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Hi everyone, my name is Debby and I have been reading this post daily for a while now. I love you guys and the way in which you help each other. I started a thread on whether or not to put my parents in a skilled facility. I have a whine I would like to share and hopefully become part of your thread. My mom is on hospice. I have been told by hospice they are going to find me someone who can give me an hour or two occasionally so I can have a respite time. So, my respite day and time are set, I get all ready for an hour or so off, maybe I can actually sit down and enjoy a nice, quiet, hot lunch. Get all ready, excited, and guess what they don't show up. I call the hospice company, and they don't know why but they will try to find someone else. UGH!!!
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Debo, what a disappointment. I wonder if they depend on volunteers for respite time for caregivers. Volunteers are wonderful, but sometimes are no dependable. I do hope they are able to set you up with someone more dependable who will give you scheduled breaks every week. You need that for you and for your mother.
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my whine is my angel mom had to be admitted to the hospital today :-( it turns out that shes anemic and has to have a blood transfusion
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Jessie I was going to write something smart about hair suites and sack cloth and ashes but did not think you would appreciate it. I do totally agree with your sentiments. These highly compensated fire breathers get little respect from me.

Debby I do agree with Jessie that volunteers can be unreliable. Not all the time but sometimes think it does not matter because they have not been in a caregiving situation and they can come another day. Others are totally dedicated and go way beyond what they are assigned to do.
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I would have probably loved a good hair shirt/sack cloth comment. :) That's what my wardrobe is starting to look like since I've been here. I seriously need some new clothes.
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cinben, My Mom had a blood transfusion a few years back and it was a good thing, but just took some time to do. She looked and felt like a whole new person afterward. I am hoping this will be the case for your Mom too!
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I'm sorry to hear of the poor experiences with hospice. They were wonderful for my step-mother. I hope things improve.
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cinben, I had a friend with leukemia who used to get blood whenever he became too weak. It helped him so much. Do they know what type of anemia your mother has?
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The other thing squirrels don't have their spiritual understanding adulterated by is the irresistible desire to tell other squirrels how to go about their lives, JessieBelle, don't you think?

But I digress. My big whine - Debo, I can cap you! - is that caregiver A was late for my respite and had to leave early, and caregiver B, who's supposed to be here at 6pm for one hour to give mother her supper, was fifteen minutes late and, um, drunk. I think. I couldn't quite believe it. My guess is that she clean forgot she was meant to be here, went to the pub, remembered, thought ohmygod and hared over here as fast as her wobbly legs would carry her.

I don't know what to do. I mean, she wasn't actually reeling and hiccuping, but there were those faint fumes in the room that you can't think where they're coming from, and she was more garrulous than usual, and flustered. It's not the kind of thing you can ask the agency to investigate without causing really serious repercussions. And I'm not quite sure enough that she had been drinking. She'll be here again on Sunday: if there's any repeat I'll ask her straight out.

Quite honestly I was more concerned anyway with mother, who's been floppy most of the time and argumentative the rest of it. And she won't stop scratching her eye so I've had to start the chloramphenicol ointment our GP prescribed last week, which means four battles a day for a week while mother squeals and wriggles and I pin her head down and strong-arm the stuff into her eye. It's not as abusive as it sounds, but it's not fun either. I'm tired. I'm going to bed. Debo, with luck you will find at least one respite caregiver who's as lovely and helpful as some of the ones we've met. Teething troubles, merely - keep chasing the agency and they'll soon get it sorted.
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cinbin...hoping and praying everything goes well for your Mom. I know when Daddy had a transfusion many years ago, it did take a while, but it really helped him a lot. praying the same for your Mom...stay strong.. ((hugs))
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Mama has been chattering like a magpie today..Wow, most of it has been pretty coherent! I have been a happy camper today!!! So thankful for this very very precious time with her..
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CM I think you can rightly inform the supervisor for these caregives that they have been late and/or early. Give exact times of arrival and departure. These can then be compared with the times they put on their time sheets. You don't need to mention your supicions about the drinking unless asked about their general demeanor. then you can mention whatever clues you observed again without making any direct assumptions. Chances are ther have been other complaints about these two.
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Well, mom is all packed and ready to go to "Hospice House" for 5 days. Me, I'm blubbering like a d*mn baby.

