My "whine moment today." What's yours?

@Hope - Awful about the cat! Hopefully s/he's returned. S/he may be just 'hibernating' to keep herself warm in this horrid weather. Boston has seen over 7.5 feet (thankfully, I'm just freezing in FL, but I've been there, done that...anyone remember the Blizzard of '78?) I'd just moved into a 'new' house (which was really old). I was alone with two babies and a heating system that literally banged- on, making all kinds of monster noises (I hadn't even had the courage to go into the cellar at that point) so I imagined all sorts of things. And my hubby was a first responder so he wasn't home at all, at times hitching a ride with other vehicles to get to work the first time -- which amounted to about a week gone from home) The downside of which is having to fend for ones self. And I knew no one in the neighborhood...it was all snowed in!

My son (another first responder!) says the majority of the roads are impassible for e-vehicles) Firefighters have had to get off the trucks, walk down streets to respond to alarms, which isn't good. Hydrants are buried which means they're out now shoveling. Ambulances cannot get through.

Back to your cat - I know when mine disappeared over a heat wave one summer, we lived in a heavily wooded area, but she returned in a few days as if nothing ever happened. I was mortified because she was a house cat, declawed.

In our 'business' that of caregiver, we can't always be thinking of everything. Don't beat yourself up.

Hope, I'm keeping a good thought in mind for your kitty. A neighbor lady came by a couple of days ago looking for hers - he had gotten out and it was bitterly cold that day. I hope he made it back - she's not entirely "all there" mentally, and she was out slogging through the wind and snow looking for him. I could see her doing that all day if someone didn't stop her.

I drove past a house last night when the wind chills were in the sub-zero territory, and there was a dog chained up by the door to the house, lifting one foot after the other off the snow and looking absolutely miserable. I wanted to stop and take him off the chain and take him home with me. :-( (I did call our local animal control office about it - they wouldn't do anything about it - said the animal had to be outside for more than 24 hours before they would step in. Poor creature would be dead by then in this weather.)

Mom is being stubborn as hell today. I love her to pieces, but it's a good thing that all days are not like today, or I'd lose my mind completely. She wanted cereal for breakfast. I tried to get her to eat some protein with it, but she refused. 20 minutes later, she's saying, "I'm still hungry. Cereal just doesn't stick with me!" So I'm making 2 breakfasts instead of one - this time, scrambled eggs with ham & cheese in them. I'm going to toss all the cereal out - she wants it, but then wants something else, because it doesn't fill her up. And she loads it with sugar when she eats it. Real healthy stuff. I just won't keep it in the house anymore.

Got up out of her chair to take yet another nap, and refused to go to the bathroom. Laid down, and popped back up like a ping pong ball 5 MINUTES LATER, saying "I gotta pee!". I couldn't help it...I looked at her and said, "Well, of course you have to, because you wouldn't go when I asked you to 5 minutes ago!!" Then I felt bad, because she gave me a wounded, confused look. (sigh) Followed her to the bathroom this time, not giving her time to yank her undies back up before I got in there, got everything changed and she laid back down again. She's snoozing away now, and I'm hoping for at least 20 minutes of peace before the next round of battles starts.

78 blizzard.
i was home for the entire month of feb on what was my only leave from 3 yrs in germany . ( soldier ) my dad said if i couldnt attend his excruciating church / cult then i couldnt use his truck . i told him i didnt ask to use his truck to begin with and he could cram it . it isnt hard to hitch hike around the county when only 4 wds are on the road and theyre only traveling at 20 mph . it seems trivial now but at the time i had the miserable military life on one side of me and my dads closedminded tyranny on the other . it wasnt to be our last headbutting contest by any means . my sons dont yet realize how good they had it . the only rule in our home was " just be nice and dont tell lies " . poor saps didnt even have anything to rebel against .
my youngest at age 12 was awful curious about my cigars . he was working with us and making money like an adult so i told him if he wanted a cigar , get himself a cigar . he smoked about a half a dozen puffs from it and has never used tobacco since . it didnt make him sick , he just didnt care for it .
maybe i learned that parenting trick in germany . cold beer was available in vending machines so clearly any kid with 2 DM could buy one yet you didnt see kids and teens binge drinking . i was rather ' culture shocked ' one time at a hanau street fest tho . saw a couple of young guys about 8 yrs old walking around chatting giddily and sharing a rather large bottle of wine . no one was paying them the least bit of attention .
snowing outside , very cold . im sitting here trying to put together a ' themed ' reason to go visit my aunt today . took her a goodwill sweater yesterday and she asked me to trim her bangs . that didnt go over well with pia last time but now shes too broke for the 20 dollar nh haircut so i dont expect to hear much flak from her .
na na na NA !!
hope pia dies , and it dont take lo-ong .
i hope she dies , ' fore i end this so - oongg ..

