Follow
Share
Read More
Veronica - you mean Wizard of Oz? Those flying monkeys are terrifying! You'd better not go see the musical because I've heard they fly out of the audience's heads!
(1)
Report

I mean fly out OVER the audience's heads! Sheesh! Talk about outer space haha!
(2)
Report

LOL.....flying monkeys, poltergeists, boogeymen...kind of like another day in the life of every caregiver, right?? :)
(1)
Report

Yes it is hope!! And all those above mentioned visited mom last night... she talked and walked with them literally ALL NIGHT and has only slept maybe an hour so far today. Least one thing is for sure... when she crashes it will be for quite a long time and I will be able to get some sleep cuz my eyeballs hurt.
(1)
Report

Jeanette - yes, mom is definitely changing rapidly - like I said, it seems like it's on a cycle of about every 2 weeks with some new symptom of dementia or just plain old aging. My sister and I discussed this today and she marvelled at how well mom "keeps it together" when she has company, and appears like nothing is wrong. I told her it's a coping mechanism - she *knows* her memory is slipping, so she stays relatively quiet and doesn't initiate conversation - that way, no one can *see* that her memory is slipping. I told her that no one but me is here 24/7, and that's why no one thinks she's in as bad a shape as she really is - because when they stop by for a brief visit, she's all smiles and seems fine - they don't see the bathroom issues, the forgetfulness, etc. Since Dad passed away 2 years ago, it's gotten far worse. If I hadn't moved in to make sure she takes her pills, takes a shower, changes clothes, the bills get paid, etc - she'd be in very poor shape both physically and financially. If I left and she suddenly had to do it all herself, she'd be in a nursing home inside of a few months, I think. (Not tooting my own horn, just saying...that's how bad she's gotten in the space of 2 years.)

Scary movies...I have a list of those that I cannot watch - some I *will* watch, just to prove to myself I can do it without flinching, because they once scared the hell out of me. LOL

MAGIC - 1970's, with Anthony Hopkins and Burgess Meredith...and that criminally insane ventriloquist's dummy - FATS. *That* one did me in. Somehow, I ended up watching that when I was *far* too young to do so - like 7 years old. Scarred me for life, it did. I *hate* ventriloquist dummies to this day, or any story or movie about dolls that come to life. They give me nightmares. I love dummies like Peanut and Walter (Jeff Dunham) - just not ones that look like that G*D* Fats.

CHILD'S PLAY - yes, the Chuckie movies. Can't stand them. Though I have to say, the later ones are pretty ridiculous and far from frightening. I mean come on - "Bride of Chuckie"? "Seed of Chuckie" for crying out loud??

THE BIRDS - That one still creeps me out. Thank God no bird I've ever heard makes a noise like those did. (*shudder*)

SAW - I *hate* those movies, as well as most modern horror flicks. It's not about the psychological scare anymore - it's all about how disgusting, grotesque and bloody you can make it. Give me a good ol' Stephen King movie like The Shining (the one HE made, not Kubrick, though I like that one for laughs with Jack Nicholson) for an incredible scare that will sink right into your psyche. You'll be watching your trees and hedges for days afterwards, expecting them to move....
(1)
Report

oh, and add one more that I absolutely cannot watch - the Lifetime adaptation of Stephen King's short story - BIG DRIVER. I cannot watch that. I got as far as the rape scene and had to turn it off. It was just too disturbing. I know that was the whole idea of making it, but it just made me sick to watch it.
(1)
Report

Better watch Anne of Green Gables tonite so I don't have nightmares haha!
(2)
Report

I love scarey movies, but not gore fests! I like to be scared, not grossed out! I went to the tv room today to watch one.. dad joined me... Of course he is saying how "he did that"... We had a problem with "Home alone" at christmas..LOL Oh well... he also watches historical movies with me and tells me how he fought that way during his Navy days... horses, maces, swords...LOL time to change the channel dad!!
(1)
Report

Pam where do they come up with that stuff? My mom sometimes think she's in the army overseas, a professional ballplayer, etc. She comes up with some very detailed stories sometimes. Once she thought she was a man. I'm careful what i watch when she is up - only old comedy or sports. Anyone else's loved one do this?
(2)
Report

