My "whine moment today." What's yours?

Stacey, hire a person! You do enough! I have someone that does my floors, the kitchen, dusting and Mom's bath. I do her room, and her laundry but she keeps her room pretty clean. I don't ask her to our room because there is so much stuff stacked up waiting for the addition because we put Mom in the room and had to put our stuff in there. We also have many baby things, like the crib and her toys. My bathtub has the baby's book basket, my husband's road bike, my mom's stuffed animals and the baby's stuffed animals! My bathroom is full of stuff my pack rat husband can't put away, like his LPs.in the bedroom is the crib and all my husband's 5 guitars and his switches and pedals. It is very very frustrating but it is where he goes no that Mom has the extra room and the other room is what will be demolished for the addition. It is the only place he can have his stuff. My dining room has a chaise lounge I bought for Mom and the fans and fixtures I bought for the addition. I live in a crazy house!

Speaking as someone who cleaned houses, it might work better if you could get your parents out of the house when the cleaner arrives (especially for the cleaner, nobody likes to be micro-managed while they work) and you all get to come home to a fresh clean house. And it doesn't have to be weekly, a deep clean just once a month can make a huge difference.

Cwillie, I am just not that trustworthy.

Darn auto correct.

Gershun, thank you, a cleaning lady is sounding better every minute!
Freqflyer, thanks for sharing that image, eeuuww! Old skin shavings make me sick to my stomach! Lol!
57twin, I once got glass stuck in my heal, and had to have my Dr literally dig it out, the healing hurt like hell! Sorry, don't pick, soak it in hot water and try to stay off of it, it may get red sore and pussy, and then you might be able to squeeze it out, it could be ahwhile!
Cwillie, my FIL would love to sit and watch while someone worked for him, he would feel important!
Sheradale, you and I are alike in having too much stuff, and my hubby collects coins so he would never trust anyone to clean our bedroom. I would love to know just how much money he has invested in our future, and we better get a good return! Ya right, I have gone along with this scheme of his for 25+ years, He better be right!

Hi everybody; I just want to let you know that I read your posts and appreciate everything you are going through, even if I haven't had a chance to respond.

As the saying goes, there is only one person you can count on, and that's yourself.

Frequent flyer, I can fully relate to what you are going through, and the feeling of frustration at all your attempts to get your mom the necessary help being thwarted. My mom has the same mind set. I'm worried about going back to work part time next week. Sometimes she doesn't even know I'm home when I am in the next room. I am actually surprised that I didn't get a call from the doctor's office about the urine test; I thought for sure something would show up. Maybe because she needed the blood test that measures creatine levels. She is unable to orient herself in terms of time and day. I also have not had a call about the referral to the specialist for her carpal tunnel surgery, and the volunteer friendly visitor I got from an agency went on a month's vacation right after meeting with mom. I got a call from her last Thursday saying she wanted to visit mom the next day, but didn't leave a number and I couldn't retrieve it from the call display. I phoned the agency and the contact person who arranged the visits is now on vacation, so the receptionist offered to have someone call the volunteer and then have them call me. I still haven't heard from her. In the meantime, mom vascillates between allowing me to have someone come in and I just want to put her in a nursing home. I had a really good arrangement with an agency for a few months before mom got so ornery with the people that it was too much stress on all of us, so I cancelled it. She won't even use a walker even though a cane is totally ineffective now. The quest for independence is going to get her in quite a lot of trouble one of these days. I had thought about quitting but I really need that little bit of extra income so that the cost of living doesn't eat into our savings. Apart from that, I need that break away from mom for my own sanity.

You know what, we should get all our mothers posting to each other on this website; it would be interesting to see what would transpire, lol. But joking aside, I wish there was a way we could do it without letting them know it was an Alzheimer's website.

Someone mentioned weight gain. Oh, tell me about it! Especially post menopause. I feel like the Pilsbury dough boy. You would think walking 20 minutes 4-6 times a day plus standing for three hours a day, 5 days a week would keep it off - not!

