I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
SUSAN, it never ends does it? Stay strong Sweetie, and let life happen the way it will, but I know it's so hard to let her go. I am thinking about you and praying for your Mom!
Well, I officially have a good headache...had a really good breakdown in front of our hospice folks...and it was a bad one...but you know, I actually feel better now. I think sometimes you need to just get it out of your system...I haven't cried that much in a long long time...
Well, here comes the weekend...does everyone have big plans? I'm sorry that was not funny I know...about to go sweep the driveways and sidewalks and pick up the leaves....I think I am going to venture out and see if that lovely set of sheets is still at that off price big store..can we say those names on here? rhymes with Mess for Less....anyone..not counting on them still being there.why I didn't get them when I saw them...I am notorious for that..but actually I call it being cost conscious..I used to buy things on a whim and regretted it later...ended up returning a lot and also with way too much "stuff"...but these were a beautiful soft yellow, high thread count...with the prettiest antique red roses all over the sheets...they were beautiful...so after thinking it through I decided I want them....if I'm meant to have them, they'll be there..otherwise, no biggee. I definitely think I need to just drive down the road if nothing else...just for a change of scenery...Going to have to find a way to do that more..otherwise I am going to lose my mind I am certain...
My cute little portable dishwasher was delivered yesterday, so I started using that today. Pretty tickled with it. I'd love to have a built-in, but that would entail tearing out all the kitchen cabinets (both upper and lower) and installing new ones, plus a new countertop, PLUS new electrical outlet under the cabinet, etc - which could lead to even further work, given the age of the house and the wiring. So portable it is, for now. Right now, I'm washing all of the old canning jars from the basement. I plan to sell them, but it tugs at my heart strings to do it. I think I'll select about a dozen that I really like to keep for myself and maybe make "memory jars" filled with little trinkets from Mom and my grandmothers, and sell the rest.
This weekend, between today and tomorrow, I'm working on more sorting, tossing, donating, selling of stuff out of my storage unit. What a huge project. I've set up a folding table (like a buffet table) in the living room as a sort of staging area where I can stack things as I go through and decide what to do with them. The dog likes it - his bed is underneath, so it's like a cave....except the cat is on the bed now and the dog is on the hard floor.
Sunday we're taking Mom out to a local orchard and petting zoo - all of my siblings are coming along, so it will be a nice family outing. I'll have to be sure to get pictures. Then it's back to the storage unit to get another load of stuff to sell/sort/toss/donate and the week starts all over again.
Email from the mother of GC1 today - the one that threw a fit about me sharing pictures of her child because the non-child-support-paying father of the child *might* see them...."sorry if you felt I was being mean, it wasn't intended that way". Riiiiiight. She's just showing me once again how unstable she is. She throws a fit until she gets what she wants and then acts like nothing ever happened.
That is sad but, as I have said before, it has also given me a new freedom. I have to divide my time between my mom in PA and my grandchildren in NC. I can do this and not worry. After all, even if I am there, she doesn't remember it a few hours later. Conversely, I am in NC right now but my mom doesn't know I wasn't with her this morning. Tricky but true. And liberating for me.
Country mouse, I didn't mean to type Cam. It was supposed to say CM, lol
Also, I told him that I will be getting up earlier, we no longer share a bedroom. He has two doors to his bedroom and he can close them. If he wants to have breakfast with me, fine. I am a day person and want to get my house work done between 7am and 2pm. He is a night person. I am very behind in house and yard work because I am too tired to work after 2pm.. In other words, I have to set aschedule I can live with. He always worked 2nd and 3rd shift. Never changed after he retired.
And, you all ar the only people I am sharing this with, but with my on life problems and now his I self medicated for yers with alcohol. It has been a little over 30 days dince I've had a drink. It vosts too much, doesn't really help and above all I want MY Life back. I will of course be there for him. I made the vow of "in sickness and in health" and I ment it and still do.
I just write this because it is such an odd feeling to feel this way. The only way I can express this is that it is like being a jelly donut that has just had all the jelly sucked out of it and in it's place custard is being squeezed in from the othr end. Same person, differnt perspective.
Anybody else ever feel like this? Am I flipping out or have I taken a step forward in my task to be a care giver??? I just hope this feeling stays.
Next day was appt with her gastro and he said we had 4 more weeks of mess and no bringing baby to our house. Have been missing her so much, hubby and I will have to visit at her house again.
Mom has been feeling good, but I noticed her going to the bathroom frequently. I asked if she was ok. Yes. Does she have a UTI? No Is the diarrhea back? No. Okay. She comes back from the bathroom, I think I might have a UTI.
