My "whine moment today." What's yours?

Sendme2Help, that's so funny! Mom was always good at giving me mixed messages, it's a wonder I didn't develop schizophrenia (lol)! There is some research to suggest that mixed messages from parents are a contributing factor to mental illness.

Sendhelp, I loved your NINE POINTS TO PONDER, FUNNY!

TG, if you are asked to share in costs of the birthday party for your Dad that is far away and near sibs, what a great opportunity to bring up sharing Dad's expenses (snicker, snicker):) "Gosh, I'm so glad you brought this up. I've been trying to figure out how to politely bring up sharing Dad's expenses for travel and daily living expenses that I've been covering on my own. Since you feel those expenses like the part should be shared equally instead of being absorbed by individual hosting the event, I'm happy to present my bill after deducting Dad's expenses. I'm considering setting up a special bank account you can easily send money for him to." But I have a brother and SIL that I had to do that with, including after Mom died. She didn't live with me, but he mentioned post death having his expenses for her last visit reimbursed by estate...argh!

I cannot bathe because the bathtub in our bath is full of boxes that will go to Mom's new room, lol. Got news that the trusses are two weeks out. We would have had them ready but the idiot architect put a flat ceiling instead of the vaulted ceilings we have in the rest of the house! Argggg!!!

I tell you, this group is starting to help me like my siblings more each day! I have one brother (thee one Mom always said was most like me) who used to pay for Mom to visit him for several weeks at different times of the year. He has a huge family, 3 grown children with spouses and children. It was always easier to bring her home to where we all used to live. She had a great time because she got to go to her old church and connect to all her old friends. She would visit with her sister and all expenses were paid by him. That was always the high point of her year, but she always got sick upon returning because of the flight or exposure to different germs in NJ. She was living independently then. Now she refuses to fly and can't ride for more than an hour or so. I can't comfortably drive that long any way.
We used to take her to see my brother who live in GA, but that is a 12 hour drive. Even when we stop and spend the night somewhere it is still to much for her, so that trip is over. They don't even have a place to put her up since their guest rooms are all upstairs and don't think they would give up their room for anyone, lol. So if they want to see her, they have to come here.
TG, I think you should tell them that it is impossible for your dad to travel and you would be happy to attend if it was in your hometown.

SEAWALL SLAPPING. The latest sport to enter the olympics. Beginners tie themselves to a big rock so they won't wash out to sea. The sportsters intentionally stay there long enough to get drenched, and just before drowning, turn in their towel.

Okay my whine.... I hit my hand on something several days ago. I remember hitting it and saying "wow that hurts! " anyway it really really hurts. In between my pinky finger and the one next to it , right between and on he knuckles! I think I bruised the blood vessel that runs between. It does not look black and blue but looks swollen. It has been bugging me for a few days now so I finally cannot take it, thus the whine!

SEAWALL SLAPPING -DON'T NOBODY PANIC,!!!!

No Globetrotter, one really cannot mix epsom salts (magnesium) with the antibiotic CIPRO. That wasn't meant to be funny or a mixed message, but your post was funny.

Mom had a good checkup at the cardiologist today...but got home to find out that my daughter is having some health issues and needs a biopsy. I told her not to panic yet, that a biopsy is just a test, not a diagnosis, but I'm worried for her. Her past lifestyle may be catching up to her now in the form of health issues.

Had a lovely visit with son yesterday and got to meet my new grandson. He surprised me by telling me he had proposed to her the night before, and that he has contacted the court about the child support issue for his first child. I hope he's telling the truth about that. Now if I can just get the (mentally ill) mother of the first child to straighten out...doubt that will ever happen. Found out she was sending FB private messages to my son's fiancee all throughout her pregnancy, basically just taunting her about how my son must not love her very much if his FB profile pic was still of him holding HER son at birth, etc. There are proper ways to handle these situations - that isn't one of them.

TGengine, RSVP to the ' non-invitation invitation ' via skype.

Today's anticipatory whine. Husband will be having surgery sometime in the next 30 days for parathyroid issue. His parents live 10 minutes from the hospital where surgery will be done. I literally begged him yesterday to NOT mention when/where so that I didn't have his parents in the waiting room with me. I even offered to call and let them know once surgery was over and he could have visitors in his room if they kept him past day surgery. It took a 30 minute explanation of why I don't have narcissistic supply available for his parents while I am worrying about him. They cannot work any other way (example of past conversations Hubby: I lost my job and worry about money. MIL: Huh, well let me tell you about the two new cars we bought. FIL: and my new guns that my wife with Parkinson's will be shooting with me.) He doesn't want to hurt their feelings. If I have to, I will give cell number to nurse and go next door to Atrium that they cannot climb stairs into. So there!

Sharadale, two more weeks without a bath, wheeeew! Sorry you hurt your hand. If it's tendonitis, give it time to heal.

Hi All, I sure hope Veronica is doing better, and that LADEE1 posts any updates she may hear of, on THE WHINE thread. I'll post a quick note to her personal wall. Praying for Veronica!
It is still quite windy here in the PNW, and loads of destruction, but we are just fine now and the power has stayed on. Thanks for the tip on candle wicks containing noxious fumes. I do and did use some battery powered lights, and will invest in more for the winter storms we are sure to get. I was to bring pie andice ccream to our family birthday party last night, but couldn't bake because of No power, and two stores had no ice cream, so I got cool whip, it worked out. It was a very nice gathering of our 4 kids and 4 Grandies. My son's girlfriend's birthday, Love her and her little girl, Parker, now 5. It was held at my son's place, and it was nice to see that he has all of my Dad's Welsh brass swords and Pub decor up on his walls, it reminded me of my parents home. It was always fun to have all that pub brass on the walls growing up, and all my friends though it looked so Cool, and it did, we felt very British and my parents with their accents were always a big hit! Lol. That was the one thing my son requested from my parents stuff, I wish I would have thought of that, but he did, and my sister made sure he got all of it, and it looks really nice in his home. I'm very proud of all my kids, they all get on so well, and it makes our time together great fun! The Old Man didn't want to go because of the weather, so it was fun not worrying about having to leave early, and it felt normal not even thinking about him for a couple of hours, is that wrong? He can still be left alone for a little while, but is a constant fall risk, so John called to check on him twice. All my kids live very close to us, isn't that weird too, like my siblings, none of us Ever lived more than 8 miles from our parents. Mama's boy syndrome, I think they call that, lol. It's OK by me! Nonetheless, they all had a nice send off, and that's all we could hope for.
funerals, all of our parents prepaid for theirs, as well as requested some music and such. When you go to the funeral home after the fact, despite having the basics preplanned, they sure try to pile on, and yes, it could get very expensive! Thank goodness, when my Dad, our first parent to pass died, 5 of 6 siblings went to do the arrangements, and we were able to pare down on what they were Pushing, as you can get so many of those items elsewhere and we had a good idea of what we wanted. Even their guest books cost an arm and a leg, but purchasing that at a stationary store was much cheaper, and we did our own printing of memorial handouts. You must be very careful as you are intensely grieving and they can prey on you weaknesses if you aren't careful. Because my Dad was Catholic, and a proud British man, we had his coffin covered in his big Welsh Flag during the mass in church, nobody had ever seen that before! It was impressive! I Loved it, and he would have too! I am sorry some of you are having to think about these things, shoot, I'm thinking about this too, with the Old Man, but being prepared is the best way to go about it, and my only best suggestion is to Not Rush It. Doing a 3 day turn around is not feasible unless you have a lot of help, and even then, so not nessasary. Please give yourself a day or two to grieve, sleep, and then write your lists ans execute each item, and only after 2-3 days decide if and when you will have your service on, and give yourselves a break and that initial time to breathe. We rushed all 3 services for our parents, and we had tons of help, and in hindsight I would have done many things differently, but it is what we knew to do, and it is not so!

Gershen, Stacey: So sorry that so many people are without power, and in late-summer! A reminder to get prepared for winter, what ever that will bring.

tgengine....how is that supposed to be a treat for you and your Dad? Do they not realize how hard getting to and fro might be for yall..or am I missing something...I might ought to go back and reread your post...I'm not meaning to sound like a jackass....but I can't imagine anyone informing me that they had planned a NO expense paid trip for me to attend and bring all our stuff with us..oh, and get ready to chip in when you get here...................no.............

OK...went back and reread your post tgengine.....I think I'll leave my post as is............no...............good Lord, no........that sounds awfully hard on you dear.

Well, we've have two does of Cipro now, and Mama is seeming to get a little of her appetite back...Usually it is after the 2nd or 3rd dose...I am so hoping this is what the problem has been.....hoping and praying...

On a happy note...this is the start of College Football week 2015...We are huge college football fans and I have just order my sweet pup a little cheerleader dress as well as a little tshirt!!! yay..I'm so excited!

V E R O N I C A has been ill, and we all want to wish her well.
Ladee has been in contact with V's husband via e-mail. He has asked her to send him the get well wishes through her e-mail and he then reads them to Veronica.
Contact Ladee by PM (private message).
Another way is to post on Veronica91 wall.
Another way is to keep her in your prayers and keep posting throughout the threads of AC forum.
GET BETTER SOON, VERONICA. WE ARE HERE FOR YOU! Love from all of us!

Well its not windy here now but its sure pouring. We really need the rain though for all the poor firefighters fighting the forest fires. It actually feels cold in my place today for the first time since May.

I remember when my sister used to suggest family get togethers and she was just aghast when I told her it probably would be too much for Mom. I said if you want Mom at your place you can come and get her. Suddenly the plans would fall through. Hmmm I wonder why.............

Hope, enjoy your College football. I am a big hockey fan myself. I can't wait till October when hockey starts again.

Susan, I am happy for you that you got to see your new grandbaby and that your son sounds like he is trying to get his act together. Time will tell, right?

YES, hockey season and fall weather! Wish it would rain here. Weather has been uncooperative as far as the garden goes. Other sibling talking about all their upcoming vacations...while I haven't had a vacation for years.

Yes, thanks Gershun - it was a nice visit and my son does look like he's really trying.

Lots of drama going on with the first child's mother, but that seems par for the course with her. I'm tired of it, and if she chooses to cut me off from my grandson because of what she perceives as untrustworthy behavior on my part, there's not a lot I can do. I can't afford an attorney to pursue my rights as a grandparent and she knows it. What worries me is that the child is growing up with a very mentally/emotionally unstable mother, and nothing can be done about it, because she hides it so well. She shows all the signs of being a sociopath/narcissist. It's like Jekyll & Hyde - as long as things are going her way, it's all peaches and cream. But get on her wrong side and she'll pull out all the stops to do as much damage to you as she possibly can.

Stacey I had not even thought of those items. I could go ahead and get them now as well as create my own handouts as i could make them much more personal and am pretty good with things like that. For some reason, rather than upsetting me, it is somewhat helpful for me to be part of the planning ...maybe one final thing I can do nicely for Mama...And I do want it to be nice, I just don't want to do a lot of things that are unnecessary and are aimed at making more money rather than honoring the passing of our loved ones....

Mama has eaten better today. I am offering it more often and she eats less at each offering but that is probably better on her as she had not been eating. She sure seems to e resting better, and when she wakes and I start cutting up, she smiles...so that is an improvement. The rain has passed and I have been out sweeping our driveway, walkways, and getting the leaves that fell during the rain up so once again it has been restored to a spotless appearance...I think Mama would be happy with it..

As far as honoring your loved one after they pass I think simple and sweet is the way to go. All that pomp and circumstance is just that, pomp and circumstance. I really don't think it means anything to God. I've heard it said that if you don't feel close to God its not him who has moved, its you. Which therefore tells me you don't need a big chapel and a viewing and all that stuff.

I always thought a funeral was supposed to be a religious experience.What with all the prayers and so on. If you don't believe in God, well then you definitely don't need all that and if you do believe in God, he is just a whisper away. So make it simple. Just my opinion.

Please, all you atheists don't get on my case. These are just my thoughts.

I've always viewed the funeral is for the living and not the dead. Sometimes, people who want all that pomp and circumstance along with the most expensive casket are dealing with other issues which they are trying to resolve. As far as my own funeral goes, I want the least expensive box, with a very simple service by my grave and then please go on with your lives, enjoy whatever you end up inheriting, cherish the good memories and let go of the bad for I'm out of here.

Well said, Gershen and Cmagnum. I am not making any plans soon, but maybe if I go home to be with the Lord, before making my wishes known in a will, someone can look me up on AC archives and know that I was on this earth. And would love the idea of my name scratched onto a bench somewhere in a beautiful park.

Oh, Globetrotter, I get it now. You were referring to your mom's mixed message on Sunday, when she didn't want you to leave, and wouldn't let you back in when you came back. Yes, that was a rough day for you! Seems like it would be more likely to cause walking on eggshells when around her, or P.T.S.D.!

Sendme we have my Mom and my late brother's names etched onto a bench with a nice thought etched underneath their names. Its across from a pond in a nice little park across from where my Mom used to live. Its a nice place to just sit and remember her and my brother.

Of course we had to pay the parks board a sum of money to have it but its much cheaper than a funeral, coffin are. We also paid to have my Mom cremated etc. but all and all it was what my Mom wanted and that is what is important.

Geez I reread what I just posted and I think I overused the word nice.........:)

Sendme2Help, lol. Looks like I was giving you mixed messages of the semantic kind, that's what happens when I try to read and respond to all the posts. How does one review 10224 posts and do everything there is to do in a day, or a week, or a month......