Follow
Share
Read More
Find Care & Housing
Everything can set me of and make me cry when I'm hyper emotional or very tired. Even going to Walmart is a tearjerker when i remember not so long ago Mama and i would go and just browse for fun home stuff and it was the best time. Its hard knowing that is part of my past now. I hit the hay sooner than usual tonight because my cousin will not sleep on a bed and insists on sleeping on the sofa beside Mama and she was not going to bed and Mama was getting fractious so i just started turning off lights and hollered time to hit the hay ladies. ...im amazed a grown woman wouldn't get that Mama bed to be asleep by now . I guess she means well..Just does not think
(1)
Report

My mum has taken medication not intended for her. How you might well ask. And you might well ask. I took her to a memory clinic and she went one way to join a group while I went another. one of the men in the group said he had found the cure for constipation...oh I suffer from that says mum (at least as far as I can tell this is how it went). Have these he said I always keep two with me just in case. So she took these two tablets and squirreled them away then last night when she thought I havent been all day (she had ...twice....she took these two talets ...senna

So today is our selling open day and I was woken at stupid o'clock to yet another explosion and her saying we have to cancel Im nmot well.

Well when I went to put her diaper in the bin I noticed some tablet outers - the foil things...now they are always in my bin outside so I was curious and found the senna. 3 hours later and with windows open, the room still smells a little yukky but i have hosed the commode down outside, deep cleaned and then steamed the carpet - luckily most went on the plastic which is now in the bin.

9:27 and she say I want to go back to bed.....well sorry Mum this time you can't
(0)
Report

Oh oh, oh, oh, Jude, ......oh noooooooo
(1)
Report

Oh no, Jude!! Is there no one supervising folks at these clinics? You poor thing. Sending huge hugs your way.
(0)
Report

This is a clinic she attends while I attend training in how to care for her....hmmm methinks I know a tad more perhaps than they do!!!!
(1)
Report

Jude, I have no doubt in my mind that you DO know more than they do. We are the ones spending 24/7 - 365 days a year with our loved one. They just go by what was "taught to them" from a book or something like that. Good Luck! I honestly don't know how you're keeping all this energy up...I'd of dropped long ago.

Susan, wow... you got a lot of great idea's for moms nosebleeds. Uhm, hehe, so I shall just toss mine in as well. This is more to stop/slow the bleeding. So, the paramedic who taught our CPR classes at school for the past 15 years has always told us to take tissue and put it up under your top lip and apply firm pressure. Apparently the majority of the little blood vessels are there and that stops the blood supply. Just a thought :) Don't work so hard...give yourself a break sweetie!

Gershun, nothing wrong with attending a grief support meeting or getting grief counseling. I'm waiting for them to call me about mine. I can't stoically keep blocking everything out, it just isn't working and making things worse. Just a few days ago I cleaned the fridge out and was balling when I tossed her barely touched apple sauce/pudding and Ensure out... I see her little hair pins, her favorite after bath powder and her lipstick she loved to wear and I cry. Cry cry cry... if God gives points for tears shed I should be top 10 in line. Sigh. Like now, the tears well up typing this up. I so miss my little cutie patootie. I keep wondering why mother, a woman full of life and fun should end up with such a horrible disease and be allowed to suffer the indignities of it. It's just not right and they'd better find a freaking cure for this. Okay... enuf or I will wreck my day thinking about it all over again.

Thanks girls, my pib is doing better although she's a bit sluggish from her meds. Dog bites are bad, dog bites in a dogs mouth ...not good! CM, you are so correct on Staffie's dispositions...she's very mannerly and seems offended around not so nice pups. Is your Staffie a pure Staff?... Sydney has to be at least 3/4 staff and has the cutest big muscly butt you ever saw :) I love to watch her walk with her big ham back quarter swishing side to side and her big bowling ball head. yep.... love my pibble fer sure!

The pool is almost FULL ! Heck if I hadn't turned to water off last night it would be full. I was afraid it would run over by the time I crawled out of bed. Last night I had a big fire going in the fire pit, soft rock playing, drink in hand and kicked back the my girls and enjoyed the peaceful evening. Mom would have loved it.. she enjoyed sitting out at the fire pit roasting marsh mellows or hot dogs...oh great, here I go again, sniff.

