My "whine moment today." What's yours?

Jude, something I've learned with Brit friends is they have a hard time with American wit. Sarcasm is popular here. Also silly character assassinations -- things like saying "Brits! What can you say?" Americans know that it is totally good natured and actually complimentary to be playing back and forth, but people from England can get very offended. Never understood it. I guess that sarcasm and word volleying are not done so much in the UK.

I love sarcasm as much as the next person. I just can't use it against my mom,so much material there, as it is considered verbal aggression and therefore possibly could be called abuse blah blah blah so much for the politically correct aspect. I made a big blunder this AM,I have a big mouth. Mom has over her left eye what I now suspect is the beginning of shingles,well,when I was examining her eye I unfortunately spoke my thoughts out loud. You would have thought I said she had leprosy.I could have just literally put my shoe in my mouth, why oh why did I say shingles out loud?! Now I have to make it until Monday to get her to an MD meanwhile Lady Astor has called her entire Sunday School class and is informing me of what I "need to be doing".Had to explain to her yes there is a shot for it now but that it is NOT a cure and since she is on 300 mg of morphine a day,yeah you read that right, pain wasn't really an issue.Keeping eye drops every 2 hours in her eye, the sclera(white of eye) is clear and no drainage but she will definitely need to see either the dermatologist or ophthmalogist Monday.What's even better is now my husband can't remember if he had the chickenpox as a kid,as a precaution I am keeping him away from her,I have had the chickenpox.Can't wait until the locusts and frogs get here.

I should add that the silver lining to the possible shingles is that mom has now totally forgotten about the rest of her furniture I finally got out of my den,hooray for little victories.

Hey Tex, WOW 300 mgs?? You'd think she would be knocked out on that amount... bummer eh? ;)

She got up to this amount over a 3 year span ,she isn't bed bound at all, and her short term memory is pretty good despite the morphine( it's for her osteoarthritis).

I wonder if the morphine has something to do with her attitude? or was she always so demanding? She really runs you through the ringer...

oh Tex, I hope your Mom feels better soon - Dad had shingles IN his eye - inside the eyelid and all around it. I can't even imagine.

Well, here goes another "novel". LOL Feel free to skip if you want, I just feel like chatting.

Oh my gosh, Jeanette, Jude and CM, you all are setting me laughing over here today. Much needed humor. Not sure if I've told the story of the spider I sent to his glory with furniture polish or the mouse I washed and dried with the laundry...always good for a chuckle. Fiction's got nothing on real life sometimes.

I have had an incredibly productive day around the house. No projects completed, but a few started and great progress made. Been taking a break every other hour or so from work and spending 15-20 minutes doing various things around the house. Started cleaning out Dad's old room, which has been a repository for anything I didn't have a place for since I moved in 2 years ago. For a while, it looked like an episode of Hoarders in that room. Good thing the rest of the house didn't look like that. Found things I forgot I had in there.

Started boxing up toys and gift items to send to the grandkids and my daughter, since I rarely see them these days - the kids will outgrow the things I've had on hand for them before I get to see them, so might as well send them over to them. Maybe some of the items can be put away by their parents for future bday or Christmas gifts - might help them financially to not have to buy too much for the next holiday or bday. I'll reserve one gift per grandchild to be given at Christmas this year, because that will help *me* financially.

We won't be having the big family Christmas party anymore, because I'm the one that hosted it and absorbed most of the expense - and that's just not possible anymore. We'll have a small party at the NH so Mom can be involved, but that's it. So the tote full of "prizes" for the kid/adult games we played at the parties is going to be sorted and some of it sold as a box lot on Ebay - the rest will go to the NH as prizes for their Bingo games, which Mom enjoys. Makes me feel good that they will be able to use them.

I've washed, dried, folded and put away 4 batches of laundry - not all clothes, but blankets, rugs and such.