Hope, prayers that your kitty comes home soon!

Decided to dive into household projects to try to head off the blues I see headed my way. Dug through the snow to the garage (a job in itself), then dug my way through the garage to the power table saw (another job!), covered my face and plugged it in. I covered my face because none of the power tools in Dad's garage have seen the light of day or a power outlet in about 20 years, and in all that time in an unheated/uncooled garage with no insulation, infested with God knows what kind of critters, who knows what could happen? I had horrid visions of the saw blade flying off at me, the pulley breaking and flying at me, etc. (This is an OLD saw, with a little mini motor-thingie (compressor?) mounted to the table beside it, which operates the pulley and the pulley operates the saw!)

I cut the 6' long boards down to 54", located Dad's power palm sander and sanded the cut ends, then brought them back in the house. Thinking of varnishing or painting them, then they'll be shelves above the big picture windows in the living room for Mom's knick-knacks.

Feeling pretty accomplished just with having done that. :-)

i read a news article this am about the winter blah's and im glad i read it . it confirms that the mild depression im feeling is perfectly normal . theres plenty of things around here i could be doing but as soon as the weather breaks ill be back to working like a borrowed mule . sometimes resting is a good thing , it just makes ya feel so useless ..

goin to visit my aunt . it does me more good than it does her . ill take my hair scissors , see how many people we can piss off ..

Thanks Susan and Litldog....thank you...I have been posting pictures and calling the shelters and updating social media with good pictures of him in hopes someone will let me know where he is and if they took him in let him come home...he never leaves our yard except when he goes down in the woods sometimes (rarely) and that property and my horrid neighbor who stole one of my cats property joins and I can't help it, I am so afraid they did something with him...The more time that passes, the sicker I get...I have had cats leave a couple of days, even as many as four and return, so I'm hoping he will come home, but it is just not like him to do this..ever....I won't give up and will continue to look for him..and have to remember that God sees him even now and knows his situation and I will pray he is safe and returns home soon.

Susan, that's pretty brave of you! No kidding. I have to tell you, I'm afraid of saws, even little ones. I make myself use a belt sander to sand down the outside of my house when I need to repaint it. The first time my (late) brother taught me to use the sander, he warned me about the kick when it touches wood...yeah...something you really have to learn from experience...yes, I almost lost my footing. I call it the bondo house because no kidding I must use at least a gallon of the stuff filling the pits and everything. 15 years ago my nice neighbor was going to be good to me and used a power sander thing - blew chunks of wood out everywhere he pointed it - even off the railings. Looked like my house was hit with a machine gun. It was nice of him to try - he used to help me with a lot stuff before he moved - but it created a lot more work for me. Still can't keep paint on the darn house. I have to get out there with a belt sander every 2 years and sand it down, fill it, prime it and repaint it - always bakes right off the south side of the house (the blacktop driveway's on that side, so yeah, realllly heats up!). The next summer it looks like crap again. I think the only thing holding up the house at this point is the bondo and 20 layers of paint. Good thing it's a small ranch home. Concrete block basement leaks, too. Still has the 1956 original single-pane "windows" - only thing holding them in are the glazing points...the putty keeps drying up and popping off. So, I'll be hauling Mom over there every weekend this summer, til my son and I can get it done. Also have to paint the fence. Can't afford siding or new windows. I do like to work on stuff like that, though. And the gardens. I work til I'm so sore and stiff I can't move. Feels good in a weird way. And I like the feeling of accomplishment.

