I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
Possibly losing another elderly family member soon. It's so hard when they all start going ...seems like it happens too close together. We lost Dad and his brother 2 years ago (seems like yesterday), and now we're losing my mother's brother-in-law, her sister's husband. Her sister passed several years ago. Nearly lost my dad's sister a few months ago - she's still recovering in a nursing home and hoping to go home soon, but it was a close call.
My parent's used to "snowbird" in Arizona, every year I had to hear about another person dying. Since I visited them in AZ every year, I knew that person also. Several of the friend mom and dad had still call me to check on mom.
Shhh!!! I am 3 hours behind most of you so no talking about the Bachelor!! LOL. Worst part about living in the PNW.
Mom had a warm shower ( yay, so did I) she's got a full tummy... she has to sleep tonight!!
hope, I saw on the news that you are in for a ICY spell! Gads! I'm so done with winter!
Jeanette, I was talking with Mom about this relative's (soon) passing...and it bothers me a lot. We've lost too many too quickly, and it's just hard. Even when there's a year or so between them, the losses seem to just happen so close together when they reach a certain age. Maybe that's why this one bothers me. I already let my clients know that I will need to be gone for at least part of a day when it's time to celebrate his life, and one of them had the gall to balk about me being out for a few hours for the funeral and reception afterwards (if there is one) - I let him know in no uncertain terms that I am *going* to be gone for this, though I'll try to minimize my absence - I am not going to miss any more family funerals due to my work. I missed my favorite uncle's funeral because I was working, it was 600+ miles away, and we simply didn't have the funds to make the trip after just having made that trip a few months before. I'm not letting it happen again when the relative that passes lives only 5 miles away. Mom is going, and I'm taking her - that's all there is to it.
Glad Mom is becoming like a piece of Dresden china. When you are told there are no beds to be had that is frequently not true. They just don't want to admit a geriatric patient to an acute bed. I say if they can keep you ten hours in the R then you can at least stay there overnight so they can watch you. Just my jaded observation.
The group of men that worked with my dad at the local plastics plant is slowly dwindling away. There's only 3 left of the group of friends/relatives that worked there now. Both of my uncles worked there, my dad worked there, and so did a few of his friends. They were a tight-knit group, and our families all spent time together often - camping trips, company picnics, things like that.
While "4 king size Hersey bars" seems excessive, I would like to think your cousin's heart was in the right place. Your cousin was clearly not going to be able to see your father for a while and just wanted to give him something sweet - a treat - just for him and likely, hopefully, a way for him to remember your cousin by doing so. Per your post, you said your cousin was going away for the winter. Yes? To me, that means the chocolate was meant to be divvied out and savored to last until her (sorry, I'm guessing your cousin is female) return. I would think something quite differently if she gave him all that candy on Friday and said, "See you on Monday!" :: smile ::
Please give her the benefit of the doubt. It's beyond hard to see our loved ones grow old and start to fade. My sister and I were on opposite sides of the coin on this when my mom went downhill. My sister did all she could to prolong my mother's life (quantity). I did all I could to make whatever time she had left as fun and delicious as possible, even if it meant our mother didn't live as long. Ultimately, I would like to think the balance of our sibling rivalry gave my mom a bit of both.
All I can say is this...when I'm on that final downward spiral...or even near-ish, I truly pray someone will give me all the chocolates and all the cigarettes I want, and as many vodka martinis as I request. Quantity (length of time living) versus quality (how much I got to enjoy it). At some point, we - the descendants - have to let go.
On that note, it probably would've been better had your cousin given your dad several bags of Hershey's miniatures (or whatever). BUT, if the large chocolate bars were his favorite, she gave him a great gift.
I'm not being judgmental on either side. Hopefully, you'll understand this other point of view.
Best to you.
PS - I've "unsubscribed" to this particular thread because it was bogging down my email. Please respond via personal message if you'd like to discuss this more.
I had forgotten about the following until after I made my previous post.
After my mom passed away and we were clearing out her things, I stumbled across a giant tote box completely filled with candy - candy she never ate!
Sometimes for those watching their last sunsets and may not have all their mental capacities like they used to....it's more about them KNOWING they CAN have whatever they want than actually eating, drinking, or smoking it. It's a source of control for them.
Here's something I hope will make you smile: When I got my first apartment, I called my parents and said something along the lines of, "Guess what? I'm jumping on all the furniture! I'm leaving all the lights on! I ate dessert for breakfast!" Ha! True to form...the first time they visited they put all their fingerprints on the wall. :: smile ::
If chocolate bars are your greatest worry, you're doing good.
First of all, the "unsubscribe" option clearly doesn't work else I wouldn't see your catty response. I GET it.
What you don't seem to get is that I get over 50 other emails a day. I fully support the daily whine/whinge because it's not truly that....ANYONE who has been a caretaker knows that, typically, it's not one defining moment...it's a compendium/conglomeration of little things that eventually make us go batty.
So, I GET IT, but I don't have time for email bombardments right now.. If other members have specific issues that I think I may be able to offer some advice, I am more than happy to reflect and post upon them.
Best to you.
i finally asked the doc im laying stone for if versed could cause several weeks of depression . hes an oral surgeon and knows drugs well . he said it dam well could . does it to me everytime and ive got another endoscopy due at any time . bummer .
canning my last 7 qts of beef this evening - 21 in total .
mine is a fools economy . i have enough sustanance around here to feed two people for a year and a half should a log fall across the road or something . lol
you know what? I have already asked to delete this thread because of naysayer's like you. My request was denied ... because MORE people enjoy it than hate it. No one on this thread has EVER harmed another person.