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Aw, your poor Mom, Jeanette - and poor you! Hopefully you can both get some much-neede rest tonight.

Possibly losing another elderly family member soon. It's so hard when they all start going ...seems like it happens too close together. We lost Dad and his brother 2 years ago (seems like yesterday), and now we're losing my mother's brother-in-law, her sister's husband. Her sister passed several years ago. Nearly lost my dad's sister a few months ago - she's still recovering in a nursing home and hoping to go home soon, but it was a close call.
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Wow, Jeanette! Nerve racking! We had a really bad storm here a few years ago, trees down and wrecked the shed. Wiped a path of hundred year old trees down at the local park. Worst storm I've ever seen. Feel so helpless when you have kids, elderly and pets during one. Glad you guys are alright and that your mom is able to relax and sleep tonite. Susan, so sorry for your losses. That's really rough. Hope, i watched the first season of the bachelor and couldn't believe women put themselves through that! No thanks! Katie, my mom just finished meds for 3rd UTI in a year...now have to check again and make sure it's all gone. Pretty sure it developed from Christmas day blow-out (first one ever). Freqflyer I hate filling out all those forms. I took mom to 3 specialist appts in the same day, same practice, and had to do it for each. 4 more appts in the next 30 days - i sure hope i don't have to update anything. Captain the stonework is something that will be enjoyed for generations - that is very cool! 57twin my mom's got a real sweet tooth, too. The popcorn just doesn't cut it unless you drizzle chocolate over it haha! I'm hoping for a good night's sleep. Going to get mom settled for the night. Then I'll be reading Elizabeth Gaskell and snuggling with the furkids. Blessings and peace to everyone and your loved ones.
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The worst thing about getting older, is you loved ones dying.

My parent's used to "snowbird" in Arizona, every year I had to hear about another person dying. Since I visited them in AZ every year, I knew that person also. Several of the friend mom and dad had still call me to check on mom.

Shhh!!! I am 3 hours behind most of you so no talking about the Bachelor!! LOL. Worst part about living in the PNW.

Mom had a warm shower ( yay, so did I) she's got a full tummy... she has to sleep tonight!!

hope, I saw on the news that you are in for a ICY spell! Gads! I'm so done with winter!
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Don't worry, I'm not a spoiler Jeanette.. :) Yes, they are saying back into the teens during the night and 30's and 40's for the days beginning Wednesday night I think. It already feels cold to me.... I did see a pretty yellow crocus this morning. I meant to get a picture of it to show Mama and I got sidetracked. It's little noggin will be there in the am...I love croci or crocuses...which is it..hahaha
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Aaargh! Aaargh! And yet again. She rolled an ankle getting out of a chair, fell banged up her knee, trip to ER, bp very low 76/48! Ankle swelled immediately, not broken, bad sprain, maybe broken would have kept her in the hospital over night anyway, but not a bed to be had. How do you get them to rehab if not from the hospital?!
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It's a balmy 7* above right now here....supposed to be 5* tonight, and in sub-zero territory by tomorrow night. Fun, fun.

