Follow
Share
Read More
Find Care & Housing
Thanks for caring and really hearing what Im saying.The missing newspaper might not be a big deal.but its just another problem I have to deal with.I have already thought about putting out a sign,but Im scared it might create more problems.The bathaid just left after telling us about her great weekend and upcoming vacation to Florida.I wish I had 1 thing to look foreward to in my life,but I really dont.Its not good to feel this way,especially when Mother doesnt have much time left.I will just go in my john,and scream or pray...
(1)
Report

LuckyLu, it IS a big deal. It is a large proportion of what your mother is still able to enjoy. I agree with Jeanette - these lowlifes should at least know who exactly they are stealing from. They probably think it's no big deal too, and they should think again.

I just hopped on board though to hide in my study and escape from exSO's clarinet practice. We're on to "Daisy Daisy give me your answer do" and it is hysterically terrible. I haven't laughed so hard, or had to do it so silently, since my daughter's school's string quartet ground to a screeching halt part way through Pachelbel's Canon one Open Day. Like I could do any better, I know - but I'm not making anyone listen to me.
(3)
Report

CM tell him to go out and serenade the chickens (Don't be surprised if they quit laying)
(3)
Report

Luckylu I love the neon green idea but perhaps write on it in big letters. Yesterday you stole my mothers newspaper again, it is her only joy and as she is dying I would like you to know you were successful in making her life more miserable than it already is. You should be proud that you took away her sole comfort and I hope you feel big and strong for so doing. now get off my Effing step before I take up my right to bear arms and pepper your arse with shot.

Alternatively would the newspaper boy push it through your door or into the mail box if you slipped him an extra dollar or so?
(2)
Report

Thank-you all for the advice about the no alcohol. I just got through sending an e-mail to my family since this is just going to be a "family get-together" In short I just said "At the risk of sounding like an old hen could we keep the alcohol consumption to a minimum, I know we are all responsible adults, but this is supposed to be a Celebration of Mom." I was giving them a bit of credit calling them responsible adults but maybe they might consider it for a moment if I butter them up a bit.

Luckylu I used to get my newspaper stolen all the time too. It gets delivered at 5 in the morning and it was usually gone before I got up. I eventually installed a camera to find out who was doing it. I sat up one night and told them I had a video of them and I was going to report them to the police if they didn't stop. I really didn't have video of them but just the threat alone scared them away and they never took it again.
(2)
Report

Got my 3 hours of respite again today, after running Mom to the cardiologist for her follow up appt. Glad we finally got that done. He's a doll - he renewed mom's scripts for the meds that were about to run out due to the old doc's office not transferring her records to the new doc yet. Stopped at old doc's office while Mom was with me and asked why records hadn't been transferred yet - their answer was "we never received a request". Of course they didn't. I only faxed it over twice - why would I think they received it either time? Finally just filled out the form and had Mom sign it on the spot and gave it back to them myself. Now we have to wait until Friday for their "copy service" to copy the records and send them out. Ridiculous.

Picked up Mom's scripts, paid 3 bills, returned the slippers I bought for mom that didn't fit, bought another pair that I hope *will* fit, since they are the only shoes she can wear and the hospital/nursing home lost her only pair (so now she's shoeless), returned a year's worth of pop bottles for the deposit (we drink very little pop, so it takes a year to build up enough to return!), picked up groceries, stopped at the mini mart/deli and picked up some quick dinner (and a few drinkie poos for me), paid my storage bill on the way home. Arrived home to find a couple of large packages on the porch - my new grill! - and my email notification bing-bonging madly with work for my clients. No rest for the wicked. Unloaded groceries, brought packages in and dove into work. Cleaned up 3 pee messes and changed sheets 2x since I've been home. Created a customized test/exam for one client, dispatched a few email blasts for another, packaging some shipments for yet another client soon, and posting some movies for sale on FB.

Now where are those drinkie poos I bought myself.....
(3)
Report

Jeez Susan all I've done today is send a couple of e-mails and pick my nose (just kidding).

