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Last week I posted about my dad watching another resident as he thought he was wearing dads clothes? Well it must be dads latest obsession. I went over and brought one of the cats for a visit and was straightening up dads room. Went outside to fill his birdfeeders and stopped to talk to some of the aides. They asked if I had seen a black belt which I did as it was curled up on nightstand and I put away. Well not dad's but another make resident. I mentioned dad is thinking other men wearing his clothes and they agreed with me. One said dad jealous of other men that have moved in since the new year. Dad was the first man to move in then a husband/wife moved in about 6 weeks later(august). So now what do I do? I do not know if he is going into their rooms? They do live on the other wing so it would be pretty obvious and most been doors closed so a key is needed. Ack....
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stopped to see my aunt this evening . she is getting rather wildeyed . it could be a little infection in her body throwing her off but it could be the beginning of serious mental decline . my mother was sometimes delusional and said things that made your head spin but in hindsight she lost her marbles in a major way the last 3 months of her life . i intend to be by ednas side as much as she'll permit but i dont expect it to be a casual stroll .
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57twin As it is Easter week - another cross to bear
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Sorry about Aunt Edna, Cap. It really does seem the closer the end is the more active they become. Guess this is why they call it actively dying eh? Last year this time I would look at some of these questions that came across here and think to myself "Seriously"?? Today, I totally get those questions. Also, I totally get how'd you tell so many people, being there at the end is so important and how much of a special bond it brings to you and your loved one. Hey, I love this lady so much... truly it has become an honor to care for her and be her special trusted person.

Speaking of mom, y'all remember that doll I got for many months ago in hopes she'd cling to it vs pace the entire night away?.... well, she cuddles with her now. Keeps her arms from being on the bed and gives her comfort. In time it all becomes useful! LOL, oh... her behind is healing up nicely BUT... she is starting to get a sore.... on top of her big toe? How the hell does this happen? Yeegads, apparently at night, she scrunches down in the bed and the SHEET of al things rubs it. This is how tender their skin gets... a sheet is rubbing a sore in the top of her big toe.

Her appetite, today, has been awesome... so what if it causes messes, those don't bother me anymore either.

The weather has been just spectacular here... myself and my Oregon Son have been really doing lots of yard work. This place will be a sanctuary in a few weeks... a place of peace, quiet, love and lots of parties one day!

I still have this headcold/ or allergies. I haven't a clue what is anymore either...Finally made ME a drs appointment for tomorrow. Watch what happens, tomorrow I will wake up as if I've never been sick. Murphy's Law.

Hope y'all are doing great and that the snow has finally yielded to Spring!!
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Jeanette, you can get cages - miniature versions of the ones they use for amputees, I suppose? - that will keep the bedclothes off her toe. I agree about the outrageousness of all these crazy things that creep up and pounce on our charges - I still haven't got over mother's ears being one of the areas that had to be checked for pressure sore risks. Why don't they just write down "anything that sticks out" and have done with it?

Yay! - for getting round to making an appointment for yourself, at last! Make notes, or you'll get in there and completely forget what you wanted to ask.
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CM don't forget her nose I have seen them there too. A piece of real sheep skin under any area that is at risk really helps. Just a small piece is enough for the ears.
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This comes under a whine. I will try to set up the picture so you can see the 'humor' in it. Basically, we (my mother and I) have a habit built up that we don't get our morning started til 7 a.m. I wake up at 5 a.m. and make the coffee and then try to have the early hours set for me to do whatever. I am very quiet in the morning to be respectful of her time in her room sleeping. So......at 6:30 am, I hear her get up. I think, ok, she is going to get up and maybe get coffee early. No---no so. She gets up and starts her clearing her throat, little cough, grunting sounds, mumbling, cussing under her breath. Mind you, this is done right past my bedroom door. I try to ignore it. Then she gets her coffee (which she usually waits for me to do it). She clatters, bangs, bumps everything she touches. Clearly this is done to announce that she is awake. Again, try to ignore til 7 am just to keep the routine and to let her know that she is not going to get me up too early. She makes a few more noisy passes past my bedroom door til I give up close to 7 to start the day. I am pissed and angry at this and trying not to explode at her self-centered rudeness. You have to understand that she has had this kind of behavior since we were teenagers trying to sleep in. I am trying very hard not to be upset since she is 'ill'. It is really the selfish behavior I object. She is aware of no one else's needs except her own. My morning in a nutshell after I have just tried to remind myself to be more patient.
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Not able to be on here much lately, which I'm sure doesn't really bother too many folks.