I had even told the dr when we were there that one of the side effects of Vancomycin is UTIs and she got one last time and the other doctor put her on CIpro and that brought back the CDiff! He said if it happens again, get her drinking cranberry juice. When she told me that she might have a UTI, I told her to take two Cranberry pills since we don't have juice in the house. She also complained last time about drinking it! She used to love Cranberry juice!
Any way, the fact that she has this possible UTI is making me stress out. Things have been going okay, but this little glitch makes me a bit crazy.
Don't really have big plans for the weekend. Will probably just try to enjoy the last days of summer. Has anyone heard from Jeanette? Last time I heard from her she wasn't feeling well. Hope she is alright.
My little dishwasher is getting a workout today.
Sorry to hear about your loss CM, but your Aunt was blessed to not suffer.
So wonderful to hear that.
The prednisone made me wake up every thirty minutes last night. Will be so happy to be over this walking pneumonia and have clear lungs again. Ugh! I love to see my Mommy smile also. It makes my day also when some days she will be so happy and say thank you!
I have a bad feeling that I will be the one with dementia because I am already forgetting things at 59.
College, I hope you feel better soon.
I know I'm missing a lot of what's going on with everyone else, but know you're in my thoughts and prayers for all that's going on. I wish this system would let us review everything posted previously as we're creating a post and not just the current page so we could respond to everyone.
Found several things my son and his gf can use in their apt. while cleaning out my boxes, so I'll put everything together for them. I probably have enough for 3 households. LOL I used to clean college student rentals and am finding a lot of things I don't recognize - they must have come from the rentals we cleaned. Those kids used to leave a lot of really nice stuff behind, and because it was either take it or trash it, it ended up in my storage unit when I moved. Why put an entire set of dishes, a Ninja blender and several very nice pots/pans in the trash?? The college kids didn't want them - fine - mine! One of the nice benefits of doing those cleaning jobs - though it hardly made up for the stuff we cleaned up.
I'm so happy to be talking to my son again. There was a hole in my heart for about a year while he wasn't speaking to me. I've made it clear that my stance on the child support issue hasn't changed - he still needs to take care of that. But I'm happy to have my son back, and hope he won't subject me to that sort of emptiness again, just because I insist he be an adult and take care of his responsibilities.
Mom was absolutely cranky earlier today - demanded that they do something aobut the shower chair they use with her, or she was going to start refusing the ONE shower she gets a week, and complaining about the PT guy that dealt with her today. Sheesh. Never saw her so cranky in my life. Got the problems solved, though - they will start using a bedside commode to shower her so her feet aren't dangling up off the floor (Mom's short) and PT is over now, so that's no longer an issue. But boy, did she have an attitude!!
Thanks everyone for the tips for my pupster...She is trying I think and she's such a sweet dog....she had a couple of accidents today but it is the weirdest thing because no matter how much she goes out or how often, she seems to think it is her duty to retain just enough to annoint the house when she comes in...she seems quite proud in fact.
Mama seems to hae had a much better day today and I sure am thankful. I bought some maraschino cherries today and blended some of them with two of her ensures and she really enjoyed that...i have a lot of variety with her ensure and that is one of her favorites...it tastes a lot like the Whitehouse Cherry Vanilla ice cream...she seemed happy tonight..thank you Lord....
Everyone is tucked away now and my big boy kitty is asleep on the foot of the bed...so I am going to see about watching one of my spooky shows to fall asleep to...hope everyone has a nice cozy evening...
Bless your Mom's heart...Mama had moments like that at times and I'm convinced that a lot of it is their reaction to knowing they are no longer able to be in control of things any longer...It's so sad , isn't it...
Anyhow, Hope and everyone else have a great sleep. Nitey Nite.
So I gave her two Cranberry pills and told her to take two more when she took her other meds. I also made a special trip to the drug store to find some stuff called D-Mannose which is supposed to help. She can't take AZO or Cystex because they make her vomit. So I come back from the store and she says, did you get it? Yes I say and you need to take two before you go to bed and drink this cranberry juice and plenty of water. I got to bed early to spend some MUCH needed quality time with my DH. I wake up at 4:00 a.m. with pain (normal) and see the package still sitting there untouched next to her chair. She drank the juice but not the water and I know she took her other meds because she made a snack. Why did I fly to the store?! Because I love my mom. Whine over.
Needless to say I am feeling extremely depressed these last days but have to gather strength and fight through another day.