I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
Scary movies...I have a list of those that I cannot watch - some I *will* watch, just to prove to myself I can do it without flinching, because they once scared the hell out of me. LOL
MAGIC - 1970's, with Anthony Hopkins and Burgess Meredith...and that criminally insane ventriloquist's dummy - FATS. *That* one did me in. Somehow, I ended up watching that when I was *far* too young to do so - like 7 years old. Scarred me for life, it did. I *hate* ventriloquist dummies to this day, or any story or movie about dolls that come to life. They give me nightmares. I love dummies like Peanut and Walter (Jeff Dunham) - just not ones that look like that G*D* Fats.
CHILD'S PLAY - yes, the Chuckie movies. Can't stand them. Though I have to say, the later ones are pretty ridiculous and far from frightening. I mean come on - "Bride of Chuckie"? "Seed of Chuckie" for crying out loud??
THE BIRDS - That one still creeps me out. Thank God no bird I've ever heard makes a noise like those did. (*shudder*)
SAW - I *hate* those movies, as well as most modern horror flicks. It's not about the psychological scare anymore - it's all about how disgusting, grotesque and bloody you can make it. Give me a good ol' Stephen King movie like The Shining (the one HE made, not Kubrick, though I like that one for laughs with Jack Nicholson) for an incredible scare that will sink right into your psyche. You'll be watching your trees and hedges for days afterwards, expecting them to move....
The first horror movie I ever remember seeing when I was about 5yrs old at a neighbor's home had a tree monster with big yellow eyes that went around chasing people on an island...I think it was called "From Hell it Came". I was so terrified that I went home and hid under the dining room table until my Dad came home from work. He laughed and told me not to be afraid of the tree...that real life would be far scarier as an adult. Now I know what he meant! I do love those old movies though...they were either kitchy films made for drive ins or really good psychological horror films, not like the trashy ones today which I don't bother with. "Carnival of Souls" is a good old scary film.
had a good workday , now its snowing like hell outside . stopped to see edna and frankly ill be happy for her if she passes in her sleep soon . shes a brave and wonderful human being but she has little QOL right now . no pain to speak of but she just sits and trembles . shes in a great NH and the staff dearly love her but there is not much to look forward to each day , in her condition .
From Hell it Came!!! Oh wow Katie! That one was great! I had not thought of it in years...now I will have to look it up online and maybe fall asleep to it tonight..haha....yes, my color changing rabbit is really cute, but the prismatic light that was floating around in that hall the other night scared me pretty good for a minute or two...my cats are always doing things that scare me to death...One night when I had the small CD player in next to Mama's bed, and I kept a big band CD on there, we were awakened suddenly by blaring "In the Mood'...one of the cats had sat on the button and turned it on...since I'm kind of out of my head when I get woke up suddenly, it took me a while to get a grip and then I figured out what was going on..haha
Captain, I'm so sorry, I do understand though...it reaches a point where our loved ones have such a look of longing on their faces, it is hard to see them linger...so hard to let them go, but maybe harder to see them just sitting and staring..almost as if they are already seeing another more majestic sight ahead...and wanting to go to it...I will keep Miss Edna and you in my prayers.
Tonight is comedy night...I love the goofy funny stuff...and very much needed right about this tie of the week....
i just the cover story on der spiegel online tonight . its a great read for people in this caregiving group . its a story of a lady in the netherlands who has chosen to end her life legally . she doesnt really have a terminal illness , just a crippled , paralyzed body that shes tired of living within . you guys should check it out -- its a 15 minute read that clarifies ' self determination ' in the best light ive ever seen it .
NH is described in the story as a prison to many people . my aunt has been imprisoned for 6 months when she could have been out grooving on the countryside every day -- all because i pissed off her poa . poa has too much power and that needs to change in this country . edna is a timid soul . i wont be so easily herded in my older age , thats a guarantee ..
Susan (and anyone else near this stage) at first the changes were subtle, like bathroom tissue and hoarding napkins, forgetting names, loved ones and what happened a few minutes ago, after that it all seems to progress so much faster it's scary.
Mom's been very unusual today... well, it started last night. She would not sleep. Kept talking all night to people. Today she's been calling names I haven't heard in years. Talked about daddy at Wal-Mart waiting? Moaning and waving her arms while she took a 5 minutes semi awake nap. This is scaring the hell out of me. She eats a semi normal amount for an elderly woman... she drinks a lot of juice, water, my healthy shakes and ensure. Maybe it's because she's just so tired from her marathon last night? :( oh, her skin seems to be a lot colder than normal even with the heater in front of her plus her blanket. Jesus Lord have mercy... it's not been 2 years since I held my dad when he passed, I don't think I can do this again.
Sorry... not trying to be so down, I am just so tired and need a good night of solid sleep without listening ( if you understand what I mean)... just quiet.
ha, my mother has been talking to the tv and thinking it's talking to her for many months now... so much so we watch a lot of very G rated Disney movies and old westerns which she loves.
i have regrets about my ignorance of dementia from my mothers last 6 - 8 yrs of life . she had always been bipolar , then theres a line where playing you for sympathy begins , but after you learn a bit about dementia it all begins to make sense . the indecision , ocd , delusional thinking , etc .
i have no problem stating that i think the people who care for dementia patients suffer worse than the elder . they at least have the benefit of a degree of delerium and the ability to shift gears and move on . the carers on the other hand short out like a handfull of pennies tossed inside an electrical panel .
I don't want to have regrets Bob... God knows I will need some sort of peace of mind when all is said and done. Children DO NOT have parent's die in their arms without some sort of ... damage? Baggage? Oh oh... I think Jessie mentioned something about her loved one having mental issues earlier in life and how it's affecting them now. I had a long conversation to myself about that... yes, it affects our loved one with dementia or AD at a different more challenging level. Sorry, I veered off... regrets?... no, I cannot deal with any regrets which is why I try so hard to do the right thing, not get angry, upset annoyed, mad or..... impatient with her. I'd be lying if I said it's not happened because it so has... I love her toothless grin ( yes, top teeth are out again) and just pray whatever is in store for her/me/us is swift, kind and loving.
You know Dee, Mama used to tell me all the time that I did not ever need to worry when we had words or hurt feelings at one another, that she knew me and knew that I loved her and that she did not see how I did what I did without losing it more. Mama was my biggest cheerleader in life, she knew most of what I had been through, though I kept some of it from her because just parts of life will always be too painful to share with anyone...but she always encouraged me and would set me back upright when I lost my way and started to think of giving up....I miss that so much now. Just the sound of her voice is such music to my ears. These days, I go for days, most often weeks on end without hearing her voice...even when she says one word...just hearing HER voice uplifts me to the point I can go on for a lot longer doing this...She is a sleepy head this morning but I am about to get her fluffed up for the day....it is so cold here again, I always hate to rouse her when she's all snuggled up nice and cozy, but then she loves it when she's all set for the day and snuggled back in her little nest....so onward and forward...here I come Mama...I hope everyone has an excellent day...
I may be going crazy, but today is our normal garbage day and I am obsessive about getting every last bit of trash out of the house before they get here...I had one little bag left and heard him coming and it is quite the haul to get there from the house but I decided for the sheer challenge of it to give it a go. I made it there and then just felt like hanging out and waiting to bring the cart back...And while there I got to enjoy waving at and talking to the man in the truck....These folks work hard...and I really enjoy getting to talk to them...now I know that was a bright spot in his day...haha...but maybe it's just that seeing folks out and about in the normal whoop tee do of the day is so refreshing..whatever it was I feel lifted...and now the sun is really bright and I may just venture out into the yard again....we shall see...