I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
Mom is doing better today - seems more alert and aware of things. She's got her appetite back, so that's good. I'd still like to know why exactly she passed out to begin with, but I suspect dehydration was the culprit.
Got her bloodied clothes washed out and managed to salvage those, but her pillow was a complete loss. (I put it under her head while she was on the floor and it was saturated with blood.) Bought a new one last night. Brother and sister came to see mom last night and brother came to the ER the night she fell. Other sister will come to visit Tuesday. Maybe while she's here, I can run to get a few things at the store. Other than quick runs to the local convenience store, I'm not leaving Mom alone anymore, and even those trips make me uneasy and I rush back to make sure she's ok.
When they are alert, lucid and annoying the heck out of us, it's so easy to forget how fragile they actually can be and how quickly things can change. That fall could have turned out so much worse.
CM - glad to hear you're hanging in there. And it's Jell-O in the states. :-)
Decided instead of hiring a caregiver to come in when I go grocery shopping, Mom will just start going with me. It will be good on 2 fronts - it will force her to get out of the house more often (which has been hard to do) and it will save me money if I don't have to hire a caregiver. Also, it will help her get a better idea of the cost of groceries and help her understand the food choices I'm making on her behalf. She seems to like the idea. On days when she resists going, I'll just remind her that if she doesn't go with me, I have to have a caregiver or someone else come in to sit with her so I can go - hopefully that will keep her moving.
Tomorrow I'm calling to check on getting her a hospital bed for here at home, something that raises and lowers at the head and feet and has railings- she slept far better in the hospital with her head elevated a bit. Today I'm re-arranging the living room to put more space between where she sits (bed and chair) and anything potentially dangerous that she could hit on her way down if she happens to pass out again. This may mean moving my desk into the kitchen, which isn't ideal, but at this point, I don't care. I just want her safe, and if that means downsizing to a smaller desk and moving it into another room (but where I can still see and hear her), so be it.
Eventually it came to a point where I couldn't bring Mom shopping with me anymore. Mom would have a full cart of groceries that she needed and my cart was almost empty. I found I had to tag along behind Mom every second because she needed something on a top shelf [I could barely reach it] or she needed something on a bottom shelf [I had to be careful not to fall on my bottom trying to stand up]...
then there was the re-shelving of items Mom would pull off the shelf to get a close look at due to poor vision, and she couldn't find the right spot to put back. After a couple years of that, I was so exhausted after those trips.... then the next day I would go back to the grocery store to do my own shopping.
For the past full year I have been using on-line grocery shopping... what a life saver for me :)
CountryMouse I have been following your story (and everyone else since I signed on here). You and your mother are in my thoughts and prayers. You and many others here are laying down your life for your loved ones I AM IN AWE OF ALL OF YOU.
i got a 450 gallon plastic water tank so in a few weeks i should be rigged to capture rain water thus eliminating one monthly bill . the electric bill is pay as you go with a 30 dollar monthly minimum . i plan to get an on demand h2o heater for the shower and beat the electric company at their own game .
this house feels too nice for me but wth -- i built the dam thing i should be the one enjoying it .
i think some kind of corporate conglomerate is keeping online non perishable food prices artificially high . i havent found a decent deal yet on dried or canned foods .
my mothers last few days of life i had to pace beside her most of the time because she was getting so unstable on her feet . one day i saw her stumble and hopped in close to stabilize her and she was momentarily blacked out on her feet . i had to keep her entire body weight vertical for several seconds . yes blackouts happen , its why aunt edna is in nh . she was blacking out and falling .
It might be worth initially asking her pharmacist if the meds she is taking couldhave interactive side effects. They ARE supposed to check but they dont do that ALL the time. OR you could google the meds for side effects and contraindications. Sometimes it takes months before the build up of the drug activates them - in Mums case it was an increase in one of the antidepressants that tipped the balance. now they have taken that away she is back to being her usual self - miserable as h*ll and demanding as ever and wanting to give her money to anyone who asks for it (except me and all I wanted to do was buy her 3 new pairs of bedsocks - Oh well - out of my own pocket again!!!!!)
Having had a great night - Mum slept almost through except for getting up once for a loo break - she has now decided she wants a cooked breakfast - never eats those. So I did her eggs on toast. She didnt like the toast, 'the eggs weren't real eggs were they you cant fool me, and you know I like butter' (she has refused to have butter for the last 15 years ffs) It has taken me 20 minmutes to get her to have her meds, she has a headache, she feels sick and now she thinks she wants to go poop but maybe not. Oh and 'can I have another cup of tea this one was horrid'. Hmmm all that and its not 10 yet roll on tonight is all I can say. I said to her would you rather not go out. No she wants to go out 'but I am not eating out' you can't get food since rationing you know they use wood chips in the raspberry jam' (which in the UK to be fair they did do but hey that WAS 70 years ago). ROAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR
It won't do Daughter any harm to find out how loooooooong things take. Why, does it take a full thirty minutes to get just their pants and socks on? It just does. God knows what we're doing all that time, but it just does. She'll get used to it!
Yes, definitely looking at a 2nd opinion. Giving the GP one last chance to prove himself this week on her follow-up and if I'm not satisfied, we're going to look at maybe finding a geriatric specialist in the area. I'm going to explain to him that I feel very strongly this was a blackout episode, NOT sleep. Her oxygen levels kept dropping into the 80s while we were in the ER and even after she was moved to her room - she was on oxygen the whole time. She is not on oxygen at home. HELLO?!? Going to ask him if that shouldn't ring some alarm bells in his mind. It does in mine. An oxygen level of 80 is not severely low, but in someone of mom's age/health, it could be enough to indicate there is something going on.
Talked extensively with Mom about that very thing this morning - she's fine with looking for another doc if her GP continues to brush off my concerns this week at her follow-up appointment. I've already started looking for a geriatric specialist in our area and will be making calls to see if they are accepting new patients.
Made a bunch of phone calls this morning - follow up appt. for Friday, stitches out on Monday, getting gutters cleaned and exterior windows washed, requested prescription for hospital bed for Mom, and rescheduled the yard work that was supposed to be done on Saturday. Well-meaning cousin asked why I don't go out with friends sometime to get some "me time". Yeah, right!
Yesterday went badly today is clearly worse and Mum is clearly reverting back to type. But in all fairness I have made the biggest blunder. Mum has been so restless at night that I found if I sat on the floor (and trust me I am waaaaay to old to be sitting on the floor for 2 hours at a time) and held her hand she would stop fidgeting and go back to restful sleep. So I had this wonderful idea. She loves cuddly toys so I gave her my old 14inch possibly slightly bigger koala bear (toy one before you all ask) to take to bed with her to cuddle.
Brilliant job sorted I thought. Oh no now we wont let go of the bloody thing sorry for the language Im exasperated.
I change the sheets on the bed today and put the bear on the chair upside down - my god youd have thought I had drowned a kitten
She wants the commode I have to do everything but actually pee or poo for her because 'koala likes being cuddled'
She was sat this afternmoon 'feeding koala his tea' MY bear now has flaming tomato pizza toppig all over his fur so I have had to wash said koala. I might even free him tonight and let him find another tree to firage in. No I wont actually but Jings she has been trying.
Im going shopping Mum what would you like to eat for a change....'ooooh Koala what shall we have to eat?' I wasn't at my best and she could tell from my tone that I was getting angry.
'well we dont like those nasty potatoey things that woman gets do we koala' - I can feel simmer point approaching......Calmly no mum not what you dont want I need to know what you do want. 'well i dont like those sponge pussings and koala doesnt eat them either'....can you see the steam coming out my ears? No mum what DO YOU want not koala I know what he likes what do you want.....'Well I dont want...' Mum stop what do you want start your sentence with I want
I want koala back - yep that was my walk away moment. And please dont tell me she didnt know what she was doing. the carer said that wasnt very nice was it and her reply. 'She should know I am only joking'
By the time I had gotten any sense out of her the carer had to go so I still ended up doing it on line anyway
Trust me tonight koala gets it!
Doc is *finally* hearing what I'm saying and took appropriate action. I repeated (again) my concern that her fall was not caused by falling asleep in her chair, but by a blackout caused by - what? - I don't know, but we need to find out so we can take action on it immediately before it leads to something worse.
Hospital bed ordered for mom to use at home. Oxygen ordered for her to use at home (he finally recognized that her oxygen level was too low and she was struggling to breathe when I pointed it out). MRI ordered for Monday morning (soonest available appointment for an open MRI unit due to Mom's weight/size) to check for possible TIA. Home health care nurse evaluation ordered to see what services Mom may need to help her recover (depends on if Medicare will pay for it as to whether we can do that or not).
So all in all, a good appointment this morning with good results. I know now that this doctor is just one of those that you have to figuratively grab by the face and say, "LISTEN TO ME!" before you get his attention. You have to tell him, tell him again and then tell him AGAIN. Shouldn't be that way, but it is - and now that he understands that I'm not stupid and didn't just Google Mom's symptoms and regurgitate web-found stats at him - that I truly understand the nature of what's going on and will NOT be blown off - he's finally listening and taking action.
On another subject, had a visit from one of mom's relatives today, one she hadn't seen in years. Unfortunately, they live in a different situation than we do - one where cats pissing on the clothes he leaves laying on the floor is the norm, and he picks them up and wears them. The smell was so strong it actually gave me a headache. Stripped mom's bed (he was sitting on it) and opened the windows as soon as they left. Love my family, but sometimes it's hard to deal with someone else's definition of "living".