Hope22, A color changing rabbit in the hallway?!! Now I will be awake thinking about that! Your cats must have a great sense of humor to do that!
The first horror movie I ever remember seeing when I was about 5yrs old at a neighbor's home had a tree monster with big yellow eyes that went around chasing people on an island...I think it was called "From Hell it Came". I was so terrified that I went home and hid under the dining room table until my Dad came home from work. He laughed and told me not to be afraid of the tree...that real life would be far scarier as an adult. Now I know what he meant! I do love those old movies though...they were either kitchy films made for drive ins or really good psychological horror films, not like the trashy ones today which I don't bother with. "Carnival of Souls" is a good old scary film.
(0)
Report

i just like international " newsing " around online nowadays . the big story last night was ISIS burning a POW alive in a steel cage . the world is rightfully outraged but h*lls bells , the usa has been firebombing , napalming , agent orange-ing , and carpet bombing people in the hundreds of thousands for 80 years . burned alive is burned alive . hundreds , if not thousands of iraqi soldiers were incinerated on the ' highway of death ' outside of kuwait city as they were trying to surrender -- an extreme war crime per the geneva accords . whos wrong or right doesnt seem to be the issue , its usually who stands to profit from the oil , heroin , or weapons sales . one commenter sticks out in my mind from last nights reading . he said he would be shocked at the craziness going on in the world if not for the fact that its been going on for at least 15 thousand years .
had a good workday , now its snowing like hell outside . stopped to see edna and frankly ill be happy for her if she passes in her sleep soon . shes a brave and wonderful human being but she has little QOL right now . no pain to speak of but she just sits and trembles . shes in a great NH and the staff dearly love her but there is not much to look forward to each day , in her condition .
(0)
Report

Captain, sorry about your Edna. Why does she tremble? Poor dear.
(0)
Report

Susan, I have watched all those as well, and true Magic, was a creepy one..I love Anthony Hopkins....LOVE him..and he played that role so well...and Fats...I'm with you, I hate those ventriloquist dummies...there was some short film , it may have been on Night Gallery, or some such series like that, where it was a creepy little voodoo type doll and it would come to life and chase people with a knife...so after that one, I was not too fond of any kind of weird looking doll...

From Hell it Came!!! Oh wow Katie! That one was great! I had not thought of it in years...now I will have to look it up online and maybe fall asleep to it tonight..haha....yes, my color changing rabbit is really cute, but the prismatic light that was floating around in that hall the other night scared me pretty good for a minute or two...my cats are always doing things that scare me to death...One night when I had the small CD player in next to Mama's bed, and I kept a big band CD on there, we were awakened suddenly by blaring "In the Mood'...one of the cats had sat on the button and turned it on...since I'm kind of out of my head when I get woke up suddenly, it took me a while to get a grip and then I figured out what was going on..haha

Captain, I'm so sorry, I do understand though...it reaches a point where our loved ones have such a look of longing on their faces, it is hard to see them linger...so hard to let them go, but maybe harder to see them just sitting and staring..almost as if they are already seeing another more majestic sight ahead...and wanting to go to it...I will keep Miss Edna and you in my prayers.

Tonight is comedy night...I love the goofy funny stuff...and very much needed right about this tie of the week....
(2)
Report

Bless your heart Jeanette....I am thankful that Mama does seem to sleep so well through the night...So once I get her settled she's usually fine til morning...and I know a lot of people who don't have it that way. About the only time she is restless is when she is sick..Thankfully right now she seems to have gotten past all the bugs and viruses that have had a grip on her the whole winter.. I hope you are able to get a good nights sleep tonight...your Mom as well..
(0)
Report

edna is slowly fading away from dementia . her brain is lucid and still very sweet but her brain will not command her organs for much longer .
i just the cover story on der spiegel online tonight . its a great read for people in this caregiving group . its a story of a lady in the netherlands who has chosen to end her life legally . she doesnt really have a terminal illness , just a crippled , paralyzed body that shes tired of living within . you guys should check it out -- its a 15 minute read that clarifies ' self determination ' in the best light ive ever seen it .
NH is described in the story as a prison to many people . my aunt has been imprisoned for 6 months when she could have been out grooving on the countryside every day -- all because i pissed off her poa . poa has too much power and that needs to change in this country . edna is a timid soul . i wont be so easily herded in my older age , thats a guarantee ..
(3)
Report

Yes Cap, I can totally understand and agree. Truly, this is no way to live life. Personally, I hate it with every fiber of my being. Sorry about you beloved Edna Bob... are you going to be okay when all is said and done?

