My "whine moment today." What's yours?

I actually got a good night's sleep but woke with coughs and allergy symptoms. I hate when that happens. Mom is supposed to go to the dentist today which is 40 miles away! Since we were going to her home town, we planned to stop at her church where until last October, she worked every day as the treasurer and all around know it all!
I don't mean that in a bad way, they just took advantage of her knowledge and organizational skills and she basically ran the show. Since she was hospitalized they have been going crazy, how do we do this? I don't know, Marge was in charge of that! It drove me crazy when the pastor would call her in her hospital bed asking her where something was or complaining about some political problem at the church. At one point,I grabbed the phone and told him that my mother was in the hospital and that he had plenty of notice that someone should have learned what she knew. I had told hi many times that although the work she did kept her mind active and gave her purpose, it was ridiculous for them to depend on a person so elderly!
Any way they still don't know what they are doing, so we have to stop there so she can sign papers and locate things. I have some anger toward them because her first hospital stay and the mad dash to move all her stuff here overnight occurred when she cracked her rib while moving tables at the church! She was the person walking backwards carrying the table and she ran into something!
Those are the plans for the day, but she was so tired yesterday, I don't know how much she will be able to do. We shall see! Have a great day everyone.

Moved to Independent Living this week in one day my partner broke my favourite table flower arrangement, a bottle of Vodka, in parking lot, & toilet seat. Please god don't let him break anything else!

Had a very restless night...couldn't sleep for some reason, then when I finally drifted off Mom was calling saying that someone was at the front door....at 4 am. Of course no one was there and at that hour they would have had the police called on them anyhow at best, and it was pouring rain. Kind of creepy. Our hospice aide says that the elderly people she works with really act up around a full moon and she has been observing this for awhile...I think there is another moon around the 23rd so it will be interesting to see what goes on. Meanwhile I am exhausted and fuzzy headed this morning....and hope my coffee helps. I feel always like I am on a runaway rollercoaster going downhill fast.

Sheradale, I almost hate to ask, as I don't want to jinx myself, but what do you mean about SPAM? Where is it showing up on here? Is in your emails? I don't get it! I think that's a good thing! Lol

JEANETTEB, WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU! I MISS YOU! COME BACK! I HOPE YOU ARE HAVING FUN! DON'T WORK TOO HARD! LOVE YOU!

Stacey, I meant to tell you. I love the pic of your Mom and Dad...how sweet...I know you miss them...They are a very handsome couple!

Well, Buster's GiveARip Repair Service arrived early this morning (9:45...hahahaha) did what he came to do...put the breaker by in and KABOOM! promptly blew up what he just put in...I think I should have just gotten a new overn to start with...My head told me that...I let him kind of talk me into fixing this one...but today he said..."I knew you should have just gotten a new one". I told him...but you TOLD me that this one would be fine fixed..you know I wanted a new one and so I decided to just fix this one...so going forward, so I know next time...when you said an oven's an oven and you could fix this one...that what I should have HEARD was buy a new one?

So now I am about to head out looking for a new oven. and I am sorely limited by sizing because of the opening in that cabinet. I may opt for a countertop oven to get me by until I find just what I want. Because I hope this is the last oven I am going to be buying, I want to get a good one...not one that I have to buy because it's the only one. Also I have a migraine and I make really bad decisions when I have migraine.

I am doing something right now...I am giving myself permission not to worry about football food. I will call out for pizza or just make it simple...I am notorious for panicking and then I start rushing and hyperventilating and it ends up being a big bunch of hooey...so cranking it back a notch and just doing like Daddy used to do..."go with the flow kiddo...go with the flow"....wow I miss my Daddy... :)

Stacey, There were 2 posts on here earlier this morning about loans, it was obviously spam and I don't see them on here now so they must have been taken away. These people don't get it that we are not on here looking for a loan! Or they are that desperate.

