I'm tired of cooking/preparing 3 meals a day. It's just the two of us but boy oh boy can that woman eat!! She stays slimish, I get fattish. It's bad enough I do everything here much less start making her one thing and me the other. At times I feel guilty when I buy her fast food cuz of the nutritional value....not to mention I eat it too.
Sorry can't think of anything:)
Susan, yea!You've seen your Son and Grand baby! That is Incredible! I'm very happy for you!
Gershun, I too tried to go back to reread this thread from the beginning, but I kept loosing my place, so forget it! Lol. I'm just happy to get to know you all right from the place I started on here, and I'm pleased with that! Everybody has such juicy lives and I started chiming in just after Gershun and Jeanette lost their Mom's, but missed the lead up, which sounds kinda morbid, although I don't mean it to be, just trying to understand the whole situation and back stories helps me to know you all better, but I like you all just fine! Pre or post, you are all my kind of peeps, and the guy's too!
Praying Veronica is recovering from her awful ilness, and hoping she is getting better! I really appreciate her wisdom! And she's funny too!
Globetrotter, Was wondering how you all do it, post and get work done. Had a talk with myself about it not to spend too much time on AC forum. Now, it is hit or miss several times during the day (and I am talking about my chores, not the forum!). It has been so hot that I get ill going out in the heat, so I am resolved to spend some time on here for awhile. I have enjoyed posting with all of you.
Imagine my surprise when I found out he was local....Metro Detroit....GardenArtist, Windy, Susan, etc. Are you familiar?
So....check out Amazon (sorry...not as cheap as my find), or whatever....you will not regret it!
A very insignificant little purchase .....that changed my life.
I told Mama one time when we used to talk about this very topic, that I wanted my funeral to be very simple, no flowers unless just a few daisies with little pink bows...and give all the money that would be wasted to a good charity...preferably our local animal shelter..that way something good will have come out of my life. I also told her that I would like to have Kermit the frog sit on my coffin and sing The Rainbow Connection and I remember she told me she had no idea how to hire a frog to sing at my funeral...
As bizarre as it sounds to a lot of people, I have always hoped I would know I was going..well, I do know I am going, but I mean I would like time to place all my babies with good homes, make sure everything is tidy and straigtened and if Mama is still here, be sure that I have made the best possible arrangements for her...I don't fear death personally not nearly as much as I fear losing my precious Mama....
Don't know what got me on that ...just talking and thinking out loud....
Then I think about the pain that will be left in my wake. I know my husband cannot make it without me. I know that sounds terribly egotistical, but it is the truth. He may stay alive, but he will live a solitary life in the bottle. He has lost his parents and his sister for all we know and his son lives his narcissistic life rarely concerned for anyone unless there is something in it for him. So my theory is that my recovering alcoholic (16 years) husband would fall quickly off the wagon which would send him into self hatred. So I need to stick it out if I have anything to say about it.
Oh and you guys talking about candy and weight?! I struggled every day of my life and since Mom at 108 lbs came to live with us, I have pretty much given up! The stress puts on that belly fat and believe you me, the last year has been very stressful! Between being forced to retire, dealing with the stress of trying to make wise financial decisions, going through 3 or 4 hospitalization soft Mom and not knowing if she would make it out, two NH stays,moving all her stuff, selling her house, becoming a full time caregiver, dealing with my stepson's denial of his child, and living with chronic pain. This has been enough stress to deal with and the stress of watching every morsel of food that goes in my mouth at 59, I just said, screw it!
Every night after dinner, I ask Mom if she wants some ice cream or pie. She gets this silly grin on her face and it makes us both laugh. I always, always make sure I have her favorite ice cream in the house. I will even go out and make a special trip to do that.
We used to tease her all the time cause she used to always say what a hunk Tom Selleck was.
This site has helped pull me through too as I realize I am not alone in this.
Our TV reception has been awful here lately, (everything seems to be taken from me), so I have been in the mode of reading most nights.
Listen to me: caretaking is no joke. It is extremely stressful and, sadly, boring. There is a reason that professionals do this. There is a reason that people get paid. Not everyone is cut out for this but many have no choice.
1) Get yourself to a therapist right away. You can call an 800-hotline and get a referral or call your own insurance company and get a referral. I did this 16 years ago and could only say one thing--what was I waiting for? It was so helpful and so quickly helpful that I truly regretted not having done it sooner. So, don't wait. Just do it.
2) The fast track to feeling better is gratitude. Yes, I know it sounds corny but, trust me, it works. Sit yourself down each morning and write or just think about the things you are grateful for. For example, you husband is alive, right? He has a job? do you have a job? do you have a house? Food? Friends? When I really try, I can make a loooooooooooooooooong list of things I am grateful for. Give it a try. It always lifts my spirits.
3) This may also sound corny. Are you eating right? Taking a good multiple vitamin? Getting exercise? Getting out of the house? These things are really important to lifting the mood. Tell us more about your situation. Can you take your mom out for walks? Drives?
4) Find something to occupy your mind that is interesting, even when you have to do boring chores. I know that this is hard when you are distracted all day but try. Do you like to read? Films on Netflix?
Stay in touch with us and let us know how you are doing! We do care!
Salisbury, you are right...about all of it...But I am on that same boat with Katie and Sharadale with the stress related weight issues and while my brain tells me what to do, how to do and why to do it...there is something about comfort food that I have to admit just helps me relax at times when everything is all settled down here and I put my feet up with something yummy. That is doing nothing positive for my waist...or that area where my waist used to be. I am toying with the idea of getting up super early and going to walk at the gym for at least 30 minutes...Mama is fast asleep at that time and I know would be fine..BUT, I am not too keen on leaving her alone in the house at that time. So must seems to be going on in the world nowadays I think about how folks might start to notice a pattern of my leaving and could break it.
Something happened in our neighborhood a couple of weeks ago that my paranoid self won't allow me to talk about right now, but it was bad and has made me super vigilant...and all the mess going on in the world right now makes me wonder when God is going to hit the big red button and say "enough"....
I do have a lot of blessings and wonderful things to be grateful for...and when I pinch myself and grab hold of me, it doesn't take me long to make a really long list...there is a little "hump" I have to get over sometimes to get there though...
So much of life to me that matters is based on the very basic, simple things...a cozy clean home, clean linens on the bed, a hot apple pie baking in the oven and being surrounded by those you love...even wandering in my own front yard and just feeling the breezes and closing my eyes on knowing God made this pretty world just for us...and then ZAP...something triggers one of "those" other emotions and I start thinking why do people have to mess this all up so badly..
Ah well, off again on a tangent...sorry, I guess I need more coffee.....
Anyway, it is a beautiful day here...and day two of football week...Anxiously awaiting my puppies new football attire...that makes me happy too...kind of like getting to dress up that little girl I never had...but here I am, life is good this morning, Mama is resting well, drank FOUR ensures yesterday PLUS a banana blended with one and some water...so I am soooo thankful for that....love you all...have a wonderful day I hope...I will head to that thread and check on Veronica...God love her...thinking of her constantly... thinking of you all. :)
Its been hot in Mo. this week in the high 80s and Sunday our air conditioner broke.Thankfully,a man came and fixed it Monday nite.Mother has to have a fan on her at all times and the house is set on 64 ,so it was hard to breathe.
Ive been thinking about you all.I miss Falcon and Jeanette.
And Katie222,I totally get where your coming from...Take care all...
Have been doing a lot of little cleaning projects through the house, you know the ones...they get overlooked for a while because they don't just stick out like a sore thumb, until you move something and suddenly go..oh Lord, look at this dust...so I got that all cleaned up and need to attack my two story windows today. Thankfully I have my handy dandy extension thingee that I bought last year and I found a recipe on Pinterest for a window cleaning solution that is simple and all you do is scrub well and rinse well and it dries without streaking, no drying required!!! sparkling clean glass with no wiping/ drying....
I got Mama to respond to me this morning by singing a bunch of crazy stuff...I tend to set whatever I'm doing at the time to a familiar tune and Mama starts laughing...she took her meds and drank an ensure and a half..!! yay! So she's seeming to get better.
I guess I ought to get rolling again...just wanted to check in and see what was going on...heading over to check on Veronica....
He didn't pack a thing when it was time to move him last year I get it, mom died and he was lost. he sat there like a lump while I packed, threw, donated and sifted through 60 years of stuff (I did move them 8 times). Between my sister (not my brother) we packed it all and divided it all. He did nothing. I moved it many states away along with him. So when he asks about something it is as if he had a dog in the fight. "No, I moved this that or the other thing". "I do all the shopping, cooking and my wife cleans. you think he is adding to the system..... but he continues to use the term we.... The next server is going to most likely spit in my food if they use the term "we".... unless WE are splitting the bill it is how was YOUR food is a better way to say it...... Note to self, bring bail money.......
I just bawled and bawled after I hung up the phone. Then I got a crying headache. Today my eyes look like I went eight rounds with Mike Tyson. I better check to make sure my ears are all intact.
Anyhow, Stacey hearing you speak of your Mom is nice. My Mom was such a selfless, kind person too. She always gave everyone the benefit of the doubt. Never held a grudge. Reminded me all the time that I should be grateful. She was my bestie for sure.