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My Mom has been coughing...wonder if she has this respiratory thing that is really going around. I hope everyone feels better soon. Take care of yourselves and try to eat and get rest when you can.
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The cold Hospice nurse just left.While she was here she went through Mothers Hospice book and pulled out papers we no longer need but as I was going through those papers she said were trash I found our very important paper from the government that said we won the appeal when they tried to take Mother off service last Halloween.It has important info and phone numbers I might need if Mothers Hospice gives her any more trouble and it states we won the appeal.I guess she thought Id throw it all away but I keep Everything.I will be sure to mention this to the social worker coming on Thursday.We just have a nurse that likes to muddy the waters.We have enough problems without her stuff too.It sure upset me though...I hate games!
Its Tuesday again,so were heading to the beauty shop at 1:00.Mothers hairdresser says Mother is too fragile to wash her hair,so its just a comb.Mothers hair has always been very important to her and she wears it high on her head in an old Victorian style with lots of curls around her sweet face.Growing up,its how I could always find her in stores,etc.Anyway.......
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Luckylu - do what I do hun if we have anyone who wants to trash anything then I just say you may not trash anything - I keep all the notes of Mum's care as her POA and I insist you let me have everything so I can file it appropriately.

While I don't particularly need most of them, when Mum was last taken into hospital I still had all the printouts of her condition at that time for comparison as well as her discharge summaries going back years and the paramedics said it was so helpful to have a full picture as mostly they are merely going on what they can see with no comparison available to them.

You may not need them - they might be trash (to her) - but then again they belong to your mother's care and who the hell is she to just dump them. Im sure if you tackle her head on she will back down or at least get some spark of her attention going - grrrr that makes me so cross.

Failing that just stamp on her foot hard - she will remember to tread lightly around you next time!!!!!! no no bad girl falcon....what the heck do it!
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JeanetteB Chapter on how to recover from shock when you find a consultant that DOES actually do what it says on the tine - he consults with you in a language you can understand. Yayhay I have one of those and he is stunningly amazing and his junior doctor would have my heart all of a flutter 3 years ago (ok 40 years ago!) cos he was just stunning too but in a slightly different way!
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Well I have managed to find an apartment in exactly the same block as the other one - not as nice now but considerably cheaper so it will be as nice once its done up so all systems go again - god I hate this malarkey
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Glad you found another place, Falcon. Maybe the facility can keep mom a little longer to give you time to get set up and minimize movements. It's ALL about HER, ya know. Take care of you and enjoy the eye candy:)
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Hope I admit to some prurient curiosity about AM too - it feels a bit like passing a massive car crash on the other side of the freeway, don't you think? You feel you ought not to stare but it's terribly hard not to. But sympathy? Ummmmmm, not really. Not for the people who signed up, anyway. It absolutely fascinates me that the terrible havoc being wrought on their families, for whom I do feel a great deal of sympathy, as I would for any other blameless party on whom such misfortunes might be visited, is blamed on the hackers. Come again? What, the hackers obliged these people to believe they were entitled to transgress in private, did they? On the internet, yet. Seriously, what can you say. If you can't do the time...
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Well then, since it seems to be confession time ;) , I did sign up to AM to take a peek, it was quite awhile ago and I have since forgot my screen name and all the rest so to me, it must not have been that interesting :)))

Gershun and Shar, there is nothing more tranquil than floating down a river. Since it's been a very dry hot summer the rivers are low and warm which makes for PERFECT floating. You tie your tubes or what have you together...and sit back and enjoy watching nature. You can do a 2, 4 or 6 hour float. Lots of little islands you can stop at and have lunch...we have a lot of Bald Eagles here and it's always such a delight to see them flying overhead... deer, beavers, minks, ducks, geese are all over... I'm really bummed I wasn't able to go this summer. I'm to scared to go alone...and it's really not recommended. Oh well... there's always next year.

Lucky, your hospice people always seem to shock me. How dare she go through YOUR hospice papers pulling out ANYTHING. Too me, that is such bullsh*t. Maybe that's why I seem to be public enemy #1 to my family. I just don't take there crap anymore. Not that I'm a know it all, but geeze, common sense to them seems to be missing. Again Lucky, I really am sorry they aren't treating you better. Hospice is supposed to be a welcome relief to you and your dear mother.