Jeanette, I was talking with Mom about this relative's (soon) passing...and it bothers me a lot. We've lost too many too quickly, and it's just hard. Even when there's a year or so between them, the losses seem to just happen so close together when they reach a certain age. Maybe that's why this one bothers me. I already let my clients know that I will need to be gone for at least part of a day when it's time to celebrate his life, and one of them had the gall to balk about me being out for a few hours for the funeral and reception afterwards (if there is one) - I let him know in no uncertain terms that I am *going* to be gone for this, though I'll try to minimize my absence - I am not going to miss any more family funerals due to my work. I missed my favorite uncle's funeral because I was working, it was 600+ miles away, and we simply didn't have the funds to make the trip after just having made that trip a few months before. I'm not letting it happen again when the relative that passes lives only 5 miles away. Mom is going, and I'm taking her - that's all there is to it.
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Oh goodness, Glad! You need to wrap your Mama in bubble wrap.
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With a bp that low, glad, it's no wonder she fell. I'm glad you were there for her.
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Elderly relative that was not expected to make it through the night last night is still holding his own, but must remain immobile in bed, or his BP crashes. Not sure how long he can last like this, but my own dad's BP was a huge issue for over 6 months before he passed - he had to be kept on medication to artificially raise it to keep it at an acceptable level.
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Prayers for you Susan....it is impossible to begin to even know how to describe that feeling isn't it....praying for comfort and peace for your loved one and all of you
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Susan, so sorry to hear about your uncle/loved one. Sounds like you've had a very rough couple of years. Hopefully your aunt will be able to return home from rehab soon. Prayers for you and your family.
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Thanks everyone - I should make it clear the relative in question is not the one I'm providing caregiving for -that's my mom. But it just seems that when we start to lose our elderly relatives, it really hits home, because the next one *could* be the one you provide care for.
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Sorry you are going through this phase Susan, they do all seem to go at once and it brings home our own vulnerability. It gets even worse when one's contemperaries begin to go. I am guessing the client that made a few is the same one who pays his bills late!!!!! I had a couple of women that told be they paid all their bills on the 20th of the month. I told them firmly that mine sere due on the first and if they did not pay I couln't buy feed for their horses. Hope for his sake that your uncle passes peacefully.
Glad Mom is becoming like a piece of Dresden china. When you are told there are no beds to be had that is frequently not true. They just don't want to admit a geriatric patient to an acute bed. I say if they can keep you ten hours in the R then you can at least stay there overnight so they can watch you. Just my jaded observation.
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Lost my uncle today at 1:15pm. Spoke to my cousin at 1:00 regarding his situation and if she needed any help or wanted me to bring coffee or a meal or something, and she said they were preparing to take him home on Hospice, where they would keep him comfortable (medicated) until it was time for him to go, because it wasn't going to be long. 5 minutes later, she came back and told me he was gone.
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I am sorry for your loss. If I ever have to be on Hospice, I hope I don't linger long. My 2nd husband, Jack, was with Hospice at our home. His mind was sharp. He died in his sleep at the age of 101. We were married only 7 years.
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Susan, so very sorry for your loss. My condolences to you and your family. May you all find peace and comfort in fond memories.
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I'm so sorry about your Uncle Susan! My thoughts are with you and your family!!
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(((Susan))) very sorry to hear your Uncle passed. It does seem like he passed peacefully, which is all we can truly ask for. Please give your mother my condolences and a hug.
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My condolences Susan. Just in the past few weeks several people I knew passed away. Some unexpected and you never can prepare for the loss.
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Susan, I am so sorry to hear about your Uncle. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
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Thanks, everyone. You know....it's strange. I am having a really hard time with this. Harder than I thought I would. It's like someone just reached into my chest and gave my heart a good hard squeeze. I guess it's just because Dad's only been gone 2 years now, and this feels like dealing with his death all over again, because the circumstances were similar. Having to make all the phone calls to family all over again just felt like deja vu.

The group of men that worked with my dad at the local plastics plant is slowly dwindling away. There's only 3 left of the group of friends/relatives that worked there now. Both of my uncles worked there, my dad worked there, and so did a few of his friends. They were a tight-knit group, and our families all spent time together often - camping trips, company picnics, things like that.
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Susan what a shock for you, I'm so sorry. I hope it's some comfort that your uncle didn't continue to suffer, but such a wrench for you and your cousin's family. There's just never enough time.
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Hi 57twin,

While "4 king size Hersey bars" seems excessive, I would like to think your cousin's heart was in the right place. Your cousin was clearly not going to be able to see your father for a while and just wanted to give him something sweet - a treat - just for him and likely, hopefully, a way for him to remember your cousin by doing so. Per your post, you said your cousin was going away for the winter. Yes? To me, that means the chocolate was meant to be divvied out and savored to last until her (sorry, I'm guessing your cousin is female) return. I would think something quite differently if she gave him all that candy on Friday and said, "See you on Monday!" :: smile ::