Ha, I'd love for someone to dare come visit me and stay over. They'd be turned into a house keeper real quick like. Vacuum in one hand, windex in the other!!

Ok... what to do today what to do?
(2)
Report

Jude, you know WAY more than they do.

Thanks for the suggestion, Jeanette.

My mood swings are crazy wild this week - must be (what used to be) that time of the month. I no longer have all of my equipment, so I don't *have* that time of the month, but I do have the crazy-hormone-creating-ones, so once a month, my moods go a little haywire. Happy one minute, almost in tears the next. Just spent 20 minutes detailing Mom's day to my brother on the phone and telling him why NO, I can't go out to breakfast with them tomorrow. Appreciate the offer and glad he asked, but almost wished he hadn't - and I'm sure he felt the same way after he listened to me whine. His statement? "Well, maybe it's closer to time to put mom in a nursing home than you think." (sigh) They just don't get it. As difficult as caring for her is becoming, she is *not* nursing home material. She is still able to walk and care for herself, but needs reminders on everything - and she's not going to get that in a nursing home. We are in that in-between stage, where she is not safe to stay home alone, but is not yet nursing home qualified. You all know what I'm talking about - better than anyone else would.

Jude, it's funny how much knowledge we gain as caregivers. I have always been a voracious reader and have always had a thirst for knowledge. If I don't know how to do something, I learn through reading - and with the advent of the internet, that's even easier to do now. If Mom develops some new issue, I learn all I can about it and figure out how to deal with it. Medicine and anatomy have always fascinated me, so I kind of had a head start when I moved in with Mom. Her homecare nurse and therapist have told me a few times now that they thought I must have a medical background because of how I handle things with Mom - I told them no, I don't - I just read a lot and listen when the doctors tell me what's going on, so I know how to handle things at home.
(2)
Report

UH OH!! Our water is off... I sure hope I didn't empty our well :O
8600 gallons is a lot of water.. it isn't quite full either, maybe another 1600
yeegads I am scared now!! LOL
(2)
Report

Hope you get your water back on soon, Jeanette!
(0)
Report

Jeanette, I hope all works out with the water and that it being off has nothing to do with the pool. The firepit sounds like a wonderful thing to relax around in the evenings. Hope pibble is feeling better..
Susan, I have been asked if I have a medical background too. One way I have been dealing with all this is to learn as much as I can about everything and be hands on too. It helps to deal with it all if I tell myself " I am a nurse by necessity" to make it better, to keep Mom comfortable and pain free and for me to keep learning.
Jude, I hope your Mom is feeling better soon.... I am sure that the clinic where you are getting this training could learn a thing or two from you! Experience means a whole lot more than some young kids having read it from a book only!
(0)
Report

Jeanette, If I could have a few hours sitting by the pool on the warm sunny days and a few hours under the evening stars then I believe the housekeeping would be no problem. I have done housekeeping for several through the years including two grandmothers who were very picky.

Susan - I wonder if it is just that time of the month period... I have thought it could be "that time of month" for me as well this week but mine stopped early in life over 10 years ago. I know what you mean about the crying when you look at something of your mother's. I don't know if I am worse since I look at something of my mother's and can not think of how I would be able to get rid of it after she has gone. She is still alive and already I am crying over what I may or may not have to part with.

My mother's 80th birthday is Monday. Neither of us feel much like celebrating. Please God let me somehow give her a good day.
(0)
Report

Jeanette I would love to sit by the fire pit with you and listen to soft rock. We could sit and reminisce about our Moms and bawl. Our tears might put out the fire though.