Susan (and anyone else near this stage) at first the changes were subtle, like bathroom tissue and hoarding napkins, forgetting names, loved ones and what happened a few minutes ago, after that it all seems to progress so much faster it's scary.

Mom's been very unusual today... well, it started last night. She would not sleep. Kept talking all night to people. Today she's been calling names I haven't heard in years. Talked about daddy at Wal-Mart waiting? Moaning and waving her arms while she took a 5 minutes semi awake nap. This is scaring the hell out of me. She eats a semi normal amount for an elderly woman... she drinks a lot of juice, water, my healthy shakes and ensure. Maybe it's because she's just so tired from her marathon last night? :( oh, her skin seems to be a lot colder than normal even with the heater in front of her plus her blanket. Jesus Lord have mercy... it's not been 2 years since I held my dad when he passed, I don't think I can do this again.

Sorry... not trying to be so down, I am just so tired and need a good night of solid sleep without listening ( if you understand what I mean)... just quiet.

ha, my mother has been talking to the tv and thinking it's talking to her for many months now... so much so we watch a lot of very G rated Disney movies and old westerns which she loves.
(2)
Report

on the lighter side... when I helped her to the bathroom earlier and pulled her sweat pants down, about 9 bite size chocolate candies fell out.... she loves her chocolate!
(4)
Report

It's heartbreaking to see our loved ones suffering. Prayers for everyone.
(2)
Report

This is so hard, watching our loved ones with all the age related difficulties. I am noticing too, that new problems and symptoms pop up about every two to three weeks and then seem to be here to stay. I am always worried about more problems that cannot be solved or easily managed.
(4)
Report

Captain so sorry to hear Edna's fading...I know that's hard on you. Hugs...
(2)
Report

jeanette,
i have regrets about my ignorance of dementia from my mothers last 6 - 8 yrs of life . she had always been bipolar , then theres a line where playing you for sympathy begins , but after you learn a bit about dementia it all begins to make sense . the indecision , ocd , delusional thinking , etc .
i have no problem stating that i think the people who care for dementia patients suffer worse than the elder . they at least have the benefit of a degree of delerium and the ability to shift gears and move on . the carers on the other hand short out like a handfull of pennies tossed inside an electrical panel .
(3)
Report

Cap, sorry to hear that Edna is progressing further down that road. It's hard to watch.
(1)
Report

Yes, it is so hard...seems like just a few weeks ago I brought Mama home and she was still able to walk and would make conversation and say some of the funniest things...she was always telling me she loved me, laughing at my jokes and singing and just a comforting time for us both..Now it seems like we have fast forwarded to a place where I rarely get to hear her voice at all...she has days where she does not has any interest in eating (drinking Ensure) and of course she has been sleeping most of the time for quite a while now. We did have some good moments this morning and she was smiling and laughing a bit even...but now she is very quiet and back to sleep and when my brother called earlier she barely got out any sound at all, she tried, but she's just so tired. I'm not fearful of death for myself...but losing someone I love as much as Mama ...I am speechless ....I know I will carry on because that is what she would want me to do...and I know how she would handle this same situation, how she has handled every one of these situations...her parents, my Daddy's parents, Daddy, most of her brothers and sisters...with grace and dignity and a strength that I'm not sure I have, but I know she would want me to be strong...I'm not sure I will be able to do that....I selfishly want to keep her here forever, but I love her so much I know it is important that she knows I will be ok if she wants to go home....and we have had that talk....she knows I know she loves me, all of us and I have told her that I will always look out for my brother...even though he aggravates me sometimes... :) from this point forward I am just trusting that God will see us all through this....and I know He will....but it sure is difficult..and oh so sad... love to you all....it seems we're all going through a lot with our loved ones ....prayers for everyone...
(2)
Report

