I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
Now I get similar issues if I eat too many peanuts. Pop corn sometimes does it, too.
I think I am getting an ulcer because of the stress :(
I started Yoga!!!!!
I had a massage! !!!!
I have to remember i have to take care of me.
God......i need a vacation.
She's not my mother!
My mother died 10 yrs ago. She was only 59!
And she's Bitter that she's still alive!!
She's my MIL. But I'm so done!
Just as soon as I posted about hospice not calling, they called. Within 2 hours the nurse was here. Turns out mom's doc gave the OK for hospice, not just the evaluation ... the whole 9 yards. Meds are on the way, UTI meds will be here tomorrow as well as a hospital bed, bedside commode... plus, everything else I could imagine. Lisa, my carer was thankfully here today with me... she took 2 pages of notes!! If I forgot something to ask, she asked. Good grief you'd of thought we'd won the damn lotto with all the great helpful things hospice left for us!! Wait... the RN asked me when I'd last had a break, especially since my dad passed 2 years ago... uh, 2 years 5 months ago. She got on the phone called "Hospice House" asked if beds were available and and and... said I basically had to take the 5 days. She went on to tell me that the primary carer has to be cared for as well. Yes, don't we all know that one? HA! I came apart like a gumball watch....
Oh oh... OH, she's also going to get the OK from whomever they get it from to see if Lisa (my carer) can get additional hours from the State, ore even hospice. Is it Christmas? Why am I so happy for something so sad? Ugh!!!
dee, my mom did the same exact comatose thing with her first UTI... I thought she'd had a d*mn stroke or something.
Darn, .... I have to get up super early, get mom up dressed and comfy because I do not want that hospital bed in the middle of the living room. She's comfortable in her room... no reason to change things on her, just her bed and that awesomely comfortable cushiony thing rolled up ... I was told not to unroll because it POOFS up :)) Scoooooch over mom, I'm sleeping with you!
i think you should refer to the hospice people as " home care " around your mother . everybody in the world has an idea that hospice means end of life care . i aint one to softsoap reality but she doesnt need steadily reminded of her prognosis imo .
i s'pect for the next few weeks and months youll have wild emotions that heretofore were unheard of . anxiety , relief , loss , sadness , fear , empathy , rage , etc .
glad you have help though ..
I took Mom to her GP today and he pulled me aside and said..."What are you all crazy???? Mom was doing great in the home, why would you take her out now?" His support helped a lot in convincing my brothers that we had made a mistake. She's going "home" as soon as we can arrange it. These last 6 days with her home I saw that her dementia was SO much worse, and that there was NO way I could do it myself anymore. Lots of tears, a little bit of yelling, but the decision is made and I am very relieved. These last 6 days have already taken a toll on my health. We can love, help and support them in many ways besides 24/7 hands on. It's all good GF.
Sent an SOS to my oldest bro... help please taking mom's bed apart and moving it.. Crickets... Sound of silence. F**k it. I will do it myself in the morning. Sorry.... I am very tired. They can still go f**k themselves... I might get a great night sleep :)
Boni, a lesson well-learned. Now you know first hand that your mom can no longer live with you - since your brothers were not willing to help you more with her care. No guilt - now. You proved it, her doctor reconfirmed it. And now you both will benefit with her going back to her new home.
This morning I feel like doctors are telling us what is wrong with both my Mom and then also my husband's recurring heart problem...and then they never get back to us. Yesterday the heart doctor's office called to set my husband up with an appointment on tuesday and then she said she didn't know where the doc would be on tuesday and would call back.....never did. What?? It is like everyone is saying "You have a terrible problem....too bad....see ya...bye!!" No one wants to help but they sure want the money. This feeling of abandonment has always made me try to do everything myself. I have been told that I would probably take out my own appendix if I had appendicitis! I wouldn't go that far, but it probably would cross my mind as I am so used to not getting help I need. I am still fuming that the gp wants to send Mom first to an" infectious disease specialist" because of her UTI and now that that is cleared up but there is some yeast issues from the antibiotic his nurse says he wants to send her to urologist because she has a catheter. Old people get UTIs...it is not hard to write a script. A doctor that can't handle a patient having a catheter??? Unreal.
I have wondered for a while if there is a system for delaying care as long as possible for elders on Medicare. I feel a six month wait for a specialist appointment is too long to wait but that has been my recent experience. A neurologist told me that although I had abnormal tests results his job was to identify the usual and dangerous conditions and for the rest he could be forgiven.
As far as your mom is concerned it is of course very easy to write a script. In fact they don't even write the nurse types it in and with the approval of the Dr it is electronically sent to the pharmacy. But all that is totally useless unless they culcure the urine to make sure they use an antibiotic the bugs are sensitive to. No problem getting a specimum from a patient with a catheter.
Why not treat the yeast infection? Maybe he thinks that a urologist will be more knowlegeable and set up an antibiotic regime for Mom. Make sure any investigations the urologist recomends are useful.not unpleasant or damaging for Mom depending on her overall health does she need an MRI, CT scan or cystoscopy? Thes all carry hefty co-pays unless she has Medicaid. be sure you totally understand everything and what it entails and depending on what they may find would you do further treatment. don't agree in the office go home and research and ask questions before you agree to anything. For example i certainly would not agree to a colonoscopy for a 90 year old "because she has never had one and early detection saves lives"
Get off my high horse now but I have been experiencing the old age treatment recently.
Mama is responding great to the cipro and I have been able to talk and laugh with her today...now I am wondering how long that has been going on..she is almost as lucid as she was when she first started getting bedfast....she even said she is excited about the snow ..I am too ...now :)
looloo, mine don't undermine or cause problems either. That's just it, how can they if they are never around, don't call or stop by? It's all good. I was in a sad mood the other night and sent the oldest a text. "Brothers Dearest, I get all of the dysfunction we've had in this family, I do not get your dislike/indifference towards mom though, and you might have dislike towards me, I get that too, but this is your one and only mother. She calls out Ken's name as well as yours... look, I love both of you and just can't lose mom without you guys with me, Please". *crickets* Sent another text last night telling him mom was put on hospice and please, I need help with moving her bed. *crickets* Like dee mentioned,, guess I will just start enjoying crickets as back ground music.
I did manage to get her bed apart and cleared out, however, it is now blocking the entrance to the kitchen, the mattress is blocking the hallway into the 2 back bedrooms.... gads, now I have to go clear space in the garage and drag it in there.
No, hospice doesn't always mean our loved one is near death, simply means we have help, people who are loving/kind/caring... who will actually be there if we need them. They will help get us respite. Kind of like having loving helpful siblings without the dysfunction. Oh... the Nurse told us yesterday that basically every patient she's taken on with regards to caregivers, their siblings have disappeared, arguments ensued and they don't pop their heads up until the parent has passed. Hmm, wonder why?
hope, something must be in the air today as my mother is better than ever!! LOL ate a decent meal, kind of chatty, yeah almost lucid?
I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted, even if it's just for a little while, I will take it. For some reason I don't feel as tired and worn out as I normally do. haha, I better get moving before this feeling passes!!!
I wish we were closer, I'd gladly come help you with that bed! I hope things get better for you soon. Hopefully the help from Hospice will provide a much-needed (and deserved!) break for you. ((Hugs))