My "whine moment today." What's yours?

Luckylu, so sorry that you were spoken to with such insensitivity, when you needed the most comforting words and support. I'm sure she didn't mean it as such, she is probably just has a mater of fact personality, and is in the wrong line of work. My hospice experience was pretty good, once we learned the ropes. Being retired, I also wear my PJ's almost all day, unless I "know" we are going to have company, or am going out, but I often get caught, by a sister popping in, or one of the kids, or the JW folks. They are none to pretty, just leggings and an old oong sleeved tee shirt. I know, so Not sexy!

It's almost 7am and wish it was my "WINE" moment now!

luckylu, Would it be possible to talk to someone at the hospice company about the nurse's insensitivity? Do you have a case worker or social worker assigned to you? My case worker is to come once a month to see how things are going and I can call her too. Hospice has been compassionate for us so far..
I have had so many incidents in the past year of people saying very infuriating things to me...usually it was physical therapists, and if I ever run into those people in the grocery store they had better not be in the produce section where there are nice soft mushy tomatoes......I did have one physical therapist taken off my Mom's case and reported what she said to her boss. This woman obviously hated her job and it showed by stupid utterances without her thinking first . She even questioned my Mom's right to Medicare!

That's what I am saying Katie....the Hospice folks are there for your loved one AND for the caregiver .....you're not held hostage by these folks...I had to get vocal with the people at our first one and finally when I had to get vocal about THEIR decision to NOT relieve the pain from Mama's abcessed tooth, I got on the phone that day, I called a new Hospice provider and asked them was it possible to change to a new one and if so how...THEY handled all of it and it was done that same day. Sometimes you don't have to change providers, just tell the folks in charge what is going on maybe it's just not a good fit...maybe it's a callous person who is just insensitive period...I'm pretty sure the folks in management want to know it...I can tell you I would rather be without hospice altogether than have to deal with one who is not caring for my loved ones needs and/or being disrespectful to me...Not trying to be a know it all or bossy, just know what I went through and how long I put up with it and oh the joy when, in one days' time it was all changed and done and thank God for it....our first one wasn't even providing the supplies they were supposed to ...and when you get the quarterly billing recap you will see they get paid pretty well for their services..hugs to you lucky

Well, all that being said about taking things on myself and my next whine is my next door neighbor's 8 year old child, who began to pay us almost constant visits upon the arrival of my new puppy. She is a very intelligent, sweet child, but also very headstrong. I don't have children and I am not really into disciplining anyone else's.....these are basically wonderful neighbors, but this child can sometimes begin to wear on my nerves when I get frazzled as I have been lately..The other day she came over and had enticed another neighbors small dog into her yard..I know because I saw her go down the hill and get her. The she proceeded over to our house with the dog and promptly let it eat all the cats food from the front and back bowls...afterwards, she decided it might be fun to allow the dog to run at my cats...my cats are bigger than she is so I knew my cats weren't in danger from the dog, but she was running them all over the yard and into the street so I calmly told the child, sweety, please take the dog back to your house, she's running my cats into the street and I just don't want any of them getting hurt...the child was just laughing and having a ball, acted like she didn't hear a word I said.

Then one of my cats got fed up and slapped the fire out of the dog and the child got right in between them and started saying "no no, you crazy puppy, you are so adorable"...I could see what was going to happen because my cat was just getting that "I'm about to tear the dog and the kid up" look in her eyes...so I told the child..sweety, the cat is not happy, please stop ...again, in one ear and out the other...I told her again....(crickets singing in the background) and finally I told her, just let the puppy go back to her home. I can't deal with any more animals here dear...and she just kept instigating the situation.so I told her OK, Im going back inside the dog will go home if you just let her go and I started in the door and she turned the dog loose so it could come in with me...I took my foot and lifted the dog and sat it back and did kind of yell by then "NO".go home...at that point the child promptly picked up the dog and went home and gave me a go to He!! look like you wouldn't believe...Her parents have not spoken to me since I hate it. and I don't know what to do.....I know how people are about their kids and to be honest, it is the same way I am about my pets....but I guess what I am getting at is I can't even handle a youngster barking orders at me...I feel incompetent at every social situation on the planet these days....

I swear I was at no time rude or hateful..I have seen other folks be literally rude and yell at them...and that didn't seem to be a problem...so I finally have my fill and say "NO go home" and I am ousted for life....

At the risk of sounding like "woe is me"...I swear I feel sometimes like my main purpose in life is being a doormat......

May I also add that these are the same neighbors who neglected their poor labrador puppy and I personally paid to have her spayed because they wouldn't...they never cared for her, I fixed their fence repeatedly because the dog kept getting out and I did not ask one thing in return...I was happy to do it because I love animals and felt bad for the dog...also years back one of their dogs almost killed one of Mama's beloved cats...and I paid almost $5,000 in vet bills to save him over the course of a year and did not ask for one dime...just calmly told them what happened and please be sure their dog stayed in the fence...I never got angry at them...I don't get it.......

I'm sorry..I am seeing I am guilty of writing one of those "novel" type posts this morning....I tried to at least make it the readers digest version... :)

Not to worry, Hope. No one was referring to you. Long and articulate doesn't bother me. Many long things I don't read if they aren't relevant to my situation, but that is me and not anything the person is doing wrong.

BTW, I did read your dog and cat story and enjoyed it. Kid sounds like he/she learned disrespect from Mom and Dad.

hope22, I have one of those cats who has a lot of patience but out of the blue will slap the head of one of the other cats, like she's had enough and remembered something that other cat earlier on.... it is so interesting watching how they interact.

I don't have any children, either.... and I tend to discipline them the same as I do my pets :P One time two young boys who were playing in the hall in my office building found themselves running through our office [we keep the office door open] and I found myself saying "shoo, come on, go" and within a second they left. And didn't return. I used my pet voice which makes my cats get wide eyed.

Lol...shoo..get..love it. .think I'll try that next time. ...i really dint want to hurt folks feelings. .especially children. .because she doesn't realize she's being annoying I'm sure. .but my patience level is low right now so i don't give a lot of gentle warnings before I've had it.

I did sir on the deck this morning with the pup..several of my furtots came around and i am slowly trying to help them see were all in this together. ..

I appreciate all the good feedback from you all.Thanks for caring.We are on our 5th Hospice nurse since Mother was placed on Hospice July 12,2012,3 years ago tomarrow.We had the first one for 16 months and then there were all these government changes and they let her go.Last October 2014,the Hospice suddenly said Mother no longer qualified which was total B.S. so we appealled the decision with The Quality Improvement Organization and we won the appeal and on Halloween Day they sent a new mean nurse probably because they were mad they didnt win.We would request a new nurse and should have a long time ago but its a sticky situation because the bathaid that Mother loves so much is best friends with this nurse.We never dreamed Mother would get so much extra time on earth with us so we thought we would just get through it and as far as being a qualified nurse,she is.She just says the wrong things all the time and has no bedside manner.She will be on vacation for the next 2 weeks so hopefully well get some nicer substitutes.

Maybe the nurse who fills in for the current one will be much better and it could open a window for you to say. ."so and so has been so good with my Mom. .would it be possible to keep her" just thinking out loud

hm...I missed the complaint about "novel" posts - they were probably referring to me. Sorry if I tend to get long-winded, but like many of you, I don't have much of anyone else to talk to - and definitely no one that understands the caregiver game like you all do, so if I tend to get long-winded on here, chalk it up to isolation and the frustrated writer in me begging to come out and play.

No, not you either, Susan. The kind of posting I was referring to was the confusing type. Say, we were talking about a dog having fleas. One person says Advantage works. Another person chimes in with their favorite being Revolution. Then someone comes in and says their cat has ears turned backward and fleas don't get in the ears, so they took a trip to Canada.

Oh... huh??

Hope, same thing happens to me, as children and pets will visit often.
It became a nuisance when one grandchild (could not hear)? even fell off his bike in front of my home, regularly, and on purpose! Turns out he did not speak english. I often stay in the house to avoid issues of having to ask them to go home. Another way to look at it is, devoid of supervision and rules, these children really need a good influence in their lives. However, we can never correct those children, so we are damned if we do, damned if we do not.
Keep posting, if it is too long, we will read it later when there is more time. At least you got it out there, maybe your words can help someone else. I was starting to feel like the only lonely child magnet.

LOL Jessebelle! LOL!
You could not be referring to me, because I've never been to Canada.

I don't have a dog a cat noisy or difficult neighbours oh and I don't have fleas. I just think as I get older I don't take the sh1t that people want to hand out.

I was at the store today I asked the woman loitering at the checkout ...are you in the queue - she didn't seem to speak English but with a lot of arming waving and saying the word no I assumed perhaps she wasn't. I moved in front of her and up rolls hubby who's English was brilliant compared to hers but not brilliant compared to most English people. You insult my wife by taking her place........well Im sorry it's been a bad week and Im not in the best of moods food shopping has that effect on me.

Oh and he had the nerve to point his finger at me with every word oh so so bad an idea.

I turned, very slowly and said.....my dear sir I have no intentions of taking your wife's place - I am very happily divorced and I find it insulting that you would think I would take your wife's place when you are both so clearly well suited to each other so she has no need to be insulted does she.

You know confused dot com look that comes over a person's face when you have not answered them in the way they expected. A few people behind me sniggered and he was just very red in the face...did I let them go first? did I h*ell as like!

Sorry that was waaaaaay of topic but I needed to vent xxxxx

PS dontcha just love the way the English language allows us to address things in a totally different way to that which was intended?

Illustrated by nothing better, Jude, than the World Service's top ranked untranslatable joke of all time, viz. -

Diner: Waiter, what's the special today?
Waiter: It's bean soup, sir.
Diner: I don't care what it's been, what is it now?

Cue anglophones worldwide rolling around and squealing with laughter while people with sensible languages wonder what's got into them...

lolololol love it CM

Yes CM that reminds me of the story
Man farts (breaks wind)
Man next to him says excuse me do you realise you just farted in front of my wife
Oh sorry I didn't know it was her turn

I am looking for fork Handles
so the man takes him to the grading section and shows him a selection of fork handles
no no I want 4 candles

Love the British humor.... whenever one of you writes something funny I always picture Hugh Grant saying the words :) How I wish he would make more movies.

It's funny you should be thinking that, FF, because my thoughts were flowing in the opposite direction - watching Wimbledon, I was fantasising about messaging John McEnroe on Twitter and saying if I sent him the right-sized plastic bag could he please stick it over the English commentators' heads so that we could just listen to him instead. He, Tracy Austin, Pam Shriver and Peter Fleming, and Andy Roddick, all a) have illuminating and interesting things to say about the tennis and b) have all actually won something important, ever, in stark contrast to their English counterparts. I'm wondering if we can steal their passports so that they can't leave the country once Wimbledon is over, and then distribute them around the BBC so that we can have intelligent people reporting on sport. And other topics too - why not?

John McEnroe is particularly endearing because of his reformation over the years after a prickly beginning to his relationship with the UK back in the eighties - truly there is more joy in heaven over one sinner that repenteth kind of thing. Not that he repents, exactly; it's more that now that he is older and wiser he can also see the other point of view too. He is even using cricket metaphors, and using them accurately, mark you - no small accomplishment for anyone who wasn't brought up on five day Test matches.

Well, out of character, our Chaplain calls today. He actually called at a time when I needed to vent...and I did. I got it all out of my system. Feeling much better now....Infact, seeing how much better that made me feel and for a change, not getting blown away for talking about it, I finally felt some much longed for validation. Feeling much calmer now.

Good Afternoon ladies!

I like reading most of the "novel" posts. Most of today's posts had me in stiches laughing!! It's wonderful to see a sense of humor when going through such a difficult time. GO GIRLS!

My favorite clothing is those summer dresses from Walgreens. $12.99 a piece so I've bought 5 of them. They are so comfortable. Heck, many times I've went to sleep in one and hey, woke up already dressed for the day!! LOL!!! Yip, sad but true :)

Susan, your ant escapade reminded me of my spider elimination yesterday. So, this giant black scary looking spider had taken residence in the screen door in front. Every time I opened it there it was....just looking to pounce on me. I was looking for it yesterday to annihilate it, sheesh, I was scared to use my front door! Found it at the bottom of the door, inside it's woven nest with a kathousand eggs in it... gads!! I frantically searched for some kind of bug spray, found nothing but spray paint... I didn't think tuning it "summer blue" was going to annihilate them so I turned to the gas can...so, with a small cup of gas in hand, a lighter and the water hose turned on, I was ready for total annihilation of mom and her kathousand kids. Poured the gas and OMG it was like a tidal wave of baby black spiders and a frantic mom, I braved up and lit a tiny piece of paper, tossed it and WOOOOSH, all movement stopped and I could hear a crackling sound.. grabbed my water hose so I wouldn't burn down my house, LOL, put the little fire out and washed them all away (shudder) Oh the lengths we go to get rid of creepy crawlies!! LOL

CM and Jude, all I can say is LOL LOL you two and your play with words is hilarious! Love it. Makes me smile every time :)))

I think it is a British thing we love to use a play on words and it forms a huuuuge part of our comedy and especially situation comedy. A lot of people don't 'get it' as it were and that just makes it funnier. I have a dear Scottish friend who would quite openly admit she doesn't 'get' humour and she doesn't bless her but just now and again she comes out with the funniest expression that have us all in stitches - the sad thing is she doesn't understand she has said something funny.

Example:

She worked for the military as an administrator in what we call hatches matches and dispatches - births marriages and deaths and her role also dealt with servicemen (and women) who were dismissed from the services for whatever reason. She came home one day and her hubby was over at our house having a drink with my now ex - they weren't drunk they had only had one can of beer each. She said you won't believe what two guys were dismissed for today! Well actually in those days it was pretty easy to determine what they were dismissed for but hey we let her tell the story. She followed it by saying they were dismissed for philately - well I fell off the chair with laughter and we told her we thought she might mean fellatio - well they're the same thing aren't they - over to you hubby - you explain it while we wipe away the tears of laughter

I had to look up philately before chuckling. Never heard the word before.