Globetrotter, did you feel like you were getting the run around with the surgery? If the surgery is elective, maybe you are?
The end of summer, a change in seasons, boredom if you didn't get a vacation or go to the beach, all good reasons weight could be going up. I was so uncomfortable, I shopped for some pretty summer blouses in the same size. Now, my weight is re-stabilizing, I can tell because I feel better.

Globetrotter, Just thought about something very similar today. What would our siblings or mothers be saying about us if they were posting on here?

Sendme2help, I think you hit the nail on the head - elective surgery, I believe that was what they called it, too. What blew my mind initially was that the specialist who would be doing the carpal tunnel surgery is a plastic surgeon, until I learned that wrist surgery came under that category, lol.

I have been stuck in here all summer, without my job because the kids are out of school, so that hasn't helped. Certainly boredom, and wishing I could even go on a mini course or photography group outing to learn how to better operate my digital camera. For all the trial and error, I haven't learned anything; I keep going back to the error of my ways, lol.

Our ears would probably be burning if mothers/siblings posted on here, lol.

So many things going on for everyone....

Regarding the emergency alert pendant - they are wonderful things, but here's my experience with them:

1) The very MINUTE you sign up for one, your name and phone number gets sold to a list of *other* companies so they can call you every day and pester you to buy THEIR system. They will call every day and will never stop. (Thank God for call block.)

2) The pendants are *not* indestructible. When Mom had her fall in April, she must have fallen on the pendant somehow, and it cracked. I'd wager it was no longer waterproof at that point. The company will usually replace them at no charge, but check your paperwork.

3) The pendants/wristbands are a wonderful thing, but they aren't magic. Fall detect sensors can give faulty alarms to the company if the wearer turns over the wrong way in bed, makes a quick movement or hits the pendant against something hard enough. Also, if your loved one is like my mom, they will wear the pendant day and night, never taking it off - so they forget it's even there, and when the time comes that they *need* to press that button for help, they may forget to do it, because they don't remember they're wearing the pendant. If I had not been here when Mom fell in April, she would have died right there on the floor, because she woud have been too dazed to press the button, couldn't get up on her own, and was bleeding from a terrible head wound. In my aunt's case, she was always taking the pendant off when she showered (even though it was waterproof) and where did she fall the most? In the bathroom, of course!

Regarding the housecleaner....someone send me one, please! The clutter from the ongoing sort / donate/ toss / sell / keep operation is driving me insane. I actually *dreamed* about it last night - I dreamed that someone told me I was a hoarder! LOL I'm far from it - I have absolutely *no* problem throwing things out, donating or selling them, and I'm only keeping the bare minimum. My trash guys and the local metal scrappers are getting a workout every week, because I put out extra bags of trash, broken down boxes and excess stuff.

I need my helmet tonight. The special sparkly one with pink deely-boppers on springs sticking off the top.
Called the kidney doc today to reschedule Mom's appointment (which is tomorrow). My work schedule is *very* heavy this week due to the upcoming holiday weekend - and who the heck scheduled the appt. for late in the week and late in the afternoon, anyway? I don't remember doing it, so how did it get scheduled?? Can't get her back in until after the 1st of the year, doc is booked until then. When I asked about cancellations, the receptionist actually laughed at me. Are you kidding?? Ok, so next tactic - since the nurse at the NH tells me Mom's kidney levels seem to be normalizing and she's doing better, can the doc just request new bloodwork be done, and if it's ok, we can reschedule for the 1st of the year? Oh heck no - the lady at the doc's office (I assume it was a nurse) got positively snotty with me and informed me that Mom is in Stage 4 Kidney Failure and her kidneys are only operating at 26% as of August 5th, which was when the last blood draw was done, but if I wanted to gamble with her health and cancel her appointment, that was up to me - they couldn't force me to bring her in. Ummmm....WHAT?
Ok...first and foremost, no one has ever said the words "Stage 4 Kidney Failure" and "operating at 26%" to me - ever. Last month, they said her kidneys were trying to fail, but that taking her off the diuretics should take care of the problem, and a few weeks later, one of the nurses at the NH told me her kidney levels were normalizing. So if things are so bad, why was no additional blood work done?? And why wasn't I told if things are so bad? I was led to believe this was a temporary situation and that her kidneys were recovering - now I'm told otherwise. The doc's office said the doc *must* have mentioned all of this in her last appointment, surely....uh - no. He didn't. They also said he must have told me at the last appointment that with Stage 4 Failure, her kidneys will *never* be normal again - uh...no again. He didn't.
Second...an appointment was made for a day and time that I could never have taken Mom to the appointment. I couldn't figure out how that happened, because I knew *I* would never have chosen that day/time. Turns out I wasn't losing my mind - I didn't choose the day/time - the doctor's office arbitrarily schedules appointments and gives the info the NH to give to me (they didn't, I only found out by accident when a nurse mentioned the appointment) - and I'm just supposed to make whatever day/time they set work, somehow. I had to have my sister re-arrange an appointment of her own so that she could come and take Mom to this appointment, since she absolutely cannot reschedule.
Third...the NH nurse got snotty with me too (like I needed that!) when I told her about the issue with the doc's office and them saying that Mom was in Stage 4 Kidney Failure and operating at 26% - said it wasn't their job to tell me those things, it was the doctor's, and beside that, she said they don't even have that info in their records! WTH??? I'd like to know who the heck is dropping the ball here, but I suspect it's a little on both sides.