Hey, I DID have a good weekend, sorry if it sounded like I didn't. It was more about why does someone say we should do something this weekend then just disappear. Yep, it's all overrated lately. I have learned this summer how to entertain myself and trust me, I do keep me entertained. Example ; a young man was selling his "pocket bike" (google it so you can see it) he was trying to earn enough money to go on a school trip to Washington D.C., so me, being an advocate of teens and education, bought it. So, when I'm really bored, which isn't that often, I ride it around the back yard chasing my big girl or she chases me on it. LOL I'm to chicken to take it out on the street, that little bugger is FAST. Really, I'm such a tomboy it isn't funny. I'm more into outdoor things than going to the mall or out to a bar. Sure I like those places but...nature is more exciting.

Going to the psychologist today for some grief counseling. I just want her to tell me what the hell happened this past 3 years. Then perhaps I can move on without feeling like I did so many wrongs that made my brothers seemingly hate me so much that they barely saw mom for 2 years. Mom was always so LOVING and CARING to all of us... doesn't matter that she didn't recognize them or that she was a bit nutty. It hurts me so bad that they abandoned us like they did. See? I'm crying again just thinking about it. This has got to stop...I want to remember fondly of my parent's without breaking down crying all the time....

Gersh dear, sorry you are not feeling well... I wish your dear mother was there to nurture you back to health. I understand....
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JeanetteB Sweetie, it sounds as if some grief counseling is a great idea, to help you sort out your feelings about your brother's especially. But remember Babe, it is still early days yet, and the easy crying lasts a while, especially in one who was there and had the sole responsibility of caring for their loved one, you in this case! And crying isn't necessarily a bad thing, mostly it means you miss her deeply, and that you are a sensitive person in general, and yep, so much like me and all the rest of the carers on here, the bunch of saps that we are! Lol. I'll bet you get the positive reinforcement you so justly deserve when it comes to how your family treated you, and will help you to validate your feelings and teach you to disregard there abuse in the future, at least I hope so! Family pain and those feelings are the worst, and you will learn to dump those nasty memories into the round file where they deserve to be! We all Love You Honey!
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Alrighty then. Found out why my so thought friend (moms hospice nurse) didn't reply back to her wanting to get together last weekend. She had a better offer. She said she went on a poker run with her biker friends. I said, well sh*t, if there was a spare seat on one of the bikes I would have went!! Have my own gear and all. Helmet, gloves, leather jacket and some snazzy boots!! She was like OMG, that would have been fun!!

You see, as caretaker for my mother, I apparently transformed into a serious no fun person. My priority was my mother. Apparently she thinks I have always been that way. Uh no. I do have a problem now socializing after being pretty much alone for 3 years... one day
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When AM info started leaking, I figured it was karma coming to all those who purposely decided to have affairs. The news media were into it. I heard about the suicides in CNN lastnight. Now, I see a change in their tune. Go after the hackers. They must be punished. Get Real! These people purposely went on this site to Cheat on their spouses... Oops.., political correctness...have an affair. And like you all said, it's the internet. Everyone knows that hackers hack all the time: Walmart, Kmart, Target, Home Depot, even on the U.S. Dept. As for their suicides, I guess they couldn't handle how being found on this site has revealed their deep sexual fantasies to the world, and how hurt and angry and betrayed the family (esp. spouse) must feel. Imagine your friends and coworkers knowing this, too. Unfortunately, these people just didn't think it through.
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bookluvr, I was thinking the same thing about the AM information... it sounded so strange that people were angry at the hackers but not with the members who were on that website. Really now. In today world, everyone with cellphones that have Kodak moments, and with hackers going into websites, how on earth do people think they can still cheat and not be caught.

But there was an article in the Washington Post where a reporter signed up onto that website some time ago to see what it was all about. Since the hacking she wanted everyone to know that if the list of members is made public or reachable view the internet and people see her name, it was just part of her job as a journalist.

Wish people would learn from other people's mistakes... unless they think they themselves are invincible.
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Ok, my whine moment for the day. Finally after 4 months I decided to get back behind the wheel to drive. Since breaking my right shoulder the doctor said no-can-do for several months. Ouch, it wasn't user friendly like I thought. Even putting on the seatbelt was painful... moving the gear shift wasn't too bad.. but steering turned out to be painful, too, as I am not much for one handed driving. I am still going to rehab 3x a week.

Of course my parents are thinking once I am behind the wheel it will be road trip time to Target, doctor appointments, etc. I'm sure they have a long list ready. Except they are forgetting I won't be able to fold up Dad's rolling walker nor be able to lift it into the car for quit some time, if at all [I'm not spring chicken so healing takes longer]... nor will I be able to climb into the backseat to snap their seatbelts.
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OMG I remember trying to help dad fasten his seatbelt FF! He was always trying to "help me"...
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I don't cry anymore. I just get p.o ed and figure out a way to change my state of mind. Dear mother came up with a need (hey at least one a day, that's not too bad) but she attaches her emotional garbage to everything and that's what makes her so aggravating and offensive. She wanted a dvd I had. I had various copies Gave her one. How horrible of me! SHE couldn't figure out how to make it play. Here she had dragged in some poor soul to watch it and couldn't get it going. (are you laughing yet?) Told her I'll give her a different one. Did that. Today, nasty, nasty insulting emails because she didn't like the one I gave her. (bring in a bucket: I could puke). Experimenting with how to NOT enable her nasty behaviors, at long last, I politely asked her to discuss why or what happened with the dvd and not to use put downs to me because I cannot deal with her at all if she continues.

You could almost hear The Queen's, "Humph!"

I am so sick of her abusive, mental illness. Plummeted daily with her crazy behaviors I find my patience and compassion whittled down to zero.

Hey anyone out there know what I mean? ha
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Yes Judd I know of what you speak. I have recently started
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Sorry hit the button by mistake, I have started Judd to completely ignore her nastiness. I have been conditioned to react to her put downs over the many years. No more! I gathered a lot of courage from these pages. The bottom line being- I don't have to tolerate it. I can leave. No one not even mother has the right to treat me like crap.
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Freqflyer, if I were you, I would be Very careful jumping right back in to your in depth carers role or you may ruin that newly healed shoulder of yours! While you may start driving, and the sounds of it, it is still darn painful. I would start by doing your own life living, ie: driving, light lifting, and strengthening ever before letting your parents know that you have been given the green light to resume extracurricular activities, or else you will surely set yourself back even a few weeks in recovery time, and you can't afford to lose any headway at the juncture. Hopefully your parents have others that can do their bidding for a few more weeks! In the case of one of my sisters, she had only been post operative 3 weeks from a serious back surgery and completely ruined her back once again, helping my Dad up from a recliner, that was 13 years ago, and her back is seriously ruined for life now, it's tragic, and she is in severe pain every day since because of it. Please take care of yourself first if at all possible, and keep those updates private until you are certain that you are really ready!
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Thanks friends....I guess I am curious, but so far so good on venturing there...trying to keep it that way..

Katie..Mama has been coughing a good bit..I can't tell if it might be that respiratory thing going around, or the extra secretions...those little patches do help that for sure...and I have used them since the first weird episode, with none of the former suspected side effects...who knows what that was about....there are definitely some bugs going around...I hope she gets to feeling better soon...

Lucky, the minute I saw your post and the mention of that woman, I felt my butt muscles tense up...I am trying to be more dignified lately, but I swear, I'd have to drop kick her behind over the moon. Who the heck is she to go through YOUR things and trash anything....I agree with Falcon completely and I love the idea of stomping on her foot...and other things....grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.........grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

CM... re AM...totally agree. While I do feel so much sadness and sympathy for those who were the innocent bystanders who had not clue...the ones who are guilty of "looking for ways to cheat???" ...meh..not so much....yep, if you can't do the time.....
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Jeanette...from what I am hearing now, there is some list you can look at that does not require signing up....I don't know...I'm still too cautious about even peeping at it lest my name or email ends up on there.....but you're right...it's like a car crash, train wreck, etc...you know you don't need to look, but it is so hard not to peep...totally agree...why are they up in arms at the hackers ...what a mess....

had to run a couple of errands today and just got home to have a car pull up and a man get out and call my name. I couldn't see him for our row of hedges, but it was our chaplain..but he came at a good time. We had a nice visit. Mama even woke up a short time and he had never seen her awake...

We are having our first glimpse of true fallish weather and it is heavenly...so nice and cool..definitely know I'm a fall person...no doubt about it.

Jeanette...oh how I'd love to go floating down the river or wherever...that would be so much fun... you know, I'm with you re lucky's nurse....grrrrrr....I still wish I could put a Miss Piggy wrestling move on that woman....the nerve of her..

Hate that wires got crossed with your hospice nurse and the trip...why can't folks just at least let others know what came up...little turkey... :)
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I guess I must be more of a tomboy...I can always find something fun to do outdoors....one of my favorites was always handing by legs from a low hanging tree branch...I used to do that a lot..even when I got older...I don't have any low enough to climb up on them up here...maybe I can find one up in the hills soon...and just hang upside down like a bat for a while...It clears my head....
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ff, this may be the opportunity to begin a transition from you doing the driving for them. It's tough when you're struggling to impress upon parents that even if they won't accept changes to them, they need to accept changes in you.

I've tried every which way to explain to my mom that we are also getting older and know our limits. So, no, I'm not doing the full blown holidays and family gatherings, but simpler versions, and yes, I'm aware that that's "not how we usually do it." I don't do things that will hurt me so please don't attempt anything that could cause you to fall because I can't catch you and I'll be calling 911.

It really hit me recently when I mentioned I'd be 60 on my next birthday and there was this silence, then a surprised reaction. I think for the first time, she'd realized the Everready bunny has battery issues.
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Hope I'd love to see you hanging upside down like a bat. You must take a selfie of it and make it your new avatar.:)

I'm still recovering from an ailment. Don't know what it is. I've had a pounding headache for days now and feel generally rundown. But I shouldn't complain. I've got it pretty good compared to some of you. Ta ta for now.
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For all those of you who are feeling ill or otherwise under the weather, do you think it has anything to do with the smoke in the air from all those forest fires? I do hope and pray that these fires are contained and put out soon for everyone's sake.
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Falcon, how disappointing and irksome that the first real estate deal fell through; however, who knows, you may have been spared from a bad situation (e.g. difficulty neighbours, a gas leak, faulty wiring, ghosts). I'm glad you found a new place so soon.
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JeanetteB, Hope, I guess that's another thing we have in common, being Tomboy's! I used to love spinning and hanging on the bars when I was a kid. In fact, just the other day my sisters were reminding me that when I was about 6, I would only answer to the name Timmy, because I wanted to be a boy. Apparently this stage lasted about 1 year or so. In this day and age, some children are going through gender identification issues, and it is incredibly difficult for them and their families. Thankfully I grew out of it, but for some it is such a real issue and a hard one fraught with bullying and suicide amongst young people. Tolerance is something that we can't teach our young people early enough in our society. I'm not sure why I got off topic other than to say that it was recently discussed in our family. We can all be more tolerant in this day and age! But we can still be Tomboy's!
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Globetrotter, yes, it's the fires. We cannot breathe outside but the nearest fire is one-two hours away. The over 100 ° weather plus humidity makes it seem like a tropical island, with less than ten minutes of precipitation--was that rain, or did a flock of geese just fly by? Whine? We had IN-N-Out for dinner, again, so good.
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Globetrotter I was wondering the same thing about the smoke in the air. Its not as bad where I am but I've been having a sore throat, and bad headache for a few days now. I sure hope too that they get these fires put out. It makes me so sad. For the people losing their homes and the poor animals and of course all of that beautiful vegetation. Its a crying shame.

As far as that gentrification issue. Have any of you watched I Am Cait? That new Bruce Jenner show. Its quite eye opening. I can't stand the Kardashians but I admire him for what he is doing now.

Not that I think you can't be a tomboy and still be a girly girl. I'm a real girly girl but I always got along better with the boys than the girls. Girls could always be so mean.
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Falcon, you give excellent advice. I particularly like the stamping of the foot. Perhaps on little nursie's face!?
Gershun, your mom sounds like she was as sweet as my little old grandma. She always made sure we had our favorite cookies in the house when we came to visit. And she starched and ironed the sweets.slipping into bed always felt so comfy, listening to the train horn off in the distance.
Hope, I am curious about Ashley Madison too, but they said they leaked the list on the "dark net" and I am so good, I wouldn't know how to get there.
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Globetrotter!! You nailed it! In my entire 51 years I have never had an upper respiratory infection until last week. The smoke has been so thick here you'd almost think something just outside your door was on fire... hello me, LIGHTBULB moment!! No wonder I couldn't move or breath for a week.... yep, don't even ask, I am a blonde ;)

Gershun, to be honest, NO, I have not nor will not watch Caitlyn Jenner. I have for years blipped in and out of the Kardashians tho. Sorry love, as much as he/she can supposedly show the world how hard it is to be a trans... well, he wasn't the first, neither will he be the last. To quote D.L. Hugley, (which is a smart man much more than a comedian ) the average man dies at the age of 75. Bruce/Cait is 67 already.... it isn't so much bravado to come out as a transgender with millions in their back pocket as it is so much as "crossing it off on his bucket list". Sorry if this offends anyone.... I happen to agree with D L Hugley. I am NOT saying I do not condone gender issues, hey, we know who we at a very YOUNG age. Okay, long story short, Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner did not have to make another kamillion dollars for me to understand life and to be kind to one another..................crap, share your millions ms./Mr. Jenner! he he...
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