My kids' drama has invaded my life once again, and it's mom to the rescue again. I'll always be there for them, but getting very tired of putting myself behind the eight ball to rescue them because they keep making mistakes and dragging their young children along for the ride. It's because of the little ones that I step in. If it were just my adult child in a screwed up relationship, I'd play the tough love card and tell them to figure it out, but I refuse to see my grandkids mistreated by anyone.

Got the tub cut down for Mom. Told her she should try it out today, as I spent an hour cleaning up the tub after the work was done, putting up a nice new curved shower curtain rod (more elbow room in the shower!) and putting nice new shower curtain liners up. Her response? "Eh...if I don't do it today, I'll do it tomorrow." Um...I'm thinking to myself, NO Mom...you will do it today. I just spent $800 to have that damn tub cut down and spent an hour getting it ready for you to use! I *knew* this would happen. It's not that it was too hard to get in and out of the tub, it's just that she doesn't want to shower, keep herself clean and thus, avoid the horrid smell in the house and the sores that can form on her skin because she's not clean. I know, I know. Many say it's part of aging, but you know what? I know a LOT of older people that don't resist being clean. This is not *just* an aging issue.

I'm so frustrated and depressed right now. Sibs are saying, "oh we wish we could help you"...yeah right. No you don't. If you did, you'd find a way to come over and take Mom somewhere (even though she resists going with anyone but me) to give me a break. You'd offer to do something helpful like bring a load of groceries or something. You'd offer to come over and help with housework - even THAT would be a welcome help!
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Hi Susan, I have the same problem with my once super-clean mom. She really resists showering. I have to just keep insisting and it's very draining. In my mom's case, I blame it on her dementia , not her aging.

My mom also doesn't want to hang out with anyone but me. She doesn't like driving in a car unless I am the driver. And how many times have I heard "Oh I wish I could come over BUT......" Always that "BUT"!!!

Hang in there!! You sound like you are doing everything you can to help your mom!!
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Just taking a few deep breath and getting my bearings. Sat down at my desk at work first thing this morning, and my cell phone rings. Don't recognize the number but I answer. Someone claiming to be from Life Alert telling me that my mother's alarm went off, they can't reach her, paramedics are on their way, and "Can you tell me if there are any keys hidden outside?" I was trying to process everything, and then that question just sounded so fishy! I hung up on them, called Life Alert directly, and they confirmed everything. I called my mother and this time, she did pick up the phone (both she and my father have a history of NOT answering the phone, not hearing it, hanging it up wrong so there's a busy signal---ARGHHHH!!!!). She sounded fine, she said she was fine, and it sounded like she was doing ok handling all the activity in her house. Life Alert called me back w/in 15 minutes and said the issue was with her carbon monoxide detector, which was going off. So technicians will be fixing it.
Relieved, but shaken, and as usual, irritated with her. Yes, she has dementia, but she still irritates me. Honestly, I'm so patient and kind on the outside - I know it doesn't show when I vent here! It's happy hour somewhere, right???? It's a little early for a cocktail here, but I guess I could spike my coffee ;)
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Thanks, Sally77. I'm *really* trying to get her in there to try out the shower today, so she can see that it's really easier than it was before.
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Susan, my mom fights the shower all the time. She can't get in the shower herself, since she's in a wheelchair. Her birthday was last weekend and I figured correctly that 1-2 sibs would show up to visit her. I got her up and told her I was going to help her in the shower - she was having no part of it - I pleaded and told her she reallllly needed a shower - she kept shaking her head and saying NO! I finally had to forcibly lift mom and put her on the shower chair. She is bigger than me and was heavy but I was determined. Really hate for it to get to that point, but she really needed a shower and a sponge bath was not gonna cut it. Of course, she always feels better once her shower's over, and thanks me for helping her. I always need a shower after I give her one *sigh*.
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Dee, my mom always says she feels better too after it's over. I always remind her of that beforehand!! I'm glad that your sibs showed up for her birthday!!
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I know, Sally. We're down to 1-2/wk now. She used to take 1-2/day. Now I make it a "spa" experience. I got some great sea salt scrub for her and it helps with the dry skin a lot. Then I put on body butter. 1-2 times a month I give her a mani/pedi. She feels very spoiled afterwards. And smells quite fresh.
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Boy did I ever have my own senior moment today....I had a meeting at the nursing home where my Mom is for rehab for a few weeks. The meeting went well...but on the way there I kept thinking that my black dress pants felt strange....Lo and behold I had by accident put on a pair of my husband's black dockers that somehow got hung in my closet with my other dress pants!!! They were a bit long and a little big so I belted them up so they looked better and I had a blazer on over them. I don't think the ladies at the meeting noticed as we were seated the whole time.... Exploded kleenex in washer, wearing husband's pants, wore my plastic garden shoes shopping last week....I have to wonder what stress is doing to me!!
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Sorry Katie, but I giggled when I read about the pants! The other day I put on what I thought were black shoes...nope - they were brown and I looked like I got dressed in the dark (I kinda did). I also went a whole day wearing my tank top inside out - good thing it was under my sweater, but you could still tell. I figure as long as I'm wearing clothes I'm good.
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I know what you mean, Dee. I'm so frustrated right now, I could just cry. You know that saying, "you had ONE job...." - well, that's how I see it. Mom has ONE job - to take a shower every other day. And I just paid a huge amount of money (to me) to have that tub cut down, and now that it's ready to use, she won't use it until SHE wants to. I asked why she wouldn't shower, and she said exactly what I expected - "I don't feel like it." Not that she doesn't feel good or is tired - she just doesn't want to. I know some of this is dementia - but she's not that bad yet. She is not scared of the shower, and loves to have me scrub her back and let the hot water pour over her neck and back, but *getting* her in there is like pulling teeth. You'd think I was telling her she had to shower outside in full view of the neighbors or something, as much as she resists it.

I know part of my reaction to this is a reaction to the stress of having to deal with my kids' situation yet again, and knowing that having to help with that is going to strain my finances once again - just when I was starting to get to a point of getting mom's house paid off, vehicle paid off, etc - allowing us more freedom financially - now I'm going to be putting myself back behind the 8 ball to provide for my child and grandkids until they can get on their own again. It's easy for those not in this situation to look at it and say "don't do it".
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Yes well i won't say it but have they applied for any and all help out there rather than expect good ole Mom to pony up again.
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Why does it make me so tired to do things with my mother. We went to the doctor, then out to shop for her an Easter outfit. At the end of it, I felt like I'd been whipped. Three hours feels like three days. Maybe it is because we move so slow that all my blood goes to my feet? Or maybe it is all the negative talking? Or maybe it is because she becomes so tired I feel like I'm carrying her after a short while. I don't know what it is.
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Jessie, same happens to me... now it's to a point that I take my parents only to one place....

It is just too stressful for me driving my parents that it zaps all my energy just to drive them to the doctor..... then filling out all the forms because the doctor's office wants the forms complete while we are there so no handing the forms to my parents.... sitting in the exam room telling my Mom 5 times what the doctor is trying to tell her because Mom is almost deaf..... then afterwards driving my parents home and correcting misinformation that they thought they heard.... and Dad happily suggests lets do lunch..... NOOOOO.... I usually use the excuse that I need to go back to the office to work.
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So glad it is not only me. Mom wanted to go out to eat after we'd finished shopping. This was after she had been acting like she was about to fall over from fatigue for three hours. I told her I was too tired to go to eat and still had to go to the drug and grocery store. When I got home from all the chores I lay down a few minutes to let the blood get back to my head. That always helps.
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Looloo Irish coffee!!!!!!!
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Jessie, I stopped taking my parents to Walmart or to Target... it would take me a week to recover from that adventure.....

Driving to the store hoping I don't get a panic attack.. now helping my parents out of their vehicle, which I hate driving, kills my back and neck... then quickly finding some shopping carts in the parking lot to bring to my parents so they can hang onto the carts while walking... then getting my parents into the store ....

Then following Mom [97] around the store re-shelving everything she picks up because of her failing eyesight she can't put items back correctly on the shelf, I don't mind that but it gets tiring after an hour... get the one cereal she uses which is on a top shelf I can't reach unless I use her cane to snag it and hope it doesn't bop us on the head... or keep myself from falling over when trying to bend down to get a heavy can of pears on the bottom shelf.... ok, where's the Jello... so I race up and down each aisle looking for it.... and where is Dad?... on his own in the store....

