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Well we started July 4th in the UK with a massive firework display courtesy of the skies - the lightning was spectacular no rain just lit up skies. Then today came....having not gone to bed until 1am Mum got up at 6 am and has been naggy all day long. I have stayed out of her way today because she is gunning for a fight. I have a sneaky feeling the Donepezil maybe responsible for it.

You can see it in her face...she didnt like breakfast, didnt want lunch so threw it away, wouldnt drink any of the drinks I made her first time round so had to do fresh one, then we fought over her having something to eat and she eventually agreed she would have soup - dint like the soup! didnt want bread with it, didnt want dessert, did want an ice cream, didnt want the one I got for her so I had that and got her a vanilla one (she doesn't usually want vanilla) and to be nice i put meringue all over it cos she loves meringue....at least she did until today now she doesn't - dear Lord let it rain so that it cools down her and her temper.
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Katie, I just read your comment about the laughing woman. It made me feel better. Why, I don't know. I can see her laughing in my mind. Grins and smiles.
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Jude, maybe all that lightning put some electricity into the air that your Mom is sensitive to causing her mood? She may soon suddenly get very hungry after not eating much and like the foods again...I go through this every couple of days. Just when I think something is going to continue to go over well she suddenly won't eat it!
I too will be glad when Monday comes and the normal work week starts up. These holidays just illustrate how isolated I have become from the rest of the world when I hear of their fun and games. I sure hope nobody asks me what exiting things I did this weekend... I like it when it is a normal workweek and everything is running as it should.
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JessieBelle, I think this lady would be surprised at just how much her laughter coming from that lovely house last night drifted out into the evening and touched us and lifted our spirits. I will remember that and hope that my laughter someday will lift someone else up too. It could be someone just walking by at random like I was.
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(sigh)....Mom was doing better yesterday and this morning was even better, no tears, no sadness. This afternoon, right back to before, only twice as bad. Now she's calling me and crying and saying if I don't take her home, she's going to die from being depressed in there, and if I can just take her out for a ride once in a while....so I repeated the same thing I have been repeating every single day for this whole last week...several times a day....yes, mom I can take you out for rides, I have to get the van ready first....no, Mom I can't take you home, you have to stay where you are safe and they can monitor your health issues....no, Mom I don't want you to die....

That dementia evaluation can't come soon enough.....
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Well, that was interesting. I called the CNA that's on duty, and fortunately, it was the one we deal with most of the time in the evenings. I had her go check on Mom and try to talk to her a bit to try to calm her down, and she ended up taking mom to where there were people - and she brightened right up again. So that's the problem...she absolutely cannot be alone in her room - it kicks her dementia up ten-fold. Once she moves to residential care, she'll have a roommate, but for now, I guess they need to just keep her out of the room.
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I do not whine often but follow discussions here. I am not suitable for human interaction. Four years has taken its toll. Went to an event/party. Did not feel like I had anything in common with these people. A very long four hours as compared to four years. And who should decide to sit by me, probably the oldest man at the party, mobility problems and hearing aids. Do Inow have caregiver tattooed across my forehead? Maybe I should have partaken in those jello shots, just not me any more. And what is it with women and implants?! Do they need them to get attention? Cheapens these women IMHO. If that is needed to get attention I want no part of it. Just very depressed on the entire afternoon kept wondering what the heck am I doing here? Would have been better off to go to the fourth celebration at the facility!
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Glad I understand that completely. Only in my case I worked and felt like I was out of step. if I didnt wear make up that was wrong, If I didn't diet that was wrong, if I didn't colour out the grey in my hair that was wrong I am over 60 ffs I have an eating disorder and highly sensitive skin. Oh and to tip it all off I went out with a black Jamaican guy and that too was wrong (unless they needed me to deal with a complaint from a West Indian in which case I was ALWAYS sent to deal with it)

It is not you who is out of step it is society that is changing for the worse every damned second and I am not alone in thinking I want the world to stop I wanna get off.
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I am just so freaking depressed tonight! I used to enjoy people, now the less I have to do with them the better. And a man?! Never again i this life time the way I feel now. And a friend today said it was a hunting opportunity. Really? I just am not there. Never thought I would see this in myself.
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And on top of the fake boobs, wear sequined ot fluorscent colors to call attention to yourself. Unbelieveable!
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I have really had it!
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Glad...."not fit for human interaction" !!!!! BINGO!!! You hit it right on the head for me too! The very thought of ever dating again almost nauseates me...people irritate me...I can be standing in the line at the grocery these days and someone look at me crosswise or even just look at me, period...and I feel like I am saying "WHAT THE HE!! ARE YOU LOOKING AT" I used to see people like me out in the world and I wondered what the heck happened to them that made them so darn irritable...Now I know...they were caregivers....
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The only fireworks I have set off tonight were brought about when the redneck jackass up the street decided he would start his festivities early...So some of my cats were still enjoying the afternoon and all of a sudden BOOM! Off goes the CANNON...and it is indeed a homemade cannon he built himself..and you can feel the earth shake when he fires it off...The poor cats scattered like toots in a tornado... I just got back from finally getting them all in except the one who refuses to come in but she is in the basement where she likes it so she is IN, she just doesn't want to be in the house house....BUT....prior to getting them in, I was frantically searching for them...and did I mention I had just gotten Mama settled down and snoozing and so of course the noise woke her up and got her all shook up and this SOB KNOWS of her condition.he just doesn't give a crap...Anywho...I drifted or rather stomped up the street and, using BOTH hands, gave him the middle finger salute on both hands while dancing around as if to punctuate the guesture...I almost wish he had come down and started something so I could have worked out this hostility...do people not realize they are dealing with a hornets nest when they push a worn out caregivers buttons???
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Katie, regarding laughing carefree... when I found this site, I was going through severe depression. I vented and vented all over this site, in different threads. In the meantime, I was learning so much. (I found this site by Googling on how to take care of 2 bedridden elderly people --- being my parents.) Months later after venting all my anger, bitterness and resentment towards God, the world, especially my siblings - I was shocked when I found My Humor. One day, I was walking with lightness - and never realized until then, how much I lost when caregiving mom all those years. My family did not understand what I was going through. Yet here, online, I found fellow sufferers, strugglers, etc... I can promise you this, that one day, when you least expect it, you will find that true carefree laughter bubbling up - and not the fake social laughter/smile that we present to the world.

Jude - why would UK celebrate the July 4th? Is there a UK holiday that exists the same date as the Americans Independence Day (from the UK!!!)? I'm just puzzled....
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Glad, that's how I feel when I now attend these business social functions. Now that mom has passed away, I no longer have the excuse to boss that I cannot attend. When I attend, everyone is so up to date on the Kardashians, current singers/bands, etc... I'm just so lost and have no interest in it. We have nothing in common. And those who attend are not really caregivers. They don't want to talk about their aging parents. Visiting their parents is sufficient. Their sibs are the main caregiver. They don't want to discuss anything to tweak their conscience.

I can't give you pointers since I'm still struggling with that one.
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Kardashians?! We need a puke button!
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what a predictable mess for me . my helpers landlord thinks its ok for his graying dog to threaten me with bodily damage . it IS NOT ok . it escalated to the point that he crammed me off of a country road today and punched me in the face two times . fk you punk animal loving people . i will be filing criminal assault charges tomorrow morning . it is not ok for your brain dead animals to threaten humans . its insulting and unacceptable . this animal has an EQ / IQ of 4 . mine smacks of 160 + . i think somebody is going to jail over his ignorance and it isnt me .
im canning spiced beets for the next 24 months . im a little smarter than that ahole dog ..i despise you for unconditionally defending ignorant animals . WTF? indeed ..
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Well I thought I had a wonderful time today until my mom started throwing up after she took the AZO. Called the nurse on duty who was also the nurse who came yesterday. He said that it was probably because she took it on an empty stomach. So I talked to her about eating something light like a banana or toast. She had the banana and then a little later took it and was fine. The. She had a peanut butter sandwich and was fine. At dinner time, I made white rice, pork and gravy and green beans and told her she could have the rice if she didn't feel ok, but the meal was leftovers from a meal we ate day befor yesterday. She ate a little bit of everything and took the AZO and then about a 1/2 hour later she threw up again! Gotta call the nurse back
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Hi Book we aren't proud over here....we'll celebrate anything!!!!!!: Yom Kippur, Ramadan, Eid, Summer Solstice , Valentine’s Day, Rosh Hashana, Hanukah, Christmas, Easter, Bastille Day ,Diwali, We actually don't celebrate 4th July but last night the sky did for us started about midnight ..... a full on lightning display.
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Captain, don't blame the ignorant dog, blame the asshole owner who never trained the dog properly. A dog is not the most intelligent creature so he takes his cue from the person who owns him. U fortunately this poor creature got stuck with a moron! I see it all the time. Shelters are full of unwanted pitbulls so what do sleaze buckets around here do? Breed them in their backyard and the. Try to sell them on Facebook!
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I agree with Sharadale...Captain..it is not the dogs fault...and especially if he is aging...he probably is getting hard of hearing seeing etc. so is easier to startle and feel threatened..His idiot OWNER should protect him and not put him in harms way...you might as well despise me too because I have spent my life defending God's innocent creatures....and they are innocent....don't blame the dog, blame the owner. If there's one thing we all should know on this site...most people are clueless morons...
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I'm becoming such a wuss in my old age. LOL I went out to sit on the deck and watch fireworks, drink in one hand, beef stick and cheese in the other, and was driven back inside within 10 minutes by the stupid mosquitos. I sat inside, in air conditioned comfort, drink in one hand, snacks in the other, dog at my feet and cat sitting straight up in the air like a meercat, watching the fireworks through the front door. LOL

Mom was better tonight when I went to see her. I just love that one CNA who seems to love her work and will do just about anything for Mom, but without indulging her - she makes her get up and walk as long as she is able. She assured me that she would talk to the nurse to make sure Mom is out of her room as much as possible and around other people to keep her from getting depressed.

Got all the stuff for her birthday party tomorrow - we'll have it on the patio at the NH and have a flag cake (sponge cake slices smothered in crushed berries, then topped with whipped cream with a US flag made of strawberries and blueberries on top of that. For all the running around in the store I did tonight, I still forgot a birthday card. Guess that's a task for tomorrow.
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Captain chill out!! I agree with Sharadale and Hope. And lay off Jeanette will ya. She doesn't mindlessly do anything. She is a kind, intelligent lady and she doesn't go on here and insult people.
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My mother passed away this morning, rejoining my father...her one true love.
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Susan, I am glad that getting your Mom out of her room helps her mood. I know this helped my Mom when she was in the NH for rehab to see other residents.
Sharadale, I hope your Mom feels better soon and they can find a medicine that she can tolerate. There are so many medications that can be used if one does not work well. Hope she feels better soon!
Glad, You were brave to go to that party. I would feel absolutely the same way you do about it! I get angry at all the frivolity and how people waste their precious time with cr*p, talking about the Karcrashians etc. I have become fairly isolated because I just cannot wrap my head around what other people find so important and especially hate the bragging.
I also find that once someone is labeled as a caregiver some people think that is what you are here to do for the whole world...not just your loved one.It is as though they think you are a functioning object here to do only one thing much like a broom or a mop, and not a person with other interests or hopes and dreams. I have really had to learn to use the word "NO" for people asking for favors....not one of these people has done anything to help me during this time, so it has been easy to say no, and some people I know have just run away entirely anyhow!
Captain, sorry about your encounter with the dog, but the dog is only as good as it's owner and this guy sounds like a very bad pet owner. Jeanette is being what this guy is not, and that is a caring responsible pet owner. All people should be this way with their pets and there would be no trouble.
I will be glad the holiday is over with. The loud banging is nerve wracking for pets and many people too. They have made signs available for combat veterans with PTSD to put in their yards asking people to be courteous with the explosives...Unfortunately in our "me me me first" society people are often not considerate of anyone but what they want to do for immediate gratification.
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Oh Shilo. Are you okay, sweetie? What happened? Come back when you're ready, huge hugs to you meanwhile xxx
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Shilo, I just now saw your post! You are in my thoughts and prayers and we are all here for you!
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Shilo love and prayers.
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Thank you everyone. I am too numb to say or do anything right now. Too much happened to complete in a brief post. I need to decide whether to rent a car and drive 650 miles where my mother will rest or fly. I have never been on a plane. I have a piece of cartilage near my jaw pressing on the inner ear cannel. Can't see me flying and I can't see me driving the distance alone either. My mother will rest next to my father. It will be the one last thing I do for her...for both of them.
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