I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
Same thing when I was on the phone with her. So I know it sounds bleak but there are good places out there. You wouldn't know it by this thread however.
I'm just sorry so many people out there have such bad experiences.
I did have dad at a respite place about 20 minutes away the month before he moved. Ick. Would never have considered that place as a permanent home.
Are you sure they did not have prescriptions for Mom from their own supply, I doubt it, but just asking.
Can we help put them out of business in anyway?
You take care of Mom, let's try to get some answers from legal experts on here. It is so very dangerous for a patient to abruptly withdraw from meds!
We also see it in others like Jude, she's always at the hospital, and always finds something fishy going on! We become so very protective over our Loved ones! Nobody does it better! We have all been there, We are all really special people! God, I hope there are some left when we need them! Lol. Love to you all!
And it's just inexcusable to not give her one single dose of her meds...I bet they never looked in there to realize I had counted out exactly what she needed so I could tell if they gave it to her...they didn't ..not one time...
At least my hair is cute...and I enjoyed that time. And I am thankful to finally get my AC fixed on the truck.It is nice and cold now. They tried really hard and I think they sensed I was kind of discombobulated...so God is watching over us.
I have Mama all tucked in and changed, the kitties are settled, the puppy is settled and I am about to be so as well...again thank you all for your support and encouragement. I guess I am disappointed because I am really really tired, but I will just plan on little naps when Mama is napping and make it work. I can see I'm not ever going to trust anyone else with her care again after this fiasco....
My eyes are by nature kind of blue green, but when I get really mad they turn almost violet...by the time I left that joint my face AND my eyes were purple....I do not want to know what my BP was by then...
She was just lying there this afternoon with her eyes closed and I went in there and leaned close to her and said "Mama, ,,Mama...she opened her eyes....and I told her...hey, I'm lonely...would you come back home now"....she just started smiling with that sweet little smile of hers and she was all too ready to oblige... :) so glad she's home...thank you Stacey...and thank you all. yes, I will sleep better tonight knowing she is right where I can keep an eye on her....
Department of health? I would let as many places know about what happened. This and my own experiences with a couple of bad NHs is why I have Mom here and I don't know why so many people I encounter do not get that! They have obviously never been in a caregiving situation and encountered a NH that should have their license taken away! I am glad you got your hair done and the truck AC fixed. At least you can rest assured that your Mom will now be well taken care of with you and have peace of mind.
My whine already this morning...I hardly slept last night and I am wracked with worry. Mom was restless and rang that wireless doorbell and didn't know why she did it. She has done this twice before. After that occurred, the worries about this and that set in and I could not sleep. Yesterday was a test....my regular health aide called off sick. Then I encountered a person I deal with on a professional level and it was all bragging....every movie I want to see and can't go she has seen, every place I want to vacation for just a few days someday her son is moving to after a huge windfall. Cruises, vacations, cars...etc. etc.If my garden yields 3 tomatoes her son's has 30....You get the idea. After hearing about all these charmed lifestyles, in the same hour a phone call came with some clown in a far away country telling me he is with Windows and my computer is broken.....Needless to say after all that bragging I was ready to tear into someone...told him I knew it was a scam and to not call me as I don't have a computer and I use the ones at the library. That always sends them for a loop.Then I had accidently set my coffeemaker on brew instead of auto and it made a whole pot of coffee right before bedtime. Like some horror movie indicating the sleepless night to come.....
Now I sit here bleary eyed and worried about so many things, income property, Mom etc. and I hope Mom does not go into delirium again. I also wonder why some people are so blessed with charmed lives and others go through the wringer on a daily basis who don't deserve all this stress....
You should report this to the sate dept of health and they will definitely pay the NH a visit and possibly the hospice. Hot feeding mamaor ensuing she was receiving adequate nutrition is definitely a reportable expense. You only have to wonder how many other residents who can not feed themselves are ignored and die so quickly once they enter a N/H
I can not comment on the medications because staff are usually not permitted to administer medications the patient brings with them. The N/H Dr has to prescribe them and then the N/H obtains and administers them. Don't worry too much about the Coumadin, it takes about five days to get out of the system so the INR may not be too far off and the numbers should soon return to normal range. If someone is on coumadin and needs surgery it has to be stopped for five days before the proceedure, and when tested a week later it is usually within normal range again. Your experience just underlines the need for us all to research everything for ourselves and not be afraid to question the Dr and ask for chapter and verse.
Hope, I am GLAD you brought her home. Not eating was also my major concern when mom went to hospice house and is exactly WHY I visited her several times as well as her home carer. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize a person with latter stage AD cannot verbalize hunger. Just pisses me off how some CNA's can be so stupid. Where my mom went they had a menu that you marked off providing what you wanted to eat that day. Really? I spent half the morning explaining to everyone that mom cannot tell you what she wants, nor can she manage to eat on her own that someone needed to help feed her!! GRRRR!!!! As far as the medication, well, I've also bitched about that on here. All the meds I'd sent with her were sent back full. I honestly think they gave her loads of morphine but... you know, for me, it was more stressful worrying about her care than actually taking care of her myself. I see you feel the same way. And you StacyB, it was wonderful how your siblings and you banded together to bring your mother home and get proper care!! Like a poster said, those are the very reasons mom stayed here with me. Buttheads!!
We are in another heat wave. Temps in the high 90's - 105's for the next week. Oregon doesn't seem to get those wonderful thunder storms that most states do when it gets this hot. Bummer. I love those kind of storms.
Thank you for the, as always, wonderful suggestions in regards to all those damn photo's. I emailed, no reply, today is garbage day. Problem solved.
Life trudges on, my sleep is getting more regular and the images of my dear mother's last few months are slowing waning. They do pop up at the strangest times and I have to take a deep breath and be still.
Guess Cap isn't coming back :(
Jude, I have already been on the phone this morning with our Hospice director and had a long discussion and let them know that Mama's treatment was inexcusable and failure to keep her nourished bordered on criminal imo...I told them I was very concerned about not only Mama but all the other people who entrusted their loved ones to these places and this one in particular and wanted to know what they were going to do regarding followup...I am thinking of drafting a very detailed letter to the state, and copying all of the buttheads involved because not only does it matter how my Mama was treated....it matters to me than anyone entrusted to their care could be in that same position
I know my brother just assumes that her being in there means she is being cared for...He has not bothered to check on her and didn't even check on me..other than a short...you ok? he's gong to be shocked when he discovers what all transpired..People who never actively participate in the care of their loved ones have ZERO clue how much can go wrong if you don't actively advocate for them...
I do know that respite is not like that for everyone...But I will not be doing it again...
Veronica...why do they ask us to send their meds with them if they aren't going to administer them. I know the CNA's can't do it, but if the doctor has ordered them, why do their nurses not give them as written? That is bizarre...how do people ever get to go to respite..the only thing Mama takes is the coumadin, I know most elderly people are on a vast assortment of meds...so how do they ever go to respite?
On that same note I did NOT send any of her comfort care meds because I did not want them giving her morphine or any of the anxiety meds because I knew Mama should not need them. Our nurse assured me if Mama got fractious they had to contact them and our doctor had to order anything they gave...Would that not apply to meds too?
I can't imagine EVER doing respite again....what a nightmare...I am thankful she came back from the other experience ok...who knows, maybe they didn't care for her properly then and I was so covered up with my moving I didn't catch on...thank God Mama is good and we are having a happy morning.
She has been laughing and .. She did ask if they brought her Chevrolet back...I don't have a clue what that means...lol
Before Mama's Alzheimers got so bad, when she still got therapy and was just having home health, the PT was very coarse and ill tempered with Mama and Mama loves everyone but she did not like this woman one bit. She was MEAN..I didn't care for her either but at that time didn't know I could have changed PT's..anyway..Mama got to where she would make faces at her and started getting snippy with her..I had never seen Mama do that in my life...then she started quoting poetry to her...which really aggravated the therapist...Mama was still living alone for the most part then but I would come home often and check on her..I was heading home one day and the therapist called me and told me Mama had ordered her out of the house...I loved it....she was really hateful to me too and said she wasn't leaving until I got there and signed her paperwork. I told her she could come back and I would sign her paperwork but for now she needed to just go...she told me...your Mother doesn't know what she's talking about...I told her you are wrong..Mama knows exactly what she's talking about and she wants you gone and so do it...please go now...I will be there soon and you can either mail me what you want me to sign or bring it back or I will swing by and sign it..but go....she left...and that was that....but she was rough with Mama...I knew it and it made me wonder just how rough she might be getting with me not there for Mama to order her out of her house...because I've never seen or heard Mama do anything like that in my life....
I wish yall could see her right now...she is sleeping really deeply...all cleaned up..all in pink..all clean and fresh and flowery....I so love her being here...right here...beside me, where I can keep an eye on her and just love the heck out of her...
One other thing I noticed. They requested I send with her everything she'll need. So I sent several pairs of her favorite pj's, her favorite gowns... but they never used them. As soon as she got there they apparently took the clothes I sent her in, off. They kept her in those ugly hospital gowns. Their reason was it's easier to change her. Lazy buttheads to boot!!
Again, I'm just so thankful Mama is home....I feel so much more rested...Maybe that's what I needed..to know that I am happier with her HERE and me knowing all her moves than being somewhere else and having to worry all the time...maybe now I can settle down a bit.. :)
I take the car in and the spark plugs and wires need changing. A gasket is leaking oil. Some fitting I have no idea of is falling apart & needs replacing. Okay, do it. We pick up the car and I pay the bill. At home my husband looks at it and yells that I'm wasting our money because he could have changed the spark plugs and this or that and the last (unrelated) move I made to save money for us is useless because of this money I just threw away...blah, blah, blah, blame, blame, blame...!
Really?? Why didn't he speak up these past few months? Why didn't he look at the car himself? Why didn't he tell me he could change the spark plugs and wires or just DO it? Why didn't he say he'd like to hear the calls from the garage to see if he could do any of the work himself?? WHAT THE HECK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO??? I can't read his mind! I followed his directions!
And now, a couple of hours later, he seems to have forgotten it and wants to take me out to dinner before I leave for a months' vacation!!
It's a crazy life I'm living.
Love that he forgot about being mad so fast. Hope that dinner is good. He sounds like a sweet man. :)
Donna, is it blistering there? I'm a few ticks from 100, by 5:00 p.m. it will be well over a 100.
Pool time (again)
I'm a fair skinned irish lass so the sun is not my friend.