I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
Its not all peaches and cream in hospital over here either, I too helped my sister, who had a very serious abdominal surgery last Nov. 14, with her very personal bathing needs as they always seem to be understaffed, or they are allowing Very sick patients to shower, without assistance. They always seemed to be discharged before they are capable of caring for themselves, and even then, they don't have home care set up appropriately and immediately, so what is someone with no helping family member to do? Nothing seems right in the medical world anymore, and I worked in medicine for 30 + years! My sister was sent home witha wound vaccum on her 30 inch, yes 30 inch iincision, last November, and Still has it on! Can you believe that it would take 8 mo for a surgical site to heal on an otherwise healthy person, if the surgery had been done correctly in the 1st place?? Problems, ya we got problems!
Once a man, twice a child. So accurate isn't it?
My only whine is hearing from relatives saying you and your sister (my twin) did/do so much for your parents. Really????? She only sees him twice a year at best even when mom was alive. I'm the DPOA, I take him to appts, pay his bills, stop and see him almost every day, tidy his room, take him shopping, out of lunch/ice cream etc.... Not fair that she shares in complements. I need a semi snarky ( Jude?) response to my relatives correcting their idea that we share the responsibility.
Jude, the hospital where my Mom spent her last days has a reputation for horrible treatment of the elderly. If I had it all to do again she wouldn't of been there but thats where she got transferred from the nursing home she was in. She was too ill to be transferred after that. But even though its only 5 minutes away from where I live I swear I'll never go back there. Even if my hand is falling off I'll instruct the ambulance to take me somewhere else. (hand, foot, nose, you name it)
I would box all those darn albums and pictures up and tell him to come get them, but he lives in Alaska. I sent a short yet specific email regarding the huge of all they've sent the past 20 years, asking what they wanted me to do with it. If they want it back, send postage in advance. If not, I do have a lovely large fire pit in the back yard. As for the two brothers that live here.....
Gads! Well, I will pull frames off and simply toss those pictures.
Guess what?.........Me too. (cue twilight zone music) Ha, ha
Yes Donna!! Scorpio!!
News here is that the assisted living apartment "in a couple weeks" turned into "available now". I'm chasing the last bits of paperwork, but we have the green light to move him in on Friday. This does not suit him at all, hence the tantrums.
Decent frames that your brother gave as gifts are a bit more of a twinge; but put them for sale with anything else that has to go and share the money with him if you can be bothered. Who doesn't have enough photograph frames? - again, you're just saving him from the Clutter Monster.
I 've told everyone in the family numerous times if they want anything let me know.
So far, no takers.
What I'm worried about is that years from now someone will suddenly remember and I'll have grown attached to something that they may want and it will turn into a big shitstorm (excuse my french).
But to be honest, I think we're entitled to harden our noses a bit. If our mothers didn't care enough to leave a letter of wishes -
- side note: it turns out my mother did. My sister called a few weeks ago to say our family lawyer had found it in a file. She left a bracelet to my sister, and a ring to me. That's it. The bracelet, which is complicated, had already gone to the jeweller to be broken up for distribution among the four of us; and I've no idea where the ring is. Well done mother, another masterpiece of administration…
Anyway. If our mothers didn't care enough to leave a specific letter of wishes ***attached to the will*** then considering that we get the super job of sorting everything out I reckon we also get first dibs. So unless they've got a piece of paper to the contrary, and to be fair my sister isn't creating over her bracelet (she didn't like it, but it is valuable), they can keep their mitts off. They speak up now, at your invitation, or forever hold their peace.
Coming up the hill I have to admit that it suddenly dawned on me, and hit me right between the eyes that all my adult life, well, in fact, since I was 8 years old, coming up this hill meant coming "home" to Mama and Daddy..having lost Daddy almost 20 years ago, it has been Mama here waiting on me...I know one day there will be no one up this hill waiting for me...is it going to feel like home then? This house is so big and empty without her in it...
I am thankful today that the aid and nurse both checked in on her, and spread their visits out and the aid told me she even had Mama laughing. I was soooooo tempted to go by and check on her this afternoon late, but I made myself not do it. I have noticed that she starts to fall asleep earlier and when I go and disrupt her sleep, even though I want to see her, I was afraid it might confuse her and wake her up from a good rest, so I just prayed and thanked God for the good help we are getting this week.
Tomorrow I am going for my makeover and I cannot tell you all how excited I am.. I think I am going to get bold and really go for it....
I browsed some our new stores today and that was fun. I also ended up in one of the familiar big box stores because of course I did not find what I was looking for...get ready for it....pull on comfortable cute lounge pants....well, as we know you can find anything at wallyworld, and I found the cutest little set, pale blue and white polka dots with little cats on there...a cute lounge type dress with foxes and owls on it and a pair of really nice yoga pants....yay! I guess I can now retire the ones with HOLES in them...and I am not even joking...but they literally were worn down to their last thread but I just had not had time to go out and just really look for what I wanted and I was determined to not just buy anything ...
Had a relaxing evening and crazy me, it dawned on me I did not have to be home before nightfall, but oh well, it takes a little getting used to this rest stuff....:)
I went through a lot of her stuff right in front of her cause we had to clear out her stuff before she transitioned into the nursing home. I remember holding things up and saying "keep this?" and she said no to just about everything. So I took what I thought was meaningful.
Ya know Hope you are right. When it comes right down to it I went through it all when no one else would. They had their chance. H*ll, I'm keeping it. If they come crying to me later I'll remind them I asked. Tough Luck!!
On another note, Hope, I'm glad you had your taste of freedom today. I hope you enjoy your makeover tomorrow. Just don't change too much or your Mama won't recognize you.
Sharadale..good to see you. I'm so glad to hear your Mom is getting stronger..that is wonderful news!!!
vehicles...oh wow don't get me started there....I am needing to get the lower and possibly entire engine replaced in my car...and my Daddy's little truck, it is just one thing after another. I am going to try to go in tomorrow for the THIRD time and see if they can find out where the leak is in my NEW AC system. I be danged if I paid that kind of money for one that blows semi cool/warmish air..ridiculous...but it does seem I get one thing fixed and something else goes amiss. I made it through 52 years of life without any car issues, but I made up for it the past few years since I've been here.
Yes, Gershun and Stacey...so excited about the makeover. I found a picture exactly like I want...the one who cuts my hair is pretty good so I hope she can do it...The picture is the pretty auburn color I would one day love to try, but I did start thinking about it and decided it truly might confuse Mama so I think I'll stick with the blonde for now....I sure am missing that little lady...I am enjoying this time and am going to try to squeeze every bit of enjoyment out of it...and I think..and hope, it will help me take better care of her when she comes home....
All my furkids are in and cozy and I"m about to join them
I may pull up "It came from Hell" to help lull me off to sleep...I love old B&W horror movies...they always put me to sleep...