I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
Drink water, know that we care.
DON'T NOBODY PANIC!
Mama actually drank a little more of her second ensure and some more water...I just think she may be at the beginning of a UTI as mentioned last night...the signs are there with her...I hate going the route of antibiotics so I want to be sure, but I definitely see most of the signs.
I hope you are feeling better Luckylu...and when all else fails, just remember sendme's wise words...DON'T NOBODY PANIC... hope everyone is having a good day...we got a nice little thunderstorm earlier and it sure was relaxing...I need to make a run to the grocery and had written down all the ingredients to make one of those yummy mexican chicken casseroles with all the sour cream, doritos, etc. and then I remembered...my oven is on the fritz...heck..I wonder if it would work ok to just do it and finish off in the microwave..I sure am craving something in the way of comfort food...and I need to keep busy
You are not a bummer! You are so precious in Gods eyes. Just see yourself as we all see you!
Stock up at the grocery store, everyone, hunkerdown at home for awhile, rest, drink your water, Susan, please drink your water! We all forget, even when trying to force our loved ones to drink more.
You all shoulda seen my husband and I chasing after the 80 year-old in his electric wheelchair, in 111°degree heat, trying to give him some water, ask him to go gome. He was later assisted by the fire department into his house four hours later. Who couldn't have seen that coming? That is so insane! Having no authority, we had to leave him on the busy street, his choice, poor choices, risking his life. Waiting was the hardest thing to do for me, to do nothing. Makes me wonder if there cannot be some kind of mutual respect in a caregiving situation, even when the patient acts out. Can't we fire our patients, our parents, our mom, or our husband when they act out?
I made a chocolate zucchin bread and in charge of cutlery and dishes. Will cut some flowers too.
Bought dad a new smaller foam bathmat as the one he had was a bit too big. And a binder to put in the cards he gets and his certificates for participation every month.
He was good at his happy hour yesterday and I hope tomorrow turns out well.
Going to take lots of pictures as I am sure he won't remember tomorrow visitors very long.
One hospital trip, this time, we truly thought mom was dying. And so like other times, we also contacted mom's siblings. They came as a group. Came in and were very nice with mom. To give them privacy, we went to the waiting room. Uncles and aunties sat together, talking and Laughing. My siblings and I sat on the other side, staring at them being so...jovial. This is not a party. Our mom is dying. Have some respect for us, her children. They just kept talking and laughing. I found it very upsetting. Mom did pull through again. Dad saw this, too. Afterward, he told us that from now on, when mom goes to the hospital, we are not to call them. We had No problem with that. I can count with one hand the number of times mom's siblings visited mom at home, bedridden. Yep, I had no problem with dad's directive.
Two years ago, when you all (posters in AC) told me that mom was dying and have about a week or two to live, I didn't believe it. How many times have mom gone through this? But you all kept insisting it's time.
Hope, this is what I did. I texted all my siblings and said that my very experienced online friends said that mom is going to die soon. I went next door and asked SIL since her mom spent 1year in the hospital before finally dying. SIL agreed that mom didn't have long. That's when I texted my siblings. Some wanted to know if this is the final one. I told them that it's up to them if they want to come home Or not. That's their conscience and what they can live with. Most of them came before mom died.
As for mom's siblings, I asked my siblings if we should call them. They all said no. I am soooo glad we all agreed. I can just see them arriving as a group, laughing and carrying on as its a party. I did feel soooo guilty and mom died and they didn't get to say their goodbyes. In the 23 years of mom diagnosed with dementia, her sisters and brothers came to visit her at the most 10 times. Less than 3 when she was bedridden for 13 years.
Hope, just tell the relatives that mom is in hospice service and they are welcome to visit mom while she's still alive. No one knows when she will leave us permanently. Don't be politically correct. Be blunt and throw the burden back to them. You already have enough to deal with. If your mom's siblings really want to know, they will find a way to make time to visit. Not your burden. Not your problem. Like I told my siblings, I'm telling you mom is close to the end. It's up to you and what you can live with- if mom dies.
Glad that the hurricane has been downgraded for everyone in it's path. Been through one and it is more powerful than people expect. The winds in a hurricane with all that water are so scary and I hope Florida won't get too much water.
I have even been told by more than one that I am difficult, and that maybe they would come more if I didn't act the way I do...I don't even know what they meant by that. I have always admired them, loved them, and pretty much thought the world of all of them. I don't even recognize these people...I don't even WANT to know them anymore. I am ashamed of all of them....Mama was an older sibling and as I've said many times...pretty much raised them all and gave them and her parents most of her paycheck after she went away to work in the "big city"...now I look back and I think they took advantage of her and Daddy...I resent them and their smart alec holier than though attitudes now. They don't have time to visit Mama or help me but always make sure to let me know they would come but revival is that week, or church supper...or one of their brother in laws needs to pick up his truck so he needs to be there to help him..oh yes, by da*n let's be sure to be there to help your grown a$$ brother in law pick up his truck...they've got more excuses than a dog has fleas...I'm done with them.
I saw some of this when one of my younger aunts died many years ago. She had had a brain tumor and after that was never quite able to talk plainly, and it actually messed up her head as well...it was so pitiful. Her husband did not treat her right, and God knows that...But when she passed, her children, who were still little at the time, of course wanted their Daddy at her funeral...of course they did..I would too. These jacka$$ aunts and uncles of mine pulled those children to the side and flat out told them he was not welcome at THEIR sisters funeral...they almost came to blows about it..(the dad and the uncles) the only two aunts of those kids who understood and told the others that that was their dad and they needed him there and they all needed to stay out of it...that was my Mama and my aunt who passed several years ago...my cousin often tells me now that my Mama and that aunt are the only two she has any use for because of the way they treated her daddy. I understand that. I would feel the same way. so I saw them act that way then...and now this way with Mama...well they can kiss it...
I am going to get me a tshirt made that says "DON'T NOBODY PANIC"....sendme...every time I think of that I start LOL...hahahaha...
Line 1. DON
Line 2 TNO
Line 3. BOD
Line 3 YPA
Line 4 NIC
If you really really want to confuse them!
Just like when my sibs tried to force me to find 'closure' with mom by touching her body and to lean over and whisper to her. No Way! I'm sorry if I offend anyone reading this. But I have spent 23 years of my life, (which is Literally half of my life) helping dad take care of mom. I have seen her change in personality, temperament, etc... I've seen her wobble when walking, when falling, when she could no longer chew solid food, when she no longer can control her poop/urine, when she no longer swallow even liquids, and on and on. I Did Not Need Closure!!! I have seen mom slowly dying for years. Nobody had the right to tell me that I needed to touch mom's body and whisper to her to find 'closure.' That is for THEM, not me. sigh.... Do I still sound bitter? The preparing of mom's funeral and the day of the funeral was just so, so difficult for me. No one cared that I couldn't find a sitter for dad DURING mom's funeral. They didn't care. It was my problem. I spent 23 years caring for mom, and I was go to be left at home to take care of dad during her funeral?! Like I said, something snapped inside me on the day of mom's funeral - with my siblings. If you looked at my post before mom died, I kept holding to our relationship-no matter how bitter I became from their lack of help. I clung to "we're family" concept. Then the funeral happened, and I no longer feel that way. Actions speak louder than word. Oh, man, I'm depress now.
Hope, you do what you need to do. If mom's siblings really wanted to know what's up, they would make the time to come and visit her, and see for themselves.
Then because of the horror that I experienced at my dad's funeral, when my grandmother died, I told Mom that I would go to the funeral home but I was not going in to view the body. I did not want to do that again. I was probably around 22, but it had really made me determined. My mom understood and my brothers did as well, but my aunt, who is really close to me saying don't you want to go in. I kept saying no, I don't want to remember her like that. Over and over she asked, over and over I said no thank you. Then she grabbed my alarm and said come, I will go with you and she started pulling on me and I snapped. I don't even remember what I said, I just remember after that she didn't mess with me and my brother took me outside to walk around the block!
Funerals suck! Now that I have found the Lord, I see things so much differently. I have had to say good bye to quite a few friends and brothers and sisters in Christ, but it has been a celebration, a home going. Although there were tears, there were also a lot of stories and testimonies about the person and their life. Not a bunch of liturgy or pomp and circumstance. For me the trauma is over. When my step dad passed, he didn't want a service, so Mom called me to the hospital so I could say my goodbyes if I wanted to. My husband was with me and it was okay because he lived to 96 and was so ready to go.
Nine points to ponder: Number 9. Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
Number 8 Life is sexually transmitted. Number 7. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. Number 6 (look it up) Number 5. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years. Number 4. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
Funerals here in the south, and I'm guessing all over the place, seem to become such a grand performance that to me, makes it even harder on the family...First it's all the folks who you often don't know from Dick's hat band with the casseroles and piles of fried chicken then it's a passel of people who you have not seen in years, sometimes decades, who , all of a sudden , decide the best possible course of action for them is to come and pile in on you and stare at you and seem to WANT to make you cry and try to tell you how you ought to feel, what you should wear, what your loved one should wear...etc...then there's the looooong viewing at the funeral home..my grandmothers began at 11:00 AM and lasted until 9:00 PM...yes...that's 10 TEN!!!! T E N freaking hours...piles of people waddling in and out and soon enough it turns to a reunion and people laughing and sitting on the front porch of the funeral home talking politics, etc. then there's the DINNER that the church ladies provide for the family..because after all, what do I want to do more than eat at a time like that...and then finally when everyone sees you are about to finally pass out and pass on, then you can lay your loved one to rest....NOT ME.
Nowadays I think it is perfectly acceptable and more often than not, the norm, to have a short viewing prior to the short service at the funeral home and then the burial...some of my friends have had a graveside service and that is it...some hae had nothing..I want to have something because I want to honor Mama's memory but I want it to be very simple, and very HER and I am going to make the arrangements the way I want them to be. I am quite sure my brother will be fine with it especially since all of the expense is going to be on me....but that is ok...
I am hoping all of that is a long way from now...Mama was laughing when I changed her just now, but she isn't eating much. I think I am going to ask for a script of levoquin Monday because I just have that gut instinct and it won't hurt to try at this point.
Lucky how is your Mom...I hope she is better...She and you have just been on my mind so much...
I ended up tonight not cooking anything. I needed to buy a few things for my cats and the pupster so I ran and got those items and called the local pizza place and got me one of those chicken carbonara bread bowls..OMG those are soooo good...I should have gotten just the pasta dish and left the bread part off but what fun would that be?? anyway, I was too tired and too stressed to think of cooking...I only ate half of it tonight and will have the other tomorrow so already done there...sure am hoping Mama sleeps good tonight...
Hope you all have a pleasant evening.
Sendme..that would create quite the confusion of the masses..I can see it now as they try to figure out what my shirt says...haha
Number 2 In the 60's, people took acid to make the world appear weird. Now the world is weird, and people take prozac to make the world appear normal.
Number 1. Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today might burn your axx tomorrow.
I feel sorry for those of you who have to endure all that other stuff. I've always been the kind of person who doesn't conform and put myself through unnecessary and uncomfortable situations. If it means everyone is mad at me, so be it. They'll get over it. And if they don't get over it thats their problem. Its their loss not mine.
"VERONICA's husband e-mailed me yesterday to say she is seriously ill....a burst appendix and sepsis...she has a long road ahead of her. Please, prayers for this awesome lady. I love her very much."
"V E R O N I C A is in very seroius condition...they (inserted) a feeding tube Thursday. She needs our prayers and love. She is one of us....a very important part of our community. Hugs and gratitude to you all.
I also had childhood traumas. I am Catholic, and Bookluvr I can appreciate how all these rituals can appear to be shrouded in mystery. The funeral mass is different from a Mass of Intentions. The funeral mass, sometimes called a requiem, is a specific mass, or church service, for the deceased, in which the coffin is brought in and the service is celebrated. With a mass of intentions, the mass is offered up for the name of the deceased, who is included in the celebration of the Eucharistic (the changing of bread and wine into the body and blood of Christ). Sorry for the detour, but because I went to a Catholic school and it was compulsory to take music lessons, one day the principal announced that we would have to sing at someone's funeral - a total stranger in the community. Being up in the choir loft and being terrified of fainting, blood, corpses and death in general I had a near dissociative experience in which I felt I was floating up from the pew and about to fall into the coffin below. Needless to say, every time I went to mass I had a panic attack. However, I was able to overcome this in my adult years.
That's why I was quite surprised at myself at how I handled dad's death; it was almost anticlimactic. I feel like it was a phenomenal developmental milestone for me.