Mom is finished shopping so I walk her to a bench to sit so I can search for Dad... oops, can't sit there as there is a person of a different ethic background already sitting on the long bench [I got to look for a new helmet]....

Ok, now the hunt for Dad, up and down the aisles, back and forth, another round trip in the store... ah ha, found him... take him to where Mom is finally sitting.... she's not there... she got worried because it was taking me so long... so I park Dad on the seat and repeat and rinse....

Now the check-out adventure... they have a full cart... I have, if lucky, two items.... unload their cart.... oops, price confusion.... now Dad needs to show his driver's license because of the wine... Dad looks and looks, digs in one pocket then another... I open my purse and pull out my driver's license as the line behind them is growing and growing... now out to the parking lot as I struggle to get their items into the trunk, bags a pretty heavy... I get my parents back into their car and climb over them to help buckle their seat belts... I am getting too old for this !!!

Now Dad asks if we could go to the bank.... [sigh]
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CAPTAIN. I AM SORRY TO HEAR THAT YOUR MOTHER HAD THAT PROBLEM. AT 83 I WORRY ABOUT ME AND MY MARBLES. I HOPE YOUR AUNT DOES BETTER. I THINK A PHYSICAL PROBLEM IS MUCH EASIER TO DEAL WITH THAN A MENTAL PROBLEM.
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TO FREGFLYER
YOU ARE HAVING IT ROUGH. WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A LIST AND LEAVE THEM AT HOME. IF THEY NEED AN OUTING, JUST A DRIVE IN THE PARK MIGHT DO. GOOD LUCK. VERNA
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This is more like crying out loud than whining, I am not telling you for sympathy, but I will take any prayers offered. I'm hoping, once again, that you all learn a lesson from me and take better care of yourselves.

I was diagnosed with Diabetes literally during my heart attack. I wasn't surprised. I assumed it for quite a while, but did nothing to address it. I saw the eye Dr. today because my vision has been extremely blurry in one eye. I have severe diabetic Retinopathy in my right eye, and mild in my left. It is the number 1 cause of blindness in american adults. Treatment is a series of injections and/or lazer treatments and I am scared to death. As scary as the treatment is, the thought of not being able to see my grand children terrifies me. My new one is due any day now.

If you suspect you have it or have a family history of it GO get diagnosed!!! If you have diabetes see your eye Dr at least once a year! I had symptoms. Many do not. I am seeing (no pun) a specialist next week, My Dr feels confident that they caught it in time and can save my sight.I'm praying he is right.

BTW, this is why I hardly post much anymore.. I can't read the screen or the keyboard without my giant magnifying glass and setting my pc at 200%.

I hope someone learns a lesson like Y'all did from my heart attack. Love to you all. Going back to bed to cry and feel sorry for my stupid self. I'll get past this. I have lived through much worse.
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one word-Norovirus!
Went to Dads yesterday and brought one of my cats for him and other residents to pet. When I got their activities had been cancelled as the activities director said a diarrhea bug. He wasn't too interested about the cat so I probably left a half hour later.
Forward to midnight as I thought I had heartburn but made myself throw ip and have been downhill since. Chills, fever, diarrhea. Did not work and tomorrow I have off due to an open house which if I do not improve I will not attend. If this is tough on me I cannot imagine it on the elderly.
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PS. I went to the diner across the street from the eye doc, because I had not eaten and my blood sugar was very low. I discreetly removed my bottom dentures to eat and wrapped them in a napkin next to my plate. Yep. Forgot them and they are now in the bottom of a dumpster somewhere in west Islip. Any body have good news today????
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Oy, life is grim today on AC. Boni, big, big hugs. And bigger ones coming your way. Diabetic retinopathy is a scary thing. You should see better after they get the clutter cleared out. Now you know about controlling your sugar, I hope no more damage is done.

And I'm sorry to hear that you'll have to have another plate made. What a pain at a painful time.
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Oh Boni so sorry to hear you're having a rough time. I will take your advice. With that chest discomfort I had and a recent change in vision I think I'd better start taking care of myself. I hope things turn well for you. Blessings to you.
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