Started making decisions on things to sell, because I've started crunching numbers to see how the next year is going to play out financially without Mom's income here at home, and it's not pretty. So things are going to start being sold, but only my things or things that my sibs agree are ok to sell - they all understand that I'm in a bind here, since things changed so rapidly with Mom's health. I don't know too many people that could deal with losing 1/2 the household income every month with no warning. Something's gotta give. Once I get done sorting things here at home and selling whatever I can, I'll start working on my storage unit and selling whatever is possible in there. Every little bit helps. Also going to be considering increasing my workload a bit, because my current income is just not going to cut it.

Taking Mom out to breakfast tomorrow. I hope I can get her to eat something substantial. All she's been eating lately is a few bites of this, a few bites of that. Just no appetite and pretty depressed. Headed up to see her in a bit, hopefully she's gotten some sleep - she had another bad night last night.

Crumbs, Tex, can it wait 'til Monday? How far away is the nearest medic? Nasty, shingles along that pathway - my poor former neighbour had a heck of a time with it.

Just to update, yes mother has always been demanding of me,I always fell short of the glory of (mother's name)very narcissistic woman. She really isn't feeling any pain just knows her eye feels "puffy". Yes, shingles can be VERY painful and I am even more concerned as it is around her eye.I believe we can make it to Monday because as there is no cure only treatment probably with oral antivirals and topicals for pain,itching.Now I have to make sure her oncologist is aware,make sure she is using her eye drops every 2 hours,try to get an appt Monday as a walk in so I know where I will be Monday.I am just venting, every time I think I have her patched up another leak starts.

I also apologize for even saying anything. My problems aren't really problems compared to the many posts I have read on here. I read all these posts because it helps me keep my situation in perspective when I start to feel overwhelmed.To all of those who have recently lost their loved ones I am so sorry for your loss ,please be good to yourself and hugs to you all.

Hey texarkana if it bothers you then its a problem. I used to always trivialize my problems cause they weren't as bad as other people had it. But I've learned to not do that cause its all relative right?

I'm glad to have this place to whine, so I can unload without further burdening my SO. He's doing an amazing job tolerating dad, who is nasty to him, mostly in passive-aggressive ways. Yesterday it was taking SO's laundry out of the dryer wet, and putting it in a basket in the living room.

Right now the two weeks till our return visit to the senior clinic feels like a very long time. Dad says he feels like his mind is getting worse day to day, and sadly I have to say it looks the same. He came out of the drug store this afternoon pushing a cart (with his one-item purchase), stopped at the car and said "I thought I took my cane in with me, but I can't find it." It was in the cart, right in front of him.

Why cant people smile these days?I loaded up Mother,her oxygen,wheelchair.etc. and took her to a flea market where we used to have a booth years ago.I thought the people that are still working there would be glad to see Mother and that she was still alive,but they could have cared less.I did find a neat piece to go with my Little LuLu collection though and I was able to get Mother out from these 4 walls.Due to the heat,I walk her around the block after dinner when it gets cooler.Anyway........

Awh Tex... it doesn't matter, like Gershun said, if it bothers you, it is a problem. You've been dealing with this for a long time...plus at her age, there isn't any "patching" her up. I feel your frustration in your words...Monday will be here soon enough, I'm sure she'll be fine. Don't apologize. I've found that venting on here, is so therapeutic for me...even though mom is no longer here with me, :( I still have things that is hard to deal with. Keep posting and keep us informed :)

Tex, I especially like the mental image of another leak springing up the second you've deal with the last one. Yes, exactly - and incredibly demoralising it is, too.

On a positive note its not blistering hot anymore. So I can sleep without my thighs sticking together (sorry for the visual image). Also I can blowdry my hair without my bangs sticking to my sweaty forehead. My chocolate bar can sit in the cupboard and not melt.

See, I'm trying to be positive......:)

Oh I thought of another one. I don't have to have my AC blasting away all fricking day so I have to put the t.v. on at full volume to hear it. Thats a plus. My cat doesn't sleep in the tub anymore so I don't slip on her cat hair when I have a shower.

Gershun, OMG, it sounds like you live with me!!! Apparently, you have one of those portable A/C's. Lord knows I turn my TV up so I can hear over the hummmm.....I turn the A/C off at bedtime, and OMG the TV is so loud I swear the neighbors can hear it. Same applies in my bedroom... yes, it's cooled off but we have a situation coming our way. There is the BLOB which is going to collide with El Nino. They have no clue what's going to happen. How fun.

Speaking of skin sticking together, before I got the A/C's I used to see these tiny circle like bruises on my under arms, you know, where the bat wings are?...well, come to find out it is because of the sticking, LOL, I realized it last week while sticking on the floatie in the pool.

On another note... started going through moms room. I can smell her in her clothes...

Oh Jeanette thats funny!! The blob and El Nino. LOL

I'm thinking of you going through your Mom's things.:(
Take your time.

Fortunately for me we did most of that when we transitioned Mom to the nursing home. I've got all the pictures though. Its funny I've offered several times to have a sit-down with the family where we could all go through them and select which ones we want. No one seems interested. Maybe they all realize I should have them. Who knows.

Jeanette my thoughts are with you. I have a stuffed dog that my mom used to love in the nursing home but sadly it doesn't smell like her anymore. I used to hold it to my nose every night.

Bless your hearts...going through your Mom's things...I know that is difficult to say the least...so heartwrenching. Mama has so many thinngs here, and it 's one reason I still have most of my things in the boxes, exactly as they were when I moved them last AUGUST..good grief...but I just can't bring myself to let her things go....even though she'll never wear those clothes again...so many of them still have tags on them. I had gone shopping for her just before her fall and bought her a lot of pretty things and I remember how excited she was when we went through them...she never even got to wear them....

Mama hasn't felt good today and I see it in her eyes. I even had to give her morphine late this afternoon because she was not resting and said she felt bad...for Mama to say she feels bad is like me saying I have an ax in my head...she never complains, so for her to actually say it, I knew she was hurting...the morphone seems to have helped..for now...I hate when she feels bad...

I did get her to actually eat a cup of the really good vanilla ice cream today..she enjoyed that...I hope that didn't upset her tummy..since she's not really used to ice cream anymore...

Still feeling uplifted after talking to the chaplain this morning. He was so nice and it was helpful venting to him about things that have been bothering me...at least I feel better about those things....as it turns out Mama's nurse had talked to him becase she was worried about me...he said he wanted me to know how much they all had come to care about not only Mama but me as well. It mattered...a LOT....I don't feel all alone anymore...

So sorry hope :( My mother loved her ice cream as well... even when I gave it to her in a tiny syringe. Bless her heart. It's so hard when your loved one feels bad and you can't quite get them to articulate on what is hurting...

Gershun, the "Blob" thing is true. Our waters are 7 - 10 degrees warmer than normal, Salmon and trout are dying and washing ashore as they are being cooked? Anyway, the "Blob" is the giant area of warm water, El Nino is supposed to collide with it and bring us "different" weather... or like last winter, no winter at all. Since you're not too far away, you might get some of it as well.

There were a few tears but more special smiles going through mom's things...her blingy visor caps ( at least 10 ) her colorful socks ( I will keep ) ...ahhh. All of her pj's are ones that I have sent her throughout the years or ones that I brought with me and let her wear. Those have her smell in them...after her bathaide finished with her she was dusted in her favorite powder (her mother's/my grandmother's) well, after bath I would get her dressed and hang her pj's back up. Guess I will keep those too. For now at least.

hope, your not alone, no matter what, you still have us. :)

OH, on a positive note.... did you know Netflix has "how to train your dragon" as a series?? I've grown to LOVE animated movies because mom really couldn't watch much else..... hehehe, who am I kidding, I loved them before :)

Jeanette I really thought you were joking about the Blob and El Nino. Really? Wow!
As if we don't have enough to worry about. Jeeze.

I wish I had kept my Mom's pajamas and things. Since thats pretty much all she wore during her last year. Oh well.

One thing I kept of hers is these little ceramic kittens drinking out of a little pail of milk.I remember buying it for her when I was little for her birthday. She always had it on a little shelf above her kitchen sink. This was the one thing of hers I wanted most for some reason.

Thanks Jeanette....I know I'll continue on, because I don't really have a choice do I?...but life sure is going to be different on down the road.

I wish I could get my one other kitty in..I can't go to bed until I get her in...and she is playing with me tonight....I get so frustrated...but I dare not leave her out because that's what happened to my sweet Ellie who never came home again...and I fear the worst...sadly...so here I go. sometimes I wonder what the neighbors think when they see me out in the wee hours in my pjs running through the yard, sitting on the driveway..doing whatever it takes to get one to come in....sweet dreams ladies...and gentlemen..if there are any of the latter on here....I guess the Captain is mia again..

Hope,, did the kitty get in? I live in my pj's too, as soon as the health aide or nurse leave...that or just t-shirts and sweatpants. I actually dress up to go to the drugstore or grocery....by putting on jeans. That is as good as it gets right now.
Jeanette, those dresses sound so comfortable. I am happy with soft comfortable things right now. The BLOB? haha...wasn't that a drive in movie from the late 1950's starring Steve McQueen?! There was also a song out called the Blob by a band called the 5 Blobs, I believe.....must have been a one time song. You had no Winter and this side of the country had a bad Winter. The weather is crazy. Still lots of overcast days and rain over here. Lots of weeds and mosquitos too.
I am so tired. I wonder at times how this can just go on and on, and then I remind myself to stay the course and take it a day at a time, find happiness in the little things each day.

The backbone of my wardrobe is tshirts from walmart and shorts right now.I don't even own any makeup,my mother on the other hand.Every morning she lays out her makeup ,and what is it with old women and fire engine red lipstick?,OMG, the first morning I saw her when she was dying her eyebrows ,unbelieveable,scared the h*ll out of me.I told her what if she was doing that and I had to call the EMTs for something, did she want to go to the ER like that( I was joking with her, I sometimes try to meet her halfway).She is very serious about her makeup routine, I make sure she is taken shopping at least once a week by my friend(who is paid) to go shopping and out to eat.She buys Chanel and I use Deep Woods OFF.

tex yep know that one well she shops in the nicest shops I shop in the cheapest ones. I have to buy food from our more expensive stores for her but I buy from the markets for me. I feel quite worthless at times and at others I think you know what Im OK. Just that the former seems to take precedence over the latter

Ugh. I'd put off calling a friend back because I knew she would annoy me, and I didn't want to be annoyed with her, but she's off to visit her 95 year old mother tomorrow so it had to be tonight or not at all… and she really annoyed me. Lost count of the number of times I had to change the subject, bite my tongue or just keep doodling in the newspaper margins and let what she was saying wash over me. Her mother lives in an ILF on an offshore island and has only recently been persuaded to accept a caregiver coming in once a day to help with breakfast and dressing. We all know how long that takes on its own, right? But my friend expects the entire apartment to be vacuumed, the dishes washed, the shopping done, the evening meal prepared and a bath taken at least three times a week; all in the same two hour time slot; and then grumbles about the £15K = c. $23K annual price tag. And makes no allowances for the - to you and me, anyway - obvious problem that the mother doesn't *want* the caregiver bustling about and getting into her business. And then my friend complains, contrarily, that the caregiver is taking too close an interest in the potted plants - which her mother probably *does* want help with. And anyway the whole thing makes me very cross and very tired of her. Ugh.

Thank you. Better now.

Hope, my cat usually comes in around 9 pm as he's aging and not a party animal any more.... but there are times where he will walk to the door and sit down outside, won't budge.

Well, out comes the clothes-line rope, it takes a few tries of dragging it on the floor from the door into the room... then me quickly closing the door while the cat pounces on the rope before he realizes the door is now shut and want to dart out for another hour or two. Then I have to run that rope around the inside of the house a few times to make a game out of it, then my other two cats join in. At my age, this is tiring :P

texarkana, Deep Woods Off, thanks for the chuckle LOL :)

Ok, my whine.... once in awhile someone new will post a question complaining about his/her elderly parents.... and the parents are in their 60's. Does that make your head want to explode? I am pushing 70 and no way do I feel I am even near the *elderly* category.

Even my orthopedic doctor said to me "not to offend you, but you are a little old lady", this was regarding breaking bones. Yikes, it wasn't that long ago I was a gym rat and could hike 20 miles on a weekend :P