Not sure which is harder - taking care of Mom at home, or dealing with all the yahoos from the NH and doctor's offices that can't seem to get their crap together and cooperate!

After all of the runaround and hassle today, I was fully ready to kick butt and take names. I made do with cleaning out more boxes from storage instead. I'll take out my frustrations on that. I was up working until 1am this morning and then couldn't sleep, didn't go to sleep until around 2 or 2:30am, back up at 7am and at it again. I should be in bed already, but I'm cranking again after all the hassle today. I'll tackle a few more boxes. Tomorrow is trash day, musn't disappoint the trash guys!

Mama has been happy today...talking again...a LOT...even watching TV some...rarely does she EVER do that...her little cat is asleep beside her now and she is looking nice and cozy.

I got a repairman out here today to fix my built in oven...it is an older model and I love the way it bakes, not quite sure what was wrong with it, but wasn't really wanting to replace it just yet so decided to check out the option of fixing vs replacing..If I replaced it will most likely mean I will also have to hire a carpenter to work on the cabinetry surrounding it and I do NOT want to start that right now on top of all else, but I think he is going to be able to fix it...but it turned out being something I had not counted on and he went to get the part, left the oven askew half in and half out of the wall, in bits and pieces in the kitchen.then called me and said he would be back in the AM..wth....why could he not come back and fix it today?? oh well...I didn't just have to have the oven but I hate having parts all over the place.

Click on 'CAREGIVER SUPPORT, then, EMOTIONAL WELLBEING, the scroll to RECENT DISCUSSIONS: LOVE NOTES FROM CAREGIVERS WHO HAVE LOST A LOVED ONE.

Sendme, This is a good idea to start a thread where caregivers can get support during that challenging time.

Susan, I hope you can get some answers with the kidney problem, my inclination would be to hear what that kidney doctor actually says over receptionists and nursing home personnel. Sounds like the nursing home personnel may have set up the doctor appointment. When my Mom was in for rehab last year they used to set up her doctors appointments and then just tell me when it was when I came in later........

Hope, I have a microwave that is part of a built in wall oven. The microwave part broke nearly 2 years ago...I called Sears repair and the first guy they sent out didn't even know how to pull it out of the wall to see what was wrong so he scheduled for 2 other guys to come out 2 weeks later. !!! The other 2 guys came out, pulled it out and said they needed to order a part and would be back in 4 weeks. They tried to leave the microwave on the kitchen table an wouldn't be back until after Thanksgiving! I made them put the broken unit back into the wall. They arrived 4 weeks later and put the one part in....needed yet another part so it went for another couple of weeks of waiting...then they got it running.after nearly 2 and a half months...the one guy was really hostile when I asked if it would work this time...he said of course it will work....I have a second microwave on the counter which we used most of the time and after many months and only using the wall microwave 5x and $500. .....it stopped working. Now if I see that repair truck around town I feel like throwing rocks at it! We continue to use our table top microwave and I plan to call another repair place or get a whole new wall oven system which of course is thousands of dollars. I put that all on hold with all that is going on with Mom now. I certainly hope your repair person is more competent than the losers I had with that microwave!

Wow I was really tired. I just read my last post. I'm just not that trustworthy? I'm very trustworthy! Unfortunately, not too many people are. Obviously, I meant not that trusting.

Katie Put a bowl of flowers in the gap where the microwave is (was once you throw it at the nearest repair man and get a shelf for your table top one that way it doesn't clutter up your work top - my guy fitted a hanging shelf below the top units and it works a dream

I have one more whine this morning....What too, is going on lately with people shooting and fighting? Is it the full moons or have people just gone off the deep end with the heat? People fighting and brawling in Walmarts, people fighting on busses, etc. It is like some 50's horror movie depicting the future where some evil space ray makes people attack one another....I am staying in amap!!

Katie, one time years ago, I had just come home from having a Hysterectomy and there was really big police, SWAT activity right in my neighborhood. I was terrified! It seems a man had had a tussle with his girlfriend and a gun was shown. Well, this man was friends with my next door neighbors and he decided to hold up there after said argument with the gun. My husband and kids had left for work and school, and I was all alone. A there were SWat guys with dogs in my yard, and a police officer knocked on my door and told me to shut the blinds, and to lock all doors and windows. I was in a lot of pain, on a lot of pain meds, and had a catheter strapped to my leg, Perfect! NOT! I called my husband to come home but the police wouldn't let him past the corner, but the news teams were all lined up near the same corner asking my husband questions, and the silly sod tells them (local news team) my wife's in our home right there recovering from major surgery, and is on DRUGS! Well That made the news as I sat alone watching for updates on the telly. Great! Thanks Hon! As it turned out, the Bad Guy Hid up in my next door neighbors attic, and they threw those noxious bombs in through the vents, and he came out quickly, quiet and vomiting all over. The whole house had to be fumigated with big fans, but I was safe he went to jail for the gun incident, and I was so embarrassed by the news report, my silly husband! That was so scary at the time, they even closed the nearby elementary school. That's the only bad thing that has ever happened in my neighborhood in 20 years we've lived here.

Last May16th,I cut my wrist accidentally.Mother was/is so bad,I didnt even go to the Dr. to get the stitches out and my uncle removed them.I showed and told my primary onJuly2 but he didnt think there was any problembecause I can move my thumb ,but it hurts so bad with every movement I make and naturally,its my right hand.It hurts from the tips of mt fingers to midway up my forearm.Putting on Mothers diapers that require 2 kotex pads every time I change her hurts me over and over all day everyday along with everything else.I know I need help and Im in trouble, but I am Mothers only hope of any help and if it requires surgery,whod step up?Noone in my sorry family!Im so mad at myself for trying to fix the broken mug that cut me!This is my current whine,I will make it through this somehow..

Luckylu, uhoo, sounds like you may have cut a tendon or something, better get that checked out!

Oh Katie.....I was just getting on here to post my situation and now I am thinking...oooops.....As it turns out, "the man" told me he would be back first thing this morning to fix the oven. OK, in my head, to me for most repair people I have known (more of them old school I suppose and no longer working) but that usually means somewhere between 7:00 and 8:00 AM...I got up even earlier than usual because, as you all know, there is a load to be done first thing in the morning and I wanted Mama all set before he got here...so I got up, got her bathed, fed, meds given, got my bath, cleaned the house, etc. etc. and I am noticing that no one is here yet. OK, so it's not like I have any trains to catch, so I think, chill out, he may have had an emergency...10:00 AM rolls around...no man....10:30....no man, no calls...finally, I send him a text a short time ago...all I said was "You didn't forget me did you???" in about 30 minutes I get a call from him and he said...in a very sleepy voice..."I haven't forgotten you, me and my son went fishing this morning...I'll be there in 30 minutes, maybe an hour ....I'll be there"....oh Lord....how unprofessional is that! And him seeing with his own eyes what my situation is...I didn't get angry...yet...if he'll get here and fix it, I'll pay him and that will be that ...I just probably won't use him again...but how inconsiderate...or is it just me because I'm tired and cranky???

But your story is exactly what I was afraid of..I started to just buy the combo microwave and oven and then remembered I'd have to have the cabinetry altered..even the simple wall units are not sized to fit my space anymore and right now the last thing I want to do is start tearing the kitchen apart...so I'm hoping the "fix" will keep it going long enough until I can have my kitchen redone like I"m planning on some day...

I also remember Daddy used to tell me, when I would want to buy things that had the bells and whistles included in them...the more stuff it has on it, the more likely it is to tear up earlier, more often and cost more to fix it..I never forgot that, so I tend to buy the simplest thing I need to do what I need it to do and that is that...

But I did feel like saying..."oh by all means, don't let my appointment get in the way of your fishing trip".....good griefo

Oh lucky...I'm so sorry. I know the feeling of knowing if you end up in the hospital, what would happen to your Mom? Right now, I don't have time to be sick, or take a rest, ...reminds me of that scene in Predator when the guy who is the bad a$$ guy Jesse Ventura played...he got grazed with a bullet and his comrade told him .."man, you're bleeding"...he replied.."I ain't got time to bleed"....that's about the way I feel around here....

I don't even know what advice to give with that issue...I have been blessed so far that I don't have any issues regarding muscles or tendons, other than just being older, tired and cranky most of the time.... feel better...

Stacey and Katie...we have had a very bad situation in our neighborhood recently and I think it is still somewhat ongoing. It is directly across the street from my house and a very scary situation to me...so much so that I am afraid to mention it in detail....but not good...and the only thing I remember like this in this neighborhood (other than the idiot who fires the cannon) in the 46 years we have lived here....not a good feeling, I know.

Sharadale...hahahaha...I knew what you meant...I got tickled when I read that!! :)

Tonight's headlines: crazy lover hiding out in the attic brandishing a gun while neighbor cowers in a drugged state alone and helpless in her house! DON'T NOBODY PANIC!!!!!

Katie, Lowes has above the stove microwaves for $249- labor day weekend. If you bought one, Lowes can recommend for installation. You were taken advantage by the repair guys, I stopped calling that company for repairs years ago. Write a review on yelp, if there is room to post there! Then throw the rocks. You have a good/or better day.

To all those repairmen, you are fired. Would rather live with no appliances than deal with your abuse, arrogance, rudeness. Bought a countertop oven because ours has a weak ignition switch, gas leaks. No problem! YOU ARE FIRED!

No offense to so many wonderful repairmen, repairpersons, and handi-helpers, who deserve a 'helping the elderly' award.

Well, I can totally relate to repairman coming first thing in the morning. We had put a new AC unit in last year. $4500 and that was the price given by a friend. We have been having problems this summer with it. It has been hotter than normal here in Sunny Fl. Usually we are actually cooler than many other states in the south during the summer, but this year is really bad. So the AC is cranking and it can't quite make it to 76 in the middle of the afternoon. My hubby called and he said he would be here first thing. Usually when he says that, he is here by 8:00, sometimes 7:30. This morning I woke in pain at 5 so I got up, put dishes away, fed the dogs, took them out, and took a shower. My husband got up and went to work, still no repairman. I hung out until 10, then I went back to bed because Mom was still sleeping. I got back up and checked on Mom. She was awake and ready for breakfast/lunch so I made her ravioli from last night's dinner. I took the dogs out and the guy was outside! 11:45!
I was supposed to take Mom to the gastro Dr. Again today, but as I was getting things together, changing her oxygen tank. She complained that she was really tired. I left her in the living room and told her to stay there and rest, I was just going out to the car. When I came back in, she wasn't in the chair. She had gone to her bedroom and was sitting on her bed. She repeated that she was tired. I told her we could change her appointment. She hesitated but then after I told her it was fine she said okay. I was concerned that if I tried to take her by myself she might fallout in this heat. I waited five minutes and took her blood pressure. It was 90/48. She is usually low, but I have never seen her that low. She has been sleeping and now it is 110/58. I have to call the doctor back to reschedule because they were at lunch when I called. When I call back, I will mention this. Her O2 levels were good and her pulse was 80 so that was ok..

Send2me, we are going to start calling you "The Donald"