I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
Regarding the grocery store..I remember shortly after Daddy passed, I would cry at the sight of a french creme twirl...that was his favorite treat...I loved them too...but it was a very long time before I ever bought one again. I think I may have had ONE since he passed...it made me sad....isn't that odd how we all do that...
Gershun, my Dad was a looker too! Very handsome and charming, with his British accent, he was quite dapper. My Mom was pretty as well, and pretty happy with him, after all, they did have six kids, wink wink! I used to look like my Dad, but now I think I look more like my Mom, you know how babies change, resembling their parents and changing back and forth, well I'm changing into my Mom, which ain't a bad thing, just weird.
Our dream was to go on a road trip in an RV with the dogs. Whenever we have gone on a vacation, we have missed the dogs so much! Our other though was to have a smaller place here, maybe 5 acres, and a lake house up in Northern Georgia. At one point this was really a possibility. We were offered1.5 million for our ranch, but I said no. I thought I still has about 10 years left in my career and my stepson was still in school, my mom and stepdad were still here, and I just felt the timing wasn't right. Shortly after that, they changed the zoning and now developers would only be interested if they bought up a bunch of the agricultural grounds around here.
What I have learned is that you never know what is around the corner, so to worry or to plan is such a waste of energy.
Bless you all, enjoy your evening.
WHAT? A cabin, by a lake?
Sheradale, your ranch sounds gorgeous, and I would love to see that part of the US! I've been to Miami on vacation. And have Cruised out of there before, but that is all. So you are a Jersey girl! I'll just bet you were trouble, not to stereotype though, just from your sense of humor, that is! It does sound like a great place to grow up in though! I've never been there either! Would love to see it too!
My dad was a bit different. Maybe 3 older boys had something to do with it but I grew up a bonafide tomboy, 4-H lover and my fav things are still outdoor stuff, fishing, fishing, boating, fishing...hiking...
BTW!! Tonight's starry lightshow is going to be spectacular!! Hundreds of falling stars... one after the other. My blanket is set up, my wine is chilling, took my big girl for a really long a** walk...puff puff, we both almost crawled home, anyway, if your skies are clear and it's warm enough, grab your best blankie and your best fur pup.... or spouse, your choice. :)
Hi Windy! Ya big hillbilly you!
I worked at a beauty salon as a teenager cleaning and making shampoo and conditioner, cleaning brushes and combs, all the crap jobs for $1.25 an hour! I worked every day after school for 2 hours.
I worked at several fast food restaurants, pizza places, and other restaurants. I was an assistant to a dog groomer, combing, brushing, shampooing and drying the dogs. I did taxes and accounting work on Saturdays one year while I was I college. I worked in several retail stores, auto and general merchandise. I worked at a Six Flags park. I all this was before I graduated college.
After graduating with a degree in Psychology and Sociology, I worked at an Easter Seals Sheltered workshop as a vocational trainer, I did drug rehab in inpatient as well as outpatient. I worked in a day treatment facility as a counselor for chronic schizophrenics who had just been released from the state hospitals in NJ.
I didn't start teaching until I moved to Fl. Then I was offered a job teaching students who qualified as Severely Emotionally Disturbed. As I got more eduction in education of students to with disabilities, I taught many different types of kids. Finally after 17 years in the classroom, I became a professional developer teaching teachers the most effective strategies for kids with special needs. I also became an expert in technology, instructional and assistive (such as software that reads digital text for students with severe reading disabilities or vision problems. I loved my job very much but when the chronic pain got really bad, I wasn't loving the travel and standing in front of groups. Another novel by Sharadale!
Maybe tomorrow
Gonna go lay in the back yard with my big girl....watch the meteor show and stars falling. Maybe a wish will come true.
I was kind of tired of the politics involved in my job. We had a small team and everyone had a different role. My boss was the typical administrator, incompetent and afraid that someone was out to get her job so she was a people pleaser and said yes to everything whether we could reasonably do it or not. She didn't really care because she just assigned it to me or one of her other flunkies.
It is really hard working for someone that is so much less intelligent than you. I was always told I should be an administrator, but was not interested in spending my days in meetings getting nothing done and picking up a pay check for it. So fortunately when Momneeded me, I was able to retire with a pension, but the health insurance is more than half my monthly pension check!
This morning out of the blue she told me "I know you are getting tired of having to fool with me".....I said why on earth would you say that Mama...I will never get tired of you...we are having a fun time...she said..well, ok....I kept trying to reassure her I wold be nowhere else but here...I was trimming her hair, her fingernails and having a long extended breakfast with her and she has started talking about "them"...and seeing people doing things...and saying "here I go"...and almost sitting up in the bed and looking like she is looking for something or someone...but yet she said she is feeling really good and she truly seems to feel better than she has felt in a long long time..
I have been through this before...these sudden active bursts...the lucidity...I know it doesn't necessarily mean anything, but then again, I know it could...I am staying close to her....When she told me that she was going...I asked her if she'd like to go..and she said well, maybe...I told her...that I loved her...and I wanted her to be happy and as long as she is hapy I wanted her to stay..but if she ever felt like going that it was ok....that we would not be apart for long.....
This is the oddest thing,...she has not seemed so comfortable and so happy in a very long time......but it is scaring me to death...yet in my heart I know that even now we are not alone...I am sitting her watching her and she is looking at things I cannot see...moving her hands towards things that aren't there...I wonder who all is here with us even now...I wish I could see them....
I'm just going to ask God to tell me what to do....I only pray that if we are close to that oint that I can remain calm and be here for her and let her go gently. I'm almost afraid to walk away from her, but I guess I need to remember God has handled this all along...and He will handle it now.....
We have spent a beautiful morning together...I'm going to try to be strong.
Lucky I am praying for you...I understand how frightening it is right now...but you are not alone...you are surrounded by a host of angels and God's love and all will be with you all through this journey...I can feel it...I know it is true...
There are a few of us that have wondered about taking antidepressants and it masking our grief. I don't think I could have made it through the past 3 years without them. About 18 months ago I stopped taking them, within 2 months I was so depressed I could barely function, mom was still able to function somewhat on her own, thank God... for my sake as well as my mother's future sake, I immediately went back on them. So yeah, you luckylu are a strong woman. Yes, there is a lot to do when your loved one passes. Then you get the joy of filing taxes for them...just more stuff to bring up memories...ahhh
CM, now that was funny!! You should post that in "You know you're a caregiver if". LOL, you start caring for everything, including scruffy rhododendrons. ha ha
The meteor show was spectacular... I saw at least 20 falling stars. Some zooming across the sky, others slowly falling while burning out... If it's clear tonight I will watch again. My big girl wasn't too happy with it, I believe she was afraid of the dark!! LOL!! Every little sound she jumped... I could feel her big butt shivering... no, it wasn't cold either...hehe. Yeah, be afraid of the big pitbull ! Oh oh, I saw 4 drones buzzing around also. Those things are everywhere...sneaky little bastards!
Those big black flies do BITE! I detest anything that buzzes around me.
Oh Hope...I'm choking up here as well. Take these wonderful days your mother is having and hold on tight, cherish every moment with her. It's no wonder she is feeling better with the awesome care you give her. Hang in there girl... you've got this :)
You could be so tired that you might not of thought about it. What about Hospice sending a nurse just one night? I am with you on the less medication choice. You know yourself best. If you do ever need something, ask your doctor for something you can take (p.r.n.) whenever necessary instead of starting on a course of meds you take all the time. Trying to be there for you, we all are.