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Jude...now that is interesting. The nurse has me giving my Mom yogurt and Kefir for a probiotic and there is something called Good Belly that I am going to check into, but luckily C-diff hasn't been an issue. I did worry when she was in the one nursing home summer of last year. A pill of poop though....that might be hard to take if one knew what it was!!
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OK peeps I have having a down moment...I'm sure she will rally again but Mum is starting to fail again...she's very very sleepy and her urine output is much more frequent and her incontinence levels increased though she has not got into la la land so I am not sure whether it could be a UTI or the meds she has just been on or what - docs don't seem to know either and are reluctant to come out of course (which they do do in the UK).

She feels she is getting worse but I don't know what that means any more

I am a little worried that the move is too much for her but I have tried to keep her away from most of it - we are now to the next stage being the exchange of contracts so hopefully it will all go smoothly. If not I am sure it will be my Mum's death defying wish that it all fails because she dies on me on the day we exchange! I tell you if she doesn't I might!

I am just so glad you are all here. I know I try to make light of things because that is my way but deep inside it hurts like hell and memories of my Dad keep flooding back and making the pain much worse.....sorry for the downer peeps - I will rally I promise
xxxx
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Crikey, Jude, you know that house moving is right up there with bereavement and divorce for stressful life events, don't you? I'm not surprised you're hurting, poor love.

It could well still be a uti, you don't always get bonkersness with it by any means. Any delightful fragrances attached, if I can put it like that? Get a district nurse to come round and dipstick it, might as well. Alternatively, Tena do a pad test that is a useful triage - it tests for leucocytes and nitrites, and comes with responsible instructions about what to do ref false positives/false negatives. Gives you something to do besides wringing your hands, anyway, if you can't get the nurse to come out today.

Rough times, big hugs to you.
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Hugs to you, Jude. It is 5:45 a.m. in So. California, U.S.A.
You posted one hour ago. Just hugs, thinking about praying for you,
and I will if that is okay.
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Jude, after your cousin's visit, you are going to need to clear your head and re-focus. Do not doubt yourself, you have excellent care-giving skills and that has been apparent from your posts all along.
You can make Mom comfortable.
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The doc refuses to come out - she says it is a UTI - Mum now says she doesn't want it treated - yeah right like that's gonna happen!. I am about to become an abusive carer and I make no apology for it - I will covertly medicate Mum if I have to because she is so depressed she is not capable of making this sort of decision. So I probably am gonna need those prayer send me
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Jude, UTI is another thing neither of you need to go through at anytime. Oh, how it can mess up a person's thinking (as if we need any help in that department). Sending my prayers to you...you on the brink as an abusive carer! Most others who are not normally caregivers would have past that stage long ago.
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Its always feast or famon at our house.Now,after 3 days of enemas,etc.the minute I stood her up to change her,poop started running down her legs into her slippers,all over her,her liftchair,the bathroom,the toilet,EVERYWHERE!!!Im up to my elbows in crap and the odor is repulsive.I know she cant help it.Im SO tired of the constant problems and messes and having the world on my shoulders.I must keep my temper.Its all so hard! Just venting again.Thanks.
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Jude, hugs to you friend...this time last year I was in the process of having to figure out how I was going to move all my stuff home and knew I had a deadline...first time I ever used respite..But I still remember the stress...so hang in there..I know it's not easy...to say the least.....

Lucky....oh my...bless your heart...yep, I have done that as well and it is almost unbearable...And I say that totally knowing they cannot help it whatsoever...but that does not less the total frustration of being the one to have to handle it all....and no one will ever get it who has not done this......hugs to you...
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No idea whether we're going to respite or not...We're all bathed and ready to go, but not one peep ....I would rather they have just told me tomorrow instead of leaving me hanging in this limbo...and now I have set a doctor's appt for tomorrow as I had originally been told today....I don't know, sometimes it feels like everyone else just assumes we have nowhere else to go and nothing else to do but wait on them to send down the orders....it is frustrating...I'll just end it there.
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Jude, ask your mother if she fancies discussing her u.t.i. with some eight year old F1 (probably Nigerian, and God bless them for their hard work in the NHS) in Casualty, in front of an eager audience, instead. Because if she lets it get a hold it'll come to that.
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Gershun..you had mentioned the whole growing a backbone. ..i did that a long long time ago. .but that is exactly what has put me in line with catching heck from everybody. .i have come to believe it's because they want to APPEAR to be running everything and they can't do it with me. I am just developing a thicker skin so i don't give a flying flip what they think or say. .
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As I had not heard anything I finally just called the office..and was informed we are not going to respite today. One of the tests came back with blood in the stool and the other one has not been determined yet, so without a definite diagnosis they could not send her, even though they expect it to be negative for cdiff...so now with the discovery of blood in the first test, it is somewhat confirming what I have long been concerned about and the only way to determine that is a battery of tests..

I am NOT inclined to put my Mama through all those tests...What good will they do..Mama is 91 and is very frail. I remember when my Daddy was in similar situation and at the time, they kind of sold us on the idea he needed them...and Mama consented and the tests themselves caused damage that he never recovered from...so no, I am not doing that to her. I always promised her I would never put her through a bunch of stuff when it was not going to help her and that is one promise I for sure intend on keeping.