I won't vaccum or windex though. :)
(2)
Report

Well we have offers on our house but I wont know what they are till Monday - grrrrr. Today the family aka my kids and I had a strenuous discussion about the move. The vultures are hovering and I am playing hard ball. they want me to do all the packing etc and then just hire a man and van to move us which would save me and mum about 1.5k BUT AT WHAT COST TO MY HEALTH AND SANITY. I have told them absolutely not. I will get a skip (do you call them skips....waste buckets the size of cars?) and I will downsize BEFORE the move but I aint lifting diddly squit. Like I said to them if I do my back in who looks after Mum? They are not happy but tough. I am looking at rewriting my will just not sure which animal shelter to give the money to......I am so glad I wont have my kids looking after me ... it would be a recipe for complete disaster. I didn't realise until today just how selfish I have obviously trained them to be so I guess I must have done a really bad job of raising them. hey just another thing I was crap at!!!!! Bed time nnite all
(2)
Report

I made a will out years ago when I still had money. Set aside just enough to make sure my mother would have a decent burial then the rest went to a senior animal shelter I had found for dogs that couldn't get adopted. Nothing worse than getting old and feeling unwanted poor loving cute adorable...unwanted like people with dementia know what I mean? There was no way on this earth my money would be going to anyone of those worthless ex-siblings.
(4)
Report

Wow I was thinking something similar today. When mom died last year we had her cremated. A church mass and lunch after. Sad that some of her sisters couldn't make it.
For dad I do not know if I want all of that. We had mom's funeral back where they lived most of their lives as mom passed away unexpectedly 10 weeks after I moved them closer to me. Only a cousin has visited dad in the year plus since moving oh and one disaster visit from one of moms sister. I would rather have something by me and if relatives cannot drive the 1 1/2 hr oh well.
Not sure what my sister thinks but I suppose I won't worry about it until the time comes.
(0)
Report

Shilo I feel ya. Theres nothing worse.
(1)
Report

Shilo...amen! Those are my plans as well, leaving my empire to the animal shelter. ..one that will focus on rehoming and not euth. Good for you!

Jeanette, excellent idea re the stay over but fid luck getting mine to do that. .lol. this morning i actually toughened up a bit . I got up early, as always, Mama was good but not wanting to have her bath yet. The cousin sure want moving and did not move till almost ELEVEN!!!! I had gotten Mama's bath, etc and gone through a pot of coffee. I die not get my company her coffee this time. I told her coffee and cinnamon rolls in kitchen, help yourself. She seemed in shock but when i went and got me another cup and didn't bring hers i think she saw i meant it and room service was over.

I developed a horrid tension headache by mid afternoon and even though she was here i told her i had to put my feet up and close my eyes and i promptly fell asleep. She was here till not long ago. Ifeel bad for her with her severe speech impediment but during the course of her visit she actually told me she felt better than she had in a very long time. .more energy, etc and was as relaxed being here as she had been in a long time. .glad one of us was. This all behind me now i have learned that with Mama's situation and my lack of energy i will not be doing that again. It was mind numbing. And mama does not understand her and it confuses her when my cousin yells at her thinking yelling mumbled words makes them more understandable. ..it doesn't.

Jude, be careful moving. I got to enjoy that about 9 months ago. ..did not like it.

My feet are now up for a bit as i have given mama her ensure and changed her. .ah, the glorious feeling of solitude. ..my kitty is still not home. I am very worried about her. ..
(1)
Report

Twin....i am wondering the same. When Daddy passed we did the whole long evening before 4 hour visit. ..then the one the nectar daddy followed by church lunch and the funeral in the church. .i am leaning towards the hour visitation before the main service and then the graveside. Mama has not been in circulation so long i don't know if many will come. .those who lived her most have all passed or are in similar condition. I want it to be reverent and veery honoring of her but i don't think i can go through a long process. To be honest if i could do what i wanted i would have a tiny service for brother and i and that would be it. ..to me, what mattered was honoring them when they are here, not after they are gone. I am afraid i may slap people if they start telling me how much she meant to them when they never bothered to visit her one time. .
(0)
Report

