My "whine moment today." What's yours?

Jessie, Patience 101? I would think more like 501.

Jessie just think of all the brownie points you are earning up there in heaven.

FF cold you persuade Dad to come to your house and try your internet service? He's never going to need all the whistles and bells so don't worry that you don't understand all those.

Now I am going to whine. I can not touch type and when I look up to check I find a lot of the letters just have not appeared and my post is a garbled mess. It really does happen because if I watch they just don't show. Whine whine. Maybe I need another laptop mine is twice as heavy as hubby's.

Thanks Veronica...wait....limit alcohol??????????

Hope - could be one or all of what Veronica said - or gastritis, brought on by stress. Definitely need to get it checked out to rule out anything serious. My system reacts badly to stress - I started with gastritis from stress when I was 10 years old, and it's always been something I have to watch out for. (I won't go into what was causing so much stress for a 10 year old that my stomach tried to eat itself.)

The battle of the wills has been joined today. My mood has not been great for most of this week, and today kind of snapped it for me. I told Mom she needed to get a shower this morning, because she didn't yesterday on her scheduled day. She insisted on eating first - earlier than normal, which throws my schedule off. So fine, I stop everything I'm doing and run to make her breakfast. Not without some small amount of slamming and banging, which I feel guilty about, but dammit, I'm so tired of the step-and-fetch routine. So then she says she'll shower when she's done eating. Finishes eating and I remind her of the shower. Nope, wants to close her eyes for a few minutes - so she sleeps in her chair for 20 minutes, until I tell her to just lay down and sleep in her bed. Sleeps for 20 minutes, pops back up, and IMMEDIATELY upon my saying "shower?", says "Nope, I'm going to lay back down." SHE *JUST* GOT UP. Told her to go to the bathroom - nope, laid back down. So after an hour of sleeping, she gets up, saying she has to pee - really badly - well, of course she does! I tell her to get ready for a shower while she's in there - ok, she says. 2 seconds later, she says she's going to come out and eat a banana before she showers, and when I look at her in disbelief, she says, "I know, I know!! I'm going to shower, just not now!" I. HATE. THIS. She will only get in the shower when I absolutely force the issue, and some days - like today - I have to get downright nasty with her about it before she'll do it. ("Nasty", as in being really firm and stern with her, verbally, and insisting that she shower, like you have to with a muddy 5-year-old. It's just never been my way to be like that with her, and it's hard for me. Goes against my grain.)

oh. my. God. I am so freaking tired of this battle of wills. I know she's older and it's hard to get in and out of the tub, and I haven't been able to come up with the $1800 to get the tub re-done yet so it's easier for her to get in and out, but dammit, I am paying for so many other things right now to make her life easier! (The $1800 includes a new tub surround, which is sorely needed, because the current one leaks, and a new faucet, because the current one is broken.)

As much as I hate the thought of her being in a nursing home, when that day comes, at least I won't be battling with her all the time. Someone else can do it and I can go back to having a NORMAL mother-daughter relationship with her. I think that's the thing I hate the most about this caregiving thing. The loss of anything even close to a normal relationship between us. I am trying SO hard to maintain my level of patience and caring with her, but it's so hard some days - like today. When I get impatient, I start reacting badly, like a petulant teenager - slamming and banging things around - and I know darn well I'm doing it, but it's the only way I can vent my frustration and anger without taking it out on her verbally - which I will never do. I know when I reach that level, it's time to put my headphones on and turn on music, so I can shut her and the rest of the world out, while working and still keeping one eye on her to make sure she's ok. Headphones have been on since about 10am today....sure sign of a bad day.

Sorry, I know this is the same old tune...but it's the same crap, different day around here....just like the rest of you are dealing with....

Jeanette - haven't heard from you in a bit....you and Mom ok? Just realized you haven't been on for a bit.

My whine is about my sister's flying visit today. Here just long enough to sabotage mother's breakfast by backing her up when she said she didn't want it (if you don't comment but just gently persist you can get it down her, but not if someone is making faces and chipping in "perhaps she doesn't like it" in the background), instruct me on laying a fire - which she does twice daily and I've never done before, right? Oh wait, no, it's the other way about - and flutter about helplessly instead of sitting down next to mother and having some actual contact.

Ugh! But at least these days I've got those buttons safely covered. Pushed but not set off. It's all progress :)

CM, you've got to tell me the secret of keeping the buttons from being pushed but not set off, because mine are being set off like crazy lately....

It's so hard isn't it...sitting here reading a lot of your posts with your loved ones who are up and down and down and up and here and there..and it reminds me of when Mama was like that...and now she is totally bedfast...and how sad to say that in some ways it is a blessing because it got to where if she was up she was either trying to go out the door or falling...but how sad to have to say that someone being bedfast can be a blessing...I don't think I mean that the way it sounds....all of it is horrible...and someone as sweet as Mama all of it seems so unfair....

today is cold and there is a line of ice just north of us that has been stalled and now seems to be heading our way...I already prepared for it so we're in...hahaha...what am I saying...heck we're always in......hugs to you all out there, up there, over there....none of it is easy....Mama is having a happy day though..so that means I am having one...

My mom's been confined to wheelchair/couch/bed since her stroke in 2008. I cannot imagine what it must be like to have a wanderer.

dee, I know, it's so sad to think that being bedfast would almost be preferable to wandering around but once Mama's dementia got so bad she was such a danger to herself...I did finally get one of those bed alarms and the bed rails that will attach to a normal bed..those would usually detain her long enough that I could get there before she figured out how to CLIMB OVER THEM...but I remember those days and I mean you could not let her out of your sight...but still seeing her so unable now to move, that is so sad too...none of it is not sad... :(

Ouch... I have an inflamed esophagus and it is all stress driven... my sig other thinks it only happens whenever I call my parents or had been down to their house... he doesn't realize it also happens when he comes home from work [he generates equal amount of stress but heavens no one can dare can tell him that because it's everyone elses fault, never his].

Where my helmet?

Hope, my grandfather did that too, after he had a severe stroke. They had him in bed in the hospital with the rails up, and this 300+ lb. man heaved his body over the rails on one side and landed on the floor. He was pretty determined to get out of that bed. Then they started putting him up in a wheelchair, but had to use sheets to secure him to the chair (tied around his chest and waist, like seat belts - this was decades ago, wouldn't be allowed now). He would sit there and pull at them, muttering, "too tight. too tight. sumb*tch. too tight." The nurse would come in and say, "Don! It's NOT too tight!" and she'd pull it out away from his chest to show him, and then leave the room - whereupon he returned to muttering "sumb*tch. too tight!" Have to chuckle at it now, though I know he must have been incredibly frustrated.

As usual, mom finally showered after I got upset and irritated with her about it. I apologized for being irritated, saying I was only trying to do what was best for her, she said she understood, and on it goes....as usual. We'll have this same fight and conversation in 2 days. I got her toes done (*gag*), so that's done for another week or so. My stomach is still flip-flopping.

Susan, hopefully Jeanette took our advice and took her well deserved and needed respite. I do have her phone/text number and will check on her if we don't hear from her today.

Not a whine, just some FYI for Ya'll. There has been a lot of talk about coconut oil. I just want you to know, it may or may not help with dementia, but I bought it for my HAIR and it has never been softer or shinier! I look Marvelous! LOL!

thanks Boni..going to give that a try...at least I can look marvelous while I lose my mind... :)

I'm in the coconut oil camp, too, Boni. I use it in my coffee every morning (bulletproof coffee w/coconut oil and unsalted grass-fed butter). Awesome stuff. I use the unrefined virgin coconut oil in my coffee and for cooking, and the refined kind (cheaper) for my face and neck. Drinking the BPC in the morning makes a huge difference - I think more clearly and it has a mood-levelling benefit (which obviously wasn't quite enough for me this week. My mood overpowered it. LOL).

Grr. My mother just ate tonight's dinner for lunch. Now I have to make something else.

