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Jeanette and Susan, I too am part of the use bleach generation!
When well-meaning sis visited, she explained how toxic the products I was using were, and we reluctantly signed up for "her products". Since then, have found that tea tree oil is ototoxic (ears/damage hearing?). So, researching, making my own decisions, I returned happily to using bleach for that I know it is clean feeling. However, my husband is sent outside to avoid the neurological side effects it causes. I stay inside, cleaning, hoping I will get over breathing it.
We both agree it is better now to use white vinegar 1/2 cup in the dishwasher, because it helps with the hard water.
Bleaching everything else I can get away with!
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Oh Jude you did miss your opportunity"How nice but we won't be here moving to Alaska in two days. Don't have an address yet. got to find a house when we get there"
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Speaking of bleach.... I noticed one of my hand towels had these white splotchy spots all over it... what in the world?.... then I noticed in sig other's bathroom he was using a cleaner that has bleach and I bet he sprayed the bathroom sink then used that nice hand towel to wipe it dry. Back to Cleaning Class 101 which he should have learned from his mother.
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Boy, I don't check in for awhile and! Veronica, are you really moving to Alaska?!
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Gosh I have to whine while i still have strength in my left shoulder to type.
Saw the neurologist yesterday. told me the gardening i was doing was not exercise and if I wanted to get stronger I had to put more effort into it. Then he showed me some lunges I had to do between two chairs so I could grab if needed. fifteen of those several times a day just using your legs. Well my legs refused and I had to lever on the chair backs which did my shoulder in. He did admit that my MRI of my brain was a little better than normal for my age and I am not likely to get dementia from my neurological problems or need a wheel chair but I might eventually need that because of my scoliosis. So off i was sent with an order for a CT scan because my late onset scoliosis might be due to latent TB and if I wanted I could come back in a year but I must exercise. So I asked him what about my heart with all this heavy exercise as I have leaky valves and the Cardiologist said keep it light like walking. "Well your weakness will never improve if your don't put your back into it" Well I will do the CT scan as the only thing about that that bothers me is the $150 co pay.
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Learned from his mother? NEW BLOUSE, visiting his mother, who failed to mention the wet bleach on the edge of bathroom sink, threw away the blouse! It had the exact same white splotchy spots on it, fregflyer.
We have all gotta stop living out each other's lives! Never knew there were so many that I could identify with here. No longer, do I feel so all alone.
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Glad I am not moving to Alaska I was suggesting to Jude that she tell her relative that is what she was doing.
If I was moving to Alaska you would be hearing me whine loud and clear.
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FeelingLost, I bet more guys would help with the vacuuming around the house if they could use a Shop-Vac, makes more noise, too. But that would be too heavy for me to lift to carry up the down 2 flights of stairs. My old vacuum was the perfect weight... it was sad to see it sitting out for trash pickup after 30 years :(
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Sendme2help, I know I shouldn't really complain because at least he was cleaning his sink. He thinks that's all one needs to do to clean the bathroom :P

I would be upset if it was a blouse !!
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Maybe if you have an angel-heart neighbor like my husband, he will retrieve the vacumn from the trash, detail it out, repair it, (with our own parts) and instead of keeping it, (our vacumn broke), returns it to the neighbor! She gives him $5.
We/I still have the old cheap vacumn years later! Not working so well.
Still have the angel-heart husband too. (I had begged him to get the vacumn from next to the trash.) My neighbor got her vacumn back in perfect working order with my parts in it.
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But yes, we should complain! We have to go out and buy a new handtowel, which could have been decorative, I would be upset too!
The real stress is trying to live life one step ahead of the husband before he
does the next thoughtless thing.
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I love my shop vac! Not only does it have a blower on it so I don't have to sweep the pation, just blow it off BUT it does a d*mn skippy job of vacuuming all the spiders/web off the house with those long attachments!!
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aw well, hope ya'll know I meant *patio !!

EDIT BUTTON PLEASE!
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Freqflyer: lol, just remembered, husband went to do a load of his laundry and no longer is even "allowed" to handle bleach, having spilled 1/2 bottle on his newer grey shorts, years go.
Or is it rather, that I am naive: If they mess up, (as husbands and teenagers do)
that is the best way to avoid being asked to do the chore?
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I am new to this taking care of an elderly person. She is my mother in law. She has been with us only a week and she is a bit of a tornado. I am not trained nor want to be trained for this. I wish her own daughter would step up and help with finding her mother a place to live that is equipped and not in my home. I'm sorry if I come off as selfish. Sometimes one needs to be when you are a caregiver for your whole life starting with siblings, family and husband. I don't want to take care of another person at this point in my life. My children are grown and gone, its time for some time with my husband who is newly retired. As far as the posting with the urine soaked pants, get them ( Or him ) to wear grown up under pants. It will be tough but if that is all the is available to him what choice does he have? Good luck to everyone out there and take a minute to breath. I know I do. . .
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Hey Gang! I have nothing to add today. Just thought I'd check in and say Hope you are all doing good.

Lucky Lu keep your chin up. I know how hard it is to watch someone you used to buddy around with deteriorate. I was out yesterday and everywhere I look there is a reminder of places where Mom and I went to Lunch or coffee or just for a walk.
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Freqflyer, sis has the shark and loves it. When I there watching mom I use it to sprouce upvthe place for her and its great, light weight easy to use almost runs itself.
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I have to confess when I read these posts and comments I feel as if I'm eavesdropping on a private conversation. I also realize how lucky I am with Mom. She still seems to be holding her own with the dementia and is still very cooperative until it comes to bathing...sigh...and then we do the best we can. You all seem to have it so much worse than I do so when I feel like whining I just come on this site and count my blessings. I don't know how some of you do it......really. You must be saints.
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No! Don't self-censor! Small whines are good too, like scratching an itch. And besides it can be the little irritations that ruin a day, much better to get them out in the air.
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Holy cow! I have been out of touch! Mom has been doing well. They finally found out what bacteria is and put her on the right antibiotic and ordered a new antibiotic and told her to take a probiotic 2 x a day. She is already feeling better! Yeah!
Now the CDiff- Mom had it for months! What happens is that it is likely to spread easily true but how you get it in the first place. If you are on long term antibiotics , especially one she took for pneumonia, it messes with the environment in your gut. There are lots of bacteria in your gut, some good (probiotics) and some not so good like CDiff. The CDiff will not take hold of you if your good bacteria are in there at a healthy level. If the antibiotics kill off the good stuff the CDiff grows and takes over your gut causing vomiting and massive diarrhea which can kill the elderly. And because it is resistant to antibiotics it is hard to kill. To take care of the person you should isolate them while on the correct antibiotics, use a gown and gloves while in their presence, wash hands frequently with soap and hot water, not antibiotic cleaner. All surfaces should be cleaned with bleach and water. Wash all clothing and towels bedclothes in hot water and bleach.
Mom was in the Hospital that had very secure and clean methods. We got to the NH and everyone did something differently. Some wore gloves, some didn't no one wore gowns. She did not get to come home until she got multiple tests that were negative because 20% are false negatives. I had the entire house cleaned from top to bottom because the spores can last 90 days. Hope this helps.
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Sheradale, good info! Hope your Mom is getting better and you are coping well!
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It's so Hot here in the Seattle area, I'm melting, and my little dog too!
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There is a particular strain of probiotic that is especially beneficial against C-Diff. Sacromyces Boulardi. Must be bought separately, it is not part of the usual blends. The one I have is by Jarrow. It seems to be a bit obscure--I stumbled on it while researching my own chronic illnesses. Sharadale, this might be helpful for your mom to prevent a recurrence of the C-Diff.
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Thanks Feeling Lost. I will order it.
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3noodlebirds, you're not being selfish, you're being sensible. Make your stand now, before MIL gets settled in--give hubby & his sister a (short) deadline to find assisted living for her.

I really wish I had found this forum before I let my dad move in with us. Because if I'd had any inkling of how things would go, I would have refused outright. As it is, we've had 7 months of misery for everybody. I put him on notice that he needs to move out, and found a very nice assisted living in the nearest town that would be ideal for him. He has a new excuse every day for why I should let him stay on here. Have an appointment this week with a gerontologist memory specialist who knows the score and will talk to him about all the reasons AL is better for him than my back bedroom. Hoping that does the trick, if not things are going to get *really* ugly, 'cause I've had more than enough and am past ready to get back to my own life.

Keep us posted on the fight for your freedom.
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FF, more noise is what earplugs are for ;-) SO does most of what cleaning gets done around here. Which is not a lot, honestly. That is one of dad's many complaints, although I had warned him that I am not my mother (who kept a spotless house). Doesn't help that he goes to bed about the time I usually look around and think about vacuuming. Oh well.

Could you get your hubby a shopvac "gift" and ask him to apply it to one floor of the house? Or even one room? Just so he contributes a bit?
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Just reading through those bleach horror stories and kind of chuckling a bit. About 15-18 years ago, my then-husband's elderly parents moved in with us, due to his father's terminal cancer. We helped his mother care for him until he passed away in our home. His mother stayed on with us. She liked to stay busy around the house and was always doing laundry, washing dishes, etc - she was a Godsend. Well...sometimes she was, anyway. Money was tight, so I was always couponing, looking for good deals, and hitting thrift stores or yard sales for things we needed. When our local grocery store did one of those promotional deals where you get a discount on a set of towels if you bought over a certain amount in groceries, I managed to get 3 new bath towels in a gorgeous seafoam green color, the plushest, nicest towels I'd ever had in my life. (As a child in a family of 6, many of our towels could be seen through if held to the light...) I was absolutely vain about those nice towels, and planned to buy more. One day, I came home from work and found my MIL folding what looked like a gray towel. I knew we didn't have any gray towels - and this particular towel looked very soft and plush. Then she folded another that was Dalmatian-spotted with gray - and seafoam green. She bleached my %$#$#^&^%$$# towels. I (calmly) asked her what had happened to them, and she looked dumbfounded, then explained that she *always* put bleach in the towels at her daughter's house! Um....oh I give up.

I never bought another new towel until my husband left me for another woman and my MIL moved out to live with her other kids.
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This week's drama is my brother who has been Dad's power of Attorney battling with a step sister who seems to be wanting to swindle my Dad out of his money.
Lawyers are going to be brought in and meanwhile my poor Dad is calling my brother 10x a day, wailing, complaining, and is totally confused.

Good things happen too though: our family is getting closer having to support each other emotionally while we witness the demise of Dad. Decades of grudges, misunderstandings, poor judgements, are giving way to friendships and the discovery of each others strengths.

I had a nice day with my mother today with not one note of negativity from either of us: and I wasn't feeling healthy today either. Kudos to the goodness that can triumph if we get out of the way!
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Veronica, ask the neurologist for a prescription to see a physical therapist who can help you find exercises that you can do safely and comfortably. Swiss ball and resistance bands come immediately to mind as options. A good PT will know of dozens more, from which you can choose the ones that best suit you.
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All this talk of bleach, vacuums, laundry and stupid hubbys and sig o's reminds me of the possum lodge men's pledge from the Red Green show:

IM A MAN, AND I CAN CHANGE, IF I HAVE TO, I GUESS........
And there's also:

WE MAY NOT BE VERY SMART LADY, BUT WE CAN LIFT HEAVY THINGS
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