I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
"Fifty Shades of Nay"!!! bwahahahahaha!!!! FUNNY!! and so TRUE! haha, I remember a few years ago I posted about having a caregivers dating site. How naive I was a few years ago. LOL I barely feel like brushing my hair, NEVER wear make-up and all my cute clothes no longer fit.... there will be no dating for me for quite some time, if ever. It would be so much more fun traveling to New Zealand with hope!!
Got a text from my oldest brother... he was asking what time I wanted him to come by and sit with mom, now normally I would just text him back but for some reason I decided to call him. He sounded so nasally... I asked him if he just woke up or if he was sick, well.... he's got a cold and I had to tell him he could not come over here if he wasn't feeling well. Seems his wife had been really sick, then my other brother got it and now the oldest. There is no way I am taking any sort of chances with mom.
Nojoy3, I like what you said.... there is a fear of commitment, which I believe is brought on by this experience. Time will tell though.
Just wish the sun would come out for a little while... that would recharge some of my batteries :)
This emotional state of compassion fatigue takes place not only to caregivers but also to people in the various helping professions.
I'm afraid that while some find ways to deal with this, get recharged and become more seasoned, there are others who become hardened. I had a therapist once ages ago before I got really into being in therapy who pointed out that I needed to learn how to be seasoned without becoming hardened, but I did not stick with him very long.
I noticed on college that some of the professors who taught courses for those studying various helping professions were sometimes hardened individuals who were very emotionally insulated and had gone into teaching following their experience of compassion fatigue. Back then, I wondered why they were so distant and impersonal, but now I think I have an idea why.
I wish everyone well in dealing with compassion fatigue.
Sis just informed me yesterday that she can't take Mom out of the house for a ride anymore, because she's not comfortable driving our van, Mom isn't comfortable riding in *her* van, and I won't let her irresponsible husband drive ours, either (Mom doesn't like him and I know she won't want him driving the van, so I won't even ask). There goes one more chance for a break, short of me hiring a caregiver so I can leave the state for a few days to see my son. Looks like that's going to be the only break I can get from here on out. I'm grateful for it, because I know others don't even have *that* opportunity, but darn it - it shouldn't be so hard to get a break when family lives so close.
Assandache, I can't get over my sibling's selfishness either!! I have to learn to let it go, however , as it does tend to drain some of my much needed energy! I need to stay focused on the good things...I'm so lucky to still have my 93 year old mom, who is relatively healthy most of the time. Despite her dementia, she still knows who I am and loves me to pieces. They are the ones who are missing out!!
Well, the visit has ended and it went ok, as usual, didn't go anywhere, as usual, one reason is my car is acting up and the last thing I want to do is get stranded or have my engine blow up on me. My truck is also on the fritz..why do they always go at the same time. Brother did check out the car and it appears to be some sort of sensor related to the fan...
Jeanette...pack those bags, we will be off to New Zealand one day...I love traveling with a friend or alone..I don't need a man to complete me either...Most of my friends always seem to go nuts when they find themselves without something to do..Not me, because I can find or invent something to do. Even as babies, Mama told me my brother and I were very different...he required all her time, constantly, always fussy, always crying, sick a lot...on the other hand she said I was perfectly happy lying in my crib looking at my hands and feet for hours....haha...she used to tell me she was thankful I was such a joyful little soul because my brother required so much of her time...so I think it's kind of fascinating how that turned into a lifetime thing...he has always required a lot of attention and such from everyone..I have always been a loner...and I love it....
Now that the company has gone, Mama is napping and I am about to get my blanket and grab a furtot and enjoy some good tv....it is starting to cloud over a bit so I might even live it up and take a nap....so happy with the smile I got from Mama...that is what I needed...exactly!!
dee.... LOL!!!!! Now that is too funny! Mom and I do the same d*mn thing!! I did read as they progress further in their disease the bowels stop working as normal as they used to. Even with stool softeners it's hard for mom to go. Haha, I have sat there with her and told her to just push that baby out and she'll feel better and forget all about it :) It's cute when they get silly and witty... like asking who the hell is that wrinkled old lady is in the mirror?... Uhm, you mom, and she replies, oh the hell it is!, I'm younger than you are!
I've been pondering this whole alone thing... I've not ever been alone either, this is about as alone as it's ever been for me. I truly think one can grow spiritually, physically and mentally living alone for however long suits them. Once we learn how to be happy with just ourselves true happiness will always be with you/
hope many good things come your way both now and later ..
your mom is very fortunate and probably admits it occasionally in small ways . shes lost her mind and youve selflessly lended her yours .
Something is def going on with your dad. Even though it seems like things happen overnight, it really doesn't. Have him tested, blood, urine... the whole gamut. Maybe he's dehydrated? It just seems odd how fast this happened. Please keep us informed.... my mother is basically where your father is. Uhm, about hubby, if his parent's are nearing where you dad is... well, maybe this is the new normal and you both have to work together to keep peace and happiness in your new normal life? Gosh, maybe it is easier doing this while single? Sorry luv...
Cap, thanks bud for your vote of confidence on my attitude... it wasn't always that way. This site and the others whom are dealing with their loved ones has helped me immensely. I don't think my situation is worse than others... I am more talkative (on here) about it. For the longest I thought my mother was the only one that stood in place and shuffled (on the creaky spot) but lately I see others posting... and pamz's dad had a 36 hour marathon. Perhaps mom is just a bit farther along, or maybe... who knows, AD is different from dementia and Parkinson's? Plus, let's not forget how we were when we were younger plays a part in how we are with AD.
dee, it will get more fascinating :)