Sigh....once again, my mom's denial of all health issues (ie, can't barely pivot and transfer but insists she walks fine with a walker, is on two person assist to do everything but wants her own apartment) has her unleashing on my sister. I'm going to pick her up on Saturday for an afternoon out, and my GERD is starting to kick up at just the idea of an afternoon captive to her current mood. And at the center of my gut flaring is the knowledge that while we (and her doctors) know she needs 24/7 care, she's mentally pretty good (some short term memory issues) so she could decide she doesn't need or want to be in NH. Since she's mentally competent, I have no idea what would happen if she decided she should leave the NH.

Linda22, same happens to me, my acid reflux kicks in the day before I need to take my parents anywhere.... and it's in major kick form while driving them :P

Where are my Tums? And my helmet?

ff, I'm past Tums and onto Pepcid....I've always been healthy, active, Everready bunny. I resent that the fallout of dealing with my mom's ongoing quest to turn back time is causing me to feel drained, snappish. Last Sunday was lovely and I had wanted to plant peas (gardening is my happy place) but I was too worn to want to go dig. I get that this situation is not what she envisioned for herself. We can't turn back her health issues, we can't give her the social whirl she had back in the day, we've run thru all the options (her living with us, her in a gorgeous AL).

Ok, whine over - thanks for listening.

I have a brother, 5 sisters, 4 BIL and 15 nephews all within a 5 minute drive, yet I am the only one who shovels the snow. We got a foot I have shoveled 3 times, more expected. Just shoot me

Seems like the weather is making everything go haywire today....now my computer printer is not shutting off with the stupid blinking light on and off telling me it is shutting down but it is in stuck mode....about ready to smash the thing onto the driveway!! Mom has yet another UTI too, but the nurse practitioner will get the script for the antibiotic in, thankfully.

Maybe I should pour the coconut oil into the printer...and then smash it onto the driveway if that doesn't work haha....grrrr. I hate machinery!!

Linda, for a couple years tried Prilosec OTC... yesterday I bought Nexium, just popped in my first pill a couple of minutes ago... I know I should take before breakfast but if I get any side effects I rather it be when I am not at work.

Forget gardening, just bending over to dig in the dirt brings up the reflux :P And how I miss playing in the dirt, I found it relaxing.

Katie, I've notice a computer software issues today... I was doing my on-line grocery shopping and the software kept getting suck which was the first time that ever happened in a year of using the service.

We are dealing with a foot of snow here here in the nation's Capitol. It stops everyone in their tracks. I left work at noon and the road was deserted.

You don't have enough room On your page.

Lourdesb61 - sure we do. Come on in, the water's fine! It may help you to vent.

Hope, I find it helps to avoid eating or drinking much before bed. Drinking more water during the day helps. I read that mint and chocolate relax the sphincter muscle in the esophagus and for me, that's true, so I avoid those when I'm having a flare up. Oatmeal sits well, breads, rice. I avoid sodas and..gasp...coffee when I'm having a flare up. Feel better..

i dont have a fuss tonight . in fact feeling pretty well .
i went cold turkey on the zans about 5 weeks ago and it isnt as rough as i expected .
i always figured if i only ate them about 2 weeks a month then ran out i couldnt be addicted to them . duh .
fact is id eat them for two weeks then be a bundle of nerves for the rest of the month . in my case a couple of zans would send me straight to the beer store . found out this is a well documented phenomenon . the zans dull your head and make ya crave booze .
i want to smooth out and live a long time . its the only way to spite the people i hate -- which is pretty much everybody ..

Grr planting peas - not round here. Even if I could get down to the dirt I doubt I could even dig a hole with a pick axe.
Next priority is to dig a path to the propane tank as we are due for a delivery early next week.
My GERD has been well controled as far as pain with Famotidine but after my last endoscopy I was changed to Protonix - same result higher price!!!!!!!!!! May never use Asprin, Advil or Aleve and stay away from the booze. Oh well just part of getting old I suprose. I had already been warned off those because of the warfarin.