they spend the donations I don't contribute.
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I too have a huge issue with the hundreds and thousands of organizations who are "raising money for the cure" causes and as others have mentioned, if 10% of that money actually goes to the cause you are lucky. It is disgusting....I have always donated my life away and now in my later years discovered so many of those groups were making boocoos in salaries and little if anything to the people they are supposed to be helping...Another issue and I don't want to get wacked for it, but the religious programming that I will refrain from specifically naming but one in particular that is VERY well known and the whole time it is on it is harping about donations and how so and so was literally drowning in debt and then they had an epiphany about wanting to give and so now they are giving a mega load of cash each month and they are wealthy so why do you do it too???? It makes me want to wretch....and how many of our elderly are goaded into giving to them...

Well, on a lighter gripe free comment, I am proud of me this morning. I kept reminding myself that the truck with the claw thingee comes on Mondays so I got busy early this morning and cleared out the attic and got all that junk on the curb for the man and right about the time I got it there, here came the truck and it is GONE!!!! I am so proud of me...NOW I have room to start moving my NH supplies for a clutter free area and am going to really get cracking on my projects like I have been wanting to do. Starting from the attic and moving all the way down to the basement, going to get rid of stuff right and left and make it easy to keep it nice and neat. Anyone who has pets also knows that when you have clutter you are just asking for additional problems because they love love getting into the stuff and either tearing it up and tee tee ing on it....I am feeling so much better already!!!
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I look closely at organizations that zero in on "cash cow" categories, e.g. veterans and children. So many of these organizations are totally redundant and not very effective at what they do.

My favorite disabled vet "program" was done recently in Anniston. There was a vet who returned totally disabled (quadriplegic). The community saw his need and built him a home that met his needs. I thought how nice it would be if all communities could meet the special needs like this. It was efficient and transparent. Local companies also contributed, so building costs were probably less. What a great idea. Maybe we should look in our own communities.
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Perhaps some of those non profit organizations should have a salary cap on what they pay themselves also.

For some reason I could not find any prune juice yesterday. I was in the juice section, thousands of different cranberry juice, loads of every juice imaginable but prune juice. I have bought it there before but now it's gone?... unless they moved it to the incontinent section? She's only had this problem one other time but I do envision it increasing as time goes by :( also... I did resort to magnesium citrate. The pharmacist recommended this route as it would be quicker to ease her discomfort. She should be fully eased since she woke up fully loaded!! LOL Once upon a time that would have bothered me, now however, I'd rather clean her up than see her straining, upset and pacing for days. Small price to pay. She doesn't have a problem drinking liquids, including water. She drinks more than I do that's for sure.

Man... I just realized I've been talking about poop for 2 days now. Really?
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Jessie, what type of community? One for our parent's?

From what I understand, those non profit agencies have to disclose their taxes if asked, or you can simply look them up online. I've did that with a few shady animal rescue's who beg for money to buy a $16,000 therapy pool for dogs but... post pics of their family in it.
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CM, I know what you mean about the religious channels. There are some preachers who promise if you give 10%, then it will come back tenfold. Well, yes, this is true if you receive the same paycheck each time -- doh. If you make $3000 and tithe $300, then you are going to get $3000 the next time, too.

I can personally attest that giving 10% doesn't guarantee that you'll get it back tenfold. I've had months when I make pretty much nothing at all. It doesn't matter how much I gave the month before.

I do give to my mother's church, because I agree with what they do with the money. I also like that my mother enjoys the church, so I do not mind putting in my widow's mite of support. But I can guarantee that giving to God does not bring things back tenfold, no matter what we read or are told.
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It seems to me when I had to buy prune juice from my parents it was located by the canned fruit instead of the juice section.
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Jeanette...I have seen the prune juice in the section where raisins and dried fruit are, and I have seen it in the canned fruit aisle and also in the juice section..Maybe they think if they keep moving it around it will make folks walk enough that they won't need the prune juice.... lol.....sorry, not funny..

I think I am a little delirious because I actually accomplished something today...and did so early so now I have other projects earmarked....

I saw the segment on the news about the building of the home for the veteran and that was excellent. I have begun trying to help organizations and folks directly or groups I KNOW I can trust...there are way too many groups out there who have suddenly found a new way to zero in on folks and make a ton of money and could actually care less about what they allege to be trying to help..a sad but true fact of life now...God will get em one day for that...I hope...

Well, it is cold, dreary and icky out so a good day to continue my indoor progress....I sat down to take a little break and the longer I am sitting the more my mind starts wandering towards the word "nap"...no no NO...must not do that on a day that has started out so ambitiously.... :)
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Jeanette, one for the "you know you're a caregiver if" board...you talk about poop for 2 days". LOL!
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Go, Hope! I really need to do the same thing (clear out the clutter). Such a good feeling when everything's neat and tidy. Thought I'd better clarify - clear out the household clutter, not clear out the bowel clutter. Oh boy, I'm getting loopy. Had my favorite dark chocolate covered goji berries for dessert and now I'm a little loopy. On the plus side - they have 20% of the RDA for vitamin C and lots of healthy antioxidants. Hey, gotta justify eating them, right?
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Ha!! What is even funnier is people actually KNOW what aisle the prune juice is on!!

I saw the news segment on the house for the vet also. Brought tears to my eyes. Happy tears.

Dark chocolate covered goji berries?? ohmahgod that sounds too good to be true!! What isle are they on ;)

It's still early here so I've not had enough coffee to fully energize and reading hope's energetic day is more fun:) Everyone's been fed, cleaned and taken for a quick walk and now it's a medley of late morning snores laying in the sun that's shining through the window :) which includes mom since the sun is hitting her recliner in just the right spot. It might be 40 outside but the window sun is nice n toasty!!
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Today is my day for the whine moment. Took Mom shopping. I just wasn't into it at all. My mind was in a dozen other places and listening to her non-stop one way chatter about the soap opera going on in her Indep living place was so annoying: all the while driving in traffic. I tried to insert a comment here and there and she kept brushing me off, cutting me off. It was all I could do to keep myself from bursting out, "UGH, I can't stand this anymore!" I held it in until we were in the Chinese restaurant.

It was time for Mom to order and they had an unusual amount of included food and choices to make. She had been there once before but she was very indecisive and although I explained how the special worked, she wasn't showing any signs of getting it, dissed me and said outloud how the waiter can explain it to her. Being hungry and rolling my eyes when the waiter came. I ordered quickly and my mother still wasn't ready. All I said were 2 words to the waiter: and I said it under my breath, but you know about selective hearing: I said to him, "Have fun."
"Well!! That's my daughter. I wish I had a different daughter. She's so mean to me..."

Let that pass, but geez. How much can one take of this crap? Still I am very grateful things are not worse! Ok. Done whining. I'm back home where I don't have to deal with anything else but me. The internet radio station is playing soft music with nature sounds. I'm coming back to my normal.
AAHHHHHHHHH. And thank God for you guys!
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Just want to add that perhaps my anger and lack of patience with Mom has a lot to do with grieving the loss of the days when I used to have real conversations with her.
Do you find that to be true for you too? Maybe what I need is a good cry.
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judda, I think your anger is an accumulation of many things, not just grieving the loss of the mom that once was. I bet even Jean Cleaver?...lost her patience at times and she was just dealing with kids, not adult willfully kids that you once looked up to. I'd be annoyed too when she said unkind things in front of the waiter... human nature even if she can't help it and it's the disease, well, we don't have it and neither do strangers know she has it. You get what I'm saying... sucks all the way around. Ohhh, I love listening to music with nature sounds... it's my "please God help me go to sleep and relax" music and of course, a good cry never hurts.

I've been in the kitchen making a giant mess with my Ninja Blender coming up with a fortifying juice mom will drink. So far a made a full blender containing a cup of plain greek yogurt, 2 apples, an entire bag of spinach, 2 cucumbers, 2 red peppers, 4 oranges, cup of frozen strawberries, blackberries and blueberries from the yard last year that I froze, so that's 3 cups berries altogether, 2 banana's, handful of grapes and a cup of broccoli. To keep it somewhat thinned I did add 2 strawberry ensures. Then.... I filled up 4 ice trays with my concoction and am freezing it now. My plan is to add 2 cubes to each ensure she drinks, maybe even more, depends on how much actual food I can get her to eat. So far she drank a BIG glass of it already :) Now, if my kitchen would clean itself I'd be a happy camper!
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I completely believe that all of it accumulates and accumulates and finally you just blow a gasket....that is exactly what happened to me recently right there in front of the hospice nurse and aid. it was UGLY....I cried and cried and cried and even threw a couple of four letter doozies in there then started blubbering about mooning Mama again and every thing was really serious and dramatic and then the mooning thing caught them off guard and they both were looking at each other and all of a sudden the started howling which made me laugh to and so long story short I got it all out of my system and so far have felt so much better...I just think it's better to find an outlet and get it out before it becomes something that could be a danger to you or your loved one....I am not crazy I don't think but I have resorted to reaching a point where I take a big fat pillow and go in the bathroom and close the door and just hit myself in the head with the pillow until I feel totally worn out on top of feeling ridiculous and once again, it's out of my system....

I have been adding natural honey and probiotics to Mama's ensure concoctions and for her it seems to be regulating her system to where things are a bit more normal....the honey I found recently is some of the best I have had a a long time and I have always heard it has natural healing properties..as long as your not allergic to it...I could eat that whole jar with a spoon....
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