Captain, could not have said it better...and I wish so much I too had known more about dementia when I first started this. Maybe I would have been more patient, less easily aggravated, frustrated, less apt to hit myself in the head with a pillow....I now know she could help none of the odd behaviors that presented themselves...I think I feel a lot of guilt..I have tried, but I feel like I have failed badly and sometimes I worry that if I had been more patient if she would have progressed this rapidly...I regret mooning her...twice even.....God bless her, I think I lost my mind on those occasions....I wish she could come back to me so we could laugh about that...I think she would probably think it was funny, and would forgive me....
(1)
Report

If I were to be honest with myself... I do believe my mother would not know if she was here or not. Sorry if this hurts anyone's feelings... trust me, it hurt mine realizing just how much she isn't with us anymore. Yes, she lost her ability to understand sorrow, hurt, death and even joy quite some time ago. Once upon a time I was very upset at her when my daddy passed. It did not phase her in the slightest. How could this be? No emotional things bother her anymore... which is why I try and tickle her to make her smile. She was such a happy nosey lady once upon a time.

I don't want to have regrets Bob... God knows I will need some sort of peace of mind when all is said and done. Children DO NOT have parent's die in their arms without some sort of ... damage? Baggage? Oh oh... I think Jessie mentioned something about her loved one having mental issues earlier in life and how it's affecting them now. I had a long conversation to myself about that... yes, it affects our loved one with dementia or AD at a different more challenging level. Sorry, I veered off... regrets?... no, I cannot deal with any regrets which is why I try so hard to do the right thing, not get angry, upset annoyed, mad or..... impatient with her. I'd be lying if I said it's not happened because it so has... I love her toothless grin ( yes, top teeth are out again) and just pray whatever is in store for her/me/us is swift, kind and loving.
(4)
Report

We all second guess ourselves at times and have some regrets about things. The job we are doing is immense and we are only human. What we are doing is enormous and many people could not or would not do this. We should all remember that we are doing the best we can under the circumstances, learn from what we thought we might have done better before, and know we are truly strong to be doing this....even though it may not seem like it to us sometimes! Love and strength to all of you as we face another day!
(3)
Report

Hope, you mooned your mom?! Oh my gosh that made me laugh! What a picture in my mind! I'm sure your mom would too! I bet if you did it again she'd find it hilarious. I regret many times I treated my mom terribly when I was a teen. It still stings every time I remember and makes me cringe. She forgave me and told me I have to forgive myself. I try to remember her words when I lose patience with her now. One day at a time.
(1)
Report

Yes, sadly I must confess, I had become extremely frustrated and Mama was being particularly difficult and I have no earthly idea why I did it, but I did. The look on her little face was priceless...sometimes I wish I knew what she thought....then again, maybe good that I don't know...lol

You know Dee, Mama used to tell me all the time that I did not ever need to worry when we had words or hurt feelings at one another, that she knew me and knew that I loved her and that she did not see how I did what I did without losing it more. Mama was my biggest cheerleader in life, she knew most of what I had been through, though I kept some of it from her because just parts of life will always be too painful to share with anyone...but she always encouraged me and would set me back upright when I lost my way and started to think of giving up....I miss that so much now. Just the sound of her voice is such music to my ears. These days, I go for days, most often weeks on end without hearing her voice...even when she says one word...just hearing HER voice uplifts me to the point I can go on for a lot longer doing this...She is a sleepy head this morning but I am about to get her fluffed up for the day....it is so cold here again, I always hate to rouse her when she's all snuggled up nice and cozy, but then she loves it when she's all set for the day and snuggled back in her little nest....so onward and forward...here I come Mama...I hope everyone has an excellent day...
(1)
Report

Hope, you are such a sweet soul. Have a beautiful day everyone.
(1)
Report

Well, back from the morning fluff up and about to get her something to drink. She is tired after having to be rolled around so I let her rest a bit after.

I may be going crazy, but today is our normal garbage day and I am obsessive about getting every last bit of trash out of the house before they get here...I had one little bag left and heard him coming and it is quite the haul to get there from the house but I decided for the sheer challenge of it to give it a go. I made it there and then just felt like hanging out and waiting to bring the cart back...And while there I got to enjoy waving at and talking to the man in the truck....These folks work hard...and I really enjoy getting to talk to them...now I know that was a bright spot in his day...haha...but maybe it's just that seeing folks out and about in the normal whoop tee do of the day is so refreshing..whatever it was I feel lifted...and now the sun is really bright and I may just venture out into the yard again....we shall see...
(0)
Report

Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter