I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
One thing for sure, I am really glad my grief counseling starts this week. For some reason I really want to figure out just how all this crazy shit came about with my family. I need to come to the realization that my parent's are not coming home again and be okay with still seeing my mom laying in the living room. It also would be nice to look at all the pictures from these past 3 years and thinking of all the fond memories without crying. At times I feel just like a little girl and all I want is my mommy and daddy to give me a hug.
Hope, rain? Ohhhhh lucky you!! We've been praying for rain in the PNW, some have even done the "Indian rain dance" it's so bad here. Lots of fires and the skies have been filled with smoke. So much so it's hazardous to go outside. he he, I've been blasting "shake it off" all morning :) ahhh....
Susan, I can't help but think that some of your moms symptoms are just the disease and nature taking it's course. Just when you think you've got one thing under control another one strikes. Those UTI's cause so much havoc and when it's cleared up, your loved one is even further along... (((hugs)))
Book, girl I know it isn't funny but really now, I got a serious chuckle envisioning you telling dad you're gonna charge him when he spreads his uhm, stuff all around making such a mess!! I hope you meant it and actually DO IT!
Stace, no more projects for me!! ha ha, I'm hoping to finish up the molding today... gads, it was a much bigger project than I anticipated.... those youtube videos made it look soooooo easy. Phhhhbbbttttt on that!!
Gershun, I hope you DO NOT come down with what I had... seriously just couldn't move for days, poor dogs had to wait while I struggled out of bed so they could eat, on the plus side, good thing dogs like to sleep a lot!!!
I hope all of you are having a relaxing as possible Sunday. Again, thank you so much for being my lifeline during as Gershun said, shitty days. It will get better.
(((HUGS)))!!!
I know it's impossibly hard Jeanette....But maybe if you can remember, as I am trying to do..but most of the hateful crapola that comes out of them usually comes straight from the mouths of their SO...My brother NEVER acted the way he has ..first with the one..and now with the other...and the ONLY way we are "working" now is because I am just trying to put it behind me, because he's never going to "get it"..he's never going to acknowledge what his actions and words have done to me and to my heart...
Friday the hospice director was talking to me and during my meltdown asked me what their company could do to help me...she told me..no matter what it is...as far out as it may sound...tell me what you need or what could help you and let me see if we can help you. She meant it too...how incredible they are...but like I told her...I appreciated that very much, but what was wrong with me could only be fixed by God, because what is wrong with me is my heart is totally broken....
I don't want to get that upset anymore...I had a slight migraine developing Friday morning, by the time I was done with my crying jag my migraine was over the charts...I was in PAIN the rest of the day and my left eye is still somewhat blurred...plus the chest pain that goes with it every time..so for my own health, emotional and physical, for MY sake, I cannot allow myself to LIVE in the pain and hurt any longer....
It is obvious they do not care , none of them..so I am going to have to find a way to care enough about my own self to stop dwelling on it...and for me that's really hard to do, but I feel as though my very life depends on it....
My mental health seems to return most readily when I try to remain peaceful..and I just keep reminding myself that I am doing what I do because of the love and respect I have for my family...and so God will help me do that....Stay strong..you are stronger than most even in your weakest moments...much stronger than you know. I think we all are...
Caregivers are dealt a bad hand most of the time...but we continue going long after most folks would have stopped and walked away...we can be proud of that...and be at peace.
I've had many many of those chest pains of hurt these past 3 years and yes, my mental health returns when I remain peaceful, which means I now need to remain free of family for awhile.
On Sundays,my Aunt and Uncle come to play cards at 5:00.We play Uno.Its always a good way to see how Mothers mind is clicking.Then Ill have to make more mashed potatoes and gravy because thats all Mom will eat besides chicken noodle soup and jello.My whine...
Hope, yes the fires here in the PNW are just Awful, but here where I am, it's not so bad, it is extremely dry, and there have been some house fires and of course fires along side of the freeways, and the smoke in the sky comming from the huge fires over in Eastern Washington, where 3 firefighters have lost their lives, and one is in hospital with terrible burns over 60% of his body, absolutely heartbreaking! Firefighters are incredible human beings, putting their lives on the line to help others,and their families must have to worry about whether they will come home to them, its just tragic!
I hope everyone has a beautiful Sunday! I've got a bunch of paperwork to complete emergently, so I best get to it! Tada!
Hope, try to not let yourself get so upset. I know what you mean about headaches after crying. It always happens to me. I've gotten real good lately at stopping my tears cause I feel like bawling at the oddest times. In grocery store lineups, a touching commercial, you name it.
Anyhow.....God Bless all you wonderful caregivers.
We haven't seen the sky in 3 days now... the moon was almost blood red last night. The air is very still and it's quite eerie outside. News says we are to get a wind that will shift the smoke. Hopefully said wind will not fuel the fires :(
I think writing a book would be an awesome idea!! Wonder just how many chapters it will need. Hmm, let's see...
1. You Know Your a Caregiver If...
2. Funny Things Said...
3. Uncaring Siblings/Family
4. It's All About That Poop
feel free to keep adding chapters ! LOL
My whine moment getting a phone call while on holiday saying the purchase we were making has fallen through as she split from her partner ...and we have to be out in 5 weeks ...eeeeeeeeeeek homeless with a demented mother is going to be horrendous. Hotels for a month
Slept poorly last night due to shoulder muscles sore from last two days of manual labor. Took today off as I have a dreaded landscape task for a client I have been procrastinating too long. Cool temps though will help.
Wish I could send rain to the PNW as we had a few weeks of dry weather but rain in the past couple of weeks have greened up everything again.
Chapter 5 - Driving all over hill and dale.
Chapter 6 - Waiting room etiquette
I've been having Avatar war's with Windyridge, trying to get him to post his own Pix. But he won't take the bait, so I'll be changing mine again, this time to one of my darling Grandson's, Kayden and Cannon.
Jude, No! Oh I am sorry your house purchase has fallen through, but hopefully it will be a blessing in disguise, and you will find one that is even better than the other! I hope you enjoyed your holiday, and your Mum behaved herself! Have you brought her home with you now? Just more pressure you didn't need right now! Are you working with a Realtor in your search for a new place? I pray that everything works out as you would like! You take care of yourself, and tell us all about your trip too! I would Love to hear all about it,as you sure deserved to have the best of time, and a good rest away from it all!
HOPE, I hate those crying Headaches, they put so much pressure in your sinuses and eyeballs! Try a decongestant, it may alleviate some pressure and pan!
You all take care now!
Jeannette Chapter for your book Chapter 6: Everything you wanted to know about C-Diff but we're afraid to ask. Chapter 7: Who are you? Who who who who? Chapter .8: Gotta Pee Gotta Pee Gotta Pee Gott Pee, Lead me to the bathroom Gotta Pee (ballad of the UTI)
And you, Stavey B, you troublemaker. I told you, just visualize Jed Clampett. I could be his twin brother. And your latest pic...That must be you a couple years ago.
CHAPTER 10: Gotta Poo, Gotta Poo, Gotta Poo, OOPS!
Anyway, I wanted to tell you there is a song for it... Let it Be....
Watching a marathon of Flipping Out that I recorded.this show cracks me up.
12. A Love Affair w/the Ladder/Step Ladder at 90+ (or falling off same)
13. GPS: Finding the Car (It's
#14. Celebrating a Big Event....Now this chapter comes w/some cautionary words, mainly to the effect that you need to be prepared for the possibility that the first 5 people you greet at your LO's "Big Event" (i.e., my Mom's wonderful 90th B'Day Party) may well be total strangers. In fact, you may find they barely know your LO, having just recently met, in that wonder world of wonder worlds, otherwise known as the WalMart Parking Lot. Seems your dear LO, unbeknownst (YIKES.....do we still use that word?) to you, has developed a bad habit of locking her keys in the car. These truly lovely good samaritans (ranging in age from 30 something to 60 something) came to her aid. In gratitude, your LO has invited them to the "Big Event".....and wonder of wonders (truly, even more confabulous (is that even a word?!) than the out-of-this-world wonders of WalMart, they all so like your fabulous, celebrated-on-this-day LO that....they've all shown up! Now, the good news is that this is certifiable, proof positive that YES, there are wonderful, generous, kind people of all ages who go out of their way to help total strangers, who are unknown and elderly. The bad news? I' m not gonna go there....sorry, started w/ a chapter title and wrote a fable....well, half asleep and going back to bed. Storms came thru....and, as my evil twin in compulsive yard work knows (luv ya Hope), that means an early, busy day outside.....best to all...
Took mom on a family outing to a local apple orchard/petting zoo yesterday. She seemed to enjoy it, but watching her trying to remember how to use the controls on her scooter was painful for me. When I mentioned it to my siblings, older sis commented that she seemed to do fine and I should just enjoy the time I have with her while I can. Ummmm....right. You weren't the one having to walk right beside her the whole time we were out to reassure her that she was going in the right direction (she asked often) and to help her figure out how to get going in the right direction again once she stopped, and to take over the controls and turn her scooter around because she couldn't wrap her mind around that one at all. As far as I think the siblings have come, they still don't quite get it sometimes. SMH.
Got quite a bit more sorted and organized this weekend, several boxes emptied and put out for trash, 2 large lawn/leaf bags filled with trash and will be meeting a couple of folks tonight to sell them $75 worth of my stuff. Gotta love the Facebook local yard sale groups. Took more pics of stuff to list and sell on the yard sale group and/or Ebay today, and hauled another load of stuff out of the storage unit to the house to start sorting.
Crunched numbers on the budget over the weekend. Oh. My. Gosh. I better do some serious upping of the online sales of stuff is all I can say, because I can't possibly work any more hours. (I tried and failed recently on that one.) Scary, scary numbers are coming up.
To top it all off, today is the deadline for the remainder of the proofs that Medicaid needs, so I need to get that turned in. I'll call to see if I can email them to make it faster.
Have a good day all!