She was up for a few hours yesterday, but mostly in bed, asleep. She said she was tired. She slipped from under me when transferring her... we camped out on the floor until my oldest arrived to assist. Man he made good time! Basically, she's now sleeping all the time. Refuses most food, drinks a small amount. My heart is breaking and I am so damn tired. Scared to send her to Hospice House, scared to keep going cuz I will drop any second now.

Thankfully, my carer's and hospice workers have been my Godsend, including Lisa the lady who has been with us for 8 months now.

Is it bedtime yet?
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Been having chest discomfort for the past 2-3 days. I've had this before. Feel more tired than usual. I had pericardial effusion a few years ago. It resolved on it's own. Symptoms came back a year ago and I went to ER - they said no heart attack and was probably my anxiety or depression. So now feeling the same symptoms. Really can't afford another $2800.00 ER visit. Praying I feel better soon or I'll have to go pay doc to tell me I'm stressed. Ugh.
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Jeanette sounds like you need to sleep for those five days respite. Mom will be fine in the hospice house, she can just as well sleep all day there as at home and the staff are experienced in end of life care so won't upset her - much better than hospital or N/H respite Don't forget to get out and get your hair done and buy some new clothes and a decent meal.
Next time mom falls call hospice to come and hel[p you. If they cant't get her up they can call the EMTs to help. they won't transport her anywhere unless she is hurt and the nurse will direct that. You can back up the nurse if the EMTs give her a hard time and want to do IVs or anything. keep a copy of her DNR posted where everyone can see it and one in your purse. Relax and enjoy the respite you have permission to garden. No risk of that in the frozen NE yet.
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dee, I hope you feel better soon. Take some deep breaths, relax, and stay hydrated.
Mom went to hospital today...just spent 5 hours in the ER and she is in at least overnight. Testing for infections. I am exhausted as I was up all last night while she woke up every 45 min. talking and seeing things that were not there. This is not characteristic of her. It feels strange that she is not in her room though...I am soooo tired and going to try to catch up on sleep, if just for one night.
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Also stupidly and tiredly forgot to check the sheets for kleenex and of course one got into washer...then washed a pair of black jeans without seeing the kleenex exploded in there....ugh, what a mess.
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This isn't a whine but an ah ha moment for "Add your comment" box where we write our posting. Look at the bottom right corner of this box and you will see some very tiny dots.... now put the Mouse on those dots and then two arrows will show up... now left click and pull down... it makes the box larger, thus easier when writing a longer posting. Now I don't know if this will work on all devices, I am using a desk top computer.
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Dee, I was assuming my chest pain was anxiety until the massive heart attack that almost killed me last September. PLEASE go get checked out again! Don't be an "ass" like I was!

Jeanette PLEASE use this time to get lots of sleep and to do something fun. (NOT the pool boy!)

Katie, I did that last week with a diaper. Lesson sooooo learned!
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Wow! Very helpful FF!
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Thanks, Katie. Boni, yes I will. Jeanette hope you can unwind and reconnect with yourself. I read somewhere that it takes a person about 3 days into a vacation to start relaxing/benefitting from it, so if you don't relax right away don't worry...you'll find your groove.
p.s. was taking my mom to an orthopedist to get her knees injected. moms legs gave out during the transfer. I couldn't hold her up and get the chair repositioned underneath her at the same time so I lowered her to the ground. I could not lift her myself to get her back into the chair. just at that moment an angel of a nurse who was just leaving her shift saw us and came over and helped me get my man back in her chair. She saw that my mom had her shins and knees scraped up and recommended that we have the doctor take a look at them. So i take mom inside to the doc to get those same skinned knees injected. I felt so guilty. I explained what happened and Doc checked her out and said wow, her knees really got banged up! He cleaned them up. Luckily no skin broken where he needed to do the injections. I felt so bad.
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Oh Jeanette, my heart goes out to you and your mom! I hope that you get the rest you need!
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Insomnia sucks. That is all.
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Yes, insomnia isn't a nice thing at all.
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This is probably not a whine but I just read that scientists have reversed memory loss in a sea snail's brain cell.
Good news for anyone careing for a sea snail.
Negative posters please ignore this information, while true the post is a joke.
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Jeanette....hoping you are embarking on five days of R & R....I remember when I had to put Mama in respite and was so scared..you remember that.....they took great care of her and I could not have gotten things settled at my other property without being able to do it...I will be doing it again soon myself...While I think there is always that feeling of "I feel guilty doing this"..I also have finally learned if we don't get a break now and then, it will be a different kind of break we experience...so better care of yourself equals better care for our loved ones...imo....enjoy your "me" time.. :)
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dee...I hope you are feeling better now......that is frightening...don't ignore something that needs to be checked out friend...Katie..I hope you are getting some rest too...

Another rainy day here, but not whining as Mama is in a happy mood ..she even spoke to the Hospice aid this morning and the nurse...they were shocked at how clear she seemed...Has been a happy morning for us here...amazing how NOT lonely I feel now that she is much more mentally back...so thankful I have been given this blessing....

If I could just get all the clutter put away and cleared out...I think I will focus on doing just that today.....
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Taking positive steps here to alleviate my "grief" over permanently placing Mom.
I am getting a kitten, named Fiona this weekend!
I also booked my Vacay to see my new grandson, when Cardiac rehab is finished (June) and YES I got the room with the Jacuzzi!
I'm seeing a therapist once a week and am enjoying the rehab....lots of nice people and it's not as hard as I expected. Things are finally looking up!
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Boni, sounds like you have things well in hand. I bet the kitten will be cute.
Jeanette - how's the respite coming?

I've been on a real tear through the house since last weekend, cleaning, re-arranging and generally putting things the way I want them. I always ask Mom's opinion, but she usually defers to me on it. She likes the changes I'm making because it's something new and different. The house has been the same since 1970 - dark paneling on the walls (and the kitchen cabinets - dad put it there too), dark red carpeting in the kitchen (yes, not kidding), worn out unvarnished floor in the living room...just dark, dark, dark looking. Very depressing. With the paneling off the walls, and the walls painted light colors, the carpeting taken up and the hardwood floors refinished, it's made the biggest difference in the house. It just seems happier and brighter. Still have to have the trim put back on the walls and re-do the cabinet doors (have the "open pantry" look right now) but those will be done this summer. I want very much to put a dishwasher in the kitchen, but the tub cut-down for Mom and the new roof on the house and garage needs to come first.

This weekend, I put the tv wall-mount on the wall (only to find it needed an adapter set to make it fit our tv, ordered that, putting it on today), brought in a gorgeous shabby old country cabinet with a big glass door on it to put mom's knick-knacks in, picked up another little cabinet for a microwave stand and got the microwave off the (very limited) countertop, put up the remaining shelf over the other window in the living room, put up a clothing rod over the washer/dryer for my clothes to hang on (no closet in my room), and am in the process of putting up metal hold-backs for my bedroom curtains and a new, curved shower-curtain rod in the bathroom, which will give a little more space in the shower.

I am woman - hear me roar! I think I must have spring fever. It's been in the 40s for the past few days, the snow is melting away at a fast clip and we're starting to finally see grass, even though it's still dead and brown at this point. Even the trees are starting to wake up and bud out.

I picked up a new client today, and for once, it was a client who respects and accepts that you get what you pay for - and she didn't balk a bit at my hourly rate or try to get me to lower it. What a refreshing change! I am hoping to get a significant amount of work from her at that rate - it will be a huge help with all I'm doing in the house.
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Boni, that is awesome!! A Jacuzzi also? Plus a vacay?

Hope, yes I remember how frantic and scared you were.... my tummy is tied in knots waiting on the transport people. I thought we agreed for 10:00 a.m. pick-up?

Susan, WOW!! I am super impressed with your abilities, especially the walmount, I finally gave up on mine and had my brother do it

Glad the snow is finally leaving, but remember, with grass there is mowing! LOL I've mowed 3 time this winter.

I just need to find my energy, it's hiding somewhere, even sleep hasn't been able to find it.
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