Now, I am not leaning towards doing respite...I will talk to her nurse but I don't even want to lose that one week...this semi diagnosis has thrown me, even though I suspected it...the potential reality has jolted me back to where I just want to love on her and do as much as I can to keep her happy and home ...I am also afraid they will give her a bunch of those "comfort care" medications...this place was great the last time..I believe they'd be fine again..I just don't think I can let her go now....she's sleeping so good now..she looks so sweet...I will hunker down and just handle it...
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Jude, that would be a hard pill to swallow! Sorry, people, someone had to say it! LOL!
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Ok. I'm going to whine about posters who do not "read" the post correctly, then go post about what was said. geeez

Jude, oh my goodness... this is a rough patch for sure. Seems like they're all trying to go against what you feel is best, this includes your dear mother!! Most def the move is upsetting her. Even though you're doing your best to keep her away from it, I'm sure she still "feels" it. Hang in there hun...there is a light at the end of the tunnel...eventually :)

hope, wow, sorry you didn't get your respite, totally understand though why your going to hunker down with your dear mama. I WOULD call your brother and tell him you'll need him to HELP you out a bit more than he does. Seriously, he really needs to step it up now.

Lucky, you also need to find a way to get some help with your mother. You won't be able to keep this up for much longer. Your mother has had this problem for awhile now and she must be getting dehydrated or losing lots of proteins /vitamins her body needs. Really, please figure something out for both your sakes!!! (((hugs)))
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Jeanette, sorry if I mad you mad by misunderstanding your post about visiting your mom during respite. I certainly did not intend to. I think many of us misunderstand other's posts, it has happened to me as well.
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Again you misunderstand. Whining doesn't = mad.
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You ladies all hang in there a rough patch for many of you.
Saw dad this afternoon he was good. Not doing activities again but at least in living room instead of cooped up in room.
Going to take him out tomorrow afternoon to a bar/restaurant somewhere nearby on water so we can sit outside have some adult beverages together.
And I do post these outings on Facebook.
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Jude the poo pill has been around for some time just not advertised for many reasons. it is best if the original is taken from a healthy blood relative. It is the thoroughly sterilized etc and put into a capsule. It can be swallowed or given rectally and I don't know quite the form of that but it is said to be very effective with intractible diarrea.
It has long been the practice with new born foals with diarrea to force some of the mare's manure down the foal's throat. I won't go into details but animal care is often not pretty.
Poop pills are coming folks but they will probably have a fancy name and you won't even know what you are getting.
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There was a detailed description of the whole procedure on the radio a few months back, Veronica. I would pass it on but after about three minutes my head was swimming and I just spent the rest of the programme praying I never get C diff.
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Hope blood in the stool is something i would expect with the amount of diarrea Mama has been having. Stool samples detect the minutest amount because the diarrea is very caustic to the skin and how ever care ful you are there is some soreness and a tiny bit of bleeding or she many have haemorrhoids even internal ones. She could have ulcers in her stomach or anywhere else along her digestive tract. her gums could have bled a tiny amount when you cleaned her teeth. All these minute amounts pass through and give a possitive result. Time to worry if you are seeing blood on the TP, blood in the poop or black shiny stools. As far as any investigations are concerned forget it she is on hospice and they and you are not going to do anything about it possibly an anti biotic for a UTI. never try and obtain a diagnosis unless you can do a safe treatment and that is what you and your loved one wants and it won't in itself cause more distress.
Hope you desperately need that respite but it is your decision. AS you know Mama can go at any time but you have to be fit to finish the race and right now that sounds doubtful with your level of exhaustion. visit every day and take her home early if she declines rapidly. Take care of yourself that is what Mama would want for her beloved Hope
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I am so sorry for all of you who are going through it with your dear parents. Hope, Jude, Lucky Lu I will pray for all of you.
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Cm, Crikey, I'll second that.
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Wow Hope, I am so sorry for what you are going through. I know how you can get let down but when push comes to shove, you put her first because that's who you are. A lot of us are like that and that is why we are caregivers. I am praying for you that God's wi
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It posted without the last
God's will be done.
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Jude, if you can get it, look for AZO. It is over the counter for uti until they have identified the bacteria. Now that Mom's is under control and she is feeling much better we actually went out on a non medical outing! Last night I asked if she would like to go to the movies to see Mr. Holmes. She said yes, but I knew that the answer could change based on her sleep. I got ip this morning and she was sleeping but later when I got up again and checked, she was already dressed and ready to go!!!
We went to the movies and enjoyed our matinee. As I was driving away, I mentioned that I had to stop at the pool store to get chlorine and then I would take her home and go back out to do the grocery shopping. She responded with, I can go shopping with you, it will save you a trip home! She got in her little electric cart and did some personal shopping while I ran around doing my stuff, checking on her every now and then. She was having a great time looking at all the new stuff. This was our first outing since May and it lifted our spirits so much!
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For those interested the new treatment for CDiff is called a fecal transplant and it is not an easy procedure. My mom was treated with Vancomycin which worked pretty well, but there is another medication that is more expensive and more powerful but they rarely use it.
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Jeannette, my husband has raced what is called Enduro on dirt bikes. They go out in the woods with maps and timers. They have to ride motorcycles through the woods from checkpoints and they are supposed to get there not to early but not to late. Each checkpoint they get a time stamp and the winner is determined at the end. I think it takes about 6 hours. He used to race when he was in his twenties through 40's and one year he was 2nd in the state in his age group. He could have been first but he had to miss a couple of races. He is 59 right now and will turn 60 in September. This senior division are guys he has been racing with most of his life and he is one of the few "amateurs" that do so well.his equipment is always used as compared to the pros who get new bikes every year.
He has always been a dare devil but I have been trying to get him to relax, but he doesn't understand the concept.
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Well it quarter to two in the morning and I am waiting for the ambulance to take Mum to hospital - She is worse not better so as I cannot lift her and as I cannot get provided with a hoist - let's not go there even I have no choice but to get her into hospital ASAP or tonight as slow as you like!
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Praying 5:44 p.m. on monday, July 20.
So sorry that you are going through this alone, worrying about Mum.
The emergency room hopefully will explain what is happening.
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