Had to cancel two doctor appointment for Mom today. First one was the dentist as she didn't want to go because she wouldn't be able to hear the dentist [her hearing aids no longer work].... ok, I could understand her frustration on that.

The second appointment was to the hearing aid place... decided it would make better sense for me to take only the hearing aid to the office, Mom didn't need to go... plus it was suppose to snow big time later in the afternoon during her appointment. Once I returned to my parents house [stopped at Whole Foods and got them some organic products they like], Mom asked where was her hearing aid.... for some reason she thought the hearing aid place made the hearing aids onsite, thus had fixed it or would give her a replacement right then or there..... [sigh, I wished it was that easy].

Another article in the Times, this time "A Facility Bingo Call: You Can't Play" (Google ) I can understand why independent living wouldn't want to play with dementia patients, but as the levels go downward, one would believe it would be different. Article goes on to state that when neighbors start showing signs of dementia, they want to separate themselves (i'm talking about assisted living, memory care, skilled nursing)...

And this is apparently what I see when I play Bingo with my mother. The arguments are ridiculous.

I knew there had to be a forum for nursing homes on this website...found it...https://www.agingcare.com/articles/nursing-home-bullying-174743.htm

Hope I sure hope your kitty turns up. Having 6 myself I keep close tabs on them but it's too cold to let out and if they do go out they either sit in garage or wander about 10 feet away and come back. I have a well not now but about 11 years ago I had him arrested for shooting my cats. He was convicted on a misdemeanor animal cruelty charge and had learned his lesson as everything has been good.
Stopped in for a few minutes to see dad. For some reason he doesn't want to participate in the planned activities. Ack!
But my real whine is I have this rash? On part of my face that comes and goes. Gets real itchy and then burns. Doc did not want to prescribe anything but acted up again Saturday morning. Will get a message tomorrow to my doc for something as the OTC Cortaid and calamine lotion isn't working.

Thanks 57...this is the very kitty I had been bragging about just a couple of days ago...He is a big old fat tabby boy and he is just an absolute joy...I am heartbroken. I had to go pick up one of Mama's prescriptions this afternoon, so on the way I decided to make the big loop and ran by the shelter and took my pictures with me..even though I had already emailed them to them, sometimes they don't even read the email for a couple of days..so I checked out all the cats, and that always breaks my heart...but no baby...then I came home and it has poured down icy rain all day but I put on my heavy coat again and got my unbrella and went down through the woods...My coat, my shoes, me and every thing else got soaking wet, but at least I don't think he's down there hurt or something..I had to try..I am not going to give up and am just hoping he has decided to take a break from me, in reality I know he would never leave me...I am physically sick....but I guess I'm doing all I can for now. I will get my little flyers printed out and get them through the neighborhood tomorrow hopefully...maybe he'll be back before then....thank you all for caring...

dee,
if your getting water in the basement its because your gradework isnt right , has nothing to do with the integrity of the walls . its all about water management outside . the house should sit on a knoll , channeling the water into the driveway then into the street . gradework is best visualized by standing in the street and looking upwards . low spots are water traps .

Hope, I can understand your feelings hoping and searching for your cat. I would be out looking, too. The vet told me that the male cats will wander, they can go all over the neighborhood, and not unusual for them to be gone for many days. I know my male cat would follow anything on four legs... even befriend a skunk.

I have a wildlife camera on my porch 24/7 [they are water proof], and I every now and then it will snap a photo of a cat, late at night, and all of them are male cats. All well cared for and well fed. Even when it is quite cold outside, these guys want to roam. Our porch is just a point of interest for them.

Thanks captain. I've got lots of water traps at entire perimeter. Had estimates averaging 8g to install interior drain pipe, double that to excavate and install exterior. The house obviously needs lots of work. Ugh.

drains arent needed if the gradework is right , dee . sure hate to see you spend thousands in the wrong direction . find yourself an old mason for water mgmt advice . hes the guy who has spent a lifetime repairing things damaged by water .
for instance ; if you take me in the basement to look at water problems , im going right back outside to look at your lawn . often the driveway is too high from years of added crushed stone , essentially making your house lower .
you got my attention earlier because this is the only subject in the world that i actually DO know something about . lol
ive got to find something to do for about the next 10 days cause its too cold to work and ill probably put off washing the beef blood out of the bottom of the fridge till the 10th day . i just simply defy everything that society expects of a person -- because i can ..

i am sick of all this crappy "sorta snow" we are getting, another 2 hour drive home tonight.. This time Bmore was decent, but the highway was crap! On weekends and holidays they just don;t plow or salt... HELLO!! Some of us still work, and we need to get to and from work too... maybe to save your life! I am very happy I'm off the next few days... With Dad in MC I can sleep in a bit!!
He is sleeping alot more, and was still eating lunch when Hubs and Mom went to visit.. but that;s ok, he was eating at least!

Hope, any sign of your tiger yet? In my experience, they do this every so often to make sure you're paying attention - he'll saunter in when he's good and ready and pretend he doesn't know what all the fuss is about. Big hugs, it's horrible not knowing what they're up to.

My baby is home!!! My baby is home!!!! He just came home a few minutes ago!!! He appears fine and no worse for the wear and just as you said Country...wondering what all the fuss is about.. lol...I am so happy...I have been literally physically sick all day and all last night...I feel like I can finally breathe again!! So now they are all in nice and safe and cozy!!! I am so thankful..Got Mama tucked in nice and cozy and I feel like I may actually be able to sleep now!!!! Thank you all for caring about my baby...He means so much to me....

Frequent, yes, you are right, males will roam...apparently even neutered ones...because he has been neutered for some time...but he sure wasn't on the premises here...I am just so happy....and so relieved!!

YAAAYYYY!!! :) Hope, get your own back - pretend you hadn't noticed he'd been out!

lol...he knows he's got me wrapped around his little paw :)

the thought struck me while ago -- if we all stay on here b*tching long enough were going to be complaining about our own crappy caregivers pretty soon . gaaah
i just saw chevy chase in a news article and he looks like he died of old age 5 yrs ago but hasnt realized it yet .
im only 56 but watching my elders fade and pass away has shaken me up a bit . then i realize that many of my childhood aquaintences have already crappied off .
i guess were fortunate to get old but somehow it seems like a semi sweet accomplishment .
an old ww11 vet who was at IL with my aunt was driving and doing well 5 months ago . now hes cramming his wheelchair into dining room tables at nh and asking for help getting unstuck .
makes life seem so fleeting and fragile ..

Well, I know what it feels like to be bitten by a pitbull. Wasn't Sydney's fault.. we were playing fetch the d*mn stick at the river today, well, she fetched it, I took it from her and went to toss it back into the water, she grabbed it while still in my hand... giant incisor through the fleshy part between thumb and forefinger... OUCH! Thank God she let's go on command... LOL

I think I shall stop b*tching about my brothers. Doesn't do a darn thing but annoy me anymore so there isn't much point in it. Oldest bro did show up today to sit with his mother so I could go out and enjoy the 65 degree sunshiny day. I had told him not to show up too early since it takes a small miracle to get every up, dressed and fed before noon... well, 10:00 a.m., here he is. Mom's in the middle of flinging oatmeal everywhere, I'm trying to feed 3 dogs and a seriously meowing cat, still in my jammies and uncombed hair. Joy. (Susan, this is why you DO NOT make early morning appointments, or anyone for that matter)! Since he was here so darn early I felt rushed to get out of here... I tried to have a nice serious talk with him but.... zoomies over the head. All he ever says is "Yes, I know". Once upon a time I used to get very upset and my temper would flare with these buttheads... not anymore, I just look at them, keep my mouth closed and go on about my day. How can he fix his mouth to say "Yes I know"? Honestly, I think I am better off without them at this point. I am sure they all think I am such a b*tch... yes, I blocked them from my FB, you can bet they don't understand that I can't stand seeing the FUN they're having fishing, hiking and horseback riding and just think I'm being mean or better yet, that I'm nuts. Sigh. I did attempt to tell my brother how hard these past 2 years 4 months had been on me and if I did act a bit crazy at times to understand the pressure I've been under, first with dad and now mom. All I get, "Oh, I know, no one said this was easy". (HEAD THUNK) .... once upon I time I felt strong emotions, maybe even hatred towards these brothers of mine, now, it's just tired indifference. Even when he was leaving when he said all I had to do is just "text" if I needed something I felt indifferent. Meh, I just don't have the energy to text shit to them anymore.