Home health aide called off and there were 2 strangers at my door to give Mom a bath during lunch time of course. Had to send them away and now I gotta do it myself....the best thing about this day is that it will end at some point. I am sure all this is because of the stupid holiday and I have to change and bend so everyone else can party, etc. They always tell you they are there for you... but then they sure expect you to bend and accomodate when they want their vacation time. Who bends for us when we are on this 24/7??? What holiday??? Arrrrrgh!!

Oh...another thing...Busters GiveARip left the basement door wide open and out went my indoor only kitty....After he left I saw the door and got to checking all my babies and found one missing...and she is NOT used to anything to do with the outdoors...sure enough, she was in the basement about to go out the lower garage door..thank God I noticed quickly...she would not have lasted long outdoors...she's tiny so she could have easily been picked off by a big hawk that is always hovering...and then there are the coyotes that sometimes visit during the day...

Katie!! AMEN Sista!!! Everything is ALWAYS at everyone else's convenience...Ours called me yesterday and let me know the main office was closed Monday but of course they had staff available to come out for the usual bathing, etc...no nurses of course as they don't work, unless it is an emergency in which case we can call them.

I told them that it would not be necessary to send someone here (I knew it would be one of those wait all day and wonder when they're coming deals)...told them I would be fine...that way Mama and I can sleep in too...I will turn it into a fun day for us....

I just get tired of everything being at everyone else's convenience and to heck with us...cram us in whenever....

I am thankful that Busters GAR did just charge a small service call. I know he didn't fix anything..but even though his method of doing business was aggravating and arrival times frustrating too, I know he tried, he was not unpleasant, and he spent a LOT of time so I didn't mind paying a service fee....

Hope, Go with the Flow! Wise words to live by! Perhaps you should look into one of those counter top dealio's, for the short term, until you save up to do your kitchen upgrades for sure! Maybe Craigslist or something too, might be worth looking into! Sorry your repairs didn't work out! Sounds like a nice guy though, if a bit flakey! Thank You for your nice word about my parents pix, yes, I miss them every day. But time does heal the deep pain, and you are left with the Missing Them Part, which never goes away, tears!

My current whine is Mom and her hearing. She refuses to accept that it is her ears that are not working, not the hearing aids.

Since Mom had been in the hospital for a couple of days due to a fall, and is now home, she needs a follow-up with her primary doctor. She doesn't want to go because her hearing aid doesn't work.... [sigh].... yes, it does work, it's her ears that stopped working.

Mom is happy to go to the doctors, that never has been an issue. She grumbled today that the last time she saw this doctor [routine primary care] her insurance was charge such & such price and Mom didn't hear anything the doctor said. She feels she shouldn't been charged.

Do we have a problem in the room?

Freqflyer, my Mom has started to have hearing problems over the last year. Hearing Impairments are so frustrating! My stepfather had significant hearing loss most of his life due to working in a factory back in the day without protective headphones. It was so sad to see such an outgoing happy person become more introverted because he could not hear what people said to him. He would ask them to repeat about 3 times and then give up. Many people stopped talking to him because it was frustrating for them too. Fortunately for me, he could hear the frequency of my voice, so it didn't impact our relationship and I made sure he could see my mouth when I spoke to him. Hearing aids are not necessarily the answer because they amplify all the sound even the ambient sound around. Often, the hearing impaired person turns down the hearing aid so they don't have to listen to street noise or the drip in the sink. The when someone talks to them, they can't hear them. Also there are times that the hearing aid does not amplify the frequency of the voice someone needs to hear. Commercials make it sound so easy, but it is not.mom's problems are not so bad yet and using Vancomycin so much really scares me because it causes hearing loss. She has been on it for months and has three more weeks to go!
When she watches tv, it is so loud that my husband who is hyper sensitive to sounds when they aren't his, walks around with headset and his phone playing music when he co ex out of he bedroom! I have asked her to wear wireless headphones after 9 to watch tv in the living room because our room is right next door to the TV and my hubby goes to bed early. This way she can still hang with me and hear the show.

Oh Joy! My mother's new toilet lift arrived this evening and it is very heavy in the box.I foolishly looked forward to tomorrow of being able to lay on my heating pad but guess what I get to do tomorrow? My biggest hope at this moment, in a world full of human suffering and turmoil , is that this toilet lift does what it advertises to do (terrible grammar).My life has come down to being excited about a toilet lift....oh my.

Hope, you can get a convection oven for the counter. Did he take away the old oven?you can always put the convection oven in that space. Maybe.

timbuktu I've always found toilet lifts to be quite exciting...........:)

Well I told you all about our plans for the day. Well everything pretty much down the toilet! I got up early and went to wake Mom and she said she was too tired to get up. She decided she didn't want to go to church so she could have more time to sleep. When she did get up, she ate and off we went to the dentist about on hour away. We got there 2 minutes before her appointment but the door was locked, so we thought they had not returned from lunch. I was concerned about Mom in the heat, but she said she was ok. We waited a few more minutes and I called. The answering machine gave me the message that the office was closed for the holiday weekend! So we packed up and headed home. We did stop at Baskin Robbins for a scoop of ice cream for our troubles.
My hubby and I had talked with our grandbaby's other grandma about stopping by after she got home from work to see our granddaughter. We kept waiting for her to call and didn't want to push her. Baby Mama is on a cruise with her friends. At 6, I decided to text her. She was still at work, so those plans were screwed too! I had even rescheduled my cleaning lady so we could go. After texting some more, we worked out that we would go see her tomorrow at 11. What a day!

Sharadale, I understand about being hyper sensitive to sounds when they aren't your own... I have that same issue like your husband does, so I understand. Like right now my sig other is watching football on his computer and the speaker in that laptop is so very tinny, like finger nails on a blackboard :P

How I wish my Mom had better eyesight to help balance out with her lack of hearing. If I could only write down things for her, but she has macular degeneration at a stage where reading is very difficult for her. I feel so sorry for my Mom but she was her own worst enemy when it came to her ears, she didn't like having the wax removed, the water was always too hot so the nurse could never get past step 1 with her. Now the wax has cemented itself into her ear canal, nothing short of surgery could remove it, and at 97 years old, that's not happening.

Anyone know if there is *any* help for a caregiver left holding the financial bag when their loved one enters the NH?

I guess I'll talk to Mom's Medicaid case worker when she gets back from vacation and see if there's any sort of help to be had...but somehow I doubt it. I'm so bummed out right now I could just cry.

I'm not sure what I've been doing today. I feel flaky. I had to go get my meds this afternoon which meant a trek across town in my truck which I have not had time to take back...again...to get them to fix my AC. I am really getting angry about that...because when I think of how much I paid when they replaced the compressor and the other stuff ...to the tune of around $1,000...I should not still be dealing with riding with hot air blowing on me...I am too nice I think. They know I am not going to jump them, I know they are trying or seem to be but honestly..they have had my money for two months and I might as well have just waited til next summer since I've had to endure all but a few days with this hot sticky air...After four times you'd think they could fix it, if they knew what they were doing....

Anyway, called the Pharmacy before I went to be sure my doc had called in my scripts...they assured me they had...gave me the date...I told them, you must be certain, I cannot leave my Mama for long, she checked, came back and told me, yes, it is there...so I get there...and had they??? NOOOOO.....so they told me if I could wait a few minutes they would get it cleared up...Not planning on returning today and needing my BP meds for sure...I waited and the time began to drag on...I had to finally tell them, let me just get the one and I guess I'll have to do without my BP MEDS til Tuesday...thank God for someone who got it and she gave me enough to get me through til Tuesday...

Then we move on to the oven. I I found ONE oven in this town that fits the opening in our cabinets. It is a nice one, but I hate not having a choice..and I'm not crazy about ordering one because if it doesn't fit then I'd have to go the route of returning it...I guess...maybe as long as it had a local retailer I could take it there...but I have looked into getting just a countertop oven to do me until I can do this right...I found one at a very reasonable...dare I say cheap price today and it had nothing but great reviews ...most people were saying they never use their oven anymore with it...so that might be jut what I need for now and then I could take my time.

just feeling "meh" ....ready to hit the reset button....

Susan, I don't think there is any help. Knowing what to do about the house is such a big question, particularly if you're living there. I know I plan on letting this house go, since it is too much work and expense to maintain. Since you're mother is on Medicaid, the decision is hard. I you sell the house, the money will go to her care and will be quickly used. But if you keep the house, all the expenses are yours, and perhaps it will be yours one day. It all depends on the rules of the state and how generous they are feeling at the moment, it seems.

Are you going to be able to afford to continue living at the house?

Frequent Flyer,Sorry your Mother is having hearing problems.Could it be possible she has a hole in her eardrum?My Mother did and they put a patch over it and she heard better for awhile.
Hopefully,you get it fixed soon.

Jessie, if it weren't for having to pay Mom's bills plus my own, plus the added expenses for the NH that her income won't cover (private room because putting her with someone else means she's closed into a corner behind a curtain, unacceptable), I might be ok. As it is right now, I'm not sure. Mom has already racked up a huge bill at the NH, which I just got in the mail today - apparently what the bookeeper told me wasn't quite correct - that Medicare would pay until "about September" - because Mom now has 3 months worth of patient pay - to the tune of $3900. So now I need to pay that on top of everything else. Property taxes are due on the house. All other regular bills are due within the next 2 weeks. And with only my income to cover it all, I already feel like I'm drowning.

And yes, the thought of just bringing Mom home crossed my mind, and I *know* that's not an option. But it crossed my mind, just the same.

We just didn't have enough time to prep for the events that have occurred this year with Mom's health, but I guess no one gets any prep time - this stuff just happens whether you're rich or poor, ready or not. All I can do is forge ahead and try to make it. I don't get tax refunds anymore because I have nothing to claim (no kids and I own my own business, so I am responsible for my own payroll taxes and may break even at the end of the year, but no refund for me). I can't work any more hours or take on any more clients or projects than I already have - trust me I tried and failed on that one. I have a decent stock of meat in the freezer, canned veggies and like that - so I can start relying on that and keeping groceries to a minimum, which will help. I need to go and visit my youngest in another state sometime this fall/winter, and that's not negotiable - I cannot go a whole year without seeing him, and it's already been since January. I will make it as cheap a trip as possible, but this is one thing I don't consider a luxury. I'm going to be giving up any other unnecessary expenses and cutting corners where ever I can, and selling off anything not nailed down or absolutely needed or of sentimental value to make it.

I've done a bit of research online about Mom's bills and my responsibility for them, and I realize that I'm not personally responsible for them, and if I let them go unpaid, there would really be nothing they could do except come after her estate after she's gone, but I don't think I could live with myself if I did that. The bills were incurred with the intention of paying them, and both Mom and Dad would be extremely unhappy if they knew I let them go unpaid. That guilt would make me crazy and I'd have to live with it the rest of my life. Can't do it.

The house is supposed to come to me after Mom's passing, but the stupid attorney is dragging her feet on getting that paperwork done, so I guess I need to make yet another phone call next week after the holiday to address that issue. Not like I'm in a huge hurry to incur another bill, but the documentation needs to be put in place while Mom is still alert and lucid enough to sign it. With her situation changing fairly rapidly (at least in the big scheme of things - she's gone way downhill in just a matter of months)...time is of the essence here. I am her POA, but this particular matter needs to be done by Mom's hand, not mine. If the house were mine now, this wouldn't be an issue, but that's not the way things are.

Susan A43, thank you for the information on the emergency alert pendant. I was thinking how I wish my mom would wear one (which she won't), but it is rather expensive. She would probably put it away and not bother to wear it. I can see from what you describe that the technology is not always reliable. The emergency responders must have a few false alarms; I can only imagine how embarrassed the recipients of those calls must feel. Then, like smoke detectors, when there is a real emergency the gadgets don't always work.

Susan, I'm glad you got some answers regarding the function status of her kidneys, and that it is not as dire as expected. It certainly is a very difficult decision, dialysis; between a rock and a hard place. I was worried about radiologist's statement about five years ago regarding mom's kidney not functioning very well. I have not heard anything re the urinalysis that was done following her last doctor's visit, and she just had blood work done after a fall she had this afternoon and that was fine. So either she had a miraculous recovery or the importance of these numbers mean different things to different specialists.

I don't think my post went through; I accidentally pressed the enter button. I was saying, Freqflyer, how distressing and frustrating it is to watch your mother's hearing loss increase to the point where hearing aids don't work anymore. My mother is at that point as well; one does not yield any sound at all so she just wears one hearing aid now. There are picture cards you can purchase, probably through the hearing aid society, which might reduce the stress of verbal interaction, but what picture cards can depict complex thoughts and emotions?

I am also sensitive to noises, so I can certainly identify with how distracting TV volume is; I am so grateful to mom because she is much happier just reading the close captioning.

A bad day today. Mom was depressed and frustrated this morning so wanted to come out with me to get the groceries today. I told her I had to go to Walmart before going to the grocery store because I needed some supplies. Which she interpreted as, "You don't want me to go with you." I expressed concern about her lack of mobility and stamina and she decided it would be better than sitting home staring at the four walls. Fair enough, all power to her if she was willing to go out. I asked her to use her walker; not a chance. Sunglasses? No. Sun hat? No. Okay, let's go. My sister and brother et al (partners) were flying to Italy today for a month; they dropped by yesterday to say goodbye. Nice! The transit ride to Walmart went smoothly, and she was able to sit on a bench in the store when she got tired. At one point we had to go to the lower level, and I sought out the elevator. Good choice. After finally finding what I was looking for, the nearest exit was the escalator. Bad choice! I had my bundle buggy and basket so I went ahead of her. Bad choice! Mom followed behind with her cane. About a quarter of the way up she loses her balance and falls backwards and to the side of the escalator. Oooh. I thought this is the end. I was so grateful to the store clerk who had the wherewithal to press the stop button so fast. The manager and staff person came and other people came to our aid. Luckily, she did not hit her head, did not lose consciousness, did not have any serious cuts (just skin tears on her arm) and no broken bones or muscle/ligament/soft tissue injuries.

We had her sit on one of the steps on the escalator and kept telling her not to get up. Her primary distress was her perception that everybody was looking at her. Of course, being on store property, the manager wanted to call an ambulance, and I was happy enough to have her checked out. Mom, of course, was livid, which drove her blood pressure up to 180/90 (I think that was the reading; at any rate, it was high). The paramedics were great at handling her dementia issues. She was fine, but she was so irascible waiting for the doctor to see her, then waiting for the blood test results which the doctor ordered because I told him she was complaining of feeling so weak lately. Even the test turned out normal. Which just totally baffles me because she claims, and appears to be, so ill all the time. I'm guessing it must be musculoskeletal combined with depression. Unless its the effect of having no thyroid where Synthroid can only do so much. We were referred to the Fall Clinic and this time I'm making mom go. This has been about the third fall since July 22nd.

hope my husband has a 1999 Ford F-150 and he had the same problem with his AC. Finally they told him he would have to choose between AC and heat! Well in FL that is a no brainer. We only use the truck for ranch use now so it is no big deal, but for you. I hope that is not the problem

Well, just trying to work up the courage to open the toilet lift box.I do not look forward to installing it.Love my husband, do not love being his tool monkey.Will give updates throughout the day, let you know how it is going and whether or not hubby and I will be getting a divorce this afternoon,(lol!)

Globetrotter. I am so sorry for the problems you had with your mother. I know my heart would have been in my throat as she fell. I hope you are ok.