I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
This morning I woke up around 4:30 a.m., forced myself to go back to bed. All I did was dream one weird thing after the other, and no loved ones involved. My oldest brother and his wife was there though...for some reason I had to move suddenly and I didn't have time to get everything, so when I got to wherever it was that I moved to I realized I'd left so much behind. All daddy's tools in the garage which I love going through looking for just what I need. All my yard care stuff...mower, weed whacker, blower...all of it, then all of the sudden I realized I'd left my laptop. I INSISTED my brother drive me the 8 hours back right there and then. He took me and 4 other people from his wife's side the next day... come to find out I'd left my dogs there too.
Wait, that wasn't a dream more like a nightmare. Woke up sweaty and more tired than before.
Please don't have a heart attack. I will not move and leave all I love behind either. sigh.
Stacey...well there you are! How pretty! I do love to see folks on here and may put my pic on as well...but its not too far off from the one on here now....at least that's how I feel....lol
We had a quiet day...no excitement..just the way I like em...watched that ridiculous Bachelor in Paradise..why do I watch that inane show??? all those gloriously handsome folks with apparently zero for brains....so sad....
I really enjoy that show Naked and Afraid....the new one XL where it is the veteran folks who stay longer...it is going to get crazy I think...I'm not too fond of the killing though. I have to turn it when I think something is about to happen on that realm.
I was changing into my pj's this evening only to find that my puppy had peed on them. I guess that was their opinion of my not letting her go with me to the bank drive through.....
Depaction...Not fun by any way shape or form....Thank goodness I have not had to do that in a year or so...there was a while though that it was almost an every third day ritual...I did it, but it was not pleasant..but bless her heart...I'm sure it was even worse for my sweet Mama.
I have missed her a lot today...Odd to say that I know when she's right here...but she has been quiet today again...and when she gets this way it reminds me too much of what I know is coming...I try not to think on and dwell on it...but every now and then it sneaks in....I don't even want my mind to go there..Just going to try to enjoy what we have now...and trust that God will handle the rest.
I hope you all have had wonderful weekends...I'm still making way through all the posts...If you don't get on here all day you miss a world of events....sweet dreams all....
Hey Jeanette I was meaning to ask you, did you ever go to that grief counselor?
I have always been a comfort eater. I remember one of you saying the same thing. In he last ten years I have gained that 80 lbs and felt I was overweight then. My dad passed at the age of 44 from heart disease so although I haven't had any signs of problems, I do have a Mitral valve prolapse and an erratic heartbeat. Needless to say, I need to take responsibility for my health especially if I want a life afterMom passes.
About 15 years ago, my stepfather paid for Mom and I to take an awesome vacation in England. I made jokes that she could walk blocks around me. I thought she would need to rest and take it slow! Was I mistaken. She kicked my butt!
Any way, I think I'll have a piece of key lime pie and see if it makes me sleepy. Good night all.
Gershun..re high school reunions...NOPE, NOPE, and NOPE...I hate them. I did go to my ten year one...but didn't want to...It turned out being fun because in high school I was very plain, wore very little makeup and did not dress trendy ...like you, I was a lot taller than most of the other kids, even some of the guys and I got bullied a lot...so it was pure h#ll for me as well...the fun thing about my only reunion was that I had somewhat transformed myself over the course of those 10 years...I wasn't horrid before, but I had kind of transformed from a cocoon into a butterfly and no one even knew who I was....that made it fun...bunch of jerks...we had a huge all year reunion this past summer and that is one time my brother told me he would stay with Mama if I wanted to go. I told him, are you kidding me??? YOU are the one who is the big people person...you know I hated high school and had no desire to see those people again...he thought I was joking...I wasn't.
Veronica...you know what? I spent part of today looking at "tiny house plans" for something that would be "me" and would be cozy, little upkeep but just enough for me and the furtots....Would love to have that on about 50 acres...they might never see me again...the gators are a good idea...I wouldn't have to be there to light them to make them attack but would have to be on the lookout for my babies...Then again, I could get me one of those drone things and shoot at people from my upstairs porch....
It has gotten so late now I need to just go to bed and forget it though...I did better today than usual...One of my cats has a headless chicken toy that she loves to play with...and now she has decided to play with it in the middle of the night. she is so funny...Makes the cutest little bubblings sounds as she's throwing it everywhere....
I dream very troubling dreams..crazy stuff mostly Jeanette....make no sense kind of things...I used to have the most vivid colorful meaningful dreams...now it seems they are always involving my handling something very sad and depressing...which I guess just goes with the current territory...OK..I really am going this time..sorry about all the long winded posts.... Love you all...good night...
But I have seen some of those people since then and they all look so old. I look much younger than my age. So I guess I get the last laugh. Boo Ya!
The same kid used to sit behind one kid name David and flick his ears. What a creep he was. We were both so happy when his family moved out of Jersey to Fl! After college, he came back and actually had the balls to ask David for a job in his business! It gave David so much pleasure to send him packing. Lol
Shara...wow...I guess I was not even thinking of coyotes being that far south...you know, once all my babies are in...there is something kind of cozy about hearing them howling up in the mountains...but when I first moved home I had no idea how bad they were here because Mama had always had cats here and they never seemed to have problems with them. Maybe it was because I had several foster cats at the time and could not abandon them so they all came with me..it breaks my heart knowing I was unaware or just stupid about how bad it was and I did lose several to them...But then I lost my sweet little one just a couple of months ago as well...and I was on extreme alert then...I guess you do what you can..and that's all you can do...but I do love nature..it is hard for me to hate anything that is just doing what it does...but I do bring my babies in at night now...speaking of...they are all piled on the foot of my bed as we speak...which I'm about to curl up right beside them....they sure do look cozy... :) sweet dreams...maybe I'll have one of my good dreams for a change...
But what doesn't kill you makes you stronger right?
They were home that night. Another time I just sent the best soup delivered to a friend because I didn't have a car. But I had more money then, and much time on the phone with credit card. That was crazy.
Have a good night, Sharadale, and everyone on here tonight who has already stayed up past bedtime. Tomorrow, we should maybe think of posting the bedtime rituals that give the sleepless a better chance of a good night's sleep.
Thinking of you, GERSHEN
Thinking of you, LUCKYLU.
HAVE A BETTER NIGHT.
Mina, I am so sorry to hear about your friend and you are in my thoughts and prayers. My great aunt and a former neighbor passed on from pancreatic cancer and it scares me how fast this takes a person.
CM, hearing about people getting early onset dementia in their 50's just scares me too! How unfair to have this happen at this stage in life!
I was bullied for awhile too, but it was in elementary school. It finally stopped in junior high as my main tormentor found herself on the opposite side of the volleyball net and my good spike to the nose was just an accident.....right? But after that she kept her distance and bandaged nose away from me and seemed to have developed a new found respect. I did not look like someone that would pack such a punch with a volleyball..... I was tall and skinny, looked like the blond Disney princess, Elsa, though I was by no means a princess! I also started wearing trendy clothes to "outcool" the girls that picked on me, and since it was a college town there were lots of programs, music, lectures, etc that my friends and I started going to there, so by high school the bullying didn't seem to happen to anyone, it was fierce in the elementary schools though and it is something that you never forget and shapes you somehow. I think I often take things I shouldn't more personally because of going through that. In many ways it made me stronger and try harder at things. I was never prepared fully for what I am going through now though with my poor Mom...never thought it would be this rough for so long. Each morning I go into her room it just tears me up that she is bedridden with so many problems.
QUESTION
My hair has been thinning at an alarming rate. So much so I'm scared to brush it. For the past 6 years I have been growing it out and now... it's HALF as thick as it was 6 months ago. I mean it's really getting thin... WAAAAHHH WHY?? I've been googling what to do for so long I've confused myself.
So here we are. I have thought of doing a Golden Retriever rescue but my husband would never see me, I'd be out playing and sleeping with the dogs.