In otttthhheeerrrr news, sorry bout those whom are dealing with the artic blast and snow. Another weird winter and yet we aren't supposed to say it's Global Warming. Eh? It's going to be in the mid 60's here in the PNW, no clouds and no fog. Daffodils have already bloomed and the rest are sprouting up. This is normally a late March occurrence... if not Global Warming then what the heck is going on? ... errr, I am not complaining, not at all cuz I LOVE this kind of weather ... just sayin it's a bit strange all around.

Lil'pup... I will have to read that article!, it sounds very interesting! Anything that makes sense of what we deal with on a daily basis is interesting and makes it just a tad easier... for the most part.

hope, glad your kitty made it home safely... now you can sleep without too much worry.

Cap, I surely hope what you said isn't what's happening. Mom is very late stage AD but ... but but but.... sigh. Some days I feel like I just can't anymore, then she gives me a toofless smile and let's me know it's going to be ok.

Hello all, figured I'd drop in on one of my fave threads and complain a little. I figured out today that the whole house humidifier - which is an Aprilaire model that looks to be from the 70s - is no longer working. I was wondering why everything was so static-y, even though I'm running 2 other small humidifier units. It appears the unit hasn't worked in some time. I wish I would've caught it earlier. I do hate being confined to indoor air, old and dusty house, AND it's so dry. Just the makings for lots of nose-blowing, sneezing, and coughing. I tried tinkering with all the connections and I can verify there is a water supply to the unit but... not working. :-(

Living in an older house that hasn't been maintained properly for decades means I'm always finding something new broken around here. Today it was the humidifier unit.

ABB, I bought one of those portable humidifier - for a medium size room. Never even set it up. I then bought one of those gimmicks - a tiny Natural humidifier using a stone and water in it. Supposedly people claim it works. I don't feel any difference with it - for months now. I'd better drag out that medium humi and plug it in, etc...

My only whine is that I'm sick. Or have the cold? Or allergies? Hard to tell. Runny nose, lots of sneezing, stuffy nose and ears, lots of sneezing...It's mango season. I'm allergic to mango. I've been going outside and picking up the large Haden mangos that fell from the tree because it's been so windy lately. And now the other tree, the Carabao mango, is blossoming. I can no longer sit on the front porch.

I just now gave a loud sneeze. I startled my dad. He said, "Oh! You scared me! You made my stomach jump... from being scared."

it was hard to sell ' global warming ' to a world full of people freezing their asses off so the terminology became ' climate change ' . look up some images of the galveston hurricane in the early 1900's if you want an eye opening experience . how about images of the dust bowl ? when this old planet cops an attitude - people get smashed .
im up early with my ongoing stress headache . theres nothing to be stressing about , winter just beats everybody down . visiting my aunt always calms me down then i stop by betsys house and theres a new puppy just bouncing off the walls and shredding everything in the house . i keep my opinions to myself moreso nowadays but i left there thinking " whew " i guess im not the stupidest person in the world " . betsy believes if she could just get more overtime pay she will never have to look at her spending habits . an 18 dollar dog toy to replace the ones hes already destroyed . of course only the best dog food that money can buy , and as always last nights ' premium ' grade leftovers are sitting on the stovetop bound for the dog bowl .
its not hard to see why im alone . other peoples values just leave me dumbfounded and i havent looked in a mirror lately but i can guess that ' dumbfounded ' isnt a very appealing look .

If it's any comfort Capt you won't be left paying these idiot's credit card bills. There is a lot to be said for "being alone" as you have discovered by now.