Please give her the benefit of the doubt. It's beyond hard to see our loved ones grow old and start to fade. My sister and I were on opposite sides of the coin on this when my mom went downhill. My sister did all she could to prolong my mother's life (quantity). I did all I could to make whatever time she had left as fun and delicious as possible, even if it meant our mother didn't live as long. Ultimately, I would like to think the balance of our sibling rivalry gave my mom a bit of both.

All I can say is this...when I'm on that final downward spiral...or even near-ish, I truly pray someone will give me all the chocolates and all the cigarettes I want, and as many vodka martinis as I request. Quantity (length of time living) versus quality (how much I got to enjoy it). At some point, we - the descendants - have to let go.

On that note, it probably would've been better had your cousin given your dad several bags of Hershey's miniatures (or whatever). BUT, if the large chocolate bars were his favorite, she gave him a great gift.

I'm not being judgmental on either side. Hopefully, you'll understand this other point of view.

Best to you.

PS - I've "unsubscribed" to this particular thread because it was bogging down my email. Please respond via personal message if you'd like to discuss this more.
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Hey again, 57twin,

I had forgotten about the following until after I made my previous post.

After my mom passed away and we were clearing out her things, I stumbled across a giant tote box completely filled with candy - candy she never ate!

Sometimes for those watching their last sunsets and may not have all their mental capacities like they used to....it's more about them KNOWING they CAN have whatever they want than actually eating, drinking, or smoking it. It's a source of control for them.

Here's something I hope will make you smile: When I got my first apartment, I called my parents and said something along the lines of, "Guess what? I'm jumping on all the furniture! I'm leaving all the lights on! I ate dessert for breakfast!" Ha! True to form...the first time they visited they put all their fingerprints on the wall. :: smile ::

If chocolate bars are your greatest worry, you're doing good.
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Susan I am so sorry for your loss. Hugs
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I "unsubscribed" to this post long ago. NOT because i didn't like what my peers had to say.... it was all the junk email I got plus notifications. This particular thread is not just about whining, it's about every day life for some of us. Sorry for those who don't quite get it.
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JeanetteB,

First of all, the "unsubscribe" option clearly doesn't work else I wouldn't see your catty response. I GET it.

What you don't seem to get is that I get over 50 other emails a day. I fully support the daily whine/whinge because it's not truly that....ANYONE who has been a caretaker knows that, typically, it's not one defining moment...it's a compendium/conglomeration of little things that eventually make us go batty.

So, I GET IT, but I don't have time for email bombardments right now.. If other members have specific issues that I think I may be able to offer some advice, I am more than happy to reflect and post upon them.

Best to you.
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Hubby went for colonoscopy Monday. They gave him fentanyl and versed, so he was quite mellow. The bad news is that his O2 saturation was running 91-93%. He is only 64. Could it have been the meds??
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pam,
i finally asked the doc im laying stone for if versed could cause several weeks of depression . hes an oral surgeon and knows drugs well . he said it dam well could . does it to me everytime and ive got another endoscopy due at any time . bummer .
canning my last 7 qts of beef this evening - 21 in total .
mine is a fools economy . i have enough sustanance around here to feed two people for a year and a half should a log fall across the road or something . lol
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hobbesmom, my reply was not catty, I was agreeing with you on all the emails. I f**king get it ok? I unsubscribed long ago... OK. How can you blame me for emails that I do not send? And for that matter and to all else who have something f**king to say about this "whine" thread, piss off.... we do Not simply whine here, we talk about our day to day life. Not all of of us are .... grrrr

you know what? I have already asked to delete this thread because of naysayer's like you. My request was denied ... because MORE people enjoy it than hate it. No one on this thread has EVER harmed another person.
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