Bottle some of your energy and send it to me will ya?
(2)
Report

Well-earned, I'd say, Susan. I had the drinkie-poo but not the flurry of activity. Mañana...
(1)
Report

Well I haven't earned the drink today but I was ready to start before noon. I was waiting for the medical equipment company to come pick up the hoyer lift that we can use. They were suppose to pick it up around noon. At 1pm I called to see how much longer they would be so I could run an errand to the bank. The company said about 2pm so I went to the bank. Doorbell rings around 2:30pm but it was the nurse. I called her to come check on my mother since her blood pressure was low, her sugar was low, couldn't get her to drink and take her medicines so I crushed them and got her to swallow some yogurt which was a struggle. Of course, that was not before I slapped my mother's hand and threw the glass of water in her face because she literally clenched her teeth after she spit out the pills she didn't swallow. I followed it up with 'Happy Frickin 80th Birthday Mom!'. How could I do that or say that to my mother? I was trying to find something for us to do to celebrate the day and what the he!! do I turn into? So now it is 9:30pm most of the day gone and I am going to go make myself my first drink. Sad thing is with 6 children, 16 grandchildren and 8 maybe more great (not old enough to send a card) no one sent her a birthday card. or sick or both
(0)
Report

That is sad Shiloh about not remembering the birthday but I am sure some hands will be out looking for stuff once your mom passes.
Planned on riding my bike to dads this afternoon as I weeded, did some pruning, potted up some container tomato plants and did a clean up by my garden shed.
However heavy rain put a halt to that idea and I wasn't going to drive in the downpour either. Tomorrow then.
(0)
Report

Im so sorry Shilo...i don't know what it is about the lack of caring if all our other family, the non remembering if those special days. ..and we are not angry at our loved one, we are just so so so frustrated. .i hate to admit but i have had my moments too and as most of you may recall. .i even mooned my Mama a couple of times. It just comes out. ..i just made sure i made it ok with her and told her i was so sorry. ..we have an awful lot of emotion were trying to reign in. ..
(0)
Report

My cousin texted today to tell me someone called in a cancellation and she is to go tomorrow for more tests. .this is a three month bounce forward. .she greatly needs a diagnosis on her situation. .
(0)
Report

Susan!!! LOL!!! OhmahGod, don't you LOVE those 3 hours! You are really worse for the wear if you didn't have respite!!

Hey, if an yone needs a few chucks, medium sized depends or some pads, let me know.You pay just the shipping. I have severl other things like hospital gowns, hospital bed sheets and other assorted things. OH OH, plus I have that lovely baby wipe warmer so it's easier wiping your loved one :)
(0)
Report

Shilo, you know I am so sorry about what you're going through, right?

Honey, please remember with Alzheimer's and dementia they FORGET how to swallow, they forget everything. If your mother is refusing pills, food or water ask Hospice what is the next step. Shoot, I crushed pills and hid them in pudding for months but when mom didn't want anything, she'd scrunch her face up and clench those lips TIGHT. I learned NOT to force it on her... she knew more than I did no matter how stubborn I thought she was.
(1)
Report

I dont mean to sit on a fur lined pity pot,but I am beyond tired of the constant problems and messes.So far this morning,the bottom of the trashbag broke and trash went everywhere and then the microwave exploded with water while the nurse was here and im scared I broke it.Last night I heard a horrible crash in the living room and went in to find our beautiful statue of The Lords Last Supper in a million pieces,which Im sure the cat did.It just goes on and on and on and make me so depressd.Sometimes I wonder if God is punishing me....
The Hospice nurse had nothing good or nice to say and certainly didnt offer a hug to Mother or I.Today I take Mother to the beauty shop for a comb,so that means loading the oxygen and heavy wheelchair into and out of the car along with a very wobbly Mother.I must be so careful with her to keep her from falling.A fall was what hapened that started this whole mess 9 and a half years ago.She broke her neck in the tip of her sull in C-1.A half of an inch,and she would have been dead or paraliized.I am SO lucky shes still with me and I love her so much.I am also very blessed that she still has her mind.She is very sweet and good.We used to go to garage sales alot,so we call ourselves the sh-t searching sisters.
I want to thank you all for your feedback.I have lost all my friends and am very alone in this.You "GET IT" too and no one else does.Take care to all....
oh yeah,atleast no one stole the newspaper today.I am grateful for that!!!
(1)
Report

Lucky....friend, I TOTALLY Get it. Sounds like you and your Mom are very close and have had a lot of fun adventures together, like Mama and me. Sometimes i think one of the hardest things to get past is knowing the independent, fun, hilarious, feisty little lady i have lived all my life is pretty much "gone". I still love her madly, font get me wrong, but at times i feel like i am in a constant state of grief. Now our time together is pretty much devoted to cleaning up the messes and it is mind numbing and depressing. It infuriates me that the few people who do come just toss out a few platitudes and they are on their way. .having made themselves feel they have really helped me out somehow by taking thirty minutes of their day to come by and tell me how busy they are and have been, how this kid is going on vacation, that one is getting married, this one is getting ready to do this that our the other and of course they are about to go to the beach so I'll know why they are not dropping by. Who cares? ? I certainly don't. All their mindless prattle bores me to tears.