Hope - I pray your kitty is just enjoying itself with a companion and will be back soon.
General comment not directed at anyone so don't anyone take offense please. I have never understood why cats are allowed to be outside roaming other peoples property. I like cats...to be on their own property so they don't stir up my allergies. It never fails, anywhere I move there is always problems with cats by my window. I am one that like to have my windows open for fresh air rather than use the air conditioner. When cats sit by my window it causes me problems. Not only does it cause allergy problems but they make noise and wake me up. Don't bother telling me to spray water or something because the damage is already done by disturbing my sleep. If I am going to spray something it would be much stronger than water. Honestly, I don't dislike them just allergic to them. I was in a pet shop one time looking at the pretty little kitty...I wanted to pick it up and hold it so much. I finally gave in and stroked its head just a wee little bit. Did I say it was so cute? My eyes were all watery from being so near the kitty and I had to drive home with one hand because I couldn't touch anything...I mean nothing...until I washed my hand. Oh, ya I drove a stick then too. It was worth it...such a cute baby kitty never forget it!
(0)
Report

Hope I would love to see that. You slapping people at the service :)

I can think of a few people that I would like to slap too.
(1)
Report

People who cried at funerals are not very good when people are alive,they don't VISIT a love one until the very end or at the funeral!
(1)
Report

I would love for all of you to sit around the fire pit also...wow, now that would be a dream come true :) It truly is relaxing, even if I am alone with my girls it's nice.

Uhm, yes the water came back on, but it is slow and sputtering... hehe, I know I must have emptied our well. SORRY I didn't know. Seriously, I'd thought about it, asked the General Contractor who erected the pool would it cause an outage with the neighbors and he assured me it wouldn't. Oooops.

OH YES!!! I forgot to mention that psycho daughter in law of mine called me 4 times during the middle of the night... 1:30 a.m. actually.... why you ask? haha...

SHE IS PREGNANT AGAIN!

thump thump thump thump oh God... really?
(0)
Report

Oh NO Jeanette pregnant? I wish it felt good to say congratulations on being a grandma again. Sorry I was asleep during the first pregnancy, wasn't aware that part of your son's story. I do hope it will all work out though for the baby's sake.
(0)
Report

Oh my gosh Jeanette. Need to borrow my helmet? I'll let you have the pink sparkly one this time.

Jude - those big wastebins are called dumpsters here in the states and I'm about to rent one myself this summer to clean out Dad's garage and get rid of the debris from tearing down the old shed, etc. The smallest ones are about $200 for a week, so it's been on the back burner for a while. They sure are nice, though, when it comes time to do a big cleanout.

Been working like a fiend all day long today, it feels like. Going to go to bed. Oh wait....I have to fold laundry first, since it's piled on my bed. Dang.
(0)
Report

I hope my baby comes home but I'm worried now. There is a neighbor cat who is not neutered and he comes over and humors on my babies. ..i bring them in at night because even though they syst in our yard i don't trust people at night when i can't watch them. I like animals a lot better than most people i know
(0)
Report

Haha, Shilo, you have NOT missed a thing! He visited her in MN he lives in FL (please don't ask) 4 days after he left she posted bizzaro shit on FB insinuating she was pregnant, then a day later she supposedly had a miscarriage. That is what I meant about pregnant again. There may not even be a baby...psycho girl. She once asked me what my mothers dying had to do with the happiness of my son. That's all it took or me to dislike her.
(0)
Report

Jumps...not humors...good grief
(0)
Report

Oh wow jeanette...i didn't realize that one is who you meant. .bless your heart...so they got married?
(0)
Report

Our neighbor's son driving a Dodge Challenger "only 20 mph" took out brick mailbox 2 houses down, ran through their yard, then through next door neighbor's yard, then across our front yard to T bone my baby car sitting in driveway next to my husband's Tacoma truck. He hit hard enough to knock my car into truck and shove them at 45 degree angle off driveway into neighbor yard. Just paid off my car in Jan;(
(0)
Report

In shock here.....john boy you wrote "People who cried at funerals are not very good when people are alive,they don't VISIT a love one until the very end or at the funeral!"

Do you mean that when my mum dies if I cry that would mean I have not been very good while she was alive etc? I thought I would ask before I said you talk bollocks because I don't want to sound unreasonable
(0)
Report

Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter