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No..Mama has SS and her VA benefit and she does not qualify for Medicaid. Her income is good, thank God...my thing is i refuse to pay $4800a year for insurance when i spend on average. .maybe $600/yr on all my medical. .I'd rather pay the penalty. ..
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Well, they just came and did the required chest xrsy and the social worker already had the info she needed so all we need is to rule out cdiff..the nurse and aid do not think it is. ..maybe I'm just so worn out it just smells worse than usual
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Oh ..Susan....wanted to clarify. .i wasnt meaning to imply i thought it was faulty caregiving on behalf of our hospice. .but me. ..i am so careful about trying to make sure i don't contaminate or cross contaminate anything. ..i even boils the dish water so i make sure all dishes and eating utensils are clean. .bleach everywhere. ..so hope it is not something i did. ..maybe it's not that anyway. Sure hope not
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I've always used bleach in my dish water... habit from working at a school for 14 years. I'm sure it had nothing to do with the care your mother receives. I do hope you get your break next week. You are SO overdue!!!!

Well crud.... my TV went black a few hours ago. crap crap crap. It's only 4 years old. whine whine whine!!!
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ramiller, do what I do, whenever I am on this forum I click on LAST [located in the center of the page under the original post where it says comments 8460-8462 or whatever the numbers are now] and back track to where I had left off :) I don't know, maybe it's all different on other devices. I use a desk top.
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Regarding the VIP doctor program.... well, I had signed up as my primary doctor went into the program. I wanted to see what it was all about.

Last fall had an initial yearly checkup that included a whole bunch of stuff.... blood test that included 40 some items.... heart rate test... blood pressure test on both arms and both ankles.... spirometry test, to see how lungs were functions [thought I would pass out trying to blow air into a tube].... audiogram hearing test.... vision test...

mini mental state exam [routine questions like what year is it, what county are we in, who's the President]... remember three words [couldn't remember as I was OCDing on the tiny noise from the air conditioning vent].... copy a geometric design.....

body composition analysis, body fat mass.... yikes, big surprise.

Now I get same day or next day appointments instead of waiting until next week. And instead of 10-15 minutes with the doctor, I get a whole hour. Couple weeks ago I was there as my doctor wanted to check on my broken shoulder, talked about other medical issues, then spent quite a bit of time discussing my stress dealing with my parents.

Any time you're at the ER, the doctor will check in, and the staff will call you daily to see how you are doing and if you need anything.

In fact, I found this website through my doctor.... I was looking for something else when I tripped over this website... glad I did :)

The jury is still out if I will stay with the VIP program as my doctor is a bit of a drive for us. But, like I said, I wanted to try it out.
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Freqflyer that's doesn't sound like a whine to me! That sounds like perfection
,
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Dad was good at his happy hour today-whew. Nothing about going "home".
There is a gap of about 25 minutes between the end of happy hour and dinner-he does get a bit anxious about when he is going to eat.
Question though a couple weeks ago my cousin brought her mom and dad(dads brother) for a visit. My aunt now would like to have all dads brothers and sisters come and grill out a dads AL and want me to find out if ok! It would be 10 people and personally I would pick dad up and do at my house. If they want to see where dad lives they can come alone when I drive him back. Not sure what to do.
A bit of sad news I think as there is only one married couple at dads place they just celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary. The man has been declining in health and I think they are calling in hospice now. Not the first person to do hospice but they are such a lovely devoted couple it's going to be tough on everyone.
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When i have to access this site on my cell. ..i scroll to the bottom and click on "standard view" that brings up the previous, next and last buttons like the others said..... so you can easily go to the end and it's easier to figure out where you left off
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My whine tonight is the result of dad telling me that "YOU have a problem"--the drain in his bathroom is super slow (effectively blocked, barely draining). So it turns out that yea, it started a month ago, and has been getting gradually worse and worse, no rational explanation for why he waited till now to mention it. So I had to go out today to get drain enzyme, and wait for him to go to bed since it has to be left sit for 6 hours. This stuff works great when a drain just starts to get slow, I'm hoping it can handle this mess as I really hate to put lye in the septic tank.

And....when I went in, the bathroom window was wide open. No wonder my air conditioning has been running so much. And the electric bill has jumped. Which he insists couldn't possibly be due to *him*.

Memory doctor appointment is Thursday. Hoping that will rattle his cage enough that he'll move to assisted living without me having to be ugly. Or at least uglier-- after another snotty "when is supper going to be ready?" (while I was finishing up work in my home office), I've very pointedly not made supper all week, telling him to help himself to leftovers in the fridge and tv dinners in the freezer.
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57twin, if the AL has suitable facilities, and management is agreeable, why not hold a cookout there? It would save you the extra work that goes with a houseful of guests, and might change the perception some of the siblings have of AL.
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Eeeuuuwwww proper if random whine: I have been left in charge of my neighbour's tropical fish for the week, and every time I come back from his house I've got ants on me. I think it's the overgrown plants by his front door which you can't help brushing against as you go through. I've got nothing against ants in their place, you understand, but on me is too much.
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I loathe them CM and we have had a really calm extremely hot spell in the south and the damned flying ants swarmed so badly we couldn't open the windows - and unlike the USA we don't tend to have air con here
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CM....bugs.. I don't like crawly things and we too are having a problem in the garden because of the very wet weather here. The neighbor should cut back his overgrown plants before ants invade inside the house....I would at least cover my hair or wrap a sheet around me going through the jungle like area! I guess he is providing you with a free safari experience....
I guess my whine today is that I am looking at the big picture too much. So much has changed and continues to change all around me in many aspects of my life. I have always been susceptable to change anxiety.Everything lately seems to hit at once. Maybe all these things are supposed to happen. This is where meditation may help me, or some nice walks early mornings to clear my head...don't know.
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What we all need is chickens (not the first time I've thought that). The ladies used to think that Christmas came on humid midsummer evenings. They'd take up strategic positions round the launch pads that the ants build specially for the winged ants' nuptial flights - and let the feasting begin. Delicious, apparently. God knows how many new colonies they strangled at birth.
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I'd LOVE to get another batch of chickens!! Maybe if I got them as babies Sydney would get used to them and understand their our friends?? Lately I've been thinking about pygmy goats. They've got some cute ones around here.

57, if the AL will allow a cook out like that, then go ahead and let THEM do it. You just sit back and enjoy it. Agree with Katie, it would be nice for them to see where dad lives, maybe they'll be more apt to visit him and take some of the visits off you. I would personally stick close to dad in case he gets too overwhelmed. Sorry to hear about the elderly couple. I can't imagine living in a place, or like you, visiting a place where so much sadness is. Since I lost both parent's within a few years of each other I'm super sensitive about it now...

Katie, I've heard such great things about meditation and always wanted to try it. With the anxiety and feeling overwhelmed I find it hard to sit still that long!! LOL I understand the "change" part. Every day it's something and you try and scramble to keep up pace. I know how difficult life is for you right now and wish you find that peace you need.

Oh, I don't have an "ant" problem here, its SLUGS. Those big fat juicy slimy ones. I pluck several out of my garden daily. ICK!
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Feeling lost, I truly love the way you handle your father. It will be interesting to know how he does on his memory test. If he is getting dementia it might be a very wise thing to place him as quickly as possible. He sounds like he very well could be one of them that is out of control, demanding(er) and perhaps violent? It will be difficult to live with him for sure as he declines further. Hang in there!
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Mornings are hell at our house and it kills me with my arthritis to start in working to care for Mother.Everyday,its just chore after chore in my own pain.Today,Saturday,used to be Mothers and my favorite day when wed hit alot of garage sales together.We called ourselves the shit search'n sisters.Now,she sits on the toilet and I do more chores.I miss my old going and doing Mother and she hates being trapped in her liftchair.Watching her decline and decline is beyond heartbreaking.Thanks for letting me vent here.Ive held in too much for way too long.
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Luckylu, I know how bad it feels to have everything change so much for the worse. I am finding myself feeling very weepy and bursting into tears if I pause to think about it all. .My Mom's fall and then continual frequent hospitalizations, nursing homes, and declining health have been a living hell. I have in the past 6 months also seen 2 neighbors pass on , my Aunt passed in April, Four out of state friend's parents passed, and I see Mom's friend going through a terrible time with her husband that has Alzheimers too, and I have other things going on in my life and I just want to cry.
I am going to try to just keep busy so I don't think so much and try to put one foot in front of the other and see where it leads me.....first off to the kitchen while Mom is napping for some coffee and chocolate...the heck...it is a small thing but if it makes me feel better I will eat the chocolate!
Feelinglost, I hope all goes well with your Dad's test.
CM, the story about the chickens makes me smile. I love animals and they are such a source of joy in our lives.
Jeanette, I have seen slugs like that on occasion in a place I lived before....some people eat that stuff in garlic butter at fancy cruise ship dinners...:O :P
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My whine for today, and how Mars vs Venus sometimes think differently.

My sig other was complaining that he wishes he felt better so he could have the energy to go to the ball game.

I complained that I wished my shoulder was healed [so far a 9 week journey and counting] so I would have the energy to dust, because the house is a mess :P

On another note, my Panasonic upright vacuum from the 1980's literally fell apart... it lost a battle with a throw rug. So now I am roaming around the info commercials on TV to see what is out there. The Shark Rotator Lift-away had caught my eye. Anyone here own one? Like the idea that one can lift off the canister to get the vacuum totally under the bed to get pet hair. Reaching under with a sticky tape roller you can only go so far :P
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OK serious whine because I have had a day from hell and I imagine it's not over yet.

My cousin rang saying she was going to visit. My initial thought was why we haven't seen you for oooh 17 years so why now? To say I don't like her would be unkind..and not nearly close enough to how I really feel about her. I told yes Mum would love to see her but to be warned that Mum has dementia....oh she said no problem so do I...eeek hadn't seen that one coming.

Well she arrived...with husband in tow - he looked totally worn down by the event...she however was in full flight. Clearly she knew FAR more about ALL dementias than anyone ever could. I knew nothing wasn't doing things right and I should do this that and the other. Hmmm thinks me I shall go and do some packing now where did I put the duct tape and oh yes right now I could find a better use for it!!!!!!!! Bless his heart husband offers to come and help me make tea. He is so sweet and clearly worn out by the constant vitriole that she spews at anyone she thinks she will. Well she didn't like him being in the kitchen with me....So then I had to explain that we were not making out over the stove nor did I offer him my body when I showed him where the bathroom was.

She stayed 3 hours and I wanted to murder her. And I thought Mum was bad? Jings she is a cherub next to this battle-axe. Anyway luckily I know that dementia will take its toll and she will forget but as it stands she is coming back in a moth to make sure I have implemented all the changes she has told me I need to make.......Was I wrong not to tell her we were moving?!!! Smiles sweetly
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month not moth^
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3 hours knowing youre situation makes her a Queen Battle Ax!!!It is uncouth to stay so long Jude.Sorry this happened to you.
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Jeanette - I use bleach in my water all the time too for washing dishes. Just an old habit.

For the slugs, get a couple of aluminum pie plates (disposable ones) and put enough beer in them to cover the bottom of the pie plate about 1/4" deep. The slugs are attracted to the scent of it and they crawl in and drown. It's pretty effective. :-)

Oh Jude.....God save us from well-meaning relatives.
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Thanks, Jeanette. Wish I felt better about it, or at least more effective.

The NP at the clinic told me she is quite certain we are seeing the onset of dementia :-( She and the social worker agreed that AL is appropriate, and said they will ask the doctor who heads the program to specifically discuss it with dad at Thursday's appointment (first time seeing the doc himself). Seems this is a situation they have seen many times before, and doc has much experience at convincing seniors of the need to change their living arrangements.

Dad is not and never has been violent, but he's a master at passive-aggressive. And yes, he gets ever more demanding. Today we have a crisis because he is out of the bread he prefers for sandwiches, and I refuse to make a special trip to the grocery (9 miles) to get some.
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Jude, I just re-read your post....I think my own dear cousin has been visiting you. There's one in every family.
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FF, I have cleaned house for years with a shop vac equipped with a drywall bag. It copes much better than a regular vac with the mix of sand, hair, & metal shards (from SO's shop), and reaches easily under and behind things.

Dad brought their Roomba along, but it sits in his closet idle--he insists it must be run under close supervision, which he finds too much hassle. Perhaps when he moves to AL I can liberate it and let it do its job.
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Can't seem to get all my thoughts in one place before hitting "post" today, sorry!

Mom is (so far) happy in her private room. I'm *so* glad. I just keep asking if she likes it, and when she says she does, I remind her that this is far better than being stuck in a corner behind a curtain while the other roommate enjoys the full view of the window and has control over the curtain being pulled all the time. What a rotten situation for the person that happens to be stuck in the corner. She keeps telling me she likes the room, so I'm hoping that continues. She hasn't called me at all, but I suspect she's sleeping a lot. The Zoloft hasn't kicked in yet, so she's still very restless at night. Going to take about a month to get that sorted out - once the Zoloft kicks in, she may settle down, or may need a higher dose. So for now, she's all out of sorts in terms of sleeping and is restless all night, sleeping during the day.

NH has been more than accommodating about Mom's new room, putting in a work order for a bulletin board to put up her pictures (all the other rooms have them, but this one doesn't for some reason) and a chair so she can sit in it to watch TV instead of sitting in her wheelchair. Both should be taken care of next week. I'm bringing in her decorative items to put on the windowsill and such, and checking into whether I can bring in a small bookshelf to put things in on the other side of her bed. They have to have things a certain distance from the heater vents per state law, so that might not be possible. We'll see.
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Jude, you'd be quite within your rights to "forget" to give her the forwarding address, or to "accidentally" give her the wrong one.
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I just feel so sorry for her husband because as I pointed out to him the time is fast coming when he will need to put her into care and boy is she going to kick up then. This cow is seriously nasty and extremely controlling and bless him he just tries to do it all to please her knowing that nothing he does will please her....so so sad
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