Mama has gone from no BM at all to absolute horrific diarrhea and i do mean brutal. So cleanup is often and tiring to say the least. I am glad she is having them though as she feels physically a little better it seems. Actually this is more her normal being on a total liquid diet and sometimes when I'm being really mean i envision any of the rarely visiting yahoos having to clean this up ONCE, let alone all day every day. ..

I live my furkids but they have broken so many things, including destroying my Mama's beautiful antique rocking chair which i will have to have recovered but for now i just have it covered because the two idgits responsible are still in the teenage phase so they're not done yet. ..

I think the biggest thing that may have helped me is i have totally stopped worrying about that feeling of needing to always have everything perfectly done, including myself. I decided i was going to have to find a way to make this my life for now. ..because it is. ..and im ok with that at long last. ..i know ours going to be ok..and lime you i am just so thankful for the time i have been given with her. .doing this has changed me. ..and i think now it's for the better. I still am not crazy about the humans in the human race but i can say I've eased up on them. ..they can't help it that they're not as amazing as we all are. .. ((smiles))
(2)
Report

This coming Sunday is Father's Day and I will need to postponed dinner like I did for Mother's Day due to the fact I am still healing from a fall. Dad said we could order from Olive Garden, but I had to remind him that I still eat like a 3 year old and spaghetti would be quite a mess for me. We will do this some other time.

Guess Dad thinks that since I am back to work [only 3 hours in the morning] that I am 100% better... he doesn't realize or understand that I sleep away most of my afternoons, pain can be exhausting [I am inbetween naps right now].

Plus I would need to clean the house, that's a lot of physical work, it doesn't matter if it were the Queen of England visiting or my parents, I would want a clean house.... but I can't do it one handed, and forget asking sig other to pitch in, he's done his quota of helping :P
(0)
Report

Spoke with the nurse from Dad's Doctor office and alazopram will be prescribed very low dose to start. He has is overdue 6 month checkup monday so I hope I can get feedback from the early evening aides.
Stopped by after he ate lunch and pointed to a house across the field (AL is rural setting) and said that is where he is keeping his truck (my sister has in VA) but wants it indoors in the winter. I said I will park in garage-little white lie.....
(0)
Report

FF - what about ordering pizza!!! Any excuse will do :) And it's completely pointless cleaning up before you get busy with a good pizza - you'd only have to do it again straight after. By the way, the Queen might notice you hadn't dusted but she'd never be so rude as to say so.

Sorry to hear you've still got quite a way to go, by the sound of it. Pain is exhausting, it's quite true. Can you hang a sign round your neck reading "still getting better, don't push me" or something? It can be hard to get people to be considerate.
(0)
Report

Job application has made me pay attention to my portfolio. Haven't got my portfolio. It's in my old computer which son helpfully whisked off to have it upgraded and hasn't whisked back again yet. And no, reminding me to back up would not be helpful at this stage.

So I have turned to my trusty work journals, which I mainly keep for sentimental reasons and because the doodles in the margin are much more interesting than the records themselves. It's just I hadn't realised how many there are, or how very, very, very long it would take me to summarise them. Oh God. I'll be here 'til Christmas.
(0)
Report

Well even though my problems are trivial in comparison to you all this is my whine for today.

My sister sent me a reply e-mail to one I had sent her but she cc ed all the other siblings in and didn't realize in the previous e-mail trail to me she had called them all a bunch of dumbasses. I spent the evening calling them all and apologizing on her behalf. The main reason being that we are getting together all of us on Saturday and I wasn't looking forward to the tension that would be in the air.

My sister is going through a very rough time with an addicted daughter and a lazy 30 yr. old son still living at home. Not to mention a cheating husband who gives her no emotional support. So I asked everyone to give her some slack. No one seemed to be on board with that but even though what she did was wrong I don't think you should kick a horse when its down.

When did I suddenly become the peacekeeper in the family? I seem to have taken on that role. Oh well. Better than causing problems I suppose.

We delayed having this celebration of my Mom's life cause we were waiting for a plaque to be installed on a bench for her at her favorite park. I wrote out a few words to say at this get-together but I fear I may have to get the pastor to read it. I couldn't even write it without bawling so I doubt if I could read it out loud.

Anyhow, I admire you all for what you do for your Mom's and Dad's everyday. I know its hard for you but I envy you all that you still have them. I miss my Mom so much.
(3)
Report

Oh this forum is a saving grace...... my whine moment today is; Working 60 hours a week, commuting 3 hours a day.....I am tired of doing everything for mother, (only because) of her constant aggressive behavior and nasty demands, telling me; I have to care for her. I want to run away.
(0)
Report

CountyMouse, I like that sign "still getting better, don't push me" which I could really use :) Getting so tired of others getting grumpy or angry because I am not back to normal. Don't worry, I will get even with them at some future point.
(1)
Report

Oh Gershun, you are a kind soul to try to pour oil on the waters your sister has troubled… myself, I'd be squealing with laughter and getting ready to tell people to get over themselves if they take offence - mainly because it's usually me who drops that kind of brick.
(2)
Report

abused there is no such thing as 'have to care' YOU DONT HAVE TO CAREGIVE repeat after me I DONT HAVE TO CAREGIVE.

If however you decide you are you MUST set boundaries of acceptable behaviour. When she is nasty walk away out opf her sight into the garden/garage/loo and just have a moment to yourself and say the mantra I hate this disease I hate this disease. If you stay and take everything she throws at you you will burn out from the effect of it - I keep being told I can't teach mum new tricks but she does seem to be getting the hang of ...if you're nasty to me I am going to disappear for at least 30 minutes she just doesnt know I do it for my own sanity
(2)
Report

OK, go ahead and laugh at me. I bought a 4 drawer cart over the internet from walmart. It said, "4-drawer cart with casters - set of 2" so I thought I was going to get 2 carts. Box came today with 1 cart. Go ahead laugh. Now why would anyone buy a cart with one set of casters? If I didn't need to drink yesterday, I definitely need to today.
(2)
Report

Hey all !!

So today I closed all bank account mom had. I bank at another bank and was grateful this double banking was over. However, I forgot about a CC mom had. I think there was still about 1500.00 left to go. Apparently they used it when they bought this house several years ago. They never use CC and was told use it or lose it! LOL SO, what do I do with mom's CC that money is still owed on? Should I keep paying it? You know.... one would think when one dies it's the end. Of course NOT. So much paperwork involved... jeepers.
(2)
Report

what the heck Shilo? You mean you don't want your cart doing wheelies on 2 wheels down the hallway? You're no fun, chickie. ;-)

Today has been a *little* less hectic than yesterday. Mom's PT came and worked with her a little, but she tires so easily that it's impossible for her to do much. Nurse and OT should be coming tomorrow. Got my new printer hooked up and installed and - miracle of miracles - it works. Started spraying the weeds and unwanted grass with vinegar/salt/soap solution in hopes of getting things cleaned up before Mom's party in a few weeks. Worked on laundry off and on all day, dishes in sink but not done. I think the dishes are breeding in the sink, every time I look there's a few more in there. Sold a few DVDs on FB between yesterday and today, so I'm tucking that money away in a savings account for a rainy day. It's not much, but every little bit will help when I need it.

Been thinking a *lot* about Mom's life insurance lately. Because she hasn't had life insurance until I moved in with her, if something happens to her in the near future, I'm going to have a problem on my hands - her policy will not pay out the full benefit amount for the first 2 years it's in effect - it will only pay the amount of premiums I've paid back to me. So it's entirely possible that I (and my siblings, if I can get them to help) will be left paying for Mom's funeral if she doesn't make it for at least a couple more years. I hate saying that - it sounds so mercenary and hollow - but I'm being realistic here. Her recent health events are forcing me to look at these things in a more urgent light than before. I guess I need to call the funeral home and talk to them about this and see how they handle such cases. I know we're not the only one to ever end up like this.
(2)
Report

I don't have much of a whine today except that the dirty dishes seem to multiply faster than rabbits...every time I think I am done and can take a 5 min. break I turn around and see more work to be done. Same thing with the weeds in the garden...Oh well, keeps me from getting bored I guess...:D !!! Mom seems to be doing better the last couple days and at least isn't getting bored being bedridden.
(1)
Report

Dishes! Weeds! Laundry! Oh My! Sorry I just had to say it. It seems everyone has a problem with them multiplying. Why can't we walk in the door or outdoor and see them vanish? ya, vanish! puff, they